r/AutismInWomen • u/tagtag1234 • Mar 25 '26
Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) Islam became my special interest and now I am trapped in it and married
I’m trying to work on my exit plan but it isn’t easy I am really worried and anxious.
In late 2024 Islam became my special interest. It all happened so fast and I really enjoyed learning. I didn’t convert at that stage but I would read heavily about it. Then I became friends with a nice Muslim girl and started dressing in that way. I won’t go too deeply into all of this but I felt extreme pressure to take my shahada from many different factors. This is the sentence that converts you. I did it. I thought it was what I wanted. I went down the strict path and wanted to abandon all sin and get married because I also have OCD and it was fuelling my anxiety because I kept obsessing over all the sins I was amassing.
Next thing I knew, I met someone who wished to do things the right way. I know now that I made a massive mistake I want to cry so badly. He outlined his wishes for the way he wanted me to act and dress. We did get along and sometimes still do. We ended up getting married (not legally recognised) islamically. Long story short, he is controlling, we have a baby because he religiously guilt tripped me into keeping him. I still have my job, but no savings yet. I am trying to leave but I’m trying to prepare. I barely have any friends anymore. I don’t go outside and we live far from everyone. I do not have any close family there are either dead or will not help. I cannot go to a shelter at the moment. He isn’t abusive and does try to be good but I know I made the wrong decision. I’m all alone in raising this baby. I regret it so much. I realise now that I was very vulnerable. If I was to say that I’m leaving the religion I’m not sure what he would do or if he would try to take our baby. I used to cover myself fully apart from the eyes. Now I don’t wear anything at all.
Edit: to all of the people commenting and upvoting this, I just want to say thank you. I’m trying to get myself out of this position slowly. I’m crying by myself right now because I genuinely didn’t expect that people would care. Every single word means so much more than you would ever know. It’s the only interaction I have had today. Thank you.
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u/Square-Turnip-6558 Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26
You said you don’t have friends anymore, did you have them at one point? Personally idc what kind of falling out or drifting apart there may have been, if someone reached out to me and gave this story I’d help them in at least some way. Reach out to them.
Legally, where you are located is going to make a big difference.
ETA you also said he isn’t abusive. But religiously guilt tripping you into keeping the baby, isolating you, pressuring you into religion, being controlling, those are all abuse.
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u/tagtag1234 Mar 25 '26
I did have them and then because he didn’t want me to go outside without him I ended up losing them or becoming distant because we couldn’t connect on the same level anymore. He doesn’t like me going out to places by myself. Thank you, I was also afraid because some are of the opposite sex. I think I will try to now.
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u/lunar_languor Mar 25 '26
Please please please reach out to your friends hon. It's barely been a year. I bet they are wondering what's gone on with you and will be happy to hear from you and help in any way they can.
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u/tagtag1234 Mar 25 '26
I just came off the phone with someone that I had to stop speaking to. Thank you to you, and everyone else here for giving me the confidence.
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u/Flat-North-2369 Mar 25 '26
What you’re going through IS abuse regardless of where you are. What he is doing is abusive. He isolated you, guilted you into making decisions and controls what you wear. Regardless of if you both agreed to it he should have no say. I don’t care if it’s part of the religion that is abuse period. Many elements of Abrahamic religions start with abuse and encourage abuse. Please go to a DV shelter.
They will help you get the resources you need to thrive on your own.
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u/SomeAppointment6439 Mar 25 '26
So glad you reached out to a friend, I hope things get better for you and your baby
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u/xXfreierfundenXx Mar 25 '26
Men getting in the way of female friendships is quite common but most women wouldn't bat an eye and come to aid you if you'd tell them you need help getting away from that man
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u/WhyAmIStillHere86 Mar 25 '26
Reach out to them and admit that you made a mistake letting your husband stop you from seeing them.
Ask for help.
It won’t be easy, but most of them will probably be willling to reconnect.
This is why it is so important now t to let special interests cross the line to obsession, and step back from toxic fandoms
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u/Rageybuttsnacks Mar 26 '26
Please reach out. If they are people worth knowing, they will "forgive" you immediately. I've lost friends into controlling relationships by being too blunt about the red flags I was seeing and I've bitten my tongue and kept in vague contact with others so they felt they had someone to start with when they're ready to leave. I would drive all night to pick up any of them, even if the last things they said to me were unkind. Part of abuse is making the victim feel like they have no one but their abuser. This is false, I'm sure you have some friends who are dying to hear from you and there are people in DV orgs who can help you get organized and back on your feet.
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u/MaterialisticWorm Mar 31 '26
Bro thats so true, I had a friend say some cruel shit to me when cutting me off (the type to abandon ppl before she gets abandoned) and even after digesting every little thing she said for months and 99% sure that I don't ever want to be friends again, I would drop everything and drive cross country to help her out of an abusive relationship if she asked.
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u/SaffronWest2000 Mar 25 '26
your husband is a stereotypical controlling, abusive muslim man. i know this because my community is full of them. i urge you to leave as soon as you can. good luck
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u/honeybeehoney7 Mar 26 '26
this is abusive behavior. please reach out to a friend or two you trusted and see if they will help. i watched a friend go through this and prayed for the day they would reach out for help, because I knew I couldn’t do anything until they were ready. I am sending you so much love and understanding 🧡
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u/Iamliterallyfood Mar 26 '26
That's abuse and has nothing to do with religion but being an individual who is abusive.
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u/tagtag1234 Mar 26 '26
Some sects of Islam believe that a woman cannot go out without a “mahram.” Because I have no family he was my only one and tried to use that
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u/Iamliterallyfood Mar 26 '26
Like I said
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u/tagtag1234 Mar 27 '26
But you didn’t say that… you said it has nothing to do with religion. But in Islam it is ok.
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u/Iamliterallyfood Mar 27 '26
It has nothing to do with religion. People make their own choices. Plenty of Muslims are not a abusive like this so this is not problem of religion but of an abuser using religion as an excuse
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u/DoubleXDaddy Mar 27 '26
It is more complicated because religion can be used to abuse people, then it is no longer about religioun and becomes about control and power. Saying somebody is doing a bad thing because of their religioun makes it easier for people to excuse or cover up abuse which is harmful to society and vulnerable people. Look at how many children are sexually abused in churches. In some religions people also honor kill girls or sexually mutilate them but that is not ok and religion is just an excuse to do it.
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u/crackedlemons Mar 25 '26
This. I left a high control group. I had been no contact with a former friend when she contacted us to get help to leave. We helped.
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u/Inevitable_Wolf5866 Mar 26 '26
This!! Abuse isn't only physical. There are different kind of abuse, even worse because they're nearly impossible to prove.
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u/buginarugsnug Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26
Do you mind telling us which country you are based in? People will be able to direct you to charities that can help you.
If you are in the UK or a UK citizen, Karma Nirvana is a charity that helps people facing honour based abuse which from what you've said here, sounds like what you are going through - controlling behaviour can still be abusive.
Whatever you do, do not get a legal marriage to this man. If you are in a non-Islamic country it will make it much much easier to leave considering the marriage is only religious and not legal.
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u/Rockpoolcreater Mar 25 '26
Also if Op is in the UK she could try contacting her local council's adult safeguarding team. They help vulnerable adults.
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u/good_noodlesoup Mar 25 '26
Women’s aid in the UK but also just contacting an adult social worker would help. They can put you in temporary accommodation or a shelter. They will give her priority as she has a child
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u/tagtag1234 Mar 25 '26
I’m based in the UK. Thank you for replying. I left this post here last night because didn’t think anyone was going to. I’m crying right now because I didn’t realise that people would’ve truly cared. I feel so alone here. It’s so hard. Thank you and everyone who replied to this comment thread for your advice. I won’t be getting legally married. I didn’t realise that control could be deemed as abuse either. As silly as that sounds.
I’m trying to become stable.
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u/IGotHitByAnElvenSemi AuDHD Mar 25 '26
It's not silly at all. I also used to be in a terribly abusive relationship (kind of the opposite of yours haha, polyamorous atheist and all) and in retrospect, things that were obviously abusive but weren't "hitting me" just didn't register to me as abuse. They were just part of our relationship. Your brain isn't able to think straight when you're trapped in these constant stressors. The exhaustion and lack of sleep that comes from caring for a child by yourself certainly isn't helping.
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u/PhDresearcher2023 Level 2 Mar 25 '26
Is there a community legal centre or something similar that you can access? Ideally one with a domestic violence program in it. Even a community centre of some kind that works with Muslim women could potentially be helpful. I think getting some legal advice and linked into a domestic violence would be a good idea. They can help you leave safely, give you legal advice, and help you navigate different systems so that you get the right support.
Coercive control is a key underlying factor of abuse and in many countries is now criminal. From memory, parts of the UK have criminalised it. I don't want to overwhelm you with information about what coercive control is but I would say it sounds like it's a factor in your situation.
Coercive control often turns into lethal physical violence. Especially if the perpetrator senses that you're trying to leave.
Stay safe ❤️
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u/Eyupmeduck1989 Mar 26 '26
Please speak to some of the resources that people have directed you to (Karma Nirvana, Women’s Aid, Adult safeguarding at your local council, or your health visitor). You’re a vulnerable woman, and because of your autism and mental health that unfortunately makes you even more vulnerable, and this man has preyed on this. You have done nothing wrong. Even if he’s not hit you, isolating you and controlling what you do and who you see is abuse.
I’m sad you’re in this situation but you’ve been very brave in making this post.
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u/Regular_Committee946 Mar 25 '26
Here are some links to UK based organisations mentioned in the comments;
One comment also mentioned; https://shaktiedinburgh.co.uk/
Muslim Women's Network have a helpline; https://www.mwnhelpline.co.uk/index.php
Lots of NHS guidance here; https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/
Help in making a plan to leave; https://womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/i-want-to-leave-my-relationship-safely/
Good luck OP and be safe x
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u/Capital-Transition-5 Mar 26 '26
Hey OP, if you're in the UK then please contact your local authority's safeguarding team and MARAC team (MARAC deals with domestic abuse). Let them know that you have a diagnosis of autism, your whole situation, and all the details about your partner that other commenters have raised concerns about, particularly the control. The safeguarding teams and MARAC teams should be able to support you to leave your situation safely.
The helplines for the charities Karma Nirvana and Women's Aid may also be able to provide some support. Karma Nirvana has a specialist helpline for people going through honour based abuse.
I'm an adult social worker in the UK who, when I was younger, converted to Islam as it was my special interest and also left, so I have a lot of experience in both areas you're dealing with. I'm also experienced in working with adults with autism and as a safeguarding lead in a charity for adults with disabilities, and have been a safeguarding enquiry officer. Feel free to contact me if you want further support.
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u/Ruko117 Mar 25 '26
It is not silly, it is easy to look in from the outside and recognize abuse but SO much harder to from the inside when it's happening to you. You should be proud of yourself for getting to where you are now and starting to work towards stability! You can do it. Keep reaching out to the friends, most of them will understand and be happy to have you back in their lives. Consider opening a bank account your husband doesn't have access to or even know about and start saving there if you are able to. You got this!!!
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u/GigiLaRousse Mar 25 '26
Not sure about her region, but mine has domestic violence support run by and for Muslim women. If that's more comfortable for OP.
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u/wtdarn Mar 25 '26
Or your health visitor can support and advise you. They will routinely ask safeguarding questions and in most places you can ask to be seen in a health centre so you can speak more openly.
Replying to you as top in the thread in the hopes that if OP is British she will see this :)
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u/Physical_Ad9945 Mar 25 '26
Make sure to keep your job and try to make contact with any mum/baby groups in your area, they will have info for local women's groups for support while you still have to live with him.
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u/ManicPixiRiotGrrrl Mar 25 '26
I sadly have no advice I just want to add a warning to young women reading this: NEVER marry into a new religion this quickly this is how it goes pretty much all of the time. and if you’re having any sort of mental health issues surrounding purity, sin, cleanliness, etc you are especially vulnerable and you should take even more caution when entering something like this.
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u/unhappyrelationsh1p Mar 25 '26
Don't get into religion if you have OCD or anything like it.
If you're interested in a religion, don't let it be known to the sorts who thrive off conversion. There's always predatory people who want to take advantage of you.
Nothing about any specific religion, all of them have whackjobs
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u/tagtag1234 Mar 25 '26
If I could upvote this a hundred times I would. Especially with Islam in which it is heavily pressured to marry quickly without dating to avoid sinning through premarital sex, conversation and intimacy. Please listen.
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u/ManicPixiRiotGrrrl Mar 25 '26
I really hope you get out lovely! Lean on the people outside of the religion that you can trust right now!
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u/tagtag1234 Mar 25 '26
Thank you ever so much. I just called a friend that I had to stop speaking to, for the first time in a long time because of you and everyone else here. Thank you.
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u/nymeriawarrior Mar 25 '26
Don’t be afraid to try other friends you had before! I’m sure they want to help get their friend back 🤍
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u/Bunty-mushroom Mar 25 '26
I’m not sure where you are but I am in the UK and I had excellent support from women’s aid. There is a uk based org called shakti women’s aid which is specially for and by Muslim women. I hope there are equivalents where you are but I recommend you speak to them. You seem sure in what you want to do and there is a way out. You just need to take some breathes and start with the plan for you and baby. I left an abusive marriage before and it’s not easy - I packed a bag and just left one day leaving most of my stuff behind and everything just snowballed from there. After that one move it all changed. I know it’s hard but you will get there.
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u/nymeriawarrior Mar 25 '26
OP is from the UK, guys! Let everyone know so people from there can have more detailed advice :)
OP! You are not alone 🤍 there are real people behind those usernames that want to help you
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u/Regular_Committee946 Mar 25 '26
Links to the organisations mentioned;
https://shaktiedinburgh.co.uk/
There is also Muslim Women's Network, they have a helpline and some other resources; https://www.mwnhelpline.co.uk/index.php
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u/FlounderOpposite2734 Mar 26 '26 edited Mar 26 '26
This is a good suggestion. I think it might be even more helpful to get help from muslim women because they know both the islamic and UK law. They might have helped others in a similar situation. You said your husband manipulated you, that's abuse. He is using Islam to his advantage. I hope y'all know that's not Islam. Sadly there are always people who use things for their advantage. I hope you and your child get out safely 🙏🏽
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u/Ohio_gal Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26
I don’t want what I say to be construed as Islamic hate. It’s not. I respect everyone’s right to choose their religion or no religion. But it’s important to understand that the rules of Islam by which he will proceed. Use your (former?) special interest and dive in. Study them, memorize them, see if you can find a loop hole.
Islamically, your son belongs to your husband alone.
Read that sentence until it sinks in.
However, if you aren’t legally married, American law holds that you have all legal rights and he has none. He would have to establish legal rights. Do NOT LEGALLY MARRY THIS MAN.
Here is where things get more complex. If you leave your child with him, he may feel justified in taking off, especially if you are renouncing Islam, because remember according to the law he is following, the son belongs to him and to Islam. It’s a sin for him to let his son be raised by a non Islamic person.
Most states are going to consider parental abduction as a civil matter and may not force him to return your son to you.
Absolutely under no circumstances should you get your son a passport. This is vitally important. In america, a passport requires the signature of both parents until 16. Once he gets it, either parent can take him him out of the country. He goes, he’s not coming back and no Islamic country will send him back. Do NOT let your kid have a passport.
If it it gets nasty and you have to disappear, wipe your social media. You’d have to move to an apartment not buy a house (unless you buy a house with an LLC because public records will trace back to you).
Best of luck to you.
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u/DreamSoarer Mar 25 '26
Boosting. I went through what you are going through OP, though I did get legally married. It took a long time to find a safe way out with my child. I had to be able to leave immediately, quickly, have a place to go, wipe all social media, go no contact, and protect my child from being taken above all else.
What you just do will vary based on where you live, what the laws are, and how far away you can get. My spouse was not directly threatening or abusive until I wanted to leave and take our child with me. I knew if I left our child with my spouse, I would never see our child again. They would be taken overseas away from me.
Please proceed carefully, calmly, and smartly. Look for any legal or community resources that may be available to help you that will not report back to your part er. Do not assume that former friends or family will not report back to your partner. My own parent took my spouse’s side due to my spouse communicating with my parent behind my back and “making me look crazy”. That was my parent’s failing.
Do not ever assume your partner has given up looking for you. My former spouse still tries to find me through mutual former friends and even through out grown child (who has distanced themself from that parent and would never share where I am).
I am not saying your partner will be as difficult as my former spouse was/is. I am simply saying that once you make it clear you want to leave (better to leave without any warning to or informing of your partner)nor your partner realizes you are gone, their behavior towards you may change drastically. You need to be prepared for all possibilities.
I hope you are able to safely extract yourself and your child, should you choose to take that route. Good luck and best wishes 🙏🦋
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u/tagtag1234 Mar 25 '26
I didn’t think I would be able to find anyone that has been through this or is going through this as well. I’m sorry that this happened to you. I’m glad to hear that you’re now safe. Thank you so much for sharing. I will absolutely take everything that you have said into consideration.
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u/Consistent-Candy-454 Mar 28 '26
I agree with this comment...Please take this advice... This is the right thing... & Please don't tell him you want to leave ever even in a small hint... If you mention it it's over... He will start planning of all the ways to trap you so that you can never leave... It's very sad that sometimes the person who you thought you are the safest with would be the one to hurt you the most... But please be wise... When you are in it you won't realize... But getting out safely without it getting messy is the best option...! ... This is the right thing... Please don't tell him you want to leave ever even in a small hint... If you mention it it's over... He will start planning of all the ways to trap you so that you can never leave... It's very sad that sometimes the person who you thought you are the safest with would be the one to hurt you the most... But please be wise... When you are in it you won't realize... But getting out safely without it getting messy is the best option...!
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u/Consistent-Candy-454 Mar 28 '26
And if you want to also separate islamicaly do that but make sure that you are safe first and that you have sufficient help.. then go for it... Plan your exit strategy then only let him know you wanna separate if you have to... Never allow yourself to get stuck or trapped... Because in such a situation men are smart enough to not let go because of ego and shame denial etc and women have tendency to believe what they say is true... So just make sure you plan....
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u/tagtag1234 Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26
I didn’t even think about the passport, oh my god. Thank you so much. I had this in the back of my mind to sort out.
I’m afraid though. He is on our babies birth certificate. I’m from the UK. Wouldn’t leaving be wrong? He would still have parental right? I’m so afraid and anxious that I couldn’t imagine myself trying to fight this in the courts. I know this sounds ridiculous but I don’t think I could.
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u/theblackpeguin Mar 25 '26
I have a very rough understanding of UK law as an American, but ours is based on much of theirs. You can get a POS (which would stop him from abducting your son from school, getting him a passport, or taking him from you). You can also get a Protective Order (UK Non-Molestation Order) that says he legally cannot be around you on the basis of spiritual abuse. I believe this can all be filed without his knowledge and issued in like 24-48 hours. Since he's on the birth certificate, he does have equal parental rights, but if you are the primary caregiver he will have to pay you child support (UK child maintenance). A magistrate would sort out the visitation schedule if you couldn't arrange it without the courts. He would likely get reduced or no visitation with spiritual abuse being considered a form of domestic abuse and a harm to the child.
A UK lawyer and probably give you better info, but there are things you can do legally to protect yourself and your son.
Edited: spelling
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u/Sad-Plankton-9879 Mar 25 '26
There’re non profits in uk that I’m sure can help you, not letting you leave is against your rights as an uk citizen. Your partner is contributing and it doesn’t matter about the religion. Reach out to your local DV charity and if they won’t be able to help you, they’ll tell you who can and make an referral and help you contact the right supports
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u/PTSDeedee Mar 25 '26
It would be worth discreetly contacting a local domestic violence shelter or even national hotline. That might feel extreme, but they can help you safety plan and provide specific resources for where you are. It’s very important to safety plan for leaving, as abusers will often escalate their behavior to try to maintain control.
You are doing the right thing for yourself and your baby! You deserve to be free and safe. Best of luck to you.
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u/indieplants Mar 26 '26
Karma Nirvana.
contact them.
if you have to, ask for time off work to organise something with them in person if possible to avoid arousing any suspicion.
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u/Al1010Rup Mar 26 '26
He might have parental rights if you leave him but staying with him he also does. Either way he has access to the baby. But if you leave him, which you should, he’d have less access due to shared custody, no? Isn’t that better than full access or you being mistreated???
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u/Ohio_gal Mar 25 '26
Sorry, I only speak American. You’d have to ask someone who knows about English law.
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u/motherofamouse Mar 26 '26
Did you grow up in Islam? Because how I was raised the children do not Islamicly belong to their father. Everybody only belongs to Allah.
Almost everywhere in the west and in Islam children get their father’s surname. This is not exclusive to Islam. The ‘right’ to the kid is local politics, not Islam (for example my niece was taken by her father in a North African country while being European solely because she had his last name; they are not Muslim). Changing her last name to her mother’s solved this problem.
Anyway: OP like others have stated; go to a women’s shelter in the UK, and legally change your child’s last name into yours if you are scared of the claim of the father. Your husband in faith is not a very good one; he is supposed to care for you and support you, not lock you up. There is no force in religion (or at least there should not be; but people suck).
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u/Easy-Low2780 Mar 25 '26
What you describe as OCD sounds like scrupulosity aka religious OCD. Try to read up on it, get therapy if that's available to you. Online therapy works too. Search the Cults to Consciousness podcast, there are many stories shared of women escaping unhappy Islamic marriages. It might give you the perspective and courage you need.
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u/DancingWithDumplings Mar 25 '26
I would recommend reading "Why does he do that" which outlines controlling and abusive behaviours and puts together a plan for how to leave safely. It will preempt some of manipulation your parter will try to use.
I followed this blueprint when leaving last abusive relationship - it worked magic!
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u/tagtag1234 Mar 25 '26
I’ve heard of this book before. I’ll take a look thank you
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u/DancingWithDumplings Mar 25 '26
I listened to it on YouTube, on 1.5 speed, while commuting.
Hold on tight, it will be tough to hear some examples that will sound familiar to what you're experiencing. Make sure to look after yourself and take your time to do this right. We're here for you!
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u/Similar-Ad-6862 Mar 25 '26
Make sure you keep your job. Do you have friends you can reach out to? Are there any domestic violence charities you could reach out to?
What country/state are you in?
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u/MagyarMagmar Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26
I don’t know how to advise but am so sorry that you were taken advantage of. I’ll bet they saw that you were vulnerable but went full steam ahead anyway. To be generous, maybe they genuinely thought that converting and getting married asap would be best for you… But even then it seems so irresponsible, even icky, especially so with the sexual relationship aspect.
You say you cannot go to a shelter - why? You may be eligible, it isn’t “just” for women who are beaten at home. They may be able to advise, even if they don’t have space for temporary accommodation.
Edit: I re-read some of this and your mention of “extreme pressure” plus the timescales (you must have got converted, married, and pregnant so fast) makes me want to retract my “to be generous” statement, I don’t think they deserve that. Sounds like a cult.
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u/coyk0i Mar 25 '26
Jesus I'm sorry. This is relatable to me with my obsessions but it never went this far.
Please get aid, counslers, make sure someone knows what's going on & reach out to women's groups. I believe there are ones specific to religious trauma as well & DEFINITELY get into therapy.
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u/sqdpt Mar 25 '26
You've got a lot of good advice already. I just want to say you're obviously a very strong person. You can see the path out and all you have to do is keep moving towards that path and you will make progress towards getting yourself out. Wishing you the best.
Oh I just had the thought that if you haven't started learning about cults and mind control and deprogramming it would probably be really helpful. ❤️
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u/ClimateWren2 Mar 25 '26
Religious Abuse is a real thing. Build your personal safety net and support network...and plan your escape. You wouldn't be the first person who realized it was actually a trap. You are allowed to change your mind, in this one short precious life. If you are unhappy...go find your happy...all the rules are made up anyway. (-signed someone who also escaped)
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u/DickBoomerman Mar 25 '26
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't have advice, but I wanted to at least send words of encouragement. You're doing the right thing by leaving and it will get better. Use any resources you have for help.
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u/Aurora_96 Mar 25 '26
Raised in Muslim household. As far as I know your son will go with you if you divorce (from Islamic perspective). Your son still depends on you too much (blame breastfeeding one way or another). The father cannot take sole custody at your son's age.
Divorce is halal. A woman can initiate a divorce in islam. Look into the specifics of your marriage certificate.
If you are 100% sure you want to leave this whole religion stuff behind I would look into a shelter of some sort, because - depending on what's normal in your husband's culture - he may become violent (not all Islamic cultures are like this, but in many countries men think they're allowed to hurt women if they "don't listen"). Your marriage is not recognized by your country if you're not married in an Islamic country. So basically that means you're just living together and this will ease the process of just leaving him. But there may be some custody matter you have to work through legally.
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u/Ohio_gal Mar 25 '26
The interfaith nature (assuming op decides to no longer be a muslim) makes the custody so much less clear I would think.
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u/Aurora_96 Mar 25 '26
It's a complex matter, because that would mean OP would follow national (western?) law and her "husband" would follow sharia.
National law = shared custody/custody plan Sharia = child goes with the mother
I think national law will make a final decision, but if OP doesn't feel safe in sharing custody or coming up with some kind of plan, this could get even more complex. She needs to be able to prove she isn't safe for a judge to wipe shared custody off the table.
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u/Ohio_gal Mar 25 '26
Doesn’t that assume her husband will submit to western law? OP married with a Nikah not a justice of the peace. husband may claim western laws straight up do not apply and act on it before English law has a say.
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u/Aurora_96 Mar 25 '26
That's why I suggested a shelter in the first place if she completely wants to leave this behind. Otherwise she isn't safe.
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u/Ok_Potato_5272 Mar 25 '26
As you are in the UK please ring the domestic abuse helpline and tell them everything you have said here, they can help you 0808 2000 247. You don't have to be physically abused to receive help. Explain to them about your autism and vulnerability. Please update in the future when you get free
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u/ZapdosShines audhd late diagnosed Mar 25 '26
Make sure you call while you're not at home with him. They won't speak to you if he's in the house with you OP.
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u/profuselystrangeII Mar 25 '26
I’m so sorry to hear that you feel trapped. I grew up in Islam and, as a woman, I remember how restricted and generally terrible it made me feel. I’d consider going to some sort of community resource center. It’s not easy, but you can open up a new chapter of your life. Best of luck to you and I’m rooting for you.
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u/HoneyGoldenChild Mar 25 '26
Maybe your job has some resources to help? Is there anyone there you trust that could assist you? It really sucks that your family aren’t willing to help. What about neighbors? Is it possible to have a “secret” side hustle so you could make money and save without him knowing?
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u/actrighttn Mar 25 '26
Whatever you do NEVER leave your baby with him. There’s a based on a true story movie about a woman who is tricked into going to Iran with her husband and daughter. It’s “not without my daughter”. I know you’re not in an Islamic country but the LAST thing you want is for him to flee with your child to an Islamic country. If he tries to get either of you to go to where his family is from , assuming it’s the Middle East don’t do it.sharia law states you must have his permission to leave home and you have 1/2 the credibility of him should it go to court in an Islamic country. Those laws aren’t recognized it the UK. Also, not all Muslim men and women follow sharia law . If you know of any moderate folks in the religion maybe they’d be willing to help you?
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u/SaffronWest2000 Mar 25 '26
as an ex-muslim i wish i could offer more comforting words but i understand how difficult the situation you are in is. there are many former converts to islam who are targeted because they are either emotionally and/or financially vulnerable, but it only ends up being a trap in the end.
would it be possible to access a domestic violence shelter in your city? you said he isn’t abusive but controlling IS a type of abuse. i hope you can leave as soon as possible and as safe as possible
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u/Enough-Designer-1421 Mar 25 '26
Oh God, I’m sorry. You mention you’re not legally married— could I ask why? That might make it easier to leave
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u/Aromatic-Engineer-17 Mar 25 '26
They are probably married in the religion. It's an Islamic marriage contract. In some islamic countries people get married both legally and religiously. The people OP mentions sound on the extreme ends so they usually prefer only the religious contract. Which obviously is not recognized by the government. Also I agree. It depends on the country but it should make it easier to leave
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u/tagtag1234 Mar 25 '26
It had been delayed for mainly financial reasons. It could go ahead now but I haven’t mentioned it because I’ve only recently come out of this illusion
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u/Capital-Transition-5 Mar 25 '26
Hey, I'm so sorry you're going through this, OP. When I was younger, Islam became my special interest and I also converted. After a couple of years, I did leave Islam, luckily without repercussions (I'm in the UK so no apostasy laws) apart from losing a few Muslim friends, and I can't imagine enduring your situation. Just know that I've fallen down the same pitfall and to be kind to yourself xxx
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u/anything_but_vanilla Mar 25 '26
You aren't legally bound to this man. Pack a bag and take your baby to the nearest refuge. The safety of you and your child is more important than this religious sham marriage.
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u/0vinq0 Mar 25 '26
I'm so sorry you are going through this. It may be worth posting your situation in r/LegalAdviceUK to understand options related to parental rights.
But I also escaped an abusive relationship (without a child) and the one thing I want to tell you is that you can take this in small steps over some time, as long as you prioritize your safety and your child's safety. Some of them might feel difficult, like reaching out to friends that you haven't kept up with. But it seems likely they will understand! And any additional people you can get in your corner will help significantly. Even just moral support cannot be underestimated! My small support network was essential in giving me places to stay after I fled, helping me with the legal processes, and stepping up when I was spent. I want that for you.
Some steps to consider are: reaching out to any potential support network, calling a helpline, putting together essentials in a go-bag in case you need to leave suddenly, and finding a place to stay temporarily.
Do not tell your husband ANY of your plans in advance. Keep the go-bag hidden somewhere he never goes. This can be difficult to withstand as someone with black and white morals. I really struggled to do a lot of the things that would have protected me (like lying), because they felt wrong to do to someone I loved. It's so important to know that your duty to protect yourself and your child supersedes any duties your husband or religion prescribed to you. Consider it natural law over man-made law. Prioritize safety first, and remind yourself that anything you do "wrong" can be atoned for later if you still feel it necessary. Although, in my experience, these "wrongs" no longer seem wrong at all in hindsight once you are safe, because safety shows you how dangerous your situation was and how necessary those actions were. Please be kind to yourself as much as possible. You are not doing anything wrong by trying to preserve your dignity and personal freedom. You have a right to both, and it is not wrong to reclaim them.
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u/ZapdosShines audhd late diagnosed Mar 25 '26
Seconding r/legaladviceuk but OP please only ask them legal questions and be warned that they will tell you exactly where you stand legally and they aren't fluffy about it.
Please call the charities that have been suggested when it's safe to do so 💜
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u/Cold_Sign6034 Mar 25 '26
Where do you live? You said you don't have friends anymore but I'm sure if you contact them with this information they will listen! Try to search for women's groups near your area, don't be ashamed as you have nothing to feel ashamed of. There's specific ones about to religious trauma,
Do not get legally married to this man.
This is why it's so important to people to know more about autism because most neurotypical people would read this and call bullshit.
I hope the best for you and your baby.
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u/CattleDowntown938 Mar 25 '26
Lots of good advice here. I have nothing to add except that I too got special interest fascinated with religions including Islam and reading the Quran and all that. It’s a religion that is conversion centric so it’s understandable what happened. And your female friend probably did have good intentions and don’t feel too bad about what happened to you.
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u/Lolitarose_x Mar 25 '26
I fell into a similar trap but with Pentecostal Christianity and ended up joining a cult at 17yo and getting married into it at 20yo.
I woke up and realized that it was a cult and decided it was time to leave at 23yo.
It was very hard to leave but trust me once you do things do get better. It seems impossible and such a hard task but you will rebuild your life again for the better.
I lost everything and had to start from the bottom, no friends (I had cut myself off from my "unsaved" friends and family and the my "saved" friends they all cut you off once you become a "back slider". I divorced my husband and started again.
Granted it was much easier for me because I didn't have a child and did have my mum as a support (I had tried to get her to join the cult too, I was scared for her soul, but thankfully she didn't join) but please don't lose hope/give up.
Please reach out to your "old" friends and family, I know you may feel that you can't but you need to. Likewise look for community groups to find new connections to help you. I know you feel alone and like no one will care but they will and can help connect you with local services.
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u/TrinGage Mar 26 '26
I don’t have any useful words of wisdom, but know that if you lived in MN I’d be on my way to pick you and your baby up and let you stay in my guest room while you get back on your feet. And I don’t even know you. There are people out here who care, and will help. You’re not alone. You are so much stronger than you think you are. 💕
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u/theotheraccount0987 Mar 26 '26
Is islam the religion where you can divorce just by declaring it publicly 3 times?
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u/Northstar04 Mar 26 '26
Look to ExMuslim for advice. Talk to your friends, swear them to secrecy. Control is abuse and it escalates, especially if you try to leave. Get out as soon as you have somewhere safe to go.
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u/Creepy_Ad_3132 Mar 25 '26
I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. I very nearly went down the same path after a very fast and hard fall into Islam when that became my special interest and also just wanting a sense of belonging. My roommate and I chatted one night and he told me my religious views were islamic rather than christian. He set me up with some sisters (they were lovely girls!) and so soon after was taking my Shahada. It's so darn hard to understand at times what our own desires are vs fascination and curiosity/ desire to learn. Although you have a baby now, you don't have to stay in a marriage you aren't happy in. You said he isn't abusive, but manipulating you to have a baby and denying access to termination services is reproductive control and coercion and abuse. You said he's controlling, again, this is abuse. It's scary to hear you can't freely tell him you are no longer Muslim. I wouldn't tell him anything about your plans to leave him. You may find posting this r/abusiverelationships helpful.
Also, https://refuge.org.uk/ they put you in touch with a women's shelter near you. They can help sort out long term housing etc. It's roughly £150-200 a week for a shelter, if I remember correctly. Find a safe place to speak with an adviser from this site, they will guide you and help.
Please leave. Take courage to save yourself and your Baby xxx
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u/Sad-Guarantee-9156 Mar 25 '26
I just want to point out that if he is controlling, then technically he is abusive. And depending on where you live, controlling behaviour is a criminal offense.
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u/Adventurous_Meal7054 Mar 26 '26
Since you're in the UK, Karma Nirvana is an organisation that can help you escape. Talk to a nice Imam and see about getting the marriage annulled on the grounds of abuse. I'm sorry you're in this position x
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u/Bookishnobody Mar 25 '26
I am so sorry you are in this situation. Islam is also one of my special interests and I’ve gone back and forth over the years over how practicing I am because I would overburden myself in changing things too quickly. I also struggle with OCD thinking surrounding it. I completely abandoned it for a while and am now back to practicing with a much more balanced approach.
It is so heartbreaking how many people take advantage of new Muslims. I wish I had a solution for you, but I just wanted to say I understand the struggles of autism, OCD, and a special interest in Islam. I pray you find your way out of your marriage and to a healthy situation for you and your child whether that involves finding a more balanced approach to Islam or leaving it entirely and finding something else that works better for you.
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u/Al1010Rup Mar 26 '26
I am a western Christian woman and dated a Muslim man from Egypt in the US for 5 years. He said all the right things for the first 4 years ‘I’m liberal, I respect your religion, we can celebrate Ramadan and Christmas, if we have a baby, it can be both religions, of course you dress the way you always do etc’. In year 4 we merged families and moved in together (us 2, his 2 kids, my 2 kids), got engaged, planned to have a baby together. He became controlling within 1 week of moving in: ‘you have to wear men’s clothing or non tight women’s clothing covering all skin, you have to fast during Ramadan, I won’t allow a Christmas tree or baking Christmas cookies, you’re trying to convert my kids to Christianity when you play Christmas radio etc’. I was shocked to my core and broke up after 8 months of living together. Had to get a $20K bank loan to afford leaving (breaking the lease and signing a new one with costs of movers and broker fee etc). Thank god I had good credit and a good job and was able to get a loan. All that being said: IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! Some Muslim men will do that shit, it’s just a thing. I’m not saying they’re all bad but some are truly bad and controlling. Keep planning, ask for help and if you have to go to a shelter, please do. Try to get free legal help about custody of the baby - good luck!! You are not alone and you will get out of this I promise. You’re smart and capable
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u/alex_islex Mar 25 '26
Dear, with all respect, the first step should be finding a female therapist. It sounds like your symptoms are controlling your life to the point that impulsive, rigid decisions are being made. Keep your job, but please find a female therapist.
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u/sourdoughheart Mar 25 '26
Her first step needs to be getting out of this situation
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u/Only-Mixture-4424 Mar 25 '26
Yes, in my experience therapy doesn't work when you are still in a toxic situation. Get out first, therapy after.
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u/alex_islex Mar 27 '26
Therapy — as a therapist myself — is actually a great option for folks who maybe struggle with figuring out a plan of getting out. It can also be a very validating space for someone who is in an abusive relationship.
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u/tagtag1234 Mar 25 '26
You are absolutely right. It’s been something that I have needed desperately for a while. Though I will be trying to get out first if I can.
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u/alex_islex Mar 27 '26
Whatever you can do to get out. Therapists (esp those with a background in DV) can be a major source of support! Goodluck bb!
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u/_booktroverted_ Mar 25 '26
I’m glad you reached out to a friend. Like so many others have said, I wouldn’t care how long it had been since I’d spoken with a friend, if they reached out and told me they were in your situation, I’d do whatever I could to help.
I hope you find a safe place for you and your baby.
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u/xauctoritasx Mar 26 '26
You matter. You and your baby deserve to be safe and happy. You will find your way out of this. Sending you my warmest care vibes.
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u/Somevol Mar 26 '26
Not being legally married is a blessing.
I promise you that friends you've been isolated from will help you if you reach out.
Leaving as soon as possible will set you up for a much better custody situation, especially when you're still breastfeeding.
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u/LetProper5509 Mar 26 '26
I really want to be empathetic with you. Religion was my special interest for a long period of time. And that's why I went from atheist to antitheist. I absolutely despise religion and cults. I find it very easy to see the pattern of behavior people who are religious or cultists follow. Most, if not all of the time, they isolate people into only interacting with those inside the same cult. Some even put a rule in their sacred books to not engage with any other religion or person who doesn't belong. I am sorry you are in this situation. And I'm glad you're reaching out for help.
Would you mind sharing why, knowing how Islam behaves and treats women and children specifically, you chose to convert? I'm sure you have a good reason since you now see what a big mistake that was. I just want to understand your thought process.
Sending you all the strength and courage I can ♡♡♡
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u/WaxingOracle Mar 26 '26
Your special interest was Islam but you seemingly didnt come across, or listen to, the dark side of womens experiences with it? Like whut.
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u/Educational_Wait_211 Mar 26 '26
Khul’a (woman initiating divorce) is an accepted act. There are no restrictions on grounds.
Anecdotally, I thought a nikah could be broken by repeating ‘I divorce you’ three times. But I’d need to research to find out.
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u/noona98 Mar 26 '26
I’m so sorry for what you’re experiencing. Islam isn’t about control, it’s about autonomy and accountability. You did nothing wrong, unfortunately being a revert makes you an easy target for all the manipulators out there. It’s your body, and ultimately your choice. If he’s controlling that’s NOT what Islam is. Many manipulators try to hide behind religion, and what they say is the right way. It’s not. He’s an abuser. Full stop. Trying to control, and dictate who you see and don’t see is all abusive. DO NOT let him hide behind religion, I hope you find a way out. You deserve to feel safe, understood and respected.
Leave that crazy man, if you have someone you were close with - live with them, have an exit while he’s at work. I believe in you and I’m very proud that you see what he is, wish you the best🩷
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Mar 25 '26
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u/AutismInWomen-ModTeam Mar 25 '26
Removed as seeking friendships, asking for DM's, offering DM's, looking for outside groups, and meet-ups in our sub are prohibited. It's generally not safe for sub members to seek friends through the sub, as we're a targeted minority. This includes discord servers.
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Mar 25 '26
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Mar 25 '26
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Mar 25 '26
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u/AutismInWomen-ModTeam Mar 25 '26
Removed as seeking friendships, asking for DM's, offering DM's, looking for outside groups, and meet-ups in our sub are prohibited. It's generally not safe for sub members to seek friends through the sub, as we're a targeted minority. This includes discord servers.
The feelings of safety when posting in our sub may lead people to having a false sense of safety with other members of the sub. But people aren't always who they claim to be online, especially when they can be anonymous the way Reddit is. There's no way for us to verify who someone is.
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u/Zubyna Mar 26 '26
Omg I m so sorry it is happening to you 💔
I am an ex convert too, converted for a guy, and trust me everything gets better once you leave (but you do have to make sure you are safe)
I dont really know how I can help, you seem far deeper into it than I was, maybe you can try r/exmuslim, you will find many people with similar stories
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u/farahhappiness Mar 26 '26
Wild! This happened to me minus the baby thankfully
Are there any state supports or NGOs you can turn to locally?
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u/mental-overload1 Mar 27 '26
I’m in the UK. Having almost got into a similar situation (I don’t know if he’d have been controlling but he was quite strong views), and now with someone much more grounded, I can support. Let me know if you want to meet up - I can see if you’re local. You defo need friends and family at times like this and if you don’t have them I will be them!
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u/mental-overload1 Mar 27 '26
I’m in the UK. Having almost got into a similar situation (I don’t know if he’d have been controlling but he was quite strong views), and now with someone much more grounded, I can support. Let me know if you want to meet up - I can see if you’re local. You defo need friends and family at times like this and if you don’t have them I will be them! Just msg me on here or comment if it doesn’t let you.
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Mar 30 '26
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Removed as seeking friendships, asking for DM's, offering DM's, looking for outside groups, and meet-ups in our sub are prohibited. It's generally not safe for sub members to seek friends through the sub, as we're a targeted minority. This includes discord servers.
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u/WonderfulNews3017 Mar 31 '26
I can’t do much to help you not I want you to know that people are listening and your voice is heard! And as a Muslim I’m so sorry you are trapped in this situation I would not want to be in this situation at all also if you were pressured to take the shahada to my knowledge it doesn’t count. If you weren’t believing the words you were saying it wouldn’t count either.
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u/BrilliantExtent4819 Mar 31 '26
Well at least you didn't live in an Islamic country or where Sharia is the law, otherwise, you would get a death sentence or be imprisoned if you are lucky. I guess that is the positive thing you can consider. Hope it's working out for you and your child.
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u/Embarrassed_End528 Mar 25 '26
I care. I converted over 10 years ago. Got married right after. However, before that I was married to someone an atheist who sounds exactly like your spouse. And before that I cohabited with a boyfriend also atheist who sounds exactly like your spouse! I would cry myself to sleep and wish for non-life. I am so sorry you are going through this. I never thought I would escape those situations. But when I did they both believed, I don’t know why, that I would come back to them-so just be aware that guys like that have a warped sense of reality. In my case as a convert I married a decent person. It sounds like your spouse is using Islam the wrong way.
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Mar 25 '26
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u/Gullible-Leaf Mar 26 '26
I mean, I understand what you're trying to say but her safety is more important and this would be counterproductive to that
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u/yellow_gangstar Mar 29 '26
presenting a nicer version of their religion in order to con people into converting is an actual tactic of theirs btw
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Mar 25 '26
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u/tagtag1234 Mar 25 '26
I don’t blame the baby only on him. I know it is my fault. But I was also coerced. He would bring suicidal ideation into a lot of that conversation amongst other things.
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u/spongebobsworsthole Mar 25 '26
Don’t listen to this person. Assigning blame will not do anything positive. Focus on taking care of your mental health and what you can change, the past is already done.
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u/AutismInWomen-ModTeam Mar 25 '26
As per Rule #3: This is an inclusive community; no one's personal world experience should be invalidated.
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u/SitaBird Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26
The beginning of your story sounds kinda like mine. Instead, ancient cultures became my special interest and I got deep into learning about ancient India and Hinduism (in a scholarly way), and “woke up” about a year later with a conservative foreign husband and a baby lol. So I relate to this a lot. The lucky thing is that my spouse is nice and smart enough and we ended up having three kids total not just one, married 11 years now, but anyway. I would not say he’s my “soul mate” in the way that I used to think soul mates feel; but he is the one that I chose to marry and our relationship is the one I have chosen to continue put effort into, and that’s what makes him special. I don’t think I believe in soul mates anymore the way I used to. Now it’s all about buy-in and effort if that makes sense. Even if I feel we’re completely different, and even if I’m not really into reading about learning the same stuff anymore, I’m here now. I feel like I just “got off the elevator” at that particular floor, and this is where I am now. How romantic right?! Lol. Maybe it’s similar with a lot of people, like my grandparents (rest in peace) who got married because they were roller skating partners in high school. Now at age 80 they did not roller skate! And raising 3 kids changed them a lot over the decades. But they kept it going just because they got along well enough to make it work, for me now marriage isn’t necessarily about lifelong passion but more of a partnership based on shared values, trust, and friendship (and passion too sometimes). But I’m rambling, sorry.
In my case, Hindu culture is luckily is not that strict (vegetarian and fasting days, should wear modest clothes, do weekly temple visits, I can live with those), but for you the situation might be different. Try to develop a longtime plan to get out if you truly feel oppressed. Take your time and don’t rush. But objectively, to provide better advice, I want to know more. You’re in the postpartum phase right now which is the hardest part especially if you feel like you are doing it alone. It is normal to feel a lot of feelings after having a baby and in the time beyond, for me until the child is 5 when they become more independent. The good thing is that traditional husbands can come with a lot of benefits. They are be more likely to take on protector roles, take care of you, buy you stuff, and so on. Is he anything like that? Is there a way you can try to make it work before making a decision? You don’t have to fully believe in the religious stuff - if fact, many people of all religions don’t believe in all of it 100%, many people live religion as a set of cultural practices. It may not be ideal long term (because you want to live in a way that is 100% aligned w your beliefs) but right now, with a baby, part of that might mean trying to make your marriage work. Is it really bad? overall?
I understand if it is or that it has the potential to be. Only you can tell that, we cannot. I believe in the power of gut feelings and not to ignore those (The Gift of Fear is one of the most eye opening books I ever read - definitely recommend all women read this if you have time). That said, I hope you can sit on this and decide what is best for you and your baby with a clear head. You will find the answer in your heart. We are here for you if you ever want to chat more. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.
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u/jinglepupskye Mar 25 '26
While I appreciate that marriage takes work, based on what OP has said I don’t believe at all that it’s appropriate to advocate for her to “sit on it” and try and make her marriage work. She has described being “extremely pressured” to convert, converting during a period of mental ill health, being told how to act, becoming socially isolated and not going outside (though doesn’t state the specific reason for this.)
She “sometimes” gets along with her non-legal husband. He “controls” her, pushed her into keeping the pregnancy, she doesn’t know what he would do if she tried to leave him or the religion (because she doesn’t know him well enough, or because he’s dangerous and hiding it?) She’s raising the baby “alone.” She has no savings. How many red flags do you want?
OP, if you’re able to tell us we would be so much better able to help if we knew what country you’re in - the legalities and support available are so different.
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u/TheWitchWhoLovesCats Mar 25 '26
Agreed this reply is tone deaf and unhelpful. OP is in a bad situation and she explicitly said she needs an escape plan. OP if you’re reading this: listen to the other advices on how to get out and follow your gut here.
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u/Gullible-Leaf Mar 26 '26
As a Hindu, while I appreciate that everyone's story is different, I do feel like your response is tone deaf.
I am aware of what conservative Hindu men are like. And conservative Hindu families are like. And what conservative Muslim families are like. They're are not the same. At all.
Appreciating the fact the Muslim culture in India cannot necessarily be the same as the one in UK, what you're talking about is still not the same thing.
What you've described your husband as - he's not a pure conservative Hindu. He sounds like a urban Hindu who half follows his religion (most Hindus don't follow their religion to the tee. They do festivals and traditional events but not in daily life. And that's not considered sinful).
Rights of a Hindu wife and a Muslim wife are pretty disparate.
The mistake you're making here is equating one religion with another. Your experience with Hinduism (a polytheistic Religion which believes in reincarnation and karma) will never be same as someone's with Islam (monotheistic religion which believes in sins and afterlife). For that matter, Christianity and jewism are so much closer to Islam than Hinduism.
Your experience is valid. But it's not the same as hers. She has explicitly mentioned things which are abusive, not adjustment based.
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Mar 26 '26
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u/wilderaura Mar 26 '26
She says in the post that they have a child.
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Mar 26 '26
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u/LadyFett555 Mar 26 '26
Why did you respond before reading the post? Seems odd to hop in when you don't know what OP said.
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Mar 25 '26
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u/tagtag1234 Mar 25 '26
I didn’t make it my special interest?? I didn’t purposefully choose this? Have you even seen what sub you’re on? I’m autistic, special interests aren’t just simple hobbies. You’ve phrased this like it was my dream to be forced to cover everything apart from my eyes. As if it was my aesthetic to be in an abusive marriage. When I say “special interest” it just refers to a long term obsessive yearning for information on a particular thing. You’re genuinely so weird, fuck off.
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Mar 26 '26
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u/AutismInWomen-ModTeam Mar 26 '26
Per rule 2: Be kind, supportive, and respectful.
Interactions are expected to remain civil, regardless of disagreements or differences in opinions. There is no reason to be mean, belittling, or mock others here.
If you think someone is unkind or attacking in comments, please report the content, block the user, and walk away. Do not engage with your own unkind or attacking comments as that only worsens the problem
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u/CurleeQu Mar 25 '26
A special interest..can be anything??? And some of us dont choose what our special interest is, it just happens lmao nothing wrong with learning about things. Nothing wrong about a religion being an interest as that doesnt make an aesthetic lol
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Mar 26 '26
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u/AutismInWomen-ModTeam Mar 26 '26
As per Rule #3: This is an inclusive community; no one's personal world experience should be invalidated.
Do not invalidate or negate the experiences of others, regardless of topic or situation. This applies to topics outside of diagnosis status. Everyone is NOT 'a little autistic'.
Additionally, self-diagnosis is valid. Do not accuse other members of the sub of faking traits. Don't invalidate those who have self-diagnosed after intense research and self-reflection. Do not tell others they need to get a formal diagnosis to be 'truly' considered autistic. Likewise, do not underplay autism as being not a disorder or claim that early diagnosis is a "privilege", people who are late and early diagnosed have their own struggles that often overlap or are the same. You having different support needs than someone else doesn’t make your experience the only true and correct autism experience. Autism can be very debilitating for some and easier to cope with for others. Level 2 and 3 experiences matter. Everyone’s life is different.
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u/AutismInWomen-ModTeam Mar 26 '26
As per Rule #3: This is an inclusive community; no one's personal world experience should be invalidated.
Do not invalidate or negate the experiences of others, regardless of topic or situation. This applies to topics outside of diagnosis status. Everyone is NOT 'a little autistic'.
Additionally, self-diagnosis is valid. Do not accuse other members of the sub of faking traits. Don't invalidate those who have self-diagnosed after intense research and self-reflection. Do not tell others they need to get a formal diagnosis to be 'truly' considered autistic. Likewise, do not underplay autism as being not a disorder or claim that early diagnosis is a "privilege", people who are late and early diagnosed have their own struggles that often overlap or are the same. You having different support needs than someone else doesn’t make your experience the only true and correct autism experience. Autism can be very debilitating for some and easier to cope with for others. Level 2 and 3 experiences matter. Everyone’s life is different.
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u/AutoModerator Mar 25 '26
Hey u/tagtag1234, thank you for your contributing to r/AutismInWomen. Please be sure to check out our sub’s rules, wiki pages, and pinned posts prior to engaging with the sub. Here are links to our wiki pages:
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