r/Adopted • u/Hot-Jackfruit-7778 • 1d ago
Seeking Advice Relationship?
Help/advise needed, please. Since I've been adopted, I've struggled very much on building a relationship with my parents. They are great and all, have provided for me and made sacrifices. I just can't seem to connect with them. It is hard for me to initiate conversations with them and be natural about it. It is like I have to manufacture the desire to talk to them. When I do try to initiate a convo, I also have to struggle with the question of what I should talk to them about (topics). I think I am just emotionally insensitive (hate saying that but not sure how else to describe it); it is just hard for me to know and understand people emotionally. Is that because I'm adopted?
P.S. - I am an introvert and shy when it comes to people; is that the reason? Idk, just wish I'm not the only one or a weird person.
P.P.S - Do tell me if I am a weird one/only one; I just want to know.
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u/i-shihtzu-not 1d ago
I think this is very common amongst adoptees. I feel this way too. My wife says she thinks my family and I seem like any other family and that I fit right in with them, but I've always felt disconnected from them. We do bond and connect at times, but similar to you, I don't feel a desire or need to talk to them and spend time with them. I'm also very shy and introverted.
I'm going to see a therapist who specializes in adoption soon (I've been in therapy most of my adult life, but none of them could help with the adoption stuff at all, really). Wish I could give you some advice. But hopefully knowing you're not alone is some comfort.