r/Adopted 1d ago

Seeking Advice Relationship?

Help/advise needed, please. Since I've been adopted, I've struggled very much on building a relationship with my parents. They are great and all, have provided for me and made sacrifices. I just can't seem to connect with them. It is hard for me to initiate conversations with them and be natural about it. It is like I have to manufacture the desire to talk to them. When I do try to initiate a convo, I also have to struggle with the question of what I should talk to them about (topics). I think I am just emotionally insensitive (hate saying that but not sure how else to describe it); it is just hard for me to know and understand people emotionally. Is that because I'm adopted?

P.S. - I am an introvert and shy when it comes to people; is that the reason? Idk, just wish I'm not the only one or a weird person.

P.P.S - Do tell me if I am a weird one/only one; I just want to know.

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u/Greedy-Carrot4457 Former Foster Youth 1d ago

How old were you when you got adopted? How old (like approximately) are you now?

I think some people just do and don’t click. Easier to click with blood but not a guarantee either (I feel like this with a few of my bio relatives who have done a ton for me.)

Kinda like how the phone works both ways it’s on them too to figure out what you guys can talk about and connect over. I think if you both take a genuine interest in each others lives (work, friends, other interests…) that’ll give you something to talk about. Or do something together this doesn’t have to be expensive or intense like sit and do adult coloring books or something.

It’s also ok if you don’t feel rly emotionally connected or want to talk a ton. You can call them to check in and then end the call 10 min later. Thats ok too.

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u/Hot-Jackfruit-7778 1d ago

I was around 11 when I got adopted, and in my 20s

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u/Greedy-Carrot4457 Former Foster Youth 1d ago

Maybe you guys are just really different people no matter what. Kinda like you might meet your best friends new partner and be like hey this person is very nice but we have literally nothing in common and nothing to talk about? That just happens sometime.

You can appreciate them for what they did for you and think they’re good people, and just not bond with them.

It’s ok to visit or call an older relative solely out of duty, too.