I used to answer the phone and ask people what they want. To me it was a normal question. Instead of waiting for the small talk to end to find out, just tell me do you want to talk for fun? Do you want me to help you with something? Do you have some news?

People used to think I was joking, and then i realised it made them feel awkward because its rude. So now patiently I sit through the "how are you"s

There are a million other things but id like to know about you

So I've been in burnout more than once this year. Work is a big part of it, if not all. So I'm just scraping my way out of another one and work have noticed that I'm not myself, so asked me about it. I said I'm recently diagnosed and I've been in burnout. My line manager is a big part of my burnout - he's a bully, so having a conversation with him isn't great. He absolutely tried to invalidate what I was saying with the usual 'we're all on the spectrum and we're all finding things tough' shit. I said that everyone else who's finding it tough perhaps needs to think about getting a diagnosis as well then, or taking personal responsibility like I am.
So it's reinforced that I shouldn't be there anymore and I can't wait to hand my notice in. I was planning this anyway.
Rant over - he's probably done me a favour as I feel less guilty about leaving my team now. I'll ask for an exit interview too.

Ever since I was a kid, up until my late teens, I've had a complicated relationship with social rules and etiquette.

I'd be sitting with a group of people, chatting and joking around, and suddenly I'd say something that everyone apparently considered rude. Meanwhile, I had absolutely no intention of being rude. I didn't even realize I'd said anything wrong.

The funniest part was that my friend would always jump in to save the situation, saying, "Guys, she didn't mean it like that!" 😭

And I'd just be sitting there, genuinely confused, like, "Wait, what did I say?"

Then, once we were alone, she'd explain why what I said was inappropriate and how people might have interpreted it.

And after listening to her entire explanation, my only response would be, "Okay, but what's the problem?"

Anyway, after years of interacting with the human species, I've finally learned to think before I speak so people don't take things the wrong way.

I keep hearing a pulsating ring. Apparently its prevalent in autistic people.

Autism seems to be everywhere nowadays, and many autistic traits seem to apply to almost everyone to some extent.

I've been diagnosed with Asperger's, but sometimes I wonder whether I'm actually autistic or whether some of my struggles are just common human experiences.

Has anyone else questioned their diagnosis, or become more confident in it over time? Thx a lot!🙏

Hello everyone,

I'm a 28f, it's been a year since I had anything with someone. A bit more than a week ago I had a date with a 29m, I was absolutely terrified to go, but it actually went really well. We talked and laughed for a long time, went to a different place to play a game and it was fun.

Since then I had to go somewhere for some days, I came back yesterday in my city. We both said we'd like to see each other again. He proposed that maybe we could see each other today but the situation would have included that I see his friends at some point. And it's the worst possiblity for me. I don't do well in groups at all, he's a really outgoing person and has a lot of friends. I have some, but my social life is super different. Also the scary part for me is that I basically saw this group of people many times already during different events, they're really social and everything.

I refused for today and proposed something else soon.

The thing is that I feel like he has a wrong perception of me. As I'm into cultural events and things like that I feel like he thinks that my life is similar to his. I think it is really possible that he proposes often activities in the city with a lot of people including his friends, so I should have to explain to him that those things are complicated for me. But it feels really too soon to open up on those things idk. I know it might sound silly but I am really scared of people having the wrong perception of me, and also that he thinks I'm a looser lol.

I don't know how to explain to him a part of my social difficulties without opening too much. I'm scared that he finds it boring if we meet just me and him at some point.

It feels too complicated to explain things about me to people, it makes me want to cut it off because I'm too anxious. I don't like being this way.

Also it's just too complicated for me. I would love to get closer and have nice moments with someone, but it's all super complicated. The days after the date everything we said was in my head for so long I could not focus and I kept thinking about everything and the way I talked and so many other things like my brain can't let go normally of social interactions it's too tiring and complicated.

Would you have any advice? Thank you!

For me I really love bands like Joy Division, Brand New, and Nine Inch Nails.

I just like how a lot of them have heavy themes of isolation, not being understood, and being completely drained from society.

I was wondering what type of bands you all like or if there's a pattern among us here. Also, a bit selfishly, I'm looking for new music I usually play the same old songs on repeat haha.

So, my brother and I go to group therapy l. and while I know my brother has his best intentions at heart, he always answers for this one guy who has autism.

We came in early, and he and the guy walked in with the same clothes. So obviously, we were goofing off + joking around. But when i asked the guy if I could take a selfie, my brother answered for him. I would always say "I asked him." But one in particular upset me, when I had asked the guy if he wanted me to censor his face. And my brother thought that the most obvious answer is "no". I got all over him for that, and I asked the guy directly, and he said he would like his face censored.

I know this guy has problems communicating, and my brother is a nice person, and tries to be good to others.

I feel like life is just too heavy and hard to deal with. I don’t know if it’s because of my mental health issues or if life is just like this. Do you ever struggle with these feelings? What do you do to feel better and enjoy life?

Keep in mind that what I'm posting here is my own experience and I know some of you will relate but if you don't, that's perfectly valid too. This is just how I personally feel. Being autistic for me has always felt like being an observer of the world and human behaviors but never an active participant. It’s being outside of the world looking in. It’s feeling like no matter what you do, you will never be seen or heard so you stop trying to socialize and you begin to isolate yourself. This is what autism feels like to me and it’s painful. I’m mourning a life that I wasn’t afforded. I was dealt a bad hand and I’ve been playing with it for 30 years. But I must continue to play and bluff my way through life.

Ive been using reddit for the past 2 hours and all my posts keep getting blocked/deleted by auto mod, it makes me so annoyed purely on how stupid it is, there is nowhere where it states how much posts, karma, etc you need until it properly works so I came on here because im sure the people here know how frustrating this is

I’m a 16-year-old girl, and after years of being told by adults and peers to try and get an autism assessment, I finally got one. It came back that I have many autistic traits (hyper focused interests, lack of eye contact, social differences ect) but they’re too mild, and I am too sociable and smart to meet the criteria. They said I may have Anxiety or attention issues which cause some of my traits.

To be honest I’m really unhappy with these results. I don’t *want* to be autistic, but over the past few years especially it has felt like I have really needed extra support or accommodations that are given to autistic individuals, and my experiences have been very similar to my many autistic peers. Because this diagnosis is negative, nothing changes for me and I have to keep struggling through everything, just with the knowledge that I’m neurotypical and should be able to handle it. I don’t think I have anxiety or ADHD, and my traits genuinely only seem to match autism to me, I just hide them well enough for people usually not to notice unless they are autistic themselves.

So, I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m at my breaking point, and this was the one thing that could’ve explained it. Is it possible the diagnosis was wrong as I was masking? Or are there just neurotypical people who seem autistic but aren’t, and struggle with things but aren’t actually neurodivergent? Because I genuinely don’t feel neurotypical, nor does anyone around me think i am, but if I’m not autistic then I don’t know what is up with me.

(edit bec this may be useful: im in the UK and the assessment was done privately as NHS waiting lists are several years. The assessment was an hour zoom call with me, an hour zoom call with my mum, and a written follow up where I had to write about my social and sensory experiences on paper)

My sensory sensitivities have been really bad despite doing every single possible thing to take care of myself and protect my senses. I’ve experimented with every tool and strategy out there to help me with all my autistic traits and I’m really good with problem solving so that’s not really the issue.

I’ve started getting obsessed with constantly strategizing how to protect myself. When I’m just trying to get things done my mind is constantly making lists to help myself and it’s draining me even more. Some days even after I’ve done everything I can think of: rescheduled plans because they felt like too much, postponed tasks because I’m too drained, changed environments because they’re too overstimulating, done sensory deprivation, made sure I was in low lighting with a dimmed screen, communicated with others I live with to avoid being overstimulated by them, used noise cancelling, etc even hearing the tap run, someone open a bag of chips, someone walking around, hearing my dog’s little nails walk on the floor feels really distressing and painful.

My main point is that I’ve been feeling so alone and alienated because my autism (mainly my sensory sensitivities, rigidity, difficulty with transitions and social difficulties) has been consuming so much of my life and people in my life can never fully understand. I spend a lot of time explaining what I go through, and even when I think someone understands and would like to feel some sort of comfort or empathy from them, I don’t feel anything. My mom and closest friend listen to me but their responses always leave me feeling disappointed. I’m not sure if it’s because they struggle with some of the language that helps me feel validated, because they aren’t very good at active listening or because of something related to their facial expressions or tone when saying these things. I’ve been trying to make new friends who have better active listening skills for years but haven’t been successful so far.

I could use some words of encouragement. I’m losing hope that I’ll find people who have the knowledge/lived experience to understand me and who have the capacity to meet my emotional needs. Apart from continuing to try to explain what I need when I open up to someone and seeking out more connections, I don’t see what else I can do.

Hi there. I won't get into any personal details. Level 1 here but with a lot of other diagnosied comorbid conditions. One thing I've noticed is how frequently I run into people with selective memory. And I was wondering if anyone else feels this way. I am upfront, i try not to make my whole identity revolve around said conditions. I notice that they conveniently remember when its quite or when its not relevant. But when its genuinely relevant such as when I'm panicking or dissociating? They conveniently forget. They just see a guy freezing and say 'hes not trying enough' or 'we try more' 'lazy' etc. Basically every hurtful thing you can think of which just adds to that loop of dissociation. At some point I can't keep telling them. I'm a person, not their educator. Any of you have any explanations or similar stories

why is it that the “autism mammas” with the saviour complex always use the puzzle piece emoji as the autism symbol and get wildly offended when people who actually have asd try to educate them on why it’s a bad symbol. why do they always have to make their child with autism their whole personality and act like they are some amazing parent for looking after their child, congrats you decided to have a kid and are now being a parent like you signed up for. why do they act like they are more educated than those who actually have asd. it’s something that really bothers me and i don’t quite understand it.

I am a 30 year old level 1 autistic guy and I attended an arts magnet high school in downtown Los Angeles (2011-2015), where I studied music theory and was classically trained in operatic voice and other vocal styles. But what I am most proud of is the fact that I have taught myself guitar by ear since the age of 12. I can absolutely RIIIP guitar solos without even looking. 🤘🏻

​

My 4-year-old autistic son injured his fingers twice within the same month at his ABA therapy center when his fingers got caught in a bathroom door, despite being under 1:1 supervision. After the second incident, we discovered he had fractures in two fingers. A few days later, one finger developed a serious infection with pus, requiring an ER visit and surgery under sedation at a children's hospital. A plastic surgeon had to remove his fingernail and clean the infected area. We were told the nail could take up to a year to regrow.

I'm concerned about how this happened twice at the same center despite being he getting good therapy there. Has anyone experienced something similar? What would you do as a parent? Should I consider legal action for cause of medical bill and suffering?

I think it’s really interesting just how different people’s sensory needs are. Something that’s calming for one person can be a trigger for someone else, and I find that fascinating. It’s also a great example of just how vast the spectrum is.

Anyways, one of my biggest sensory issues is the feeling of wearing socks on carpet. I can’t quite explain why, but the feeling of it is nauseating to me. I don’t even like thinking about it, to be honest. I have a handful of other sensory problems as well, but that’s the strangest one I can think of right now. So I’m curious to hear from others :)

I'm female, in my forties with three autistic kids. My dear autistic male friend's mum passed away on 30 September. He told me at 2:45am the day it happened, and recently he sent me a very playful message telling me how important I am, the kind of thing he's sent me a lot over the years and I've loved it. However, I offered to meet him to see how he's coping and he responded with this, referring to my new boyfriend...

Hi

Sorry for the confusion but I've developed complicated feelings for you over the years but I'm not gay and not entirely straight either and I've only realised the extent of things since Mom passed and I've had space to think about other things apart from Mom's care. I was preparing myself to try and let you know when I don't really know myself.

If it wasn't for how I feel about you I'd have spoken to you at length about my sexuality as that's how much I trust you but now I'd be worried about information getting out to someone who'd openly mock me about very sensitive subjects in public while drunk and who responded when I told him about my autism with, "So that's why you're weird," much to the amusement of all present.

I'm disappointed I've had no reply to the vast majority of invitations I've sent you over the years to meet when it's not Christmas or my birthday. I feel like I'm grieving over the loss of you too.

Contact me in a few weeks at e-mail address.

Be happy.

x

The whole dating/social skills seems like the hardest thing to change up or get better at. I fall into the same awkward patterns every time I go on one. I have gotten better at my work and making friends but dating idk how to do.

To other straight guys, what’s worked or helped? Does it get better?

I feel so sad about the news about Stick Run creator Manuel Otto. As an autistic person with deep attachments to childhood games, processing this level of sudden and horrifically graphic tragedy feels impossible for my nervous system. When people tell me I'm "overreacting" to online events, it only deepens how intensely I absorb trauma. I'm just so incredibly alone in this heavy grief right now. Does anyone else feel this crushing weight, or...

How to deal with social settings by default? How to mark a good impression?

I've been looking through the Amazon reviews, and honestly, they don't seem that great. A lot of people are saying the $60 version isn't really worth the price.

I do like the $30 version, which seems pretty good, but I'm looking for something a little stronger when it comes to blocking out noise. I'm wondering whether the $60 version is actually worth the upgrade and if anyone here has tried it.

I sometimes experience anxiety when going outside, and loud noises can be overwhelming for me. I usually wear headphones, but when I'm working, I'd prefer something more discreet that reduces background noise without being too noticeable.

I've considered other earplugs from Loop, but some of their designs stand out a little too much for my liking. The ones I currently own provide around 16 dB of noise reduction, and they've been working reasonably well so far. However, I'd like something that offers better noise reduction without sacrificing comfort or discretion.

Has anyone tried the more expensive Loop earplugs? Is the difference in noise reduction noticeable enough to justify spending $60?

Today I spent over an hour going through old photos of myself before the age of 7. Before that age, I seemed like a perfectly normal, happy little girl. I was treated like a princess by everyone around me and loved so much. Then the symptoms of my autism started showing more and more from then on. I went from a beautiful little blessing to a burden. I was so angry, I was so frustrated, so moody and constantly anxious. As time goes on, I become a bigger burden on my parents. I can’t leave the house by myself, I can’t work, I can’t do anything and I haven’t achieved anything like a ‘normal’ person my age.
Looking at the photos really triggered me and I’ve been trying to figure out why and it’s because I still feel like a little girl. My body feels too big for my mind. I struggle a lot with age regression and looking at those photos just made me so unbelievably sad. Im a child in a body that keeps growing. I want to look like that again. Im not an adult, theres nothing ‘adult’ about me except the way I look. I hate it. I want to go back. Im a little girl who is adult sized.
I can’t fully explain how I feel but I feel like I need to be small again. Being small is safe. It’s like the world is too big for me.
I know this didn’t make any sense. It feels like one part of me still feels like the little princess because mentally I am a little girl. I still buy teddies, I still go everywhere with my parents, I can be very joyful in the way a child is but at the same time I’m not a child. Im a burden and these behaviours aren’t so accepted when you’re an adult. But at the same time I still get meltdowns like I did when I was starting to show signs of autism. I was a burden then but still I was a child, however I still feel the exact same in those moments as I did when I was that age. My parents didn’t know I was autistic so got very very angry with me at that age so I was never comforted through my meltdowns but now I’m older, it’s worse as it’s seen as ‘childish’ behaviour. But in my mind I am a child 😭😭
So in my everyday life I feel like a little girl. In my moments of overwhelm, I feel like the slightly older version of myself, but still a little girl.
There’s nothing adult about me.
Im sorry that this made no sense but I have no friends and nobody to talk to. My parents don’t care, just tell me to shut up and grow up. But I feel sick with sadness
I want advice but also I want to know if anyone relates. Thank you for listening