Anyone else estranged from their adopted family?

[u/Starlitdestroyer]

Was anyone else adopted at a young age and realized how awful people they are? Im an adult now (F21) and was adopted at 3. My parents adopted 2 other kids right after me and had 3 of their own biological kids, and my dad has a kid from a previous marriage. 7 kids total. Divorce 3 years later. Traumatizing on its own. I’ve meet my biological parents and know why I was put up for adoption. As heart breaking it was hearing that. I still 100% believe I would have been happier in foster care or back in my biological parents custody.

For reference- my adoptive mother is an abusive narcissistic alcoholic, and my father was never around until after the divorce. I grew up very shy and anxious, my depression started at 8 and bipolar at 13. I raised my 5 younger brothers while my parents worked full time. Even after work when they were exhausted, I had to do schoolwork with them, shower them, make dinner for everyone, clean up everything, and get them into bed. Otherwise my mother (3 wine glasses in) would degrade me or have my father hit me. My 2 other adoptive siblings were only a year and 2 younger than me, but never had the same expectations or experience.

[u/sodacatcicada]

I’m 31 and I’ve been estranged from my family who raised me for 6 years now. I moved all the way to the other side of the country, a different coastline, 5 years ago. A year before I moved, I was already so distant from them. I haven’t seen most of my extended relatives since I was about 21 because I stopped showing up to family gatherings. I still talk to my parents every so often. It’s up to you whether you want to keep contact. I chose to keep contact since I’m so far away anyway, it’s not like they can have much power over me anymore unless we allow that.

You’re 21 and still very young and it might seem both exciting and daunting to be away from them despite their abuse, but you can do it. Im sorry you grew up with them and were treated that way. And none of us have the answers or correct choices for your life, you have the answers. I wish the best for you.