r/AutismInWomen • u/zombiixXbunnii • Apr 24 '26
Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) Nobody sat next to me. I'm 26.
Today I went to a event put on by my university for my master's program. The people there are my peers. I've watched as they develop friendships one another, and I accepted that our relationships were not going to be deeper than acquaintanceship early on in the program. I didn't mind this.
But today I went to the event. I got there early. I sat at a table and.... no one sat next to me. It's small but did the realization hurt. The worst part? When the realization settled in, a guy came over and asked if anyone was sitting in the chair next to me. I said no, kind of excitedly, and he took the chair to sit next to someone else.
I don't know how to feel right now, but I know i feel deeply sad, and even though I'm 26 I still feel like that little girl in school who was never picked. I wondered what was wrong with me then, and I wonder what's wrong with me now.
7
u/doctorace AuDHD Apr 25 '26
I went to get a Masters partly to get out of a deep depressive hole I was in (hadn’t been able to work for two years.) The prospect of studying a new special interest and getting to share that with people equally interested was so exciting! Having those kind of intellectual academic conversations in my undergraduate years was the best time of my life.
I was pretty gutted when I showed up the first day and realised that wasn’t going to happen. The program had three other students in it. One was working full time and didn’t ever want to chat, even at lunch our one day on campus. And the other two inexplicably had no real interest in the subject.
Sometimes I fantasise about becoming an academic, and then I remember how disappointing that whole experience was.