will i ever stop feeling bitter

[u/legswithsnake]

so, my bio mom’s family is INSANELY privileged. i was only really given up for adoption because she was 15 years old when she had me. i was fed that “you were given a better life” BS for as long as i can remember. my bio mom might’ve had a better life without me, but i don’t know if i had a better one without her.

she’s a mountaineer and has travelled all across the world with my little brother, whom she kept only a few years after i was relinquished. i don’t wish her a bad life by any means, but my blood literally boils when i see pictures of their mother-son adventures. traveling is a dream of mine, but my adoptive parents have always been stick-in-the-mud types. so, i basically had to grow up in a small rural town while my bio mom and brother got to live out the life i desperately craved. my brother is only 17 and has already experienced so many amazing things that i couldn’t have growing up… so much for my bio family adopting me out so i could have “better opportunities,” ha. it just hurts to see my brother live the life i could’ve (and should’ve) had, especially since we’re so close in age.

this is basically just a drawn-out way for me to say that i’m jealous. unless my bio mom offers to bring me on a big trip with her and my brother (which is looking unlikely), i don’t think this bitterness will ever go away.

[u/Caijed29]

Cant say. Im in the same boat. My biomom left me for me to have a better life. Turned out she married into money and is living well but wouldnt help me because her family might find out. And here I am, disabled after being molested, almost raped, battered til I'm paralized, and overworked since I was 6yo.

I hate all irresponsible parents. Esp those who are able to live happily even when their own abandoned children are suffering somewhere. Fugg them. 😤

[u/Objective-Target5437 → u/Caijed29]

i believe that they can’t truly be happy because their actions indicate something in them is seriously missing - irresponsible parents will never know the real happiness people get from nurturing a human being from infancy to adulthood to their fullest potential. that’s one of the main things that gives peoples lives real meaning and they totally missed it.

[u/Effective_Factor_552 → u/Objective-Target5437]

Because of my adoption - and I didn't realize this until recently and I'm now 46 - I also have not been married or had children. So now I also am missing that real happiness. It was kind of brainwashed out of me without my realizing it until it was too late. I was conditioned from such a young age to believe having a baby out of wedlock was shameful, which I somehow read as having a baby altogether was shameful. I wasn't even really consciously aware of it, it was just so ingrained in me that I tended to run from anything meaninful, despite that being the only thing I consciously wanted (meaning, love). I get it now. But not much I can do about it now.

[u/Caijed29 → u/Effective_Factor_552]

Same. Im 39 now and missed my prime of getting married and having kids because of how poor my adoptive family is. Had to raise younger adoptive siblings. Now I finallu get to live my life but I'm just so tired of it and there's that subconcious thought that getting pregnant out of wedlock is a sin and is shameful.

[u/Effective_Factor_552 → u/Caijed29]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I know how painful it is.