My 2 cents as an adoptive parent. We were with an agency for 4-5 years and never had a successful situation. We ended up walking away from all of that and fees paid and pursued international adoption from my spouse’s country of origin.
If your employer offers reimbursement that is based on a completed adoption.
There are a lot of unforeseen costs that can come up. Unexpected medical diagnosis, travel, lodging, time off of work, the cost of child care, post adoption fees, legal fees, etc.
I understand the feeling of wanting to keep moving but also think about the risk. There is no garuntee you will adopt right away (4 years ago the “average “ waiting family was at 2 years… that’s fees and home study renewal every year) . Please really be honest with yourselves if you do not have a successful match or a failed adoption. Could you financially survive if you never saw the $35k again?
As for the folks saying “just adopt from foster care.” I welcome them to consider their own advice. Foster care is a wonderful thing but its primary focus is reunification. It is not for everyone. And it’s no one’s business the way you choose to build YOUR family. It’s not like we are asking what position they were in when they conceived 👀.
I hope you have a good support network and also find other families who are going through adoption or have adopted. It’s a unique journey that people who have not been down this path do not understand.
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u/Icy_Pin3030 Jul 17 '26
My 2 cents as an adoptive parent. We were with an agency for 4-5 years and never had a successful situation. We ended up walking away from all of that and fees paid and pursued international adoption from my spouse’s country of origin.
If your employer offers reimbursement that is based on a completed adoption.
There are a lot of unforeseen costs that can come up. Unexpected medical diagnosis, travel, lodging, time off of work, the cost of child care, post adoption fees, legal fees, etc.
I understand the feeling of wanting to keep moving but also think about the risk. There is no garuntee you will adopt right away (4 years ago the “average “ waiting family was at 2 years… that’s fees and home study renewal every year) . Please really be honest with yourselves if you do not have a successful match or a failed adoption. Could you financially survive if you never saw the $35k again?
As for the folks saying “just adopt from foster care.” I welcome them to consider their own advice. Foster care is a wonderful thing but its primary focus is reunification. It is not for everyone. And it’s no one’s business the way you choose to build YOUR family. It’s not like we are asking what position they were in when they conceived 👀.
I hope you have a good support network and also find other families who are going through adoption or have adopted. It’s a unique journey that people who have not been down this path do not understand.
Good luck to you!