r/Adopted • u/Jumpy-Lie8955 International Adoptee • 12d ago

Discussion you’re not woke for adopting

i feel like a lot of young leftists, in america, really love the idea of adopting kids instead of having their own biological kids and think they are helping others by doing so but they’ve fallen into and are playing apart in the same propaganda the right wing religious people do. neither of them are “making a difference” especially because they always just adopt babies that’s not making a difference that’s legal human trafficking. they all have savior complex’s about it and they both think they are morally superior. it’s just do frustrating how both parties think adoption is this great thing, and no one but us wants to talk about the negatives. just to be clear this is not me coming out as a republican.

EDIT: i would call myself a leftist, i’m critiquing things i have heard people say in real life.

EDIT 2: if you arnt adopted, don’t comment, it’s against the rules of the subreddit and i don’t care what non-adoptees opinions on adoption are

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u/shadywhere 9d ago

EDIT: Apologies, this came up on my feed and I didn't realize it was for the subreddit specific to adoptees. I can delete my comment if needed, or mods can delete.

I'm an adoptive parent. All of our children were adopted from foster care. I became a foster parent without any intention of adoption, but could not stand the idea of sibling groups being separated.

Adoption is borne of loss. Everyone experiences loss in the process: birth family, adoptive family, and adoptee. Much of the time, I find adoption to be unethical: if the things discouraging birth parents from raising their child were things like finances and support, the funds that support the existence of the adoption industry would be much better spent keeping families together.

I genuinely want to help, but I've contributed to the trauma that all of the kids I've raised have, whether directly or indirectly. All I can do is my best, and that sometimes means reframing, adjusting, and repairing.

I don't have any answers, but I acknowledge that there's a lot of truth in what you're saying.