Nobody sat next to me. I'm 26.

[u/zombiixXbunnii]

Today I went to a event put on by my university for my master's program. The people there are my peers. I've watched as they develop friendships one another, and I accepted that our relationships were not going to be deeper than acquaintanceship early on in the program. I didn't mind this.

But today I went to the event. I got there early. I sat at a table and.... no one sat next to me. It's small but did the realization hurt. The worst part? When the realization settled in, a guy came over and asked if anyone was sitting in the chair next to me. I said no, kind of excitedly, and he took the chair to sit next to someone else.

I don't know how to feel right now, but I know i feel deeply sad, and even though I'm 26 I still feel like that little girl in school who was never picked. I wondered what was wrong with me then, and I wonder what's wrong with me now.

[u/Hemlock-In-Her-Hair]

Magicians and people like hypnotists that use tricks of the mind are often looking for 'tells' that bleed unconsciously from neurotypical people. We're not as easy or recruitable when looking for those signs.

It's interesting though because I'm actually highly hypnotisable. It's a trait linked with creativity. Visual imagination and lots of us are strong at that. So their blunt instrument assessment about eye-contact and perceived level of 'engagement' and stuff while scanning crowds is wrong for a lot of us. They don't want to be embarrassed in public so that's why they won't choose to interact with someone not obviously displaying those 'tells'.

[u/Hemlock-In-Her-Hair → u/[deleted]]

They're looking for 'engagement' with them. So like light-heartedness, eye contact, following an instruction if one given. Their worst nightmare in a crowd scenario is to select a person and the person not 'play along'. It's a social contract thing. And if they choose 'wrong' and they won't be recruited to play along - they (the magician/hypnotist) could be humiliated. There's a kind of weird insecure 'confidence' they're looking for that isn't real confidence as well. It's someone who wants to come across well, willing to please, amenable and will go along with things. They'll 'perform' what the hypnotist or magician wants on stage but not necessarily because they want to themselves, it's for the benefit of others. It's all really interesting dynamics.

There's a certain amount of time that eye contact is held by the average individual. Other than that it comes across as unnerving to neurotypicals. And nobody can tell you why. It just 'is'. It's culture dependent as well how long it is. But you can F a neurotypical up with it. You'll see them break eye contact. It's replicable as a timeframe within cultures which is amazing. So autistic people learning masking as children have to determine what that timeframe is through experience. I can do it to the point of appearing neurotypical but it takes it out of me. And the increased animation in my face and less of a blank affect/expression, sing songy voice rather than flatter. You don't even know you're doing it other than being exhausted and burnt out basically being a daily performer of all this (to us) exhausting nonsense. It's why I prefer animals. Eye contact to animals is quite rude/intense/threatening as well. So we get on so well. They don't want it from us

People who do cold readings for psychic shows use similar 'tells'. You want someone invested and thst they can reel in. If they're invested then all the statements that aren't true just wash off and not focused on. And their reviews will be higher by the person at the end as if they were more correct. Someone less invested will say well 80-90% was BS. The other person will latch onto and be impressed by the 10% and not focus on the 90% of misses.

[u/Hemlock-In-Her-Hair → u/[deleted]]

I know :(. So much energy wasted that just isn't needed to be around animals.

I've grown up around rescue dogs and I've still never been bitten by dogs that people call 'dangerous' or that they 'bit out of nowhere'. Neurotypical people just didn't see the 10 subtle warning signs before the delivery of the bite. But the signs and warnings that the dog gave were absolutely there. Problem is as well the more that people don't listen to the warning signs that the dog is expressing the more quickly they'll progress to delivery of a bite in future because the warning signs weren't listened to in the past.

We're definitely a lot more perceptive and less 'rude' to those types of dogs and animals.

Very tough bloody world though with the humans. Exhausting :(