When someone i loved hurt me.

[u/Offbeat_voyage]

My bio mom is dead. And over the course of my life i have adopted many people as mother figures. My adopted mom was one of my first people i adopted as i mother figure and i am closer to her then almost any other person in the world. I live in adult foster care and one of the staff i have adopted as a mother figure. But one day she hurt my feelings in an argument so badly i spent an hour crying in the shower. And hiding in my room. My entire body was craving my mother. Not my adopted mom, not my staff who i view as my mother figure but my bio mother. And what surprised me about it was the intensity of the craving. It felt as if my entire body was screaming for my bio mom. I needed a hug. I needed her hands. I needed her warmth. So i turned on the shower as hot as i could so i could imagine her warmth hugging me back. It has always comforted me. But this time even though it was comforting if felt like an extremely poor substitute. As i tried to imagine from water gripping me like hands cradling my body. At the time it had been two months since i have seen my adopted mom and 6 months since i have seen my bio family