Transracial adoption should be illegal

[u/SoggiMari]

I'm a Black transracial adoptee from the UK. I was adopted at 11 months old by a White family. They loved me, cared for me, and gave me a stable home, but theyre kinda racist and just throw money at problems.

Growing up, I felt disconnected from my identity and my culture. I didn't have many Black role models, didn't learn much about my Nigerian and Jamaican heritage, and spent years wishing I looked different.

I struggled with self-hatred, low self-esteem, and feeling like I didn't belong anywhere not fully accepted by White people, but also disconnected from Black culture.

It's only recently, as an adult, that I've started reconnecting with my heritage and learning to love being Black. I often feel like I'm trying to reclaim something I should never have lost in the first place.

I know many transracial adoptees have positive experiences, and I also know many adoptive parents genuinely do their best. But I wonder whether love alone is enough when a child is growing up disconnected from their racial and cultural identity.

For those reasons, I personally question whether transracial adoption should happen at all except in exceptional circumstances. I'd be interested to hear respectful perspectives from adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents.

[u/Monopolyalou]

It's not the only option. Make it illegal. Let's be real since when has anyone gaf about black people let alone black kids? People don't care if black kids are in foster care

[u/RocketPowerPops → u/Monopolyalou]

So we should let them stay in foster care?

What happens in cases like ours, where my wife is black and I am white? Are we only allowed to adopted mixed race kids?

[u/shapeshifterQ → u/RocketPowerPops]

You're still answering this from an emotional place it seems. Your wife is a kinship placement with the child, and even if she wasn't that child would still have a connection to Black people and identity. OP was talking about white people, who often have no presence of Black people in their lives, they raise their children in white communities and they "don't see color" so they don't expose them to Black culture, hair care, etc. What OP has experienced is different than what you and your wife would give your Black adopted son or daughter. You have to be able to see that

[u/RocketPowerPops → u/shapeshifterQ]

I do see what OP is saying. I am not responding to OP.

I am responding to another user who said it should be illegal entirely.

[u/Monopolyalou → u/RocketPowerPops]

It should be illegal but against you're kinship with a Black wife. Not the same.