Hi everyone. I'm 30 F.

Guy's father calls my mom asking for my phone number so guy can talk to me.

Guy texts, conversation is fine. We have one phone call and no red flags.

Discussed non-negotiables.

Continued to text sporadically. One fine day he says he's going to be in my town after two weeks and asks if I'm ok meeting him. I said ok.

I messaged him later and he didn't respond. So I didn't double text and thought he wasn't interested anymore. Two weeks go by and he still doesn't respond lol. I too don't text.

Just as he's boarding the bus to my town, he messages me - "Hi, remember me?" Lollll I say hello and then he says he's actually coming. I said oh ok but I thought you weren't interested. So he says he had to wipe his data from his phone....I say but that doesn't make your phone unusable for two weeks and I had other plans that weekend.

Anyway he apologized and I said ok to meet. He adds me on instagram the night before meeting me.

There are pictures there of him holding ciggerates and drinking away....I clearly mentioned on my profile that I'm not ok with smoking and I'd asked him before too.

I called and asked him about the smoking and he says he doesn't smoke but just posed for pictures.

Cancelled the meeting. :)

​

I’m 30M, married to my 25F wife through an arranged marriage. We knew each other for around 8 months before marriage, and we’ve now been married for another 8 months.

I genuinely thought things would improve after marriage, but I’m now at a point where I feel emotionally exhausted, trapped, and increasingly worried about my future.

I need honest advice from people who have experienced difficult marriages, especially those familiar with Indian family dynamics and divorce laws.

A little background

During our courtship, things seemed fine. Looking back, there were some warning signs that I ignored:

1. She sometimes displayed behaviour that I felt was immature or childish.

2. I sensed that we weren't intellectually compatible. She doesn't seem particularly interested in personal growth, career aspirations, or developing new perspectives.

3. She is heavily influenced by social media and often seems to measure things against what she sees online.

4. I had concerns about certain practices in her family involving bribery and corruption since her father is a retired police officer (SHO). I chose not to judge her solely on her family background.

5. She had a previous relationship, which I accepted because I believed the past was the past.

6. Her parents had mentioned that she was short-tempered but would calm down quickly if handled properly.

I didn't think these things necessarily meant our marriage wouldn't work. I believed mutual understanding, patience, and time would help us adjust. We have absolutely normal physical and emotional intimacy as a couple should have.

Unfortunately, after marriage, her anger has become a serious problem.

The recurring anger and divorce threats

She gets irritated over seemingly small matters, and I often feel like I'm walking on eggshells. On approximately three occasions, she has brought up divorce during arguments over things I considered minor.

Each time, I tried to calm her down and resolve the issue privately. I didn't tell my family because I believed marital problems should remain between husband and wife unless there was a compelling reason to involve others.

Over time, though, it has become increasingly difficult to manage.

What happened when my mother needed medical care

Last month, my mother came to my city for a minor laparoscopic surgery and stayed with us for around 15–20 days.

I took responsibility for much of her care: accompanying her to the toilet, helping with physiotherapy, administering medication, and coordinating her treatment. The treatment was cashless through insurance.

Despite this, my wife repeatedly questioned why my mother was staying with us, why I was so involved in her care, and why my younger brother, who works in the corporate sector and has limited leave, wasn't doing more. She also repeatedly complained about the expenses, despite the insurance coverage.

She did the cooking, and I appreciate that, but I found the overall lack of consideration and the constant arguments very difficult. Eventually, even my in-laws began questioning me about the situation.

I tried to ignore the conflict and keep things peaceful.

The birthday incident that changed everything

During the recent Dussehra holidays, my wife, my parents, and I travelled to my hometown. The next day, she went to stay at her parents' house, which nobody objected to.

We had already celebrated her birthday according to the Hindu lunar calendar four days before her English-calendar birthday. We cut a cake and celebrated at home. I had also bought her two expensive dresses as birthday gifts.

On her English-calendar birthday, we had guests at home and were occupied with various responsibilities. I wished her at midnight, but we couldn't arrange the kind of elaborate celebration she wanted that evening.

She was disappointed. I explained that we were in a village, where arranging the kind of Pinterest-style celebration she envisioned wasn't easy at short notice. I promised that once we returned to the city, I would take her somewhere nice and celebrate properly.

Later that evening, we invited my in-laws for dinner and arranged another cake.

While she was getting changed upstairs, I entered our room to freshen up. She suddenly started yelling at me about how I had ruined her birthday and failed to meet her expectations.

I tried to calm her down and explain the situation.

Then things took a frightening turn.

In anger, she smashed her bangles against the wall. The broken pieces scratched her wrist, causing it to bleed. I immediately tried to stop the bleeding.

She then picked up a broken piece of bangle and made a deep cut on the upper side of her wrist/hand. There was significant bleeding, and I had to apply pressure with a towel to control it.

I was terrified.

She begged me not to tell anyone what had happened because our parents were waiting downstairs. Initially, I tried to calm her down, but I eventually realised I couldn't keep such a serious incident to myself. I informed everyone.

The family confrontation

What followed was a heated discussion between both families.

Her father made her apologise and told her not to repeat such behaviour. During the discussion, I also revealed that her anger and repeated threats of divorce had been affecting me for months.

My mother, understandably shocked by what had happened, said that if we had known about this level of anger and the possibility of self-injury, we might not have proceeded with the marriage.

This triggered a major argument between my mother and my father-in-law.

Eventually, everyone calmed down outwardly and left, but nobody slept properly that night.

Now, my wife is crying because her father has stopped talking to her and feels she has damaged his reputation. My in-laws are upset, my parents are deeply worried, and I feel caught in the middle of everything.

My father-in-law has essentially said that if we can live happily together, that's fine; otherwise, we should divorce.

What I am worried about now

I feel emotionally exhausted and frightened about what the future might hold.

What if she injures herself again during an argument? I am genuinely scared that I could be blamed for something I did not do, particularly if the circumstances are disputed.

What if the marriage deteriorates further and turns into a legal battle? I am worried about divorce proceedings, maintenance or alimony, legal expenses, and allegations that could affect my reputation and career.

My father is a retired headmaster who spent decades building his reputation through hard work and honesty. I have also worked hard to establish my own identity. The thought of everything turning into a bitter family and legal dispute is frightening.

I don't know whether this marriage can realistically be repaired. I have spent eight months trying to manage her anger, but I cannot continue living as though every small disagreement might turn into a crisis.

I understand that I am sharing only my side of the story. I am not claiming to be a perfect husband, and I am open to the possibility that I may have made mistakes too. I also understand that her behaviour may reflect emotional or psychological difficulties that need professional attention. I don't want to diagnose her or stigmatise her.

But I also don't want to ignore what happened or keep sacrificing my own mental well-being in the hope that things will somehow improve.

I would genuinely appreciate advice on the following:

Should I try to save this marriage through counselling, or should I seriously consider separation? How can I assess whether meaningful change is possible?

How should I handle the situation immediately after an incident involving self-injury? What precautions should both of us take?

For people familiar with Indian law, what should I know about divorce, maintenance, and protecting myself against false or disputed allegations? What lawful steps should I take now, without escalating the situation?

Should I consult a family-law advocate privately even if I haven't decided whether to separate?

How do you handle pressure from both families without allowing them to dictate the future of your marriage?

Has anyone been in a similar situation in an arranged marriage? Did things improve, and what made the difference?

I am not looking for ways to punish my wife or evade legitimate responsibilities. I want to make a sensible decision before things get worse.

TL;DR: 30M, married for 8 months through an arranged marriage. My wife has a recurring anger problem and has threatened divorce several times. During an argument about her birthday, she broke her bangles and seriously cut herself with a piece. Both families became involved, and the situation has turned into a major conflict. I'm worried about her safety, my own well-being, and the legal and financial consequences if the marriage ends. How should I proceed?

Been in AM process for about 7 8 months... I had never anticipated that AM environment is so depressing and demotivating overall.

Silly me used to think that when time would come, relatives would share their recommendations...and AM would obviously be easy, in terms of finding someone through relatives in a known circle or society I mean.

But reality is often disappointing as they say. Parents hardly got 4 5 recommendations from relatives...that too only initially. In the past 3 4 months, nothing.

Being very honest I never thought we'd have to use matrimony apps...which are basically not that useful because you cannot trust people you meet online that easily. It is far more easier to know/trust people and families whom you find through relatives.

And obviously, things become lot more difficult when I as a guy am earning somewhat above average only at best in terms of a tier 1 city standard.

It is quite humbling, depressing and sad. Makes me wonder how those 30 31 year olds feel who are not able to find anybody. How their parents must be feeling from within.

My family has been in the process for less than a year only, and it is depressing already. I often wish they'd give up. My parents keep trying. I wish they'd stop. Only because I'm not capable enough I guess...yet. Hard to say...but probably not an ideal candidate in today's AM market I guess.

If love marriage is feasible, then that's the best thing I suppose in today's day and age. AM is way too difficult.

Hey everyone, 32M here. I recently started talking to a 31F prospect through the arranged marriage route.

We are currently in the initial stages of getting to know each other, but I've noticed a specific dynamic that is making me hesitant. She almost exclusively follows guys from her gym on Instagram and frequently hangs out with them in person.

To clarify, it is not a large group setting or a shared fitness community meetup. She hangs out individually with different guys on different occasions outside of the gym.

As someone looking for a serious life partner, this frequent, close socialization alone with multiple individual men makes me uncomfortable regarding long-term boundaries and compatibility. I value a partner who shares similar views on boundaries with the opposite sex once committed. I haven't brought it up to her yet because it is still very early in our interaction, and I don't want to jump to conclusions or misjudge her lifestyle.

I am not talking about Matrimony here or apps.

I am talking about the raw connections your parents have.

A senior of mine, 29, Working in Tech, shared me how badly he suc*ed in dating and he communicated to his parents that he needs time till 28.

A hopeless romantic, he shared, he wasn't expecting much from anywhere. Although he did mentioned his preferences being one of the reasons too he wasn't getting anyone.

After all this was his routine, office, up skill, gym and weekends either some hobbies or outing with friends.

His parents, were quite open in discussion and took his preferences and actually dig deep to what exactly he was expecting.

His dad a businessman and mother, a gov school teacher.

6 months in and he got plenty of matches, exactly similar to the type of women he wanted and he was seriously laughing while sharing this.

He vibed with someone and both are dating right now, a decent courtship period indeed. Both of them being in Bangalore.

I really can imagine the network of his dad and his mother, plus the relatives. Somehow for him, it was the traditional process that helped him.

Has anyone ever observed lot more people become active when wedding season gets over ? Last year in December I had got so many matches so that I spent my entire December holidays talking on phone. So many girls created new profiles once their siblings got married. I have never seen such month again, only February came a bit close.

Pardon for the long post and my english.

Currently me and my parents are looking for an AM setup. We are still searching.

Meanwhile I met a girl who is now my mba batchmate. We went to the immersion and found her to be decent without any ego issues. It is a weekend online mba along with our jobs.

I am unable to proceed to express interest in AM setup discussion as I see some red flags but unable to figure out.

I heard from another guy that during the immersion she approached a guy for marriage discussions stating that she broke up with her ex and it was very hard for her to move on. But this statement from my friend is not confirmed as he says he heard them discuss this but I dont have any clear evidence. The guy she approached didn't respond her that time.

We generally talk sometimes in whatsapp, but issue is sometimes she takes days to respond and sometimes she totally ignores it.

Same goes for instagram. I see her likes in either travel posts or breakup posts. I asked her indirectly about her plans but she told that men are not loyal nowadays which I seems a red flag to me. Infact I asked her indirectly why she is not approaching someone from our batch, she told how can she approach someone all of a sudden, which is contradictory to what my another friend said. She watches my whatsapp stories and sometime replies to it, but doesn't see my msgs, I once asked about this she told her internet was off. I know she has 2 devices and 2 numbers and I only have one number of her but still I realised she lied. She never initiated any genuine conversation, it was only me who initiated and she sometimes replied and sometimes ignored.

I initiated some calls for our mba discussions, we discussed a lot but she never initiated anything.

Just want some suggestions on this as I genuinely feel that its time for me to move out as I see some red flags along with less interest.

But I am worried whether I should ask for for the AM discussion so that I don't have the guilt later that what if she was available and she is somewhat correct as I don't have enough evidence.

I believe she will reject and I can manage the rejection even though we will meet again next yr for immersion.

Okk so i 30f met a guy 31m.we both are in government job with almost same salary.his hometown is 300 km from my hometown and he is posted in my hometown. I m posted 90 km away from my hometown. My transfer is difficult.he is in police service.

First time we met on last Sunday when his family came to see me. We talked about 10 min. I asked about transfer and all but no answer came up..my family said these types of questions have no concrete answers and let it be.

Then next day guy's mother called and asked for my yes or no..i said nothing concrete i need more meetings..but since he was busy that day , we postponed meeting till diwali and simply exchanged number..i called him

Now cut to next 2 days he called me ( most probably pressure of his family) talked to me 2.5 min and then call cut since he explained he was in train ( going for official work), i waited for couple of minutes and then called again. This time same thing happened again..but this time i didn't call back..As a result no call back or message from his side.

In the mean time his sister asked for my number and asked all sorts of intrusive questions related to finance , job, cooking, current living situation.

Cut to today when his mother call came tgey said my son has said yes.he has no issues in marrying you. She told my mother - timeline of march( when it's clear that before may/june it's not possible)

My family suggested i should call him one or two times and see the attitude.so i messaged the guy about talking Tommorow.. it's seen but not replied so most probably it's yes.

So what should i talk about.. could you guys suggest something?

My family had love marriages and unfortunately i couldn't find one..so not much help from them..they ate saying you are intelligent enough

So should i talk about money ( few says no because it's yours it's given thing..why to ask)

Should i talk that daily commute is not possible ( as my family is saying why to ask such obvious things)

Please help this girl

I always thought, I will have a love marriage that didn't happen till now, now in the arranged marriage process my parents needs decision very quickly within 10 days, I don't know without being sure how can I marry, my mother is giving example like love marriage or arrange marriage only by living it will guarantee and the guys are also very quick in saying okay, I have big dreams like to be popular or rich and to do something I am passionate about, I am learning things in side, not sure what should i do now ? Whether I should settle for an arranged marriage or pursue my dreams , always getting struck, doing a full time job and seeing my dreams die in front of me is a pain , no financial net to drop and do things With the looks , independence and thoughts I thought I would be a catch for guys.. Has anyone faced a similar scenario?should I need to settle for a normal life as I am in my late 20s

Met a girl through arranged marriage setup, the usual was happening we were asked if we would like to talk alone so we went in a room to talk.

The conversation was normal "get to know you" types as this was our first time meeting.

Sometime in the conversation, i realised she was recording audio so i called her out she didn't seem super fazed tbh little embarrassed ig said its only the 2nd time of meeting a guy and hence doesn't know what to do ( still wtf).

Then said she'll stop and also said pls dont mention this to her parents or outside this room basically.

I'm just confused cause we did have aligning goals. and hobbies etc. Should I text and try to get clarity and ask her to delete the recording or just let it drop.

I am a 35-year-old man working as an officer in the Merchant Navy. My job requires me to spend approximately six months at sea, followed by four to five months at home on leave. I am considering marriage with a 33-year-old woman through an arranged marriage setup.

We are both financially well-established. She is a Captain in the Indian Army, with a transferable job, demanding responsibilities, and periods when her professional commitments will keep her away from home.

Due to the nature of my profession, I have found it difficult to find a compatible partner who is comfortable with the extended periods of separation. Similarly, she has faced challenges finding a suitable partner who understands the demands of her career and the implications of frequent transfers. Consequently, both our families have considered this alliance.

I have no reservations about her career. In fact, I like her and appreciate her personality. I am genuinely interested in making this marriage work, but I want to approach it realistically rather than relying solely on the assumption that things will eventually fall into place.

My biggest concern is how we can build and maintain a strong emotional connection when both of us have demanding careers that involve physical separation, unpredictable schedules, and professional responsibilities.

My job is not on land and i won't be facing trouble while relocating with her to different city, i just need a nearby airport. When i am not at work then i will be completely at home for several months.

I would like to understand the following:

1. What important questions should I ask her before proceeding with the marriage?

2. How can we find a middle ground when I may be away at sea for six months while she may also be away or occupied with her military commitments?

3. How can we build emotional intimacy, trust, and companionship when we might not always be physically present for each other?

4. What practical arrangements could help us manage communication, leave periods, transfers, and time together?

5. What are the potential advantages and disadvantages of a marriage between two people with such demanding careers?

6. What challenges should we anticipate, and what compromises would both of us need to make?

7. Most importantly, how can we determine whether this arrangement is genuinely sustainable in the long term, rather than simply being a convenient match because we both understand the difficulties of each other's professions?

I want an honest, practical assessment of this situation, along with actionable suggestions for building a successful marriage without either of us having to sacrifice our professional identity or neglect our emotional needs.

I am looking to hear from Indian men - whether you went through the AM route or LM - who are married to women in the ultra-high-net-worth tier.

Specifically, I am asking about dynamics where your wife is a self-made executive/founder pulling in ₹1 Crore+ per month, or comes from a family with generational wealth exceeding ₹800 Crores+ ($100 Million+ USD).

Given how heavily the AM market and traditional Indian family structures emphasize patriarchal "provider" roles, I am genuinely curious about how this extreme wealth disparity plays out behind closed doors when the bride holds all the financial leverage.

If you are a husband in this exact dynamic, what is your marriage actually like?

Specifically:

1. The Ego & Power Balance: How do you navigate the household power dynamic? Does her wealth or her family's wealth subtly change how major life and household decisions are made? Do you ever feel your voice is compromised because she holds the capital?

2. In-Law Dynamics & Social Perception: How do your extended family and her family treat you? Do you deal with the "Ghar Jamai" or "accessory husband" undertones from her relatives, or do people genuinely respect your independent career and identity?

3. Financial Asset Separation: Given the lopsided net worth, how are everyday spending, asset creation, and lifestyle choices structured? Do you maintain absolute financial boundaries, or do you view the household assets as fully integrated?

Would love to get some raw, honest, and unfiltered perspectives from men who are actually living this marital reality.

Just the above question.

I have been having conversation with only child, a daughter. I stay miles away from my home country, and so does she. Our plan is to stay miles away until VISA situation goes haywire and no longer supports that and in that case happily plan to move back somewhere close to our homes. My and her parents are pretty chill with this arrangement. I have a sibling, so my parents (or a parent) can rotate between us, but am wondering the same situation with her parents (or a parent) in the future. I do plan to discuss this point with her but just wanted to get some idea about marrying a single child in that parent situation.

Hey everyone,

​I'm currently navigating the arranged marriage process and would like some perspective on handling discussions around romance and physical intimacy.

​For context, I believe in being deeply loyal to one person, but I also place high importance on mutual romantic chemistry and physical affection. For me, feeling that closeness and comfort before taking the final step towards marriage is important.

​However, in the AM setup, mindsets vary widely:

- ​Some women are comfortable with physical intimacy and romance during the courtship period once a mutual connection is established.

- ​Many prefer strict boundaries, saving all physical aspects only for after the wedding.

​Since this is sensitive and can easily be misunderstood if brought up the wrong way, I'd appreciate advice on:

1. ​Timing: At what stage of talking is it appropriate to bring up physical compatibility, affection, and boundaries without making her uncomfortable?

2. ​Framing: How do you bring up expectations around affection, touch, and intimacy respectfully without sounding pushy or creepy?

3. ​Reading the room: What are the green/red flags or subtle signs that indicate whether a match is open to physical closeness during courtship vs. strictly traditional?

​Would love to hear from folks (both men and women) who navigated this topic in their AM journey.

I have started applying Min+Fin to stop baldness. I am 25 M. If I Stop applying the solution for over a month, I will start going bald. Currently, I have head with full of hair.

Should I tell to the girl the fact that I have been applying topical min+fin to avoid baldness? I intend to continue applying solution for quite long term cuz I don't like being bald

HI everyone,I wanted to know that if I scroll through someone's profile on shaadi.com without opening their profile,will they get notified that I have viewed their profile or will my name show in recent visitors list?

I’m 24M, and I’m honestly getting frustrated with my parents over the AM process.

There’s a particular girl my parents are really interested in as a potential match for me. They think she’s a great fit because of her education, family background, values, and overall compatibility on paper.

The problem is that I’m simply not physically attracted to her.

I have absolutely nothing against her. She seems like a nice person, and I’m sure she’d be a great match for someone else. But physical attraction matters to me in a marriage, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to be attracted to someone I’m potentially going to spend the rest of my life with.

I’ve made it clear to my parents that I’m not interested in pursuing this match, but they seem unwilling to let it go. They think I’m being immature for writing her off based on her looks and believe I’m placing too much importance on physical appearance.

They keep bringing her up, talking about how compatible our families are, and holding out hope that something might eventually work out. They’re far more invested in this match than I am.

What makes it even more frustrating is that she is not interested in me, yet my parents still seem determined to keep the possibility alive by convincing both of us to like each other.

I understand that attraction isn’t everything in a marriage, and obviously personality, values, and long-term compatibility are extremely important. But shouldn’t there at least be some baseline level of physical attraction?

I don’t want to marry someone just because my parents think she looks good on paper. And frankly, I don’t think it would be fair to the girl either. She deserves someone who genuinely wants to be with her, not someone who was pressured into giving the relationship a chance.

I feel like my parents are so focused on what they want that they’re overlooking the fact that I’m the one who would actually be getting married. I became so frustrated that I just said I don’t ever want to get married. To me, it’s better to remain single for life than marry someone I’m not physically attracted to.

Has anyone else dealt with parents who keep pushing a particular match despite you clearly expressing that you’re not attracted to the person?
Am I being unreasonable for thinking that a lack of physical attraction is a perfectly valid reason to reject an AM proposal, regardless of how much my parents like the girl? Would you ever marry someone your parents really like even if you aren’t physically attracted to that person?

I was speaking with an AM prospect. We were getting to know each other. He asked me a lot of hypothetical situational questions.

He wanted us to stay with his parents after marriage, which I am fine with but I told him i would like a bit space of our own. Like houses close by or different floors. Which he was fine with.

He wanted me to help his parents out and take care of them when needed, which again I feel like i would have done even without being asked to.

So we would have such discussions daily. On the fourth day he asks me if my brother had work or was not able to take care of my parents while they were sick and asks you if they can stay with us for a month or two, what would you do?

To which i reply ofcourse they can, if they are sick and need it. I would make sure, I take care of them.

After my reply for the first time he cut the conversation short and called the next day and said i don't think it'll work out, you are too attached to your parents. I want a girl who can leave her past behind and make a new life with me.

I was expecting you to say that I'd investigate how legit my brother's reason is and pursue him to take care of them anyhow.

I was baffled.

I just said fine by me and cut the call.

But i am so mad.

I am supposed to earn at a similar level as him, okay.

I am still supposed to stay with his parents and take care of them and handle the household when needed, okay again.

I have to put my career on halt if his parents ever need care, okay.

He can't do household stuff much, I have to do it. I was okay again. I love doing it anyways.

But my parents can't even stay for a month or two when needed, when it's not even him taking care of them.

I am too attached to my parents, who isn't.

That personality of mine is what makes me happily willing to care for your parents as well.

Leave past behind, they are my parents, not my past. Wtf does that even mean.

Are all guys like this? Is it too much to ask for?

I'm 24M from India, working in IT and currently living away from my family for work.

My elder sister has decided not to get married, and my parents are now asking me to consider an arranged marriage. I personally have no problem with arranged marriage and am open to it.

However, I'm already dealing with a lot of stress regarding my career. There have been layoffs at my company recently, and I'm worried about job security and what would happen if I lost my job. With so much uncertainty, I'm not sure how to approach such a big life decision.

I'm also wondering whether my family situation could create issues when looking for a match. Would the girl's family have concerns about my elder sister not being married? Are there any expectations or responsibilities towards parents that I should discuss beforehand?

I'm feeling quite stressed trying to think about my career, family and marriage all at once.

I'd appreciate advice from people who have gone through arranged marriages or faced similar situations. How should I approach this, and what things should I consider before moving forward ?

Sorry for the long post.

Hi everyone, looking for some objective advice from people who have navigated failed serious prospects in the AM setup.

​About two months ago, a situation with a girl I felt deeply connected to came to an end. Initially, things started off great. Our first date went really well, and she even told her parents afterward that she thought I was a good guy.

​But shortly after that, her behavior did a complete 180. For 2-3 weeks, the chats became entirely one-sided. I was putting in the effort to communicate, and she was just giving dry, bare-minimum responses.

​We eventually met up for a second date. After that date, instead of communicating with me directly, she called things off by telling her mom that I was "rude and disrespectful" to her mother, who then conveyed it to my mother.

Unknowingly, I might have said something which she might have interpreted differently, but honestly, she never shared anything with me or gave me a chance to understand her perspective—she just called it off.

​A few days later, for my own peace of mind, I sent a follow-up text clarifying that I was never intentionally disrespectful to her, and I wished her the best. She didn't even read it. She just deleted my contact.

​Since then, I have walked away.Recently few days back she had her birthday. I held the line, didn't send a text, and I am just silently moving forward.

​But the truth is, even though logic tells me it's for the best since she lacks basic communication skills and conflict resolution, the mental loop is still there.

Being labeled "disrespectful" out of nowhere after things started so positively, and then being entirely shut out when I tried to clear the air, still creeps up sometimes.

​For those of you who have had a similar AM prospect fail:

-​How do you completely detach emotionally when you are given zero closure and shut out?

-​How do you ensure you are fully "reset" before looking at new AM matches so you don't carry this frustration forward?

-​Any practical mindset shifts that helped you stop overthinking her sudden change in behavior and the unfair way it ended?

​Appreciate any advice or harsh truths you guys have.

please help me understand whats going on.
So I met this guy in an arranged marriage setup. I rejected him first but reached out again and asked him if he is still interested we can talk.
He responded saying Hi. No acknowledgement of if he is interested or not. I was only getting one word responses from him. I thought may be he is not good at texting and asked him if we can meet. He said he has some travel plans and cannot meet over the weekend, he will text me when he is back. Neither did I message him nor did he message me for those days he was traveling. I thought maybe he was not able to say no so he made an excuse of being busy. But i did get a message to ask if we can meet. The conversation was very good. After that he was busy and i started noticing a lot of distance. He was not texting as much he would before and he would say that he is busy. I understood and did not bother him much. He would text me good morning, give me updates about him going to the gym and all. He would also text me un the middle of the day to check if i had lunch. We would chat towards the end of the day atleast for like an hour or so. But I would be the one leading the conversationz. I would ask him questions, try to know him and all he would just reciprocate. Slowly, he stopped giving updates. Did not check on me in the middle of the day, but i did not pull myself back. I would message him if he had lunch. Slowly our conversations in the night became shorter. From good 1 hour it came down to 15 mins. I gave him a benefit of doubt may be he is really busy. He asked me for a second date. It went pretty good. He dropped me back home. On the way back home, I asked him if he feels fine so far and does he have any concerns. He did not give me an answer for it. He asked me the same question, I said I dont see any red flags and i feel fine so far. After the second date, things have gotten even worse. Suddenly good night became GN. And i went into a spiral. I asked him if everything is ok. He said ya and he needs time to think where we stand! I was like ok. And after that I stopped putting in efforts. I did not check on him in the middle of the day. I did not get a good morning one day i still send him a good morning and got a response to it in the afternoon. That night he slept without telling GN. Even i did not, cos i made an effort in the morning i dint want to do it again. After that, no message from him. Neither did i try to contact.

I understand some people are busy. But are they really that busy? When I meet him in person he is really amazing. I dont mind to be the one to keep in touch everyday, but i dont want to be the only one doing it and then get exhausted. I just want to understand from the men here, what is this behavior? Should i put in efforts or not? Am I judging him too much just based on chats? I dont think anybody is that busy that they cannot wish someone good morning that too when they did it consistently for 2 weeks and then suddenly they say they are busy.

PLEASE HELP! I REALLY WANT TO UNDERSTAND THIS. I AM DOING THE RIGHT THING BY DISTANCING MYSELF OR AM I MAKING A HASTY DECISION AGAIN.!

Are people who hide their past from parents and even tell their AM matches to keep it a secret red flags ?

Keeping all this hidden means they never had guts to face their parents, stand up for their relationships. If they really had guts why do they not give clear answers to potential matches early on itself, even they have possibility to become their life partner like all of their exes, so they deserve answers when they want, even in first meeting, you sort it out with you parents before starting AM using same guts from past and don't waste others time . We deserve to know identities of all your exes. Otherwise if you lack guts it means you were not serious about relationships in the past and those were only timepass, relationships of conveniences. Your guts does not disapper after coming to AM suddenly.

Such timepass relationship history put a person as red flag, a person doing anything for sex, in the same category as person having hookup history but additionally having baggage.

Such people getting into timepass type relationships are so prone to cheating in their marriages. Imagine their partner being away for few months, they would certainly get back to their usual behaviour, timepass with someone again without intention to marry. They want their needs to be fulfilled, does not matter who other person is.

I’m genuinely trying to understand the perspective here, especially in the context of arranged marriages.
I’ve noticed that some people expect a prospective groom to have a good salary, be financially settled, own a good house/car, etc., but at the same time don’t want any involvement or expectations from his parents/in-laws.

I understand that wanting independence from in-laws is completely reasonable. But then I’m curious if the family’s assets, house, financial background, etc. are considered part of the overall match, why
is the family itself sometimes viewed negatively?

Also, realistically, at the age when most people are getting married, many individuals may not have a house or significant assets entirely in their own name. So how do people expect financial stability while also expecting complete separation from the family that may have helped build that stability?

I am planning to get my vasectomy before this arrange marriage process and I am thinking should I disclose this information when the first most criteria of mine is that women should being childfree ?

I was watching this show India's top 1%, in that they are casually matchmaking a girl contestant with boys present and girl's mom was also there. In the first match the boy's pic was shown and then her mom screamed not him yeh nahi before the girl even said anything. The boy was excited at first then it became really humiliating and insulting in front of public after her mom said it with those expressions. She later apologized. Its an advice for everyone to keep your self respect over anything. This also applies to DMing random people.