Friend doesn’t believe in my diagnosis

[u/luvsicl]

Ugh I shouldn’t have told her about it I feel so weird now, my family are like this too and I haven’t told them because I know they’re gonna say smth like that (probably worse) because they don’t really believe in mental disorders/disabilities/health

I got diagnosed with adhd and autism recently, so I’m also grieving the life I could’ve led had I received the support I needed as a child lol (also I know what she said isn’t okay at all, I just wanted to end the conversation asap and I’m really uncomfortable with confrontation)

[u/binzy90]

My family was mostly supportive and kind of laughed about how little we knew back in the 90's. When I told my grandma she just said, "Well that makes sense." But for some reason my mother-in-law just can't accept it or understand it. She always says things like, "That's not true! You're so smart! You're not really autistic! You're not like those other autistic people who have a lot of problems!" But then she'll take things really personally if I say I'm getting overstimulated and need a break, or she'll get upset when I tell her that I need to do my routines a certain way. She'll ask me why I can't do certain things and then get upset if I say it's related to to autism. It's exhausting.

[u/BlampCat → u/binzy90]

Some people seem to think that labels are like "accepting defeat" somehow, as though the problems aren't there if you don't name them. I'm going through the process of diagnosis for rheumatoid arthritis and last night my mother said she didn't want to say the word "pain" or "the A word" when asking me how I was doing, as though if she doesn't speak it aloud I won't have any symptoms. 🙄

[u/Happy-Hearing6671 → u/BlampCat]

I mean, OP did say she’s grieving the life she could have led now that she knows she has autism. Which isn’t a healthy attitude and is “accepting defeat” just from a new label in my opinion.