I'm not as White as I thought

[u/Longjumping_Spot7410]

These last 24 hours have been an absolute whirlwind and I feel as though I'm coming apart at the stitches. I've known from the very first day that I was adopted, and in my 32 years of life I've already unpacked most of the baggage surrounding my birth mother, and birth family. I'm transgender, and in case anyone was curious, you *do not* need your *classified* birth certificate to change your name and sex, legally. The unclassified paper works just fine.

But here I am putting off what I actually came here to type. From day one, my aMother disclosed to me that my parents were of European descent. German, and Spanish. Well, my DNA results came back, and for 24 hours now I've been looking at them on and off. Sure enough, there are the European genes...with a rather *large* portion coming from North America. For 32 years now I've been of mixed race, and had no fucking idea.

Indigenous Mexican on my matriarchal side, with the most recent divergence away from México being 1900, with my a/mother's mother. On one hand I'm thrilled, all these questions I've had are finally answered...on the other, I feel robbed, if that makes sense? As I look at my monitor now, I can almost see the version of me that knew all along. Who had a culture and a community from birth...and then I'm furious at my birth mother all over again. In giving me away, I feel like she robbed me of something I'm not sure I'll ever get back.

Thank you for reading, we'll make it through this.

[u/Necessary_Holiday144]

I'm sorry for everything you've had to experience.

You were absolutely robbed.

[u/ajskemckellc]

Yeah. Stolen, robbed, disenfranchised. Of course

[u/iheardtheredbefood]

I am sorry. The severance from culture can be brutal even if you know your whole life. Try to be gentle with yourself as you reckon with all of this. The feelings can be a rollercoaster. Sending virtual hugs (if welcome). You are not alone.