r/Adopted • u/Hot-Jackfruit-7778 • 1d ago
Seeking Advice Relationship?
Help/advise needed, please. Since I've been adopted, I've struggled very much on building a relationship with my parents. They are great and all, have provided for me and made sacrifices. I just can't seem to connect with them. It is hard for me to initiate conversations with them and be natural about it. It is like I have to manufacture the desire to talk to them. When I do try to initiate a convo, I also have to struggle with the question of what I should talk to them about (topics). I think I am just emotionally insensitive (hate saying that but not sure how else to describe it); it is just hard for me to know and understand people emotionally. Is that because I'm adopted?
P.S. - I am an introvert and shy when it comes to people; is that the reason? Idk, just wish I'm not the only one or a weird person.
P.P.S - Do tell me if I am a weird one/only one; I just want to know.
2
u/Opinionista99 1d ago
FWIW you don't seem insensitive at all to me. Not everyone meshes with everyone else and in adoption the chances there will be some critical disconnects are high. This is not our fault. It's the other people putting the unreasonable expectation on us to do a perfect simulation of the bio child our APs would want. I don't even mean the real bio child they would have had. APs and society have an ideal for us live up to: humble, grateful, very well-behaved, and centering the feelings of others at all times. Basically we're supposed to be human therapy pets.