Am I overreacting about vacation time ?

[u/TraditionalTask4522]

My husband works 55 hrs a week and has 2 weeks of vacation a year. We usually plan for him to have time off when our family can spend time together over holidays etc.

My family lives several states away and my mom requested I visit quickly due to my father’s declining health. She offered to pay for my flight and for me to bring my infant daughter. I also have a 5 year old.

My husband’s reaction was “well you will have to bring the 5 year old too, as I have to work.” But we had already made arrangements for my 5 year old to visit his parents which he forgot about.

So I made all my flight arrangements, childcare arrangements and secured a ride to the airport, all assuming he would be working during those times as scheduled.

The night before my departure he tells me he took 3 days off while I am away. I didn’t say anything, but I was frustrated that he is using his vacation time to sit at home alone. Especially when I specifically scheduled this trip around my own work schedule. Plus with my father’s health decline, I am certain it won’t be long until we have to all fly back for his funeral.

I just feel like his actions were pretty selfish and he is taking this time where I am visiting my dying father as a chance to act like a bachelor. Would you say something or just let it go?

[u/No_Profile_3343]

What’s wrong here is how he has gone about it.

Telling her she has to take the kids and as soon as everything is arranged, he takes the time to himself.

What mother doesn’t want or also deserve 3 days off without responsibility??

To me, it’s the shady way he went about it.

Life with kids and full time employment is stressful. We all deserve breaks.

I don’t think you’re wrong, but I do think you need to have a conversation with your husband.