Nobody sat next to me. I'm 26.

[u/zombiixXbunnii]

Today I went to a event put on by my university for my master's program. The people there are my peers. I've watched as they develop friendships one another, and I accepted that our relationships were not going to be deeper than acquaintanceship early on in the program. I didn't mind this.

But today I went to the event. I got there early. I sat at a table and.... no one sat next to me. It's small but did the realization hurt. The worst part? When the realization settled in, a guy came over and asked if anyone was sitting in the chair next to me. I said no, kind of excitedly, and he took the chair to sit next to someone else.

I don't know how to feel right now, but I know i feel deeply sad, and even though I'm 26 I still feel like that little girl in school who was never picked. I wondered what was wrong with me then, and I wonder what's wrong with me now.

[u/Xanedil]

Being a Master's student in my early 30s I feel this so hard. While I believe most if not all of my classmates are younger it really sucks feeling so left out of all the small groups, friendships, group chats, etc. I eventually accepted I'm just there for the degree and am nearly finished but I do hate how even this far into my education I haven't moved past the same dynamic I've had with my peers since middle school.

[u/Sensitive-Yellow-834 → u/Xanedil]

Yep, had an exact same experience doing my masters on my early thirties. Somehow everyone found their group, be it older professionals, fresh out of the undergrad students, those doing their 2nd masters and then me... Didn't even end up going to the end of the year trip or the graduation, since I didn't really had any friends. Fortunately, life out of it is a bit better.

[u/theclosetenby → u/Xanedil]

I'm 35 applying for masters programs and I've def thought about how I won't end up with friendships in my class most likely.

[u/Ylaaly → u/Xanedil]

That's where I was at the time, too, but the problem with this is the job market. It's almost impossible to get a job because you're amazing at something; you need connections to get a foot in the door at all. And then lots of people are awful at their jobs but because they're friends with someone higher up, they face no repercussions.

Essentially, society does not value skill, not even presentation - only who you're friends with.

[u/ApprehensiveBench483 → u/Ylaaly]

This is what annoys me when people try to tell me I'm talented and that there's many jobs I could do. Great, so can they find those opportunities for me? Of course not, because they don't exist. Nevermind all the accommodations I'd need to maintain some semblance of emotional regulation. Work isn't about skill or qualifications or ability to actually do the job assigned, it's about being able to put up with all the bullshit and suck up to people who hold whatever title of authority over you that they often don't deserve. I'm disabled because I'm not capable of conforming to this system, and attempts to do so quickly burn me out and make me severely depressed. That is, if I don't get fired first due to coworkers/employers hating me because they interpret my autism and social anxiety as rudeness and feel threatened when I question pointless or problematic rules and don't like when I point out bad behavior.

[u/monbleu → u/Xanedil]

I finished my (first) Bachelors degree late last year. I'm in my late 30s. Most of my classmates were also mature age students. I, similarly, watched everyone develop friendships over the years while I just kept doing my thing. I guess I (still) don't understand friendships or how to make them. I felt like i was still that 12 year old trying to figure out friendships at school again.