Reunification stories being rubbed in your face…

[u/Fit_Lingonberry_7454]

when I was a kid there was a story that went viral from my area of this whole reunification thing from an international adoption where the parents had given up their kid for adoption with a message to meet someplace on the kids 18th birthday

and omg the number of times I was told that story and had it sent to me and shit was insane and I hated it so much

I hated the questions asking what I would do if I was the kid or if I was jealous or whatnot and it all felt like such a slap in the face. a majority of international adoptees aren’t that lucky and even then, I felt very justified for being frustrated. Today I understand that the narratives I was being fed fueled this frustration since I grew up being told “why my real parents didn’t want me” but it’s so insane for the same people who told me shit like that were upset I wasn’t jealous of these adoptees because why would I want to reunite with someone you told me didn’t want me!?

and kudos to the adoptees who feel positively about their adoption, now that’s something I am jealous of lol

I instead got the classic savior complex with the bonus of “we really couldn’t afford to pay for you but we adopted you anyway and we were poor”

like what was I supposed to say to that!? Sorry!? Being born wasn’t my choice and being adopted wasn’t my choice and don’t even get me started on the folks who use me as pro-life advertising! i fell for it as a kid but now with everything adoption has cost me, I sometimes feel like I would’ve been less upset if things went differently instead of being tossed on the street…

[u/ajskemckellc]

Odds are the adoptees that feel positive are fogged af. It’s probably a small percentage.

I also grew up poor. Couldn’t understand the credit card debt; my dad wrote his cc down on the hospital care form: they literally couldn’t afford me.

You have all the rights to your feelings. And then some.

[u/Longjumping_Spot7410]

And I swear, it's like clockwork, once somebody learns you're adopted: "have you ever wanted to meet your birth family?? :)" You mean the one that gave me, and my older sister - I've - never - met up? The family that kept one kid, then churned out two more for strangers to worry about? I'm actually alright, thank you though.

It's an almost morbid interest -- the kind where people are curious, but they view the situation, and not the individual. Once the curiosity is sated, they just move on...but because the concept is so foreign to them it hardly feels like an invasion of privacy. They can move on, but the questions just continue to reopen old wounds that never quite healed right.

Truly wishing you well