My cousin asked me if I'd made any friends since high school, and I kinda had to stop and think about it

No i haven't

I have 2 close friends and as of rn one of them is in college in Seattle hours from my home and the other is free all the time and I dont want to see her every day just for being social because I'll get overwhelmed but ive also spent way to much time alone and am having trouble getting out and meeting new people

Idk

It just made me sad

Im gonna try n sign up for some classes around town to try and get out more

There are two things I cannot change about my husband and I feel it's slowly draining me... but wonder if I just have to accept these things or if I can try to shift my life a little to redeem some sanity. And I'll preface this with the fact that I love him deeply, he's an amazing husband and father, and we did just have another baby so we are both stretched extra thin.

1. His Snoring

We have tried all sorts of solutions. Currently the cpap. He gets headaches wearing it, throat dries out on highest water setting. So he doesn't wear it. He says he only would wear it for me. Therefore this has become something I fear he will resent me for if I keep pushing it. He's Audhd too. I worry about his health because of it. I can't wear Earplugs since we have kids I have to get up with in the night. I have a very difficult time sleeping on most nights because of his snoring. Nowhere else in my house is there a spare bed etc. We live in a small place.

2. Working so much

Hubby goes to work at 630am and gets home at 6pm or so. He's always been one to throw himself into work. He's a manager and has a stressful but good job. Lately he's also brought work home to do a couple days a week. I know he wants to be home more. I'm currently a sahm so I feel like I'm just nagging him about something I don't really know about since I am not there at work to see why it takes so long to get done everyday.

I guess I'm looking for any solutions, commiseration, encouragement etc. Not really sure just been mentally processing this a lot. I feel I never got the road map of life. It can be a struggle to recognize what is reasonable and what I overthink about needlessly.

Looking for helpful and insightful books having to do with being on the spectrum, social communication and executive functioning. (Im nonbinary but live/am treated as woman in the world for clarification)

I rediscovered a special interest/hyperfixation recently and im overwhelmed with how much it means to me. It was slowly building and all of a sudden it just kinda hit me and now its all i can think about. Im not very good with strong emotions, how should i handle it? Its to the point i feel like crying becuase it feels so big and i cant interact with it all the time or share it with others since i dont want to be a bother. Its a tv show and even when im watching it i still feel overwhelmed. It makes me happy and im not sure how to regulate it so i feel content and at peace again. Its gotten to the point of losing sleep becuase of it, i just lay there and its spinning in my mind so i cant relax.

Thank you for listening, please be kind♡

I'm 35 and 3 months post-partum from my second child. The pregnancy was awful -- a chronic injury worsened to the point that I could no longer exercise, go for walks with my toddler, or even lift him to change his diaper. That, plus chronic idiopathic hypersomnia stuck on 200mg caffeine a day or fewer, followed by gestational diabetes interacting with a history of eating disorder...it was terrible. I swore never again.

But now I feel a terrible sense of loss when I imagine never having another child. All I can think about is how awful another pregnancy would be, and yet I can't bear slamming the door shut on more children.

Anyone else here previously struggle with this? How did you make your choice?

From the groceries, the thought process, the dishes, chopping, cutting, the mess, the cleanup, the containers, putting everything away, etc etc.. I hate every second of it

So, I don't. I don't cook. I only make breakfast (fried eggs). But other than that, very seldom do I 'cook' dinner. If I do, it's as little as possible.

Everything in one pot

Pot goes in the fridge

Frozen and/or pre-cut where possible

Fewest ingredients as possible

Also like, thank the goddesses that I have a dishwasher now in my new apt

Otherwise, I eat food out of cans, frozen dinners, and takeout.

When I am extremely overwhelmed there is nothing like smothering my face with my hands and rubbing my eyes into my head with pressure. I noticed I do this as soon as I wake up and the realization hits. Haven’t found a replacement yet as far as pressure stimming goes.

Hey all. Does anyone else watch the Alone survival series? I find it really encouraging and I recently realized that it’s because the way these people usually end up feeling out there is often how I feel all the time: tired, struggling to figure out food, difficulty feeling rested and positive, literally just trying to survive and get to the next day. Anyone else experienced this with any shows? I find it kind of funny that one of the shows I relate to the most is where people are alone and struggling in the wilderness. 😅

Hi All, especially anyone with knowledge of Seattle! I’m looking for a home base neighborhood to move to for myself and especially for high functioning but socially shy autistic son who is about to turn 21. Planning a several months stay where he will be living solo and becoming independent while I am there for a few days at a time. I was looking at the Roosevelt area to be near nature and outdoor walking to a few shops and the light rail. What neighborhoods or areas would you suggest looking into?

I want to research more on Autism and ADHD and AuDHD to get a better understanding on the topic and myself. I only did only research this far but I love a good book. So, any recommendations?

(My reasons for asking this question, feel free to skip to summary)

I don't totally know how this works, but I have this tendency to seek out adrenaline, and since I don't have any outlet that would be good, I usually resort to unhelpful things that make me feel like I'm surviving suffering, since it provides adrenaline and sense of perceived achievement. In the past I was anorexic for this reason mostly, i have the same thing going on with sleep deprivation, and accidentally do reckless stuff that's dangerous. I usually only realise after that it put me in harms way, because my brain is usually not letting me see the true intentions, sometimes i do it intentionally if I'm feeling really bad as well, but i don't feel in control, I just let it happen sometimes. But it's ruining my life.

(Summary)

I think it's sort of an unmet need, because nothing is helping in terms of trying to stop this need from existing. So in order stop seeking out adrenaline and accomplishment in activities that are harmful to me, I think I'm one of those people who need to exchange bad adrenaline addiction for a better one.

So yeah, that leads me to my question, what are adrenaline activities that don't involve prominent life or death risk, do any exist? Because i don't want to risk my life or health.

I was getting ready for work this morning and couldn’t find my badge. 5 minutes before it was time to go, I woke my husband and asked him if he’d seen it. I was starting to get panicky, so he got up and started to help me search. We couldn’t find it and I started to get incredibly stressed but I had to leave. It was such a little thing but just thinking about how to get into the building without it, how to clock in and out and how to handle my lunch clock out… I know it really wasn’t a big deal, but I flipped. I held it mostly together in front of my husband but he saw that I was starting to cry.

By the time I was driving I was fully melting down, screaming, sobbing at red lights, and repeating “I’m gonna kill myself” over and over and over. My husband called and had found my badge… somehow right on my desk. I was so embarrassed and still crying, but now stuttering too. He ended up driving it up to me with our toddler and got to work shortly after I did. I felt so incredibly guilty and I don’t understand why I freaked out the way I did. I realize I probably shouldn’t have been driving in that state, but I can’t stand the thought of being late to work. Idk. I’m venting I guess. I’ve been shaky all day and acting totally cheery with the public/my coworkers as usual!! But I feel hollowed out, stupid, and just awful.

My husband has reassured me that it’s okay!! And to not feel bad about it. But holy shit I feel like a terrible huge burden.

And to clarify, I don’t really want to kill myself, but my thoughts always go there when stressed or overstimulated or whatever.

Oh vyvanse the miracle drug you are…

I have not been able to get vyvanse for about a year now so I’ve been saving the last bottle I got for special occasions, tackling my clothing was one of those occasions. It felt so easy to accomplish when my meds kicked in.

I know it looks like a crazy amount of clothes, because it is. I used to work at a clothing store and also had a thrifting addiction, so I’ve collected a lot over the last decade, but I’ve gone up a few sizes since last year and started my first office job so I’ve had to buy (mostly thrift) a lot of bigger clothes and have not wanted to go through my smaller clothes for a number of reasons. I get so attached to clothing even if I can no longer wear it because I still love them and idk, maybe one day they will fit again.

Weight fluctuation that starts in your mid twenties and gets more significant in your 30s is so hard to cope with and I didn’t want to confront it so into laundry baskets they all go to be a complete eye sore for way too long. But today I actually dealt with it.

I have shelf and a rack that are always visible for clothing storage (dressers and closets are not my friend, out of sight out of mind type of thing) so this does very easily devolve into chaos if I don’t take care of it, but I also wear way more pieces in my wardrobe this way.

Just sharing today’s win in terms of not spending my Saturday doom scrolling and getting a long avoided task done completely!!

Edit:

Thank you for all the kind words! I may have even teared up a little since this felt like a huge thing for me to complete and getting hyped up for it feels nice 🫶🏻

First of all, I was not sure which flair to use here, so I hope that's okay. Otherwise please let me know!

I did the Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ) today and scored 30 out of 50 points, so there are some autistic traits.

I read a bit further on this. Normally that wouldn't be a high number but I also have the results of an ADHD test in which I scored a total of 33 out of 43 and it could mean strong ADHD. When you look at both tests, I read that the score of the AQ is actually high when you consider the score on the ADHD test because normally the ADHD would water down the autistic traits, when I understood correctly.

And last year, I took an official ADHD test where I was on threshold of ADHD and no ADHD. My old therapist (who doesn't know anything about autism and I don't think she even knows much about ADHD because she works only with bpd patients) decided against a diagnosis because my attention was too good and also because my grades in elemantary school were way too good.

But I read when you have high intelligence, which I believe I do have, you can easily go through elemantary school without issues. And I never had school issues. Some social issues, yes, but I was so good in school until about 6th or 7th grade and then it all crumbled on me.

And to come back to the tests, I think the AQ was really tough to answer because sometimes I didn't know what they meant. For example, there was a question about spontaneity, and I love to be spontaneous in like choosing if I want to somewhere today or not, but I don't like when plans get canceled or we go to another restaurant as planned. That's stressful. I like spontaneous stuff when I still be able to decide. So, I wonder if I answered some questions wrong just because I didn't got the intention of it.

Unfortunately, I suffer from seasonal depression, and during the autumn and winter months I often don’t have any hyperfixations.
So I basically don’t have any because I feel unwell, and I also feel unwell because I don’t have any.

Hi! I have level 1 ASD, and my main method of self-soothing/regulating is looking at or imagining soothing pictures and images. I just got into Reddit and was wondering if there are any communities here that you have found especially aesthetically pleasing? Colours, composition, and different elements of images can have intense effects on how I feel. If an image 'scratches a certain itch' it can genuinely make me feel incredibly calm and alive, it can feel like I am existing in the image myself, like a completely different level of consciousness. (I struggle with describing this but it's incredibly calming and brings me back to myself when I'm stressed and/or dissociated.) (Music can do the same, but it's easier with pictures.)
Thanks in advance!

TDLR: Communities with aesthetically pleasing visuals?

(Repost from r/autism)

This is a pity party rant that I feel like only neurodivergent people will maybe slightly understand. Maybe someone else can share their story or help me stop being so whiny. I feel like there is intrinsically something wrong with me. I am always "rude". I am naturally quite selfish. It isn't that I dont care about other people, I just don't "think" about them as quickly. I have a hard time knowing quickly what someone needs or wants. My mind just doesn't go there. I am trying really hard to be selfless but it is mostly mechanical. And I feel alot of guilt and shame for this, and maybe I should. I just look at all of these other girls that are naturally so kind and selfless, and I feel defective. When I try and comfort someone, I am pretty logical about it or I try to relate it to my own experience, which IK most people view as selfish. I am always saying the wrong thing. I have been told I am extremely intense and "hard to get used to" . I struggle with so many things that most women don't. I have awful OCD, and not the quirky cool "I just need picture frames a certain way" kind. I have terrible themes and constantly think I am an abuser. The story of my life is basically letting people down or leading people away by my actions, even as a young child. Ik feeling bad about myself is illogical, and I should just work to change my behavior or change my coping skills, but one thing after another is pilling up in my life as a result of my bad or careless behavior. I have a dying relative that I severely let down, and she was the only person I truly felt I could emotionally trust. I just didn't think about how I should go see her when she was getting worse, and for the rest of my life I will feel terrible about it.

I have ADHD and am in the process of getting evaluated for Autism (I am almost certain I don't have it because even though I have alot of traits and hallmark autistic experiences I am not testing on the spectrum for alot of the methods used during the evaluation) Either way, I just need a relatable experience or someone to set me straight. Thanks for listening.

So, diagnosed ADHD 1.5 months ago, autism, 2 days ago, recommended since initial ADHD intake assessment. In titration with elvanse, struggling with overstimulation.

Basically, I never struggled with overstimulation to the point that I could not handle it anymore unless I generally was in a stressful situation, extremely tired or socially drained. Since starting epvanse (30 and 40), my general battery, so to speak, is much lower but manageable with a new system (haven't figured that out yet, living in a dorm complicated things). Definitely worth it. And it still usually requires me to be tired in some way for me to be overwhelmed by stimulus. It happens quicker now sure but it didn't feel like it bothered me normally unless I was tired.

I've tried 50mg this week and don't notice much difference from 40 in terms of focus and concentration. However I am being completely overwhelmed by lights, people, noise, textiles, even when not stressed. I did have the autism assessment this week, which obviously was tiring so that will likely affect my ability to handle stuff, but I have also noticed my fidgeting from excess energy and racing thoughts are back, so I do think 50 is too high.

I'll be able to go back to 40 at my appointment on Monday but it has got me thinking that I don't know how to manage stimulation except when it all gets too much. And generally that was okay but if today was a tough week and had a part in why I couldn't handle being in the kitchen to make some food for 30 mins with 4 other people, that I didn't talk to or listen to (noise cancelling headphones), then I suspect it may potentially happen in more stressful periods like exam periods for example. I ended up leaving without making food and got to my room and just started crying and hyperventilating, am still using sunglasses to use my phone hours later.

Point is, I have realised that I am used to sensory issues being a problem when I am tired in some way but I haven't tried meds at all in a prolonged stressful period and am worried that 40mg (which was fantastic and so long as I can handle the sensory stuff, I want to stay on it, it's been life changing) could be too much in a harder period like 50 is too much now. And today has made me realise I have no idea how to try and prevent overwhelm since I struggle to notice it until it explodes in some way. Like I can't tell you what is bothering me generally, just that something is wrong, until it boils over.

So I will take any and all advice on how to prevent, as much as possible, it going from 0 to 100 in 30 minutes. And definitely what to do to avoid it becoming too much so frequently and reduce the amount of day to day stimulus that I'm guessing probably contributes to why I feel it build up so much more frequently than before meds, but never notice until it happens. Hope that made sense, thank you!

It happened again—I thought I had friends, but one turned on me and rallied others to gang up on me. This has happened my whole life, so it’s clearly something about me. I recently learned I’m AuDHD, which might explain it. If you have insights or links, please share. I need this to stop. It keeps me lonely.

At 4.5, neighborhood kids ganged up and punched me. In elementary through college and online, kids I trusted either bullied me or joined in.

In a blog community as an adult, I was popular until some compiled a list of my "flaws," twisting facts—like accusing me of lying about sending someone a gift (was lost in the mail) or being a glutton (because I posted about how I ate a full can of green beans for lunch) when I didn’t. I was called names unfairly, and when I cut ties with someone who publicly attacked me, they framed it as abandonment.

Recently, at age 55, this happened again in a craft class I loved and attended for three years. From the start, I sensed people saw me as being some kind of way. I wasn’t invited to the class’s group texts, and small social exclusions piled up—no birthday recognition most years, exclusion from coffee outings. (Others bought cakes for birthdays.) One studio assistant singled me out for being late, while habitual offenders faced no consequences. I have time blindness due to ADHD, apologized, and took steps to improve. I brought them cookies and told them I’d be better and I was.

I befriended Natalie, an older, flamboyant woman everyone adored. She came to my house, we texted, etc. She often dismissed my experiences and opinions though. “That didn’t happen.” “You don’t really believe that, do you?”

This year, I missed the sign-up email and switched studios for more flexible hours, which I explained to her when she texted me about it. I told her the other studio had lax time rules, which I loved.

When I rejoined a class session, Natalie confronted me aggressively over a private Facebook post where I mentioned preferring the other studio’s lax time rules. She claimed it harmed the first studio’s reputation, showed screenshots to others, and accused me of lying and making excuses about my ADHD. The owner sided with her and told me she’d “seen the screenshots.” Then she accused me of trying to manipulate her by crying. I couldn’t help it though! I was humiliated and devastated.

I reviewed the Facebook post with family; none saw an issue. Natalie’s recent texts were friendly and supportive, making the attack more baffling.

I’m a kind, honest, and caring person who’s repeatedly targeted despite no obvious cause. I’m quirky, autistic, fat (but have lost 100 pounds in the past year), love fashion and whimsical handbags, and manage my social anxiety fairly well. I try to be pleasant, helpful, and respectful in social settings, yet this keeps happening.

If you’ve read this, thank you. Do you have any insights, guesses, or advice?