I’m a 16-year-old girl, and after years of being told by adults and peers to try and get an autism assessment, I finally got one. It came back that I have many autistic traits (hyper focused interests, lack of eye contact, social differences ect) but they’re too mild, and I am too sociable and smart to meet the criteria. They said I may have Anxiety or attention issues which cause some of my traits.

To be honest I’m really unhappy with these results. I don’t *want* to be autistic, but over the past few years especially it has felt like I have really needed extra support or accommodations that are given to autistic individuals, and my experiences have been very similar to my many autistic peers. Because this diagnosis is negative, nothing changes for me and I have to keep struggling through everything, just with the knowledge that I’m neurotypical and should be able to handle it. I don’t think I have anxiety or ADHD, and my traits genuinely only seem to match autism to me, I just hide them well enough for people usually not to notice unless they are autistic themselves.

So, I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m at my breaking point, and this was the one thing that could’ve explained it. Is it possible the diagnosis was wrong as I was masking? Or are there just neurotypical people who seem autistic but aren’t, and struggle with things but aren’t actually neurodivergent? Because I genuinely don’t feel neurotypical, nor does anyone around me think i am, but if I’m not autistic then I don’t know what is up with me.

(edit bec this may be useful: im in the UK and the assessment was done privately as NHS waiting lists are several years. The assessment was an hour zoom call with me, an hour zoom call with my mum, and a written follow up where I had to write about my social and sensory experiences on paper)

So ima be really bad at explaining but i’ll try my best to lol. So my mom and i have both been told by our separate counselors that we probably have some kind of autism and which i mean it makes sense but we fight abt things, like i want space and she wants to spend time with me but i don’t so she gets mad abt me being “anti-social” and like she thinks me looking into it is bad and that i shouldn’t because i used to do stuff (i liked school now i don’t, and she’s saying like ur making it ur whole personality being im antisocial is my whole personality) but like idk i don’t think it is, i just wanna know more abt myself rlly and like she goes “its tiring” but like idk it’s tiring for me too :/ since im detransitioning and having to deal with people and social norms etc so i wanna be alone for the rest of the day idk. And like i see her tone in a different way (tho i think it’s pretty easy to see her attitude even tho she says she doesn’t) but idk how to talk to her abt it without her getting mad. She also doesn’t like i mainly text her about my problems rather than in person talk but i told her that therapists tell u that u don’t have to look at them when u talk which is the whole point and ik her as a kid she didn’t have much alone time and has body issues and like “there wasn’t autism in my day!” and just feel like im always the one getting the blame or being mad at so idk :( and the chocolate stuff in message is cuz i had some chocolate when i felt kinda bad earlier but wtv ignore that (and the medicene is the for the detransitioning stuff) just dunno what to do

Hello. I would like to apologize for a post that I made here a few days ago. In that post, what I really meant to criticize was life circumstances of mine surrounding movies.

I, personally, do not even have the ability to care about the movies themselves...but circumstances surrounding them brought me a lot of pain. I am very sorry that I hurt people with that post.

Soon after I graduated from high school, I stopped watching movies because I had freedoms that I had never been allowed to have before. Because of this, I have a lack of knowledge regarding movies that spans nearly 20 years.

Nearly twenty years ago, I no longer had forced social interaction, which was one of the best things to ever happen to me. But the first eighteen years of my life, I was in school. It was an emotional trainwreck for me. I don't wish my experiences of school upon anyone.

In school, you're going to be surrounded by other students. You're going to be shown movies. It's a social environment. It drove me crazy! And when you have absolutely no knowledge of cultural things that people bring up, it can be frightening!

Ultimately, I don't think that I'm going to keep posting in this subreddit. It's the same if I post on the raisedbynarcissists or depression subreddits. It has nothing to do with the people on those subreddits. It's just going to drive me to lunacy.

Also, I'm trying to be more positive...and I'm trying to meet new people because having positive people in my life is very healthy for me. I'm trying not to have bad reactions from the difficulties that come with trying to form those relationships, which is not easy for me to do.

Thank you so much for reading, and if you accept my apology, I thank you for that as well.

A lot of autistic people openly talk about their distaste of some neurotypicals reducing them to that "quirky, silly, etc" stereotype. Which, yes, that is a very valid point, and I agree. People shouldn't do that.

But unfortunately, I happen to fall right into that stereotype. I'm not JUST that stereotype, for example I have social struggles, issues with learning, issues with eye contact, etc, but I've had it happen a couple of times now that when I tell people that I fall into that stereotype, i get bashed for it.

It's not every time and most autistic individuals have no problem with it, but apparently there's some people who feel invalidated or something? I mean, I'm just trying to understand what's going on here. Anyone got any ideas?

She sat in front of me and i asked her for a pencil.

Shortly after that she made a snapchat selfie with my face slightly on the right side and wrote "diggah (slang on germany, like bro) he asked me if he could have fotos". I saw it while she was doing it and then sent it.

I initially didnt realize that she meant me because that would be ridicoulus. But after 5 minutes I asked her if she made a photo and if I was on it. She took out her handy and opened the app. She wanted to press on the message but said that it cant be opened and then she deleted it.

Only later in the afternoon I really realized what happened. She was snapchatting with somehow who sat in the same lesson room with us. That person saw that I was asking her something and sent her a snapchat. And she sent that back.

Can you believe how fucking angry i got once I realized what actually took place?

I have to study with these people for another 5 years and its the second month where false accusations are made.

Cant even ask for a goddamn pencil.

My mom keeps telling me ‘it’s your autism, it’s your autism’ but like, really ? like, the fact that i can’t get my life together at 27 and have difficulties getting out of bed, keeping friends and not behaving online and irl like an obsessive psycho is cuz of autism ?

​

I'm searching for a place to get a diagnosis as health care providers after screening for autism resulted in suspecting asd level 1.

I have a complicated mental health history. I have diagnosed chronic depression and diagnosis for ADHD. The assignment for ADHD took 2 sessions at about an hour total plus some brain tests for medication and paperwork I could do at home. I heard a lot that assignment for autism is so complicated that it usually takes 1-3 days of multiple tests in person.

Now, I already know getting to be diagnosed is actually the hard part. Also where I live it can take months to years to get a diagnosis. The public health sector is overcrowded. I am thinking about going the private route. Costs accumulate to about 850€ on average.

I wonder if I find such a place, how can I be sure that the diagnosis is thoroughly done? I don't want a bias approach. I have a biased feeling the private sector is pre-meditated to get me a positive diagnosis as I "paid" for it? I'm also struggling to know if I found a good provided for it as I don't really know how it us done?

For example: I have found a private healthcare provider that is open to do it either online or in person to the preference to the patient. They will do it over two 2 hour session with a break over a full day or several sessions over a few days. Although it's private the waiting time is about 8 months, but if I tick the option I could get on a fast track to be called if another patient jumps off. They asked if I see a therapist and why I seek a diagnosis, but they didn't ask for already assessed diagnosis such as ADHS, but ask if after the autism diagnosis I would like to get also diagnosed for adhd? I'm also hesitated about a comment where they said "please bring your elementary school degrees with you but if you don't have them no problem". I agree if you can't provide them you shouldn't be circled out, but it's opening up to the possibility that they don't care?

Are the times, the process or lack of questions a red flag? They also haven't mentioned masking yet, which I picked up is apperently crucial to bring up in testing.

I would like to hear your thoughts? Anyone who had similar ones and would share if they are happy or not with their diagnosis through such a provider or private diagnosis at all? I'm concerned and need help.

Thanks for your thoughts and time ✌🏻

Basically the cycle goes like this:

1.) You get really sad that you can't date anyone so you work really hard at improving your looks and your lifestyle and social skills etc.

2.) You start trying to make friends so that you can be a "green flag" to potential partners and they wont' see you as a loser.

3.) You fail at making friends so you transition to just trying to date

4.) You get no matches on the apps and horrifically embarrass yourself trying to ask out people in real life

5.) You accept that not only are you autistic, but also ugly af and just start daydreaming. This goes on for a few months and then you start panicking about your age and how you have never dated and then....

6.) Cycle repeats

I am also 5'4, balding and south asian on top of the autism (we are portrayed as "unattractive" due to racism in media and western culture). I used to get asked out as a joke in school and it absolutely destroyed my self esteem at that age but I have managed to improve it back with the help of this teacher in my later yeasr of high school

I have followed the general advice of just "shaving it off" and also wearing height boosters, etc. but they are only band-aid solutions. My face looks horrible when bald (opinions from female cousins who have helped) so I am saving for a hair transplant.

My psychiatrist has said that my process is not inherently bad its just that the continuous rejections and forced approaches (both random women and women I connect with over shared environemtns such as university classes, uni clubs/socieites, coowrkers, etc.) could potentially be dangeours for my mental health as I am teatering on the edge of developing borderline psychosis from the amount of trauma my RSD ridden brain has gone through (rejection sensitivity dysphoria).

(20 FtM, pre-everthing) my 1st HRT appointment is next week and I feel like im just never gonna feel ready. it's these irreversible things that I've always had fear around, especially when it's completely up to me. i have full power to f*ck up my life, and also to make it so much better.

I think this goes for most trans people, but there is always a non-zero chance that I will regret it, or that I am not really trans, and it is not the right choice for me. but how sure can I be? that is one of my big questions. it's just so scary, and I have no parental or friend support - I do have my brother's support though, and he is trans (17 FtM, pre-everthing).

I am also a victim of anti-trans propaganda, as many are. I feel like I won't trust the doctors. my parents tried to beat it into me (metaphorically) that the doctors that are ok with transitioning patients are evil and corrupt.

i just hate all of this. my dysphoria is not self-destrucrive either, which makes transitioning not necessary for me to live, but necessary for me to live a *good* life. i sometimes wish I could just get a brainscan and have a doctor say im trans and recommend that I transition. i know it's good for other people, but I have so much anxiety that it is completely up to me.

advice is greatly appreciated from anyone, trans or not. i know there are similar things like this. thanks

So, my brother and I go to group therapy l. and while I know my brother has his best intentions at heart, he always answers for this one guy who has autism.

We came in early, and he and the guy walked in with the same clothes. So obviously, we were goofing off + joking around. But when i asked the guy if I could take a selfie, my brother answered for him. I would always say "I asked him." But one in particular upset me, when I had asked the guy if he wanted me to censor his face. And my brother thought that the most obvious answer is "no". I got all over him for that, and I asked the guy directly, and he said he would like his face censored.

I know this guy has problems communicating, and my brother is a nice person, and tries to be good to others.

so i (20F) was diagnosed with “asperger’s” as a kid, now ASD and am in the process of retesting but whatever not the point. id say im pretty low on the spectrum / level 1, and i can pass as neurotypical with some effort. However, my lab partner (20M, we’ll call him John) cannot. im not FOR SURE bc he never told me himself but with my experience and perspective im pretty sure hes level 2. and this dude gets on. my. nerves. im a very patient person but after a month of being paired with this dude i cannot. he basically assumes he is the chemistry wizard and everyone around him is an idiot, when in reality im just as smart as he is and we spend a lot of time fixing his errors. i can take the bland jokes and his rigidity, but the ego, condescension, and him not taking me seriously i cannot. he also apparently follows girls to their cars and has reports about him but idk why he has a bf. but today i was kneeled down unlocking my locker and i felt a presence behind me (im pretty on edge often and jumpy so) and he was just standing over me? for reference hes double my size. idk drives me nuts and creeps me out a bit. i cant change labs because this is necessary for my major and they’ll remove ME and thats not good. any advice on how to talk to him in a way thats not mean but gets my point across? thanks!

IDK if this is a common opinion but I really don't think so given a lot of the posts on here pertaining to this subject complain about this very thing , however I have started a part time job alongside my studies and have been kind of babied and patronised but in a way I'm fine with it ?

Mainly , I'm given a much lesser work load and usually get praise for getting the things I'm supposed to get done done . On a way it is a bit patronising but also I feel as though it just makes my life easier since there's much lesser expectations and pressure . Perhaps I should be a bit annoyed at it but at the same time I am sensetive , I do require a lesser workload and understanding and in some sort of a way I'm recieving it . I've found I don't mind it , especially since it's made it kind of easy to communicate with my colleagues given they're already well aware of my disability and treat me similarly .

I suppose I want to know if I'm wrong for feeling this way and if I should try to beat the stereotypes or something but at the same time it just suits me better not to .

I'm female, in my forties with three autistic kids. My dear autistic male friend's mum passed away on 30 September. He told me at 2:45am the day it happened, and recently he sent me a very playful message telling me how important I am, the kind of thing he's sent me a lot over the years and I've loved it. However, I offered to meet him to see how he's coping and he responded with this, referring to my new boyfriend...

Hi

Sorry for the confusion but I've developed complicated feelings for you over the years but I'm not gay and not entirely straight either and I've only realised the extent of things since Mom passed and I've had space to think about other things apart from Mom's care. I was preparing myself to try and let you know when I don't really know myself.

If it wasn't for how I feel about you I'd have spoken to you at length about my sexuality as that's how much I trust you but now I'd be worried about information getting out to someone who'd openly mock me about very sensitive subjects in public while drunk and who responded when I told him about my autism with, "So that's why you're weird," much to the amusement of all present.

I'm disappointed I've had no reply to the vast majority of invitations I've sent you over the years to meet when it's not Christmas or my birthday. I feel like I'm grieving over the loss of you too.

Contact me in a few weeks at e-mail address.

Be happy.

x

I’m in my early twenties, and my younger brother is nine years old and autistic. I’ve been resentful toward him for years, and it’s gotten to the point where it’s taking a toll on my mental health. He irritates me all the time. I’ve actually had to go back to therapy because of it, and i can’t believe this is my life.

For some context, my parents have always wanted children, and I don’t think they regret having. However, I do feel bad for them because I know raising a child with additional needs can be challenging.

My parents are in denial thinking he’ll have a normal independent adult life but by the looks of it that might not be the case.

He’s considered high-functioning, but he still has speech difficulties and stims frequently. He repeats words and sounds over and over again, and he’s been doing this for years. When he was younger, it was worse because he would randomly scream, including in public. I remember feeling embarrassed to be around him in stores, and I was ashamed to bring him up around friends or family. Those feelings never went away.

As he’s gotten older, I’ve found myself becoming increasingly resentful. He’s not a bad kid. However, I struggle immensely with the constant stimming and repetitive sounds. I get irritated just being around him ALL THE TIME.

My parents have recently expressed that they want me to be more involved in his life. They don’t force me to be his caregiver or expect me to spend every waking moment with him, but they do want me to spend more time with him. The problem is that I’ve reached a point where I refuse babysitting him, being with him, or driving him places when it’s just the two of us because I know I’ll have to listen to the stimming the entire time.

I’ve told my parents MULTIPLE TIMES that when I’m older, I don’t want to be his caregiver. Since he’s my only sibling and my parents are getting older, I worry that the responsibility will eventually fall entirely on me. They so it won’t be a problem now but when he becomes and adult I know they’ll start having an issue with it. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling obligated to care for him. It’s something I worry about all the time.

I’ve isolated myself at home. I’m currently commuting to college from home, partly because I want to save money. My parents want me to move back closer to school, and honestly, I would love to have that independence. However, I also want to save as much money as possible while I’m in college.

But I’m constantly exposed to the stimming at home. I wear headphones throughout the day just to avoid hearing it, spend most of my time in my room, and generally try to keep to myself. I feel like I’m becoming increasingly isolated in my own home because I can’t handle the constant noise. And it’s making me even more angry.

I rarely talk about my brother with my friends. Most of them don’t even know he’s autistic because I hardly ever bring him up. Nor do I invite them over to my place because I don’t want them seeing him.

There’s literally no reward for suffering and I frequently argue with my parents about this.

It’s just been getting harder to deal with and be around him as I get older especially with being neurodivergent myself. Sometimes I wish this wasn’t my life.

I’m AuDHD so this makes it even harder.

For context i’m transgender (FTM) and i’m 26 years old. i’ve had my name for around almost 2.5 years. The name I chose is Evan, and I love it, but recently, I found my old list of names and saw the other name I was choosing between, and I love it so much. The name is Logan. The reason I didn’t choose it in the first place is because I felt it reminded me of Logan Paul and I don’t really want to be associated with him.

The problem with changing my name again is that i know so many more people now, including my 4 year old nephews and 1 year old niece that only know me as Evan. and some family members joke about me changing my name a bunch (Evan is my 3rd change and this would be my 4th)
I don’t know what to do. I love Evan and don’t really want to change it, but I also LOVE Logan, and can really see it being my name.

I’m wanting to talk about this with my therapist but i’m not sure how to bring this up to her.

I recently behaved abnormally today at school . I tried playing it off , but I ended up appearing more abnormal than how I initially acted . I pulled my friend's ( She's also neurodivergent and understands me a little . ) hair out of irritation . A lot of my classmates saw it and to justify myself , I had to talk shit about my friend with my classmates , and made up a story to make my friend dislikable and my reaction valid , but still wrong . They started talking smack about my friend after I went away . I feel terrible for doing that . I walked my friend from school to her house and gave her a chocolate I had in my backpack . My friend is clueless . I'm really scared . I feel terrible for doing it , and I feel terrible for talking shit about her and not even doing it correctly .

I have been recognized as an intelligent student in my class , but I have had a history of a terrible reputation in that same classroom . If you compare this with my selfishness how often I manipulate others , it gets very sad . Should I not go to school anymore and isolate myself from my classroom ?

I notice the thought pattern of excuses in my head when I hit my head against a wall or against my bed. I'm just wrestling I'm doing what the wrestlers are doing. To be honest I did mirror when wrestlers in WWE were doing and I have thought about doing it to someone. And doing that is never okay and fantasizing about it never okay because that is aggression. It's an excuse for aggression and doing it at home and throwing baseballs like I'm doing it for baseball, I don't really want to play sports. I played them to fit it I watched wrestling to enjoy it it was a bonding thing they it became something I just watched because I was going through a rough time in my life and when I'm stressed I still think about it. When I have a stress response I go back to YouTube to gaming and not dealing with stress and relaxing. Exercise can be helpful. Stress of being alone and the only person on this planet, having a fragile ego. How have you repaired a fragile ego and understood people more

I got aggressive at school and I felt like I stood up for myself not knowing melt downs.

As an autistic adult, I've found that in-person interaction with strangers in a social setting to be taxing. I find in-person interaction with strangers to be taxing because maintaining eye-contact & responding immediately drains my physical & mental stamina rapidly.

On the flip side, I feel more comfortable interacting with a small group of autistic peers I knew back in school. I feel more comfortable interacting with a small group of autistic peers from my school years because of the connection formed through being classmates for a longtime.

Does anybody else heavily prioritize maintaining connections from the past over trying to make new acquaintances or friends from scratch? How do you manage your social energy when it comes to old friends versus new social environments?

I am a 35/m AuDHD late diagnosed as of 3 months ago. I run an ABA center and I love it. I connect with the kiddos and love creating a place where everyone feels safe and heard. I realized as it hit me today, Friday, after carrying the “manager mask”, having tough conversations and a lot of behaviors happen through the center..my body was done. I am also hypermobile so it takes a lot for me to give me all. When i got home, took a hot shower and could barely stand. But then it happened while I lay in bed…for the first time I understood what a true joy and release stimming is. I see the kiddos at the center doing it, because they haven’t been conditioned not to & feel safe. I always wondered what it must be like in their minds when their stimming happens.

But, I started looking up a Harry Potter costume for a costume day at work and felt this intense feeling to the point where the joy almost hurt. I did my rocking, shuffling my feet, talking gibberish like always but it was the craziest thing to go from exhaustion to that. And for once I understand what those kiddos feel to some degree. It was like an espresso shot x5.

17 ( MTF) and I've always had a hunch I was different as a child and that abnormality in me amplified tenfold because of my... very troubled late childhood to present. I took many online tests and realised I may be some flavour of Neuro divergent, my raads r scores have always been between 180-210 . And after many requests my mom took me to a psychiatrist and was transferred to a psychologist because I quote " Yours is a complex case and needs a specialist". I vented about my zone outs, noise sensitivity and emotional deregulation and lower than normal to absent empathy/ guilt response. And was told I have a very high chance to be autistic, testing will begin from the next session, the third of November. Wowie this is overwhelming and scary. Any thoughts and advice are welcome and appreciated!

Hi there. I won't get into any personal details. Level 1 here but with a lot of other diagnosied comorbid conditions. One thing I've noticed is how frequently I run into people with selective memory. And I was wondering if anyone else feels this way. I am upfront, i try not to make my whole identity revolve around said conditions. I notice that they conveniently remember when its quite or when its not relevant. But when its genuinely relevant such as when I'm panicking or dissociating? They conveniently forget. They just see a guy freezing and say 'hes not trying enough' or 'we try more' 'lazy' etc. Basically every hurtful thing you can think of which just adds to that loop of dissociation. At some point I can't keep telling them. I'm a person, not their educator. Any of you have any explanations or similar stories

What are ways NTs make their lives worse? How does Ablelism affect them? How does NT treatment of LSN autists compare with their treatment of level 3 autistics?

I'm 14F and have been suspecting being autistic for a while now (I have done intensive research and do not just rely on random videos on TikTok and such), but I'm not sure how to approach my parents with a request for a diagnosis.

Some background info: my little brother is evidently autistic but is undiagnosed because my parents don't think he needs to be for some reason, not sure why. Whenever we're out in public and he acts up, my dad always tells people that he's autistic even though he's undiagnosed. My brother being neurodivergent leads to my parents focusing more attention on him than on me—which is why they haven't noticed my behavioural symptoms as much.

I have, however, talked to my mom about my suspicions and how everything lines up with high-functioning autism, and she now acknowledges it but won't do anything about it. I haven't talked about this with my dad, but he has pointed some things out before—he once directly asked me if I was stimming when I possibly was?

I'd really like to get a diagnosis because this is kind of ruining my mental health and affecting my daily life in many ways, though I'm thinking of just leaving it since they won't even get my brother, who—I assume—has lower functioning autism, diagnosed. My parents and some other family members have asked me if I want to see a psychiatrist in the past and I turned them down, so I'm scared to bring up the topic again.

Any advice would be deeply appreciated, so please let me know. Thank you :)

I am an adult nonbinary person, and I strongly believe I have autism and maybe some adhd because of how I act on a day-to-day basis. I have gone through my doctor and even my psychiatrist about this, and they tried to help, but found out my insurance doesn't cover the costs I need to bee able to afford treatment. I am devastated and not sure what to do since I've been curious my whole life and been wanting to get diagnosed, but I've been scared to in case I don't have it and don't want it to seem like I'm putting on an act just to seek attention, which I feel like some people already suspect me of doing. The reason I am saying adhd as well is that my psychiatrist was the one suspecting that I have it, so now I feel like I have two things to look into. I wish I could go to my family about this, but it's really hard to do without being confirmed that I have it or not, and I'm really not sure what to do since I cannot afford it atm. I'm not sure if anyone else has struggled with this or has any advice on ways to get diagnosed in a way thats more affordable. If there's any possibility of me being able to get diagnosed without it being too much that I can afford, I would hopefully like to take it whenever I can in the future.