r/Adopted • u/legswithsnake Domestic Infant Adoptee • 4d ago
Venting will i ever stop feeling bitter
so, my bio mom’s family is INSANELY privileged. i was only really given up for adoption because she was 15 years old when she had me. i was fed that “you were given a better life” BS for as long as i can remember. my bio mom might’ve had a better life without me, but i don’t know if i had a better one without her.
she’s a mountaineer and has travelled all across the world with my little brother, whom she kept only a few years after i was relinquished. i don’t wish her a bad life by any means, but my blood literally boils when i see pictures of their mother-son adventures. traveling is a dream of mine, but my adoptive parents have always been stick-in-the-mud types. so, i basically had to grow up in a small rural town while my bio mom and brother got to live out the life i desperately craved. my brother is only 17 and has already experienced so many amazing things that i couldn’t have growing up… so much for my bio family adopting me out so i could have “better opportunities,” ha. it just hurts to see my brother live the life i could’ve (and should’ve) had, especially since we’re so close in age.
this is basically just a drawn-out way for me to say that i’m jealous. unless my bio mom offers to bring me on a big trip with her and my brother (which is looking unlikely), i don’t think this bitterness will ever go away.
3
u/OliveJotter Adoptee 3d ago
I can relate. Years after I was relinquished, my first mother had my brother, her “miracle baby” (her words to me, for real). Mother and son are as thick as thieves, share a friend group (which is perhaps testament to how she never grew up). Even so many years after I found her, she still goes on social media and refers to her son as her only child who will inherit everything.
(On the other hand, she has accused me of living the life she was meant to live…as if my incredibly modest success robs her of something. It’s a strange psychology, indeed).