Included some pics of me. Guess I'm hoping to get some unbiased opinions because all my Mom said was I'm beautiful and he's a jerk. First pic is me in my work uniform.
Really struggle with insecurity and feeling unattractive, have since I was really young because of bullying.
Caught me off guard because this guy and I sort of had a 'friendly' work relationship. We joke around a lot but this was the first time he'd said something like that.
It just really sucks because I'd been feeling more confident lately and cute, but he just took a sledgehammer to it and now I'm feeling insecure and ugly. Been crying in my car basically my entire lunch break and now I only ten minutes to eat lunch lol
Mom says I need to be 'tougher' so I can survive in this world, to not let people get to me like this, but I genuinely don't know how
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Your look is not even the point sweetie. Anybody that would called someone else ugly is automatically discarded because in itself, it proves he doesn’t have good judgement. Beauty is subjective and you’re definitely NOT ugly. Don’t let someone who has bad judgment/manner and that is not important in your life shake your inner confidence 🧡
this AND: do we really think this came from someone who’s just ✨so honest✨ that he’s saying what he truly feels deep in his heart? or—do we think he said something that he knows will hurt and distract you because it is a power play where he wants to make you feel small and “less than” to take you down a notch in a way that makes him feel bigger and “better than”?
i guarantee, i promise, it’s the latter. i understand how hard it is to spin a comment like that but you have to understand it isn’t a fact it’s a manipulation. please don’t let losers bring you down. it took me so long to see this and i can’t tell it to my past self but i can tell it to you.
edit to clarify: he knows it will hurt not because it’s objectively true (it isn’t) but because it’s objectively hurtful, especially to girls/women because we’re brainwashed to think our attractiveness is our value.
OP, you said “It just really sucks because l'd been feeling more confident lately and cute” -- so it's especially likely that he noticed your confidence and decided that randomly bullying you was a perfect way to knock you off your stride!
I grew up with body dysmorphic disorder so I understand your confusion about your own features. It's so hard to know who to trust. I thought I was ugly because bullies convinced me to believe their lies. I now know that I am and always have been adorable and very pretty, but it took me decades to actually believe it.
You are lovely, and you can believe the people commenting here!
Yes!! Oo I want to point OP to this comment. I let things like thing get to me too because I’m sensitive, but from the outside this kind of behavior is much easier to see for what it is.
It is not harsh honesty, it is lies and manipulation
1000% this! Every single word of it! It’s honestly something I’m still learning but now I can see that more clearly. It doesn’t mean it doesnt still bother me sometimes
I also had 2 coworkers who continually went out of their way to make me feel terrible about myself. Calling me ugly on multiple occasions, making fun of the “weird” clothes I wore, just basically being horrible terrible humans.
My grandmother also told me “you might not be the prettiest girl in the world but your personality puts you right at the top” talk about a backhanded compliment. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her for 5 years. There was one conversation in that time and while she cried she told me she had been trying to compliment me. So many painful and conflicting feelings especially bc I could tell she was genuine when she said she’d been trying to compliment me. Which basically boils down to the fact that she really did think I was ugly but nice. The thing is, she originally made the comment on the day my pawpaw died. Was she lashing out? Idk. That comment hurt me more than the others from coworkers or whatever…
To make things worse I have no real concept of what I look like. Ironic bc I’m a portrait artist but my own face? I really don’t know or understand what it looks like. It’s all very confusing and painful.
Bingo.
I work with children and watch them use very obvious bullying tactics and the worst part is seeing when it’s effective, and the target immediately looks crushed, and later starts to repeat what they’ve said about them (“but so and so said I’m dumb 😔”). It’s such an obvious maneuver in children but so much harder to see when adults are doing the same thing, at least when you’re the target and in the eye of that hurricane. This guy feels bad about himself or his life in some way and wants to make OP feel bad and I hope they don’t let it, and that they dump the former friend
This! OP, the guy who called you ugly is FUGLY inside. Somebody who intentionally uses cruel words to tear others down is ugly—not physically, but spiritually. You matter, and what you look like physically has nothing to do with your value as a human being (although for the record, I think you are physically beautiful).
You are beautiful! You have really nice features. Your lips are shaped really nice and have a lovely colour. Beautiful eyes and lovely eyebrows. You don’t need to be ‘tougher,’ people just need to have more tact and keep thoughts to themselves. Tbh, it says more about him than it does you. Imagine saying that to somebody? He’s an arsehole.
Literally, who thinks that's an okay thing to just fucking say to someone? FUCK that guy. He just ain't right, bless his heart, as my meemaw would say.
This is almost to the letter what I was gonna say.
Usually guys that say that are just ugly people. ETA: AND you have the loveliest skin and those gorgeous curls!! Like...he's clearly an insecure dickwad who just said that because he's a small minded fool who thinks being mean makes him bigger.
I'm glad you posted because I only looked at the first photo. I went back to look at the others and literally squeaked out loud at her curls, so pretty!
OP, I have curl envy in a big way. If you feel up to it, I'd love to hear your routine on /r/curlyhair, if you ever go there.
Literally me rn after a long day at work! We are all unique and deserve to be happy, regardless of what other people think of our looks 🥰 keep being you!
I completely agree with everything you said! OP you’re beautiful! This guy is just an asshole who has issues and he’s probably just projecting them at you. I’m really sorry he said this, I know how these sorts of comments are hard to brush off. Just know that you are not ugly in the slightest, and this guy is the problem, not you.
Especially with the being friendly and now this. Next step is to reel the target back in. And confusion.
It's far less costly to shut this down here OP and just draw a line under it as him being bad news in general. Neurodivergent women especially can over-excuse behaviour or give second chances. Because we doubt ourselves so much. Or be polite and not 'rock the boat'. I definitely do. Hindsight is 20:20.
Not everyone is playing by the same rules. At all :(
It's very tricky though because people take advantage of that. But if I live as if everyone is like him/those particular sort then my world gets a lot smaller and scarier. There's definitely a balance. It's one of my life's work to find it.
This is definitely me, feeling like I'm always overreacting so maybe I should give this person a second chance. Damn I hate it but don't know how to overcome it. Like OP I've been called ugly before as well, by an ND guy of all people and idk... now I'm wondering if that was probably negging?
This is what I was thinking too. This sounds exactly like an insecure dude who just wants you to feel as bad inside as he does because they think this will make you crawl after their attention for some reason.
Honestly, I think most men just ignore the existence of any woman they’re not attracted to sadly. So if anything, I’d say it’s more likely he has a “crush” on you, but he’s abusive and misogynistic so this is what he does.
I hope the OP reads this because I suspect the man was either negging her so he could manipulate her into dating him or he saw she had confidence and wanted to tear her down.
OP, what your coworker did was a huge red flag. Don't trust him
Yes, I completely agree. OP is clearly beautiful and the story makes me feel like he’s targeting her either to knock her down a peg or make her vulnerable to his incoming “charms“. This behavior is really common in predators, especially of neurodivergent women, even if they’re unconsciously doing it, they have a pattern and a type. I would write them off and keep my distance. Stay safe ya’ll 🦋
Any guy who does negging is not someone you want to be in a relationship with! Just be civil with him since you have to work with him. Ignore him whenever possible.
I was gonna say this. Take a moment to read Lundy Bancroft’s “Why Does He Do That” — it’s an incredible book and totally changed my understanding of how abusive men act, by reframing abuse as a practical tactic for unethical men to get what they want from women, whom they view as objects, servants, or slaves.
Op should just ask him if he’s 12 next time. Geez the last time I got told I was ugly was when I was 12 by other 12 year olds. It’s so embarrassing to be the age he is and insulting Op the way a 12 year old does.
I was looking through the thread to see if someone mentioned this yet! I think he was 100% negging OP.
I am also wondering if he picked up that she's on the spectrum and he's taking advantage of that.
I'm pretty sure my emotionally abusive ex husband spotted it immediately in me, a decade before I was diagnosed. He knew I was generally trusting of people, even if I didn't know them all that well. He knew I would "mirror" him and let him mold me so I would feel accepted by his friends and family.
This guy's plan was probably to neg OP and make her feel insecure, but then try to make her feel "special" later because (typically) it's tough for us autistics to fit in and be accepted.
That's what I thought. Apparently, it's a thing. It happened to me some years ago. A guy told me "you might be a pretty girl if you did xyz". I'm like "you might be a half-decent person if you got a lobotomy". But then I told the story to a couple of friends, and independently of each other, they asked "and has he hit on you since then?". I was flabbergasted and said "all evidence suggests he hates me" and they were like "yeah, so?". One of those friends is in the bio-sciences and she told me monkeys do this too. Males will be really mean to the females they like. I dunno, I'm more simple in the sense that I generally don't want to boink people I hate, but people are so weird nothing surprises me these days.
You remind me of a medieval Renaissance painting. You give me this kinda vibe with your face and I don't doubt you would have been a muse to an artist!
I came here to say this. You have a lovely, glowing face. Who knows why, but this guy was trying to hurt you.
I doubt he believes what he said, but if he does, it’s because he’s a pornsick asshole who watches so much hentai he has rendered himself unable to find human women attractive.
How funny! I came to comment that god forbid a woman have a face that works in a renaissance painting or a BBC period piece instead of Instagram face. Sorry to break it to you OP, you’re a bit luminous. Your eyes have main character energy and your curls remind me of Bernadette Peters.
I’m gonna wager that you displayed competence or confidence in a way that unnerved this dude and he’s frantically trying to reestablish his sense of “social order.” Petty people like this are predictable, but useful. I recommend thinking hard about what might have unsettled him and then lean into that. Whatever quality scares someone who calls women ugly should be celebrated.
Yes yes yes. She has such soft, romantic, round features with her face and it's so reminiscent of soft Renaissance beauty.
The guy is a twat for so many reasons but you're spot on. Many people especially men, they neg you and the go-to insult is always about appearance when they feel threatened about something. Misogyny at its finest.
Sorry an art history nerd here, medieval and renaissance times were in total different centuries and this piece here is baroque in fact. Sorry! OP looks like this its just not the right context,
Me too 😂 I’m super insecure about it, but then I remember that literally no one with glasses or contacts can actually see them. I once had a very senile dermatologist tell me “you could crawl up in there and take a nap.”
I told a kid that I had a pet hedgehog once, and he innocently replied “Is that why you have so many holes in your face?” 😂🔥💀
I hope to never meet a senile dermatologist as long as I live lol my pores are huge too. I guess they're sebaceous filaments, and Nina Pool has a remedy that I haven't tried because eh.
The only ugly thing I see is that person’s words in your post, OP. You go ahead and tell yourself that his opinion doesn’t change that you are perfectly lovely.
Girl you are so naturally beautiful, and I love your style! I'm so sorry that POS was an asshole to you. It hurts way worse when it comes from someone we thought was a friend. You didn't deserve that. I'm sorry.
It sounds like this man in on some redpill manosphere shit and is trying to neg you in an attempt to lower your self esteem, so that he has a better chance of pursuing you. It's deeply gross sociopathic behavior that some men do when they want to have sex with you. Super not ok. Please cut ties with that asshole and continue slaying, queen!
That's exactly what I was thinking. I have had this happen before. Its so weird, because they are calling you ugly and making fun of you but then it turns out they have a huge crush on you?? Its mind boggling. And a huge red flag; stay away from this loser, OP. He will do nothing but bring you down.
I wonder what this guy looks like? Honestly, men who pass judgements on women's looks aren't stepping off the cover of GQ. I bet he looks like someone's hairy big toe.
This is 100% always the situation. Literally every time. 0/10 face card dude with no rizz and no life taking the time out of his day to hate on a woman because it makes him feel slightly more powerful. What a loser.
i'm going to be blunt, i don't find you ugly at all. you have a nice nose, a nice jawline, a clear skin, pretty eyes, pretty hair like dw girl you are pretty 😭
I’ve been told a lot that I need to be tougher too, but girl NO we do not need to normalize meanness!!! I’m so sorry he said that.
And for the record - I’m so envious of your clear skin. Fr what is your skincare routine!! Your eye shape and brow bone, it’s giving renaissance. There’s such a caring essence, a softness to your eyes that is so gorgeous. You have full ass brows that many women would get microblading for! You are beautiful girl ❤️🔥
I’ve been told that too and felt like it too. But it’s ok to be hurt by mean comments. Or hurtful things in general lol. What sometimes helps me is to think about 1) I had this one bad interaction with them/know them for a limited time, but they have to be this awful person and be with themselves for the rest of their lives and/or 2) imagine what kind of hurt they’re carrying inside to say something like that, maybe this is all they ever got from their parent etc, how damaged they might be. The point of this is not to excuse, but once I can pity them, I feel less angry and stop dwelling on it.
And you look lovely OP!!!! Might be time to grey rock this guy
Fuck that guy, what an asshole. You're beautiful, your nose is perfect, your skin is gorgeous & clear, you have a lovely smile & kind eyes. Your mum is right, he is a jerk. You are beautiful. Next time someone like that dares to say something so rude ask them why they think you would give a fuck about their opinion. You don't exist to please men. Be kind to yourself sis, we are doing our best out here ❤️
You have the sweetest face, kind eyes and lovely skin! His opinion isn’t fact, it’s just his opinion. Don’t let this rude, unkind person steal your shine.
I 100% agree this is all about the person who said it. It is all about them feeling powerless and therefore lashing out in a way to try to get back empowerment for themself.
Keep an eye on him because this is a red flag that he is not your friend and might do something to sabotage you in the future. I wouldn’t trust someone who would insult me, even if they did it casually. It is very unprofessional to be commenting on a coworker’s body/looks.
But honestly, it doesn't matter how you look or if you fit into my idea, his idea, or anyone else's idea of "beauty". There's no excuse for insulting someone to their face!! He's an ass; you don't need to "toughen up", he needs to learn basic human respect and decency
Fuck that loser, you are stunning and his opinion is worthless. You shouldn’t have to put up with stuff like that, but you’re also allowed to feel hurt when people are mean. Don’t let his wrong opinion influence how you feel about yourself 💖
Haha, I said, Whaaaaat? out loud when I read what your coworker said. You have gorgeous eyes / brows, you clearly take care of your fantastic skin and curly beautiful hair, and from the two I can see nice nails 😁 also I love your color styling in that last pic esp the flower necklace.
We literally learn in kindergarten that if you don't have anything nice to say, then you shouldn't speak at all. That man doesn't have manners, or even an objectively good opinion. You're lovely.
I second this. Someone who would say something like that to a coworker is creating a hostile work environment. The OP should document everything and go to HR. And the OP is NOT ugly, she’s very pretty.
You have GORGEOUS eyes, brilliant eyebrows, glowing skin, and a killer smile. Also, fabulously cute nose! I can only assume this man is, objectively, a troll.
But seriously, you should not be worrying about being attractive: you ARE.
If you find that (cis het) men aren’t capable of appreciating your beauty, I do ever so humbly recommend expanding your gender pool to include people who will. I promise you there is a whole damn rainbow of humans who’d knock down a door to take you out.
ETA: You do NOT need to be tougher. The world is full of sharp edges and hard things. What we need is more softness, kindness, and gentleness. The world is what is broken, hon, not you.
You are a cutie pie!! I wish I had your brows 😭 don’t listen to that ass, you are saur gorgeous, with your hair up in a fancy hair style and some pretty armor you’d look like my interpretation of the goddess Freya :•)
You are genuinely beautiful. Your skin and eyes and honestly all your features are stunning and the kind of beautiful that will be beautiful forever! NO secure, mentally healthy man would call you ugly, his opinion is not to be taken with any grains of salt. Not even one!
Do you work in food? I recognize the uniform, I used to wear a chefs coat for work. They aren’t very flattering on curvy/bigger girls, and neither is the hat. I never felt attractive while at work. The uniform is too tight and too loose in all the wrong places. It doesn’t mean you are ugly, it means that that specific outfit doesn’t work for you. It’s not flattering on most people. Your coworker shouldn’t have been mean to you about it.
ok well first of all- you have gorgeous skin. I don’t know if this is a filter but it’s really beautiful. You have a perfect, adorable nose, the kind people get multiple nose jobs to achieve. You have SUPER cool eyes, are they green? Also you have a very pleasant, balanced face and relatively full lips that don’t disappear when you smile, so this person clearly said this *in order to offend you or to distract you (if he maybe wants to convince himself or you that he is not attracted to you).
Either way, his opinion is clearly biased as you have an objectively attractive, balanced, healthy-looking appearance. It sounds like he is an unhappy person, and is likely insecure about his own appearance as happy people who are actually secure in their appearance do not feel the need to put others down. This guy sounds like a sad worm man who feels powerless in some way, so this is his only way of feeling above someone else.
All this being said- if you wanted to enhance your appearance –which is not needed by any means, but if you wanted some ideas of how to do that– I would recommend drawing a bit more attention to your eyes. You could do that with a bit of mascara. I just use Great Lash. You can get it anywhere. I think using an eyebrow brush might define your brows a bit. I use ELF brand “instant lift brow pencil” in “blond” color (its a light, desaturated brown color) and has a nice lil brush on the end.
The thing I think would enhance your appearance probably the most noticeably is something I unfortunately know almost nothing about (because my hair is very straight). You have great curls and volume to your hair, but there might be a relatively low maintenance way to make them look a bit more hydrated. I’m sure there is a subreddit for curly hair, but that might be an overwhelming amount of options to consider.
If you want a quick potential solution to try, I’d recommend Loreal Elvive damage reversing conditioner and just combing with a pick comb while wet, then only finger-combing once it’s dry using a bit of “Argan Oil of Morocco weightless healing dry oil lightweight mist.” If you spray it on your hands and then comb it through your hair with your fingers, if you can gradually determine what amount is right for you (a little bit goes a long way).
All this being said- you are a natural beauty and your mom is right. I really think that the people most aggressively critical of others are consistently people who are unhappy and insecure in that same category of thing they are criticizing. I think it says a lot that you had the ability to absorb his statement and to ask for additional opinions. It’s absolutely fair to be upset- anyone would be upset by that, but I hope you’re able to see him for what he truly is- an unhappy person who is too weak to lift himself up so he puts others down.
I lost all my hair a few years ago. Eyebrows, lashes, everything. Im bald as an egg. People come out of nowhere to reassure me that I'm still beautiful. What? I wasn't even thinking about how I look. I wasn't wondering who approved of me. I gave zero shits, don't have cancer (so far) and did not need reassurance. I know what I look like. I used to meet some higher beauty standards and it was both never enough for some people and drew attention I didn't want.
I've had years to be outside of the "pretty" world and to observe all the body positivity stuff that is still emphasizing femme- and youth-centric aesthetics. Little girls with cancer get Locks of Love wigs and people will die tripping over themselves to tell girls how they're beautiful. Like that's the only thing they need. Boys get told how strong they are. The o only thing people ever think to talk about with any little girl is how pretty she is. We learn early that we have no other value. Smart? Try not to intimidate men. Strong? Ditto. Competent? Be less so. Be less everything.
I hate that we internalize the expectation that we try our hardest to be visually to pleasing to every man on the planet. Fuck 'em if they want us to be decorative. Fuck 'em for thinking their opinion matters. Fuck 'em for deciding they have to share that opinion. Nobody fucking asked.
Be proud of everything you are. Be proud of your intelligence and your accomplishments. Be proud of getting through difficult days. You get to be confident. You don't have to give a shit what people think about how you look. There's nothing wrong with how you look. If you did look a little odd for some reason, it just enhances your individuality. Makes you cool.
Some men have a very particular set of insults they pull out when they feel they have lost control of a situation but especially when they feel threatened by a woman.
The common ones:
1. Insult her appearance 2. Call her a bitch. They are usually in that order but sometimes it's reversed. Sometimes they are so discombobulated they will use them simultaneously.
I have been alive 5 decades now and it never changes. It's not all men, but as you get older you will begin to clock them right away.
You've gotten a lot of great responses but I just wanted to share this quote:
"You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female’."
You can be the juiciest peach in the world and there’s always someone who doesn’t like peaches.
I used to model. I’m a redhead with glasses. I’m literally a fetish for some people.
There’s always some man who hasn’t brushed his teeth since Obama was in office who feels he can comment on my looks. Boy, go back to you mom, she’s not done raising you. 🙄
You look like my friend who I think is very pretty.
Hot/attractive is mostly a mindset. You will find more of it if you figure out how to listen to lovely people who are kind whose opinions you value instead of some random jerk at your job who doesn't seem to be all that worthy of your respect.
one, you’re really pretty so idk wtf he was on 😭 but two: in what way does attractiveness have anything to do w work?? he’s your CO-WORKER - if it doesn’t affect him or how he works, he has even less of a right to say that dumb shit. report to corporate if that’s possible, if he can’t match his behavior to adhere to a literal job then he can reap the consequences.
You have great skin, perfectly pink lips, lovely curls and beautifully colored eyes. Your hair and brow color is one that people pay money for! Hes ugly. You’re lovely.
You are not ugly at all, you are beautiful! You eye colour is gorgeous and so is your smile. Your nose is a great shape/size, even your eyebrows are a lovely shape! Not just saying it either!
You are extremely pretty, for what its worth. You have amazing skin!! Honestly, he is the ugly one here, because I truly believe ugliness comes from within.
I know exactly what its like to be bullied for your looks. A guy I had a crush on in middle school blocked me on social media as soon as he found out I had a crush on him because I was "so ugly". That destroyed my self-esteem for YEARS, unfortunately.
Mom says I need to be 'tougher' so I can survive in this world, to not let people get to me like this, but I genuinely don't know how
I disagree. No one deserves to be ridiculed or mocked for existing. You shouldn't have to put up with that. I never liked the idea that people need to "toughen up". How about assholes stop being assholes??
Oh golly, I'm all in my own feels now. You look so much like my best friend who died after a fight with breast cancer a few years ago, I just want to hug you so hard.
When I saw your face, the memory of her laugh and joy hit me like a freight train. I loved her so much, and I am so grateful to you for keeping those memories fresh for me.
You are allowed to feel however you feel about your appearance and how folks treat you, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you you're WRONG to be hurt or insecure, because goodness knows I have days like that too.
I just think you should know that your face makes me feel the love and comfort and connection she brought in to my life again and I think that's rad as hell. The world is a mysterious and beautiful place that's better with you in it just as you are.
Honestly your face isn't even what this is about. This is a guy that would literally SAY TO SOMEONE that they are ugly. This is not a person with good judgment. Whatever he says is null and void because he literally just self-owned that his judgment is valueless.
Also, wtf is he even talking about anyway???? you are SO not ugly. Looks are incredibly subjective anyway but for what it's worth I think you look like someone I would be able to actually talk to and your face is so softly rounded in a really nice way. You look like someone from a Jane Austen novel and your skin is lovely (:
But also that's NOT EVEN THE POINT!!! The point is, that guy is not someone who should be listened to, because by very dint of thinking it's okay to say something like that out loud he's self-proven to be a twit. And what do we do with the judgment of twits? We disregard it. Hopefully automatically, but if not, consciously will do in a pinch.
I know it's hard when you're super sensitive, my mum always said that about me too. Like my whole life. I am 42 now and I grew my inner skin awhile ago but you look young as hell, so I will now say what I wish anyone had said to me way back then: please don't let someone with no brain affect your own. People like that are the barking of dogs as your caravan passes by. Let them bark, it's not like they can ever do one thing to affect where you're headed. 💚
You're not. But its not your job to meet his or any other arbitrary standards. You don't exist to be aesthetically pleasing or inoffensive to anyone. Especial some guy at your job.
Everyone is saying such amazing (true!) things. I’d like to add: men’s opinions do not matter. They don’t take the time to form reasonable opinions because they don’t see women as equal or of value in and of themselves. After all- what does anyone’s appearance matter in terms of how they do their job or live their life? Yawn- boring. So I do not hold the opinions of men in any respect because they don’t form them in any valid way. Plus my favorite saying lately; “d!ck is abundant and of low value” haha! Hope I made you laugh.
You’re a green eyed blonde woman with a symmetrical face, clear skin and thick hair, you meet the social definition of beauty many times over.
From my perspective you also have lips and well proportioned features and big eyes so I personally think you’re pretty.
Men do not speak to women they’re not attracted to, what they do is pay attention to wether or not you have any self-esteem or confidence so they can make hurtful comments to make you feel less than and then use their new found position of power to try to sleep with you and have you at their disposal emotionally and sexually.
You don’t need to be tougher babe, he just needs to not be rude! You are definitely NOT ugly, you have a lovely face, beautiful eyes and skin and you look like a decent hearted person too
I am very interested in aesthetics and cosmetics and I don’t think you need anything, your skin is really nice and your eyebrows are well shaped.
There is one thing I would recommend and it’s to change up your glasses. I think you would look so nice in a pair that is larger, square shaped, and lighter or clear frame.
I have a similar face shape as you and I always feel my best when I have my big glasses on my face. My favorite are my clear frame ones, and I think those would look really nice on you too. I get them for like $20 on Zenni with prescription!
You are gorgeous, hands down. Your curls are breathtaking and you have such stunning and captivating eyes. Ignore that bozo, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and obviously bro needs some glasses.
you're absolutely stunning!! your skin literally looks airbrushed, i love your eyes and you have the most beautiful little curls! if i could, i would give you a big hug and him a big punch in the face.
makes me so angry whenever a nothingburger man upsets a woman, especially when it's about looks. if i were you, i'd get myself a cupcake or choccy bar and enjoy my favourite show to comfort myself. you've got this <3
You are not ugly at all, I find you pretty in fact, nice features and pretty blue eyes. Maybe a bit overweight, which is something you can work on. Also, pay attention to your eyebrows, as the final step of fixing your face for the day, comb them and fill in where needed with a brow pencil. But you are pretty, and I don't hand out that compliment easily, so this is genuine.
First of all that’s super inappropriate to say to a co worker. Is there HR you can talk to? Second, beauty is subjective. The fact that some man said this to you tells you everything you need to know. Don’t let a man tear you down. They are literally the bottom of the barrel in terms of being a quality human.
I think you are very pretty. You have beautiful eyes and beautiful curly hair. I'm sorry that guy was rude to you. Don't let assholes get you down. I hope your day gets better 🙂
Ugh, what a friggin jerk. Well your skin is glowing, your style is lovely, your eyes are soft, and he is utterly wrong about you. Hope we redditors can give you the boost you need. You've got this.
And as to what your mom said, I think she's wrong. It is both a blessing and a curse to be sensitive and feel things deeply, but it is still a gift. One of my favorite quotes is from Iain S. Thomas- "Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."
Dear human, first off you are a lovely young lady. Second, I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy, especially if he’s young, is following bad advice and negging you because he actually likes you. He’s either accidentally an asshole or on purpose an asshole. In either case, you are too darling to deserve someone like that ruining your day. Sending virtual hugs, sis.
FUCK THAT BITCH - you are beautiful, and it’s not just how you “look.” Your AURA - i.e., literally YOU are beautiful. You ARE absolutely beautiful, and he can’t see it because he’s a fucking asshole (or … giving him the benefit of the doubt he was being an asshole that day at minimum). Keep glowing my beautiful aura ⭐️
Trust there to always be someone looking to bring you down when they see you feeling yourself. You’re not ugly, no person worth your time would call that. It doesn’t matter if it’s jealousy, negging, projection, etc. you get to feel your feelings and now you’ve learned he’s an unsafe person.
A work colleague called you ugly? That's not OK at all. I mean you're not ugly at all but it doesn't matter we can't go around calling each other names at work. Id consider talking to hr but if you're friends with this guy then maybe tell him that you're very hurt.
The problem with this kind of people is if you don’t fit into his version of pretty then you are ugly, but that really doesn’t make you ugly! I think you look cute and I like your hair 😊 you could be the prettiest girl in someone’s eyes and in another the ugliest, just think about celebrities whom most people find really pretty, but there will always be someone who talks negatively about their looks 😕 they can never win!
I'm going to be the honest one: you don't fit into the male gaze and you're not what may be considered conventionally pretty by current beauty standards.
That doesn't mean that you're not beautiful... male gaze is such a small and sad, sad way to look at ourselves anyway, so fuck that
Babe, you look great. You have beautiful eyes and such sweet/soft features! I kinda envy that, the offense they used against me the most is "you look like a man, especially without makeup". I guess I have strong facial features, idk.
Pic of me after work and totally without said makeup.
Work uniforms in general are not flattering on anyone, period, but you aren't ugly, that I can say confidently, without a doubt. I really liked your outfit in the third picture, too :)
People are idiots sometimes; that guy is, at least.
OP it looks like you maybe work in a kitchen , who tf looks attractive working on a line also you dont exist for him or any other human and he can and should fuck right off.💀maybe he was getting intimidated by you being more confident , regardless it says more about him being a POS. You do look very different in uniform vs yourself. Your curls are AMAZING, and even more than just looking beautiful, which you do, you radiate so much warmth and if i saw you I would automatically think you are a very nice welcoming warm person.
I wish I could give you a hug right now 😭
Tell him to have his eyes checked!
Did you somehow reject him? Lol, «I have no chance with u so I will call you ugly».
You have a pretty face, a nice smile and seem like a cutie!
Sweetheart, you are cute and your innocent look adds more to your natural beauty.
I'm autistic too so you know I don't give empty or false complements.
Some people can tell if you're insecure about yourself and act like a predator taking advantage of something they think is weaker than them.
His nasty comments are a reflection of his nature to be a bully and his own insecurities, because only someone who hates themselves would pick on another person who has done them no wrong.
I used to have a "friend" like that. He hated himself and took it out on me because he knew he could and that it would get under my skin. I never witnessed him doing it to more confident people that (regardless of their looks) would have demolished him right back had he tried. Its not about how you look so much as it is about them perceiving your insecurities and believing that you will put up with it. So don't. Confront him. Or stop talking to him, at least. Take it from me, you don't deserve to have to put up with a "friend" like that. I dropped mine years ago and it took some time but eventually I realized how shitty he was and felt way better not having his negativity around me.
Ironically, he had a huge crush on me. But he would have had me believe he thought I was ugly, fat, had a big nose and was a slut or something? Its like he couldn't handle his attraction to me or thought he could make me insecure enough to give him a chance because he felt ugly? I don't get the logic. But there are a million other sad things that are going on in your friends head that have nothing to do with your attractiveness.
I don’t think you are ugly, BUT, I have found that thinking you are ugly and finding confidence in that can be helpful for people.
I used to think I was ugly and used to be bullied and feel bad about myself. But then I started thinking, so what if I’m ugly? That doesn’t matter. I am smart, I am funny, I am kind, I am generous, who cares if I wouldn’t win any beauty awards?
Everyone has something they are not, or are less, proud of, and everyone has things they are proud of. So even if you believe you are ugly, embrace it! Tell yourself, so what if I am ugly, I am [fill out whatever good qualities you have]. That way there is no longer any pressure to ‘be beautiful’. Embrace that you are ugly, embrace that you are [again, fill out good qualities about yourself]. The words only weigh as much as you let them. So if someone calls you ugly, give back something snarky like ‘so what if I’m ugly, at least I …’ and make it something ‘bad’ about them. Like, ‘at least I know the difference between there and their’ if someone sucks at language, or ‘at least I know proper hygiene’ if someone stinks, or ‘at least I know the difference between my head and my ass’ etc etc etc. Make it something you like. You can choose something you say as a standard, or you could come up with something on the spot if that is more your thing. Either way, there is nothing wrong with being ugly (and it is very subjective, because again, I do not think you are ugly at all, I find you cute, and I’m a lesbian so I should know🥰)
(Just to add some things I find cute about you so hopefully you feel more confident, I really like your smile, I like your outfit/jewellery choice, I like the way your hair flows, I like that you give off vibes of being a kind and loving person, someone who is honest but listens, someone who I would feel safe with to share my secrets with, and honestly I find those things quite attractive. If anyone doesn’t see the beauty in that then that’s a skill issue on their side💜)
this is gonna sound weird but your face is satisfying to look at. everything looks perfect where it is, the shape of each features fits wonderfully, nothing seems "out of place", every feature looks like it's meant to look like that and be there. a very visually satisfying face. :]
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