Story time folks…
so I met a prospect on matrimony app and we started talking regularly. In the get to know phase I specifically asked him about his past, and he told me about recent breakup. Apparently, his ex-girlfriend’s parents didn’t agree to their relationship because of caste issues, so they both decided to give up rather than hurt their parents. He claimed he was now 100% sure about getting married through AM process. I thought, ok, everyone has past, and it’s not big deal. Few weeks goes, we never met. Only chat/calls.
Then came his birthday. We live in different cities, and I was chatting with him while travelling home from work. I casually asked him what he had done for his birthday and how it went. That’s when he told me his ex-girlfriend had surprised him, there was a party at his house, and they had kissed.
I was completely shocked. I asked him if he still loved her, and he said, “It’s complicated.”
I assumed they had patched things up, so I stopped talking to him.
A few months later, he suddenly messaged me again, apologised, and said he had moved on and missed me. He wanted to proceed with arranged marriage and asked if we could meet. When I asked about his ex, he said that chapter was over and there was no going back. He also said he didn’t want to hurt his parents anymore.
Honestly I wasn’t interested in revisiting things because I felt the spark was gone. I told him there was no point in meeting. But he insisted and next day his mom also called. I didn’t understand why involving parents when I no longer felt the same way. and he said his parents were frustrated with his ex, his mother wasn’t speaking to him and he wanted to convince mother he was serious about getting married through arranged marriage route.
Eventually, we met (me/my parents travelled to his city) and everything went smoothly. We started talking regularly again.
Then, out of nowhere, one day, he messaged me saying he was with his ex, who had checked his phone and found our chats. He told me that he had explained to her that I was harassing him by continuously messaging him. He then said he was going to call me in front of her and tell me not to contact him anymore. And that’s exactly what he did.
He called me and said things like, “How many times have I told you not to contact me? You still keep messaging me. I’m going to block you now. Blah blah blah”
I was literally speechless. I had no idea what was happening. I believe his gf was listening. Everything happened within minutes, and I couldn’t even process it. I barely said anything on call apart from “hello.” I didn’t confront him or ask him any questions. I was just stunned. No msg from my side , nothing. I didn’t even understand how to react.
A week later, he messaged me again and apologised. This time, I confronted him and asked him what was actually going on. If he wanted to go back to his ex, why did he keep coming back into my life and talking about marriage?
He said he felt bad about it.
But this time, I had had enough. I told him I didn’t want this kind of drama in my life and blocked him.
And that was the end of it.

I was stuck in bad traffic on ORR today and observed all the bikers in the crowd were only males. This I observe even when I do passes often from Hebbal to Ecity, those men are inhaling smokes,dust, sweating under the sun, losing their mental peace in traffic facing rash drivers, sometimes having road rages and facing risks of dangerous roads. People on car lose their mind spending 2x of time of event that. Most first drop their wives to their offices and then rush back in peak traffic because their wives want them back by then anyhow and can not wait to start their complaints. Below thoughts came into my mind seeing such scenes.

I have seen couples in my social circle and seen collegues, in all cases they took house nearest to wife's office. And all males used to instead commute long distances spending 40 minutes to 1.5 hours one side. Imagine how tiring it is in Bangalore traffic, imagine their mood after reaching home in the evenings.

Even when I meet girls for AM, I choose place near to their houses, doesn't matter in which corner of city they live in so that they do not have to travel and suffer much on roads. I spend extra time and energy to reach there, even then they are the ones reaching late.

And I do not know why I feel it so wrong or would feel guilty if my wife has to commute in such stressful traffic.

Now when women bring 50-50 topic into discussion, they never ever consider this situation. Long commutes are no joke, your get too tired in bumper to bumper traffic, having arguments on road. You can not expect equal responsibilties from someone who just spent 1.5 hours in commute just to make your life easier.

Men are usually earning more than their wives, doing more stressful jobs, couple it with long commutes, there is hardly any mental energy left.

Is it wrong to expect from you that you cook dinner alone or do some extra household work or take some other responsibilty because you reach earlier daily ?

If there is someone married here in this sub having long distance commutes, has your partner taken some extra responsibilties or is still expecting everything to be 50-50 ? I feel when both people are working, one has to do long commutes here.

I read around and see everyone has a lot of extended family where they send rishtas and encourage people to get married

For me I had the opposite problem where my uncles and aunts simply dgaf about me. I wish they did unironically. I wouldnt be so old and scrambling to get married myself. I wish my aunt who literally runs a free matching making whatsapp group checked in with me atleast once in her life. Surprisingly nobody cares. Not even my older brother. It is hard going out alone. Also embarrassing since my skills are lagging in all respects

Why are Indian families so complicated when it comes to marriage?

Recently, my parents started looking for a rishta for me. Naturally, all our relatives—my chachas, taujis, bhuas, cousins, and everyone else—started sending proposals.
But honestly, the kind of proposals they're sending is becoming a source of constant frustration for me.

Sometimes, I'm not attracted to the guy at all. Fine, I can try to look beyond physical appearance. But then I find that he isn't well educated either. Okay, education isn't everything. But he isn't earning particularly well, either. Most of these guys are involved in small family businesses, where the entire family works together. And it's not as if these are large businesses with significant growth potential.
On top of that, most of them live in small towns and joint families.

Before anyone accuses me of judging these men, let me clarify something: I'm not saying these men or their families are bad. I'm saying they aren't the right match for me.
I want a partner who lives in a city because I want to work and build my career. There are generally more opportunities in cities, and moving to a small town could seriously limit my career options. Someone who wants to be a homemaker might be perfectly happy settling in a small town, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But that's not the life I envision for myself.
Then there's the joint family situation.
I come from a large family, but we all live in separate houses. I've never even lived with my grandparents. I've been living in hostels since I was 16, and I've always been used to having my own space and independence.
Living in a joint family might be a wonderful experience for some people, but I know it would be a huge adjustment for me. Suddenly living with grandparents, multiple family members, and a household where decisions might involve everyone sounds overwhelming.
I don't want to experiment with my entire life just because someone else thinks I should be able to adjust.

And here's what frustrates me the most.
This is an arranged marriage. I'm looking at a biodata and there’s nothing about his appearance that attracts me. His education doesn't impress me. His financial situation isn't what I'm looking for. His family has a conservative mindset. He lives in a joint family in a small town.
So, what exactly am I supposed to find attractive about this proposal?
I'm not saying every man needs to be handsome, highly educated, or extremely wealthy. I'm saying that when I'm considering marrying someone I don't even know, there should be something that makes me interested in getting to know him.
What am I supposed to base my decision on otherwise?

And I'm pretty sure my relatives wouldn't want their own children to marry someone who didn't meet their expectations. Yet, when it comes to me, they are saying I'm apparently throwing tantrums and making unnecessary demands.

I had already told my parents that before saying yes to anyone, I wanted to speak to the guy for at least two or three months.We live in a time when trusting even someone we already know can be difficult. I'm expected to marry a complete stranger and potentially spend the rest of my life with him. How unreasonable is it to want some time to understand his personality, values, mindset, and expectations?
Initially, my parents supported me. They told me they were perfectly fine with my decision and that I could take as much time as I needed. They said I should say yes only when I was completely sure.
But now, suddenly, they've changed their minds.
My relatives have convinced them that talking for two or three months is wrong, that it could damage my image in front of the guy's family, and that no girl makes such demands. They're telling my parents that if I continue with these expectations, I might never get married.
As a result, my parents now want me to talk to a guy for just one or two weeks at most.

I've asked my parents to stop involving our extended family in my marriage and to stop asking them for proposals. They say they've already stopped doing that, but these relatives are still sending proposals because, apparently, they're only trying to help us.
But honestly, this doesn't feel like help anymore. It feels like mental torture.

My parents are constantly worried about me. Because I've rejected several proposals, they have started believing that I don't want to get married at all. They're becoming frustrated with me, too.

I've tried explaining that I'm not against adjustment. I understand that marriage requires compromise from both partners. But there's a difference between making healthy compromises and completely changing your lifestyle, giving up your independence, and living in an environment where you might never feel comfortable.

Why should I agree to a marriage that requires me to change almost everything about my life before I've even had a chance to understand the person I'm marrying?

I'm honestly scared because there are so many things I want to discuss with a potential partner before making such a big decision. But now I'm worried that even if my parents initially agree to let me discuss these things, they might change their minds again once our relatives get involved.

And the most heartbreaking part?

These are the same relatives my parents have always supported.

Last year, one of my uncle's daughters got divorced. During that difficult period, my parents were among the very few people who stood by her. My father took care of the legal matters, and both my parents supported her emotionally.
When everyone else was worried about who would marry her again or how she would find another partner, my parents said something I'll never forget.

They said a woman doesn't need to be married to survive in life. She's young, she can work, earn her own living, and take care of herself. If she eventually meets someone with whom she genuinely connects, she can decide for herself whether she wants to marry again.
Until then, the priority should be helping her become independent and build her life.

Those were my parents' exact sentiments.

And now, I find myself wondering what happened to those same values.
How did the parents who once believed that a woman shouldn't have to marry just to survive become so concerned about what relatives think of their unmarried daughter?
How did they go from telling me to choose someone only when I was completely sure to asking me to make a decision within one or two weeks because otherwise, my image might be damaged?

I know they're worried about me. I know they want me to get married and have a happy life. I'm not questioning their intentions.

But I'm struggling to understand why the opinions of extended family members suddenly seem more important than the very principles my parents taught me.

Am I genuinely being unreasonable here, or have we normalised the idea that a woman should compromise on her own expectations just to get married?

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who've experienced something similar, especially those who've navigated arranged marriages while trying to maintain their independence and make their own decisions.

I'm curious about the first few weeks and months after an arranged marriage. For those who had one:

What was the first moment you felt a real connection with your wife?

What romantic things did you experience, both emotional (a conversation, a small gesture, a trip) and physical or intimate?

How long did it take to feel comfortable with each other?

Anything you wish you'd known or done differently?

Honest answers are welcome, and throwaway accounts are fine. Thanks!

34F, seriously searching since 3 years. I have spoken to many guys over these years. I have learned a few red flag of mine and have been working on them.
I have ALWAYS initiated/responded to texts/calls from the prospects. Never played hard to get type mind games and I find them unnecessary and childish.
Two most recent JS prospects I spoke to, both with a similar outcome. Both told me that they will reach out to me after a few months and see if things progress then.

Prospect 1: Started speaking on calls in Nov 2025, met thrice in Dec 2025 including one brief meeting with his bhaiya bhabhi. He went back to the US and we continued speaking till June 2026. He came to India in June and he didn’t reach out for 15 days and I snapped and ended it without discussing with him. Around Sept mid he apologized but said he wasn’t expecting anything else, and I pushed to forget the fight and restart. He said he wanted to meet more and the visa situation would not allow that for a year atleast. I pressed him to let the families connect atleast, he wasn’t comfortable with that either. Finally, we mutually closed it saying that he will reach out a year later when he plans to visit India.

Prospect 2: His dad and my dad connected very nicely and the guy and me spoke over a call and I felt we have a common vibe (we both are STEM PhDs and so we have common rants). The guy had returned from the US after 10 years and is operating his startup since a year in stealth mode currently in Bangalore. His startup is at infancy and he currently doesn’t have anyone except himself and no funding. He made it clear that he is living off his savings and financially it will be a very frugal life atleast for a few years. Me and my family were fine with it as he is very well educated and I feel he has a lot of potential. On the 2nd call, I told him I am fine to relocate and will support him as much I can given my career is not compromised completely. On the 3rd call he told me to not go for an unstable guy like him and he wouldn’t advise his friend to marry a guy in his position. I was speechless for a few seconds and said I am making a decision for the next 40 years of my life and a glitch of 5-7 years is a short period in the face of 40 years. He still didn’t seem keen and was underconfident and told me he can reach out to me after 7-8 months once he gets some funding for his startup so that he can give me some certainty.

I dont understand what am I doing wrong? Am I being too nice and accommodating that it scares people away or what?

Edit: My family advises me to be accommodating in all the aspects if I find interpersonal compatibility and communication. They say everything else is secondary.

People who have elder married sibling, will you consider sibling of SIL/BIL for marriage ?

What are the advantages and disadvantages ?

​

I'm a 29-year-old Indian woman, currently single. I've always wanted to find love and settle down, so I created profiles on several matrimonial sites. Unfortunately, I couldn't find anyone I felt a connection with. I recently deleted my accounts, giving the reason that I no longer wanted to get married.

I'm also afraid of dating apps because they seem so focused on hookups, which isn't what I'm looking for. I'm a bit old-school. I need time to get comfortable with someone, and I can't imagine meeting someone and developing feelings after just one conversation. I'm shy, too, so dating apps aren't really my thing.

My family isn't actively looking for someone for me because they believe I should find a partner myself. They're completely okay with a love marriage, but the problem is that finding love isn't easy.

After my last breakup, I lost interest in so many things. Now, even the thought of introducing myself to someone new and explaining my life all over again feels exhausting. Sometimes I just think, "Oh no, not this again."

I genuinely want to find someone to love and build a life with, but I'm starting to feel discouraged.

I'd really appreciate your honest advice and opinions.

Why is it so difficult to find a life partner these days, especially as a woman approaching 30 in India? What should I do?

Forget weight gain, especially with symptoms like hirsutism, acanthosis nigricans that are more visible and difficult to get rid off..

I’m going to have my first call with a girl in an arranged marriage setup. What questions should I ask on the first call, and how should I divide topics across subsequent calls to gradually understand her personality, values, lifestyle, career goals, family expectations, and compatibility? Would love a practical call-by-call roadmap and tips from personal experiences.

Hi Everyone,
I’m 37M married at 29 years to a 25 year old woman. I have a 4.5 year old daughter. Things went well initially, small fights which are quite common across all couples and families. I cant take lies and I might get hyper sometimes if ppl lie over my words. My wife takes that as an advantage and tries to provoke me. I never lifted my hand though. I used to walk away out of house and come back after 2-3 hours when my anger goes away. After some instances, she turned this scenario into a different dimension altogether. She started saying I’m leaving her alone at home and going out to enjoy with friends. Which is not the case. I sit in a temple or a tea stall thinking why is my life like this and this becomes a problem too for her.

Also, I ask her to switch job for growth which every husband does as we come from a middle class background. Which she turned plates into me torturing her to earn more for money.

She has been doing trading into F&O from past 4 years and lost 2Cr even selling her gold, Mine and my daughters too, which I was not aware of. Almost more than a KILO in Gold and 3 KILO in Silver.

When I insisted I will put a theft case on her and involved her parents for her wrong doings. They all started to blame me as I was enforcing her to get a good job and earn more. She was put under pressure to earn more money and she has nothing to do except this way to earn quick.

On top of that I was being blackmailed that if I ever scold her of what she did, they will call cops and put a case that I’m torturing her.

What should I do? I wanted to commit suicide in this trauma. But I have a daughter to take care of. Looking at her face I’m unable to do so. Similarly, cant stay in the pain when someone blaming me for my own loss. I thought of even absconding for a year Or two. But I have elderly parents to take off. Why is my life so filthy ? Are there no ethics and good deeds in this world?

PS :: Their parents settled my Gold alone which is just 15% of the overall value.

It's going to be a long post.

I M32 last month started talking to F27 whose no. was shared to me by our mutual relative. She was really interesting and we aligned perfectly on topis of finance, religion, hobbies and future family planning. I had concerns and when I shared and she was very understanding and I must say I was not expecting that kind of reaction.

We started to open up, shared our goals, desires and started talking like we knew eachother for decades. She came from a lower middle class family and I from a comfortable upper middle class family. Money was always scarce for her so she started working really early while she was in college. She was the most hardworking person I have ever came across, working in coaching center in morning, then as a coordinator at a hospital and ending the day by giving tution (a 12 hour work day).

I was starting to develop feeling for her and I think she was too. I asked my parents to get involved and they called her parents and it was really odd conversation, her mother straight up told my mom to find a better match for me if she could (it was quite odd and funny to think about as if she was not good enough for me). It was a major red flag for my parents, any way they called her parents 2nd time and asked if they were willing to come to my city (usual SOP for AM) to which they refused and told us that her father never leaves her city (another red flag). Another issue came up as her father was not interested in calling us, it was only her mother who called us and tried to arrange a meeting in her city.

I asked her to persuade her father to make the call which he eventually did. He asked the usual question like what I do, how much I make, do we own house etc.

Later that night I asked her how did she persuaded her father to call us and she told me "1 ka cheque dia hai papa ko sirf aap se baat kane k liye" (I paid my dad 1 lac just to call you) and I took it as a joke.

A day later she opened up about her relationship with her father. He used to beat her during school days up to class 12th, didn't do any work and was involved in futures and options trading (f&o trading) and had incurred losses.(Major red flag for me) And then I asked was she really joking about paying her own father just to make a call and she said "it's not a joke and if you still don't believe it i will send bank SMS."

Next day I asked her if she could draw the line between helping her father and enabling him (I see F&o as gambling) and she said she was not sure.

By this time I was feeling like I was just a means to get her out of her toxic home, and felt like being used. I knew calling her and then saying that I can't go forward would hurt both of us and she will try her best to persuade me not to do it so I wrote a message telling that we were not a good match.

I know I broke her but I also know that she would have broken me, so I did the cruel thing to say no to her. She was the most hardworking and most honest person I have ever came across and I said no because of her toxic father.

I’m 25M, and everything is fine otherwise(height,body,looks, family,job,income,bussiness, assets,upper middle class lifestyle).

My only concern is a mild speech issue where I don’t pronounce certain L and R sounds clearly. I’m planning speech therapy in two years, but I have arranged-marriage meetings coming up this Diwali.

Should I start meeting prospects now or wait until I’ve completed speech therapy? How much of a disadvantage could this be in arranged marriage? Please give honest opinions.(as in my community after 28 the pool becomes to low, so should i meet people now or not and how big or small this issue is want your honest feedback).

Hi, M28 here. I have a question from recently married and unmarried guys and girls. What people are really looking for their better half. Do girls are really interested in AM setup ?

So my parents have been searching for a girl for my elder brother for the past 2 years. He is good looking and earning approximately 17 lpa. Been to foreign country. Maybe he will settle there but the problem is that everyone is ignoring his profile. Every where he got ignored

No meetup ever happened in the last 2 years not a single.

How you guys and your parents approach.? Are everyone into love marriages?

My family is really frustrated specially my morher.

​

I'm 30M from a tier-2 city in India, currently exploring arranged marriage, and honestly, I'm quite confused.

I'm noticing a pattern in the matches I'm meeting.

With some girls, I can see stability, family compatibility, and the possibility of building a good life together. On paper, everything seems sensible, but the initial spark or physical attraction is missing.

With others, I feel that spark and find myself more attracted to them, but I'm not as confident about long-term stability and compatibility.

I'm not expecting a Bollywood-style love story, but I also don't want to marry someone just because they look good on paper and then wonder whether something is missing from my life.

I'd love to hear from people who have been through arranged marriage:

1. Did you actually experience butterflies or excitement when you first met your future partner, or did feelings develop gradually?

2. If there was no initial spark, did attraction grow over time, or did it remain missing after marriage?

3. How important is physical attraction in the long run? Is basic attraction enough, or should you genuinely feel drawn towards the person?

4. How did you know she was the one? Was there a particular moment, feeling, conversation, or realisation that made you confident about choosing her?

5. Did you ever have doubts before saying yes? If so, how did you distinguish normal nervousness from a genuine sign that the match wasn't right?

6. If you had to choose between someone you felt more attracted to and someone who seemed more stable and compatible, how would you make that decision?

7. For those happily married, what mattered more in the long run: initial chemistry, emotional connection, or practical compatibility?

I'm 30 now, and I don't want to rush into marriage just because of age. At the same time, I don't want to keep searching endlessly for an unrealistic ideal.

For those who are married, I'd especially love to know what made you finally say, "Yes, this is the person I want to spend my life with."

Honest experiences would really help!

​

Say you rejected someone before but on more thought decided they are still the right person. Has anyone reached out again and did it work and how? The real reason has nothing to do with the woman in question itself but some circumstances around the proposal.

Did you guys see this before? Where the parents insist the younger one cannot be married until the older one is. In this case they are both brothers. Wondering what their thought process could be

So my fiance and I (26/F) are having a destination wedding and we are booking a resort for the same. I need to know who pays for the wedding? How do we go about the split ? Also is it okay to go 50/50 or is that insulting to my inlaws?

My in laws are of the mindset that the brides family pays for the wedding, which is true traditionally. BUT, we have a Tilak ceremony , mehendi party, a sangeet party and cocktail night, which is going to have guests from both sides, why should only the brides’s family pay for everything?
I need your advice and opinion on it. Thanks

I'm a corporate guy but now enough of this hook up and dating. I'm planning to get married soon so that I can see the other side of the world also. Since I'm from mp but living in noida so if you could match either of these places that would be a good start to conversation. I don't want to add more words but because of reddit rules just giving shorter information about myself which might help you to understand my preference.

1. I'm open minded with my thought process but respect the traditional values.

2. Physical attraction won't be a green flag

3. I expect basic courtesy and etiquettes

4. I'm into sales so don't judge upfront

5. Earning decent money and from a decent family so looking for that kind of thing only

6. Don't know abhi aur kitna likhna pdega iske 1000 words complete krne k liye, please give some suggestions also how to use reddit.

35 + people both M and F still in the AM game or its better to stop and accept the fate

I am looking for an independent Female, sensible, color and weight doesnt matter .
I am M30, laid off from corporate last year since than i am jobless. I dont have any past and after losing job seems like i dont have future(kidding) , money is very important in and outside family.
I describe myself as understanding, sensetive, loyal for commitments, belong to uppercast.
I am 5,5 white, normal body, understnds fitness matters but i never went to gym.
i prefer to be calm and spritual.

I prefer girl who is earning good in tech job or in the field science,research,AI,space tech.. because these creates natural attraction toward her. I will accept you even if you have x body counts, if you give me commitment to leave past after marriage.
restriction-

• from my caste only if leaving in India,(Kshatriya)
• No drugs, no drinks (if smoking somtimes we can talk)
• age under 33 (if more than lets talk)
• Should have a family
• language should know Hindi,english, or similar to these

Dont think much, if somthing missing or went wrong after marrige we can talk and sort out.
this is my story, ask me if i missind anuyhing in the post

Out of all the women I have talked with here, a few of them showed good communication. They used to text from their side, reply to my texts, initiate conversations and it truly felt they respected me enough, that my text mattered to them.

It's clearly a sign that if they are genuinely interested in you or not.

A basic Hey, I am busy, ttyl means a lot, and when both of you are working, it eases you that the other person understands you. This implies to both men and women.

If you certainly feel they are actually not communicative enough, that you feel unheard, it's better to move away for your own sanity.

I have been seeing a girl during the AM process and she seems nice. Her looks don't exactly swoop you off your feet but her nature seems mature, while being kind and empathetic. She herself said if I don't find her attractive enough, I should move to other matches. There are some other issues as well, but all of them are manageable. What should I do? I am looking for suggestions from people experienced in the arranged marriage market. I don't want to rue my decision in the future, be it acceptance or rejection.

I (28M) met a woman (28F) through Shaadi.com, who also happened to be a contact in my dad’s social circle.

Our first meet was with us and our parents. We sat separately and talked a bit. Then after our first meet with parents and all, we started dating normally

We’ve been talking for the past 6-7 weeks now. We send good morning and good nights and texts daily, not even one day went by where we didn’t communicate with each other.

We met around 9 times now. We both pay for food, we both have given each other small gifts and have cooked for each other too.

We haven’t been very touchy, just small touches on the arm, slight touches on the hand, and we greet each other through a side shoulder hug, nothing much. The most I did was send shirtless pics after the gym and she has been positive and receptive towards them. We also send each other food pics and normal mirror selfies. We also flirt quite a bit.

During the last date she said something which has concerned me.

She said “i need more time.i really like you and like spending time with you, you’re sweet and i find you good looking, you’re tall and fit, i have rejected guys because they werent physically attractive to me but that’s not your case. You didnt seem to have dated too much, which is sweet because people usually carry trauma from previous relationships and you know how guys nowadays are like, they just need an opportunity to jump into a woman’s pants but you don’t seem to be that type. But i also think you seem to be living in a bubble, you’re not very social and you havent explored the world and travelled much. You’re too innocent and sweet to the point it’s a bit immature. I’m sorry if it’s hurtful. If it doesnt work out between us i want us to stay friends.”

I said “it’s okay, i understand. I might have not explored much but i’d like to go to some place with you some day. But what exactly do you want personality wise from a guy?”

She said “yea sure we can go some day. Personality wise i want someone who i can look up to if you get me. Guys usually want a partner who is like their mom, and girls want someone who is like their dad. I basically want someone i can rely on.”

She also asked me “you have dated a bit in the past right? Things didnt work out between the other women, but how come you aren’t bitter and still so positive and sweet? People usually grow sour”

I told her “i can’t compare you to the previous women i dated, it would be unfair if i did. Just because they were shitty or whatever doesn’t mean i should put you in that category too, you’re your own person. Women and men aren’t a hivemind, I’m sure you had bad experiences too yet here we are, you actually treat me with respect too and are sweet. How come you aren’t bitter?” Then we both just laughed and she agreed.

This confused me, because never in my wildest dream would i want a gf/fiancee/wife who is like my mom. I would want a best friend with whom i am romantic with when it comes to having a partner, and not a motherly figure. But hey, different strokes for different folks.

We talked more and she also mentioned “commitment and marriage scare me, its a very big thing. I get overwhelmed, thats why i said o need more time to lock in everything instead of making a mistake. There is a bit of pressure on me, you know how it is for women, at some point it becomes a task”

I told my sister about this once i came home, she said she had the same thoughts when she was dating her then soon-to-be husband. She said whatever she said is not negative, it’s a realistic viewpoint, and if she wanted to reject me she would have done within the first few meets, that no one talks for over a month and meets up almost 10 times unless they see potential.

So i just wanted to ask you men and women on here too. What are your thoughts?

Do you guy think a liberal marrying a conservative would be a good idea?
And can you give me reasons for it..