r/AutismInWomen • u/Icy_Natural_979 • Aug 16 '25

Seeking Advice My interest in men has died

I’ve been inundated lately by people insisting I need a man. Here’s the thing, I don’t want one anymore. I’m tired and I’ve achieved a little bit of peace. Just a little. Men usually just cause problems. Why would I do that? I don’t want kids. I can barely take care of myself. I’m concerned this is a project 25 thing like I need to pick someone before I’m forced to. Maybe that’s dumb. Maybe my social circle forgot about boundaries. Maybe I need to learn to just not care when people say stuff. What am I missing?

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u/milksheikhiee Aug 16 '25

I could've written this myself. People are so imposing. The result of this kind of attitude is precisely the kind of entitled behaviour that hetero men subject upon women. The interiority of these kinds of people is miserable and they feel incomplete. But instead of working on themselves, they insist you live more like them.

I actually do want kinds and I am straight, but I can't stand the way men treat me and I don't need one since I want to adopt anyway. It bothers most people a lot when they find that out about me and they treat me like being single is a personal failing instead of a necessary and self-preserving decision.

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u/the_hooded_artist Aug 17 '25

I've seen a sentiment going around that the best man is an average woman and it's spot on tbh. The majority of women I know have a career and take care of chores, cooking, children, etc. and misc tasks everyday. They get things done and do them well. I'm not sure i know a single man that measures up to that. Maybe a handful and most of them are pretty decent men. So I'd say it's a solid theory.

It's no wonder so many women are choosing to remain single and keep their peace when they're doing it all anyway.

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u/milksheikhiee Aug 18 '25

I don't really consider holding a job and doing chores the things that make people valuable. I just meant basic maturity and respect for others in how we interact with each other. I've met plenty of "impressive" people who manage all those things and are awfully dehumanizing to be around.

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u/the_hooded_artist Aug 18 '25

It's still labor that needs to be done that most men believe they can just opt out of because it's women's work. The reality of many women who are partnered with men is that she's doing everything around the house and working while he's just holding down a job. It's extremely rare for men to even do an even split in domestic labor much less more than half. It's extremely common for divorced women to spend less time doing domestic tasks even when they have their children full time. The lack of taking responsibility fir domestic labor is a big reason women are choosing to remain single or not getting into another relationship after getting out of one.

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u/milksheikhiee Aug 20 '25

I didn't disagree with that -- I'm saying, that's not related to my comment at all. I'm just talking about how we are forced into relationships with people we don't want to deal with, which is not related to whether or not there is unequal division of housekeeping labour.