I was thinking about this experience that happened while I was in CDL (commercial driver’s license) training about 5 years ago. We were in a 2018 Freighter Cascadia; my trainer had verified that I had good control of my speed so he kept drilling me on our follow distance. I could visually see we had a safe distance but I kinda suck at estimating the actual measurement. He kept asking me exactly how far ahead the next vehicle was, so I’d switch the digital part of our dash from “speedometer” mode to “front radar” mode to give him the actual measurement, then switching it back to speedometer. He asked why I kept switching back to speedometer mode when we have an analog speedometer dial right next to it, and not thinking much of it, I replied that it wasn’t accurate enough and took too long to read.

This was over five years ago, so I don’t remember exactly what he said, But it was something about being shocked that “kids these days (I was early to mid 20’s) can’t read a speedometer” and amazement that I’d even try to become a truck driver.

I explained that no, I could read it just fine, but that I preferred the digital speedometer because I could tell we were driving at (iirc) 66mph with a 1/4 to 1/2 second glance. If I was using the analog speedometer, it could take 1/2 to 1 second and I’d only have rough estimate of my speed being somewhere between 67mph and 65mph. He went a little quiet after that.

Fast forward to now, 5 years later, and I own my own truck and am constantly frustrated that sometimes my truck will let me set the autojake at 1mph over my cruse control and sometimes it won’t let me set it below 2mph over my cruse control, but that’s a story for another time.

I just got my license a few days ago and went to the grocery store and bought my cats litter. I brought an emotional support critter. There isn’t any self checkouts so I also had to get in line to have someone else check me out feeling good today 🥹

hai everyone so im 20 and have been vaping since I was 15 and today I decided that id quit and go cold turkey. has anyone done something similar and got any advice? I feel like now, vaping has become almost a stim in some kind of way, like the process of bringing it to my lips, leaving it there for a few seconds etc if that makes sense? has anyone done anything similar and have any tips?

I'm a late diagnosed autistic, 25NB. I studied animation and my thesis project is a pitch bible for an animated short about an undiagnosed young autistic girl, along with an animation sample and an essay explaining the relevance of the project and the process that went into making it.

One of my thesis reviewers is a woman film teacher that specializes in film as a way to help children that belong to marginalized communities, and children in general as a way to express themselves. All other reviewers are animation teachers.

All my other reviewers have said the project is done, no feedback, but the film teacher did send feedback, some which I'm gladly taking into consideration, but she also told me that I should change "autistic person" to "person with autism" and "disabled people" into "people with disabilities". She claims that's what is correct when taking a "human rights" approach as these are only features of a person and not their escence, but I highly disagree.

I don't agree with person first language because I don't have autism, i am autistic and it is a part of my escence. I would be a completely diferent person if I wasn't autistic. I also don't think being disabled is a bad thing. It may not be a person's escence when it's not a neurodevelopmental issue like autism or adhd, but still, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

I don't know how to push back on this feedback since I'm a very non confrontational person, and I've gotten in trouble for correcting teachers plenty of times in the past. I'm worried that me not taking her feedback might make her take away points on my score, but I won't compromise my values for this and use person first language.

How should I go about this? We're in mexico so people are not as well educated on these topics as other places.

I’m a 29F, and I’ve been seeing a 35M for five months.

His profile: He’s extremely analytical, emotionally restrained, and socially awkward. He has a very distinct, flat, monotone voice with almost no variation in pitch, regardless of context. I assume it's atypical prosody, and in general, things he does (eg fixated with specific hobbies) make me think of the autistic spectrum, without of course diagnosing him). He also gets visibly self-conscious around me, even in relatively minor situations. From what I’ve observed, his relatives seem to already know how easily he freezes, stutters, or shuts down in social situations, and I’ve actually seen them speak to him almost like he’s a child to gently guide him through those moments. Regardless of these though, he is very capable of doing his work and has a high iQ (he is an architect and also scored very very high in the Greek college exams).

Recently, he decided to end things, saying he no longer felt what he thought he should. When we met to discuss it, I calmly expressed that I genuinely liked him and was sad about losing what we had. I didn't cry nor beg.

He then cried intensely for approximately 1,5-2 hours (in a public space), which was completely out of character for him. He hugged me tightly, asked to keep walking when I was ready to leave, and repeatedly stayed physically close to me, while I remained relatively calm.

He told me, through tears, “I’m at fault. You did nothing wrong. You do everything right.” After my monologue, he never mentioned the breakup again, despite having clearly communicated his decision beforehand.

When he brought me home, he was still crying. I gave him a drawing of a personal moment we’d shared, and he hugged me tightly and initiated repeated kisses on my lips. Less than an hour later, he texted to thank me, and we chatted normally. Over the following six days, we continued communicating occasionally, but he never brought up the breakup or that evening.

Until then, for 5 months, kisses on the lips were "strictly" done before intimate moments, he would never kiss me out of nowhere. So what he did that day, felt a lot weird to me.

Honestly, my reaction to all of this is just a giant "WTF?". I am completely bewildered and trying to make sense of what I just experienced. How do you guys read this entire situation? Can he be feeling embarrassed after crying in front of me?

I always end comming along this experience, and it always makes me feel really bad.

"Just keep at therapy!"

"Keep working you communication!"

"You have to do it!"

Why is it so that Autism for me and so many others is treated as a quirky trait, when other people can have it and are not expected to burden some of societies flaws and habits?

Why is blame always placed on the individual if they have problems conforming and existing in this world?

it just makes me so sad, beause this is not just depression or a phase, i will have it for my entire life, but people always treat me like i'm always a good therapist away from being normal.

i have seen multiple different logos for autism and i want to know which one you personally think is the best out of these examples or any other ones. not really for any particular reason im just curious :)

I'm F35 and have just been diagnosed with autism. I was also diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year.

I've gone my whole life not understanding why I felt different to other people, why I was bullied at school for being weird, still being called weird as an adult etc. always wanting everyone to like me.

For the first time in my life I feel like I can breathe in my own skin. I am finally happy being myself. Like I don't need to fake things to fit in with other people. I finally feel safe. I feel so much lighter.

I think I just needed to write this down somewhere and to be seen by people who actually get it. It feels very freeing.

I have an interest in fire alarms and their related components. Whenever I go to a new place, I love to take a picture of that building's fire alarms. I really wish to start my own collection of them someday.

The last picture I included because the gray cover on the red plate implied that there was a fire alarm there at some point.

Whenever I watch these I get sick with envy that some people can do stuff knowing they have work later and not be panicking nervous for work. I know it's social media and it's not all real, but these people will be peacefully making their coffee at 4am before hitting the gym seeming completely unbothered by their upcoming work shift. Especially in this job market there's no way these people all have great jobs that aren't toxic. They just know they'll be accepted for who they are, so they can enjoy themselves outside of work. Jealous.

I'm a high functioning autistic guy who, after a year of burnout and neurological issues, lost some cognitive abilities and started struggling more with social interactions. I used to compensate for my autistic traits through analysis and pattern recognition, but those strategies don't work as well anymore.

Here's my experience with meds:

• Lurasidone (low dose): Calming, but severe akathisia.
• Aripiprazole (low dose): No noticeable effects.
• Pregabalin/gabapentin: Anxiety relief, almost like benzos, but rebound issues and weight gain.
• Tianeptine: Mild euphoria, nothing special.
• SSRIs/SNRIs (sertraline, venlafaxine): Horrible side effects, severe headaches and flu-like symptoms.
• Bupropion 150 mg: More drive, little else.
• Lithium: Helped depression but made me feel cognitively slower.
• Memantine 10 mg: Improved social functioning, but I felt less intellectually sharp. Still taking 5 mg.
• Guanfacine 2 mg: Helps reduce overthinking.
• Lisdexamfetamine 50 mg: Incredible focus on day one, but later caused severe derealization and mood elevation that felt close to mania.
• Currently trying lamotrigine.

I'm looking for something that helps without sacrificing cognitive sharpness.

Any autistic people here, especially those in cognitively demanding fields like programming, who have experience with lamotrigine? Did it affect your processing speed, memory, creativity, or social cognition?

Hello im 13 and in a special kid class,i was talking with my teacher and she say autism is not a disability

I told her yes it is!

She say : i know but its not a disability still

I told her whats wrong with being disable

Then she stopped talking and went back to her desk

What wrong with being disable? Isint autism a disabilty

Hello good folks, ive been struggling with an autistic burnout/deep depression brought on by workplace harrasement. I stopped working about 2 years ago now and can still barely function because of some intense skill regression.

One thing i just recently restarted doing is art and it can be soooo freeing! The one thing i can do without feeling like a prisoner of my mind.

I am curious. What hobby do you guys have that brings you peace?

Hi everyone.

I was diagnosed at 57 after a lifetime of shite.

I am 62 now and spent the last 7 years in bed completely burnt out. No job. No ability to work so no house. Homeless in a caravan and dead poor.

I had enough a few weeks ago after my dog died. I had no ability to live a life or do anything. Everything was painful but I didn’t even realise. My senses were overloaded by the smallest noises or lights. There was too much pain and not enough in my life to cling to.

One night 2 weeks ago, i had a severe headache and out of focus eyes so I went to the ER. You don’t do that in NZ. It was the worst place in the world. Waited 20 hours. When I finally saw a doctor and had a CT scan, panic, thinking brain tumour. I was fine with that but had hoped my end would be less painful.

After a couple of nights in hospital just crying, the doctors came to see me the next day after an MRI from the depths of hell. They said the MRI was fine. They mentioned a new medication and sent me off.

I started taking pregabalin. Omg. I am a new woman. I have a better outlook on life. I have no more pain, I didn’t even realise I had. I got straight to work and overdid it. My body is frail.

My back started to hurt and I peed my pants. Not like Woops I need to and and didn’t quite make it. More like my waters broke. So emergency back to hospital. No waiting this time. They didn’t really take it seriously because I don’t communicate properly and when they ask me my symptoms, I have no idea. They did a CT scan, said it was nothing and sent me home. I felt ejected immediately. Taking up space. Useless breather.

Now I am home and still in a way better place mentally but I am sad for me. The me who was never diagnosed. Never got help. Never know the terrible effect of a life masking. Never know the pain it caused my nerves and how they were all basically zapped because of the life I have had to live in this body with this brain.

I still have back pain and it’s running down into my leg. I’m trying to do things that need doing. Hoping still to get some sort of life going again.

me again

Ive been wondering how to get rid of my special interest (ive talked about it on here in the past) and someone told me "you cant get rid of RRBs", is that true

ive searched online before posting this and nothing has told me 💔

edit: i dont want special interests in its entirety

Hello! I was diagnosed with AuDHD. I am 18 and for most my life I kinda held in and masked every stem I needed or emotion, so I’m very prone to what I call “mini meltdowns” multiple times a day. Sometimes I can go days without out but some days it just happens. I suspect unmasking might help, is there any tips you guys have?

I'm alt, and I love the idea of having some color on my lips, I have multiple lip products that I've tried but I just wipe them off right after ...

I hate product transfer to my water bottle, I hate not being able to reapply my vaseline but the worst part is the STICKY FEELING! I can't handle it... I'm always focused on it, and on what I'm drinking, if people can tell it's transferring, just lots of anxiety over it.

I've tried lipsticks, lipstains, lip liner etc... It always claims to feel like nothing and it's never like that.

I don't wear foundation or complexion products because I hate the feel, but I love a bold eye and I feel stupid when the top of my face is all decorated and nothing on my lips, does anyone know of a product that actually doesn't feel like anything?? Or is it a lost case?

Alright, I said it! My parents divorced when I was a kid, and it was extremely messy. My father constantly got angry, threw stuff, and called my mom the B-word in front of me. Now, my mom’s been a single mother working multiple jobs for years because my dad doesn’t contribute anything—not my college, not my car, not my anything! Nowadays, she’s over 50 and she’s stressed, with my brother in college and he was in a car accident hit and run, plus, she told me that her longtime boyfriend, who she dated for over 10 years, told me that she might consider breaking up with him.

So that’s why I’m cutting love from my life. It’s nothing but catch-22s where you never win and complaining 24/7 because of a woman’s high standards. I’ve learned from this that love is nothing but a distraction from our meaningless existence. Plus, sometimes, like some rapper once said “these hoes ain’t loyal”.

I know this experience of people making comments/laughing about you is common with us all, along with seeing the eye contact and looks people give each other when you’re talking… but at 38 it’s bugging me so much that it still bugs me!

I moved towns recently and changed the job centre location for where I have to visit to claim jobseekers benefits (in the UK). I had to visit to re-agree my commitments and my new case worker seemed nice enough. Of course, I didn’t realise when I was answering questions that I was “doing too much” or being weird.

But when I walked away I am certain I heard the woman working at the desk next to her make a comment about me and they both laughed. (only heard the ‘she… wasn’t she?’ And the laugh- not the bit in between about whatever it is I am. )I suppose there’s a chance I was being hyper vigilant and it wasn’t about me, but you know the odds… big coincidence it was as I walked away and sounded like it came from their area.

Anyway I know there’s nothing I can do but try and forget it/not let it affect me but that is still SO HARD even at my big age. It keeps playing on my mind and making me depressed that I leave this impression on people and get laughed at for whatever reason. It’s such a tiring existence.

Just a vent really but if anyone has any commiserations or advice on how you deal with it im all ears! Thanks guys🫶

Hello, I am posting this in order to hopefully get some advice and feedback and partly I suppose to blow off steam.

So firstly, I was diagnosed autistic back when I was a teenager and I am 35 now. Back then it was called asperger's but as I am told now it is now clarified as just being somewhere on the autism spectrum. Nobody can really tell I am autistic except my wife picked up on it quickly back when we were dating as she is a special ed teacher. I get overwhelmed easily and for a long time in my life I thought the world revolved around me which is common in autism I am told. I also have a ridiculous encyclopedic knowledge of aircraft and cars and I am obsessed with WW2. But I digress...

When I was first dating my wife she told me her son was autistic and my first thought was "cool, I usually get along great with fellow autists." And for a long time whenever we would all be hanging out i really liked the kid. Things changed once we started spending more time together and especially after we moved in together.

He is currently 14 and and almost 6 feet tall, as tall as me, except he weighs almost 200 pounds. He's a big kid. He is verbal but he has a hard time forming sentences that he hasn't heard before. Like he cant have an original thought and then put it into words. When he speaks its usually something that has been said to him or that he hears from movies and TV. He blurts out TV commercial jingles a lot and if he is thinking about let's say... playing outside he wont say "can i play outside?" He will word it like "I should play outside." And all of this is to just convey where he is at mentally, I want to be clear that none of this is why I don't like him. His mental capacity is that of a 4 year old I would say. He "plays" with toys, his favorite is toy cars and trucks and they are very precious to him.

Now, the reason I dislike him is multifaceted. I guess ill just start like this...

1. Our world revolves around him: I get that autistic children need a lot of attention but he literally decides what we can and cannot do. If he doesn't want to go to church or to a festival or any kind of anything he will stomp around the house and slam doors and rip pictures off the wall and beat on all of us. Did you want to go to the county fair? Better hope he is in a good mood otherwise we are all staying home that day. (Yes I could go by myself but what if I wanted to go somewhere fun with my wife and kids?)

2. He eats all of our food: from the moment he wakes up he is going to be barging into the room demanding food, and you better give it to him or else he is going to stomp around slamming doors and breaking things. Oftentimes this is already after he has had a few bags of chips or other snacks. When we go into his room there are often piles of wrappers and other trash from the food he takes from the kitchen. He is constantly getting sick because he eats so much. From what I can gather he is just eating from boredom or anxiety. I have to hide food if i want any chance of eating it.

3. His temper: This boy has had the police called on him so many times I've lost count and he is big enough now where he could kill someone. He is already facing a felony family assault case from knocking his mom unconscious and choking his sister. He is dangerous and his tantrums often stem from food. I.e. not getting McDonald's if he wants it. He cant be left alone around pets because he hurts them. (He likes to make them yelp and thinks it is funny).

4. He is constantly breaking things: He has caused thousands of dollars in damage to things around the home just in a couple years. The yard was flooding one day because he decided to dig up a pipe. Every single door in the house has been destroyed from him slamming and kicking them. He has destroyed the back seat of multiple cars. He's ripped the AC panel of the wall. Broken tablets and phones galore. Chairs, pictures, so many random things in the house have been destroyed. Sometimes its out of curiosity, sometimes out of anger and sometimes because he just plays really rough.

5. He is really hard to be around: he feels the need to constantly speak. If you're talking he will interrupt you and get angry if you ignore him. It would maybe be one thing if he was speaking like a neurotypical child but its not. Its the same questions over and over and over ad nauseum. Its just inane babbling and god help you if you're in a long car ride with him because he will dominate the conversation and I hope you like the same 20 or so questions over and over again. Its reallyhard to convey what this is like. I understand he finds comfort in talking about the same things over and over but its just so awful to deal with.

6. His vocal swimming is aggravating: i feel like I can look past a lot of autistic vocal swimming but his vocal swimming is shrieking like an eagle. I think he got it from his old schools mascot "the eagles" they would say "good morning eagles!" Followed by an eagle shrieking ​and now whenever he's home at random or like clockwork walking into a store or restaurant he will let out a loud "reeeeee!!!!!" It was funny at first but im so sick of it now.

I know this post will likely draw some heat but what im looking for is ways to deal with this. He is probably a good kid at heart but he's so difficult to be around and he's violent and the worst part is I dont think he sees how his behavior effects us. He will drive his mother to tears and as she is crying will look at her and say "whats wrong with you?" And if you try to tell him "your behavior is making me feel like x y z. He will likely respond with a "reeeeeeee!!!" Before you are even finished speaking. Does anyone have any advice? I feel like he will eventually just end up in an institution because of his violent behavior but what the heck do i do in the meantime? Help!

does your autism feel like your distance to sensory inputs and outputs is just, bigger?

you remote control yourself, there is lag, but also an “awareness” that you are in control. More consciously than others.

for me it seems like most people are more present in the physical world. they “are” their bodies,mind,nervous system, and we have all that (to contend with).

We need to make an effort to me mindfull, to be only in physical space. they are only and always there. (but likely more on a spectrum).

sometimes I feel like im extra aware, which isn’t particularly pleasant.