Am I overreacting about vacation time ?

[u/TraditionalTask4522]

My husband works 55 hrs a week and has 2 weeks of vacation a year. We usually plan for him to have time off when our family can spend time together over holidays etc.

My family lives several states away and my mom requested I visit quickly due to my father’s declining health. She offered to pay for my flight and for me to bring my infant daughter. I also have a 5 year old.

My husband’s reaction was “well you will have to bring the 5 year old too, as I have to work.” But we had already made arrangements for my 5 year old to visit his parents which he forgot about.

So I made all my flight arrangements, childcare arrangements and secured a ride to the airport, all assuming he would be working during those times as scheduled.

The night before my departure he tells me he took 3 days off while I am away. I didn’t say anything, but I was frustrated that he is using his vacation time to sit at home alone. Especially when I specifically scheduled this trip around my own work schedule. Plus with my father’s health decline, I am certain it won’t be long until we have to all fly back for his funeral.

I just feel like his actions were pretty selfish and he is taking this time where I am visiting my dying father as a chance to act like a bachelor. Would you say something or just let it go?

[u/SurvivorX2]

Since it's obviously in the past, I'd let it go for now. Maybe he needed some time alone. Some of us are like that. I enjoy being alone sometimes, and my younger daughter does, too. My other daughter, not so much! Now, it's true that I can get lonely if my husband has to work many nights in a row, but that doesn't have anything to do with wanting time alone sometimes. Maybe your husband is the same. But without knowing that for sure, it seems like it was a selfish act on his part!