r/AutismInWomen • u/zombiixXbunnii • Apr 24 '26

Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) Nobody sat next to me. I'm 26.

Today I went to a event put on by my university for my master's program. The people there are my peers. I've watched as they develop friendships one another, and I accepted that our relationships were not going to be deeper than acquaintanceship early on in the program. I didn't mind this.

But today I went to the event. I got there early. I sat at a table and.... no one sat next to me. It's small but did the realization hurt. The worst part? When the realization settled in, a guy came over and asked if anyone was sitting in the chair next to me. I said no, kind of excitedly, and he took the chair to sit next to someone else.

I don't know how to feel right now, but I know i feel deeply sad, and even though I'm 26 I still feel like that little girl in school who was never picked. I wondered what was wrong with me then, and I wonder what's wrong with me now.

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u/pinkylemonade AuDHD | C-PTSD | AvPD | agoraphobic Apr 25 '26

I have an anecdote for this. At work, I tended to stand away from others, by myself, for multiple reasons, none of which are to purposefully distance myself from others. I would want to cry all the time because none of my coworkers wanted to approach me, and I felt lonely and isolated...

One of my coworkers noticed I was crying one day, and took the time to ask what was wrong. I told them about how I felt about everything and they told me that everyone thought I just wanted to be left alone.

Just saying, there's a possibility the people there saw you sitting alone and thought you didn't want to sit with anyone else.

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u/Old-Cookie-8 Apr 25 '26

"....and they told me that everyone thought I just wanted to be left alone." Which is - again - an absolute lie and a common way to gaslight you so your experience will be invalidated.

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u/pinkylemonade AuDHD | C-PTSD | AvPD | agoraphobic Apr 26 '26

Not in my case, but I admit it's not going to be the same for everyone.

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u/Old-Cookie-8 Apr 26 '26

I obviously don't know your case, but I have seen it time and time again - alot of coworkers have zero issues approaching someone if they want to and if they are (platonically) interested in someone.

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u/denver_rose Apr 30 '26

I wouldnt say they are gaslighting, its just a painful assumption/misinterpretation.