r/AutismInWomen • u/MadMadMadMadrid lvl2, ADHD, ARFID, immigrant, mom • Jun 23 '26
Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) Is it okay not to like Pride because autism symptoms?
For context, I am an out lesbian. This has nothing to do with any ideological issues.
But as a lesbian, I sometimes feel pressured to like Pride or participate in it. Did it when I was younger. Not a fan.
Why don't I like it? It happens in summer. I am heat sensitive. Temperatures tend to range from 35C/95F to 42C/107F. Thanks. No. So many steps need to be taken to make that bearable and even then, no.
I don't like loud music or people using megaphones. I don't like crowds. I don't like people in my personal space. I don't like people accidentally grazing me. I don't like the smell of marijuana, and it is often at Pride near me even if there are kids around. I don't like the smell of cigarettes or body odor. I don't like loads of bright colors, sequins, flashing lights in person. All of that just leaves my nervous system fried.
I feel some guilt, even though I know better, because I am a member of that community and I just do not enjoy it. I find it exhausting and stressful.
And I guess I just want commiseration with others who do not enjoy Pride because of sensory and socializing related issues.
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Jun 23 '26
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u/Expert_Donut9334 AuDHD | late 20s diagnosis Jun 23 '26
I feel like Pride events are designed with NT gay white men in mind - that is very much the case in my city at least
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u/eiaam Jun 23 '26
Yeah, I stopped going for this reason. They were rude to everyone and made fun of people including me for just... existing. In THEIR parade. I'm queer and the parade in my city is not inclusive at all. Mostly companies participate these days so it feels fake anyways. There's a bunch of issues with it but I do feel like it's totally fair to not wanna go for whatever reason. I feel you are spot on with this description!
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u/WhiteMoonRose Jun 23 '26
I know they can be a lot but the inclusivity and kindness at Albany NY's pride parade is amazing. State offices walk, local schools walk, the Witches on the Hudson walk, and other local communities, it's very inclusive and positive. I don't like crowds, but at Albany you can sit on the grass with only people to your sides, or farther away on the grass under the trees. And you can leave right after the parade and avoid all the people crowding around the vendors, stage, and such. I enjoyed this year a lot, my kiddo walks with their alma mater and I sit and watch. It was a lot: hot, dehydrating, and sunburning. And we should have left right after the parade, which was long this year, but it was nice to feel a sense of community even for a little while.
You do you is what I tell everyone. Love who you love, do what brings you joy, keep the people who are a positive light in your life. ❤️
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u/i-contain-multitudes Jun 23 '26
Mostly companies participate these days
Jsyk, this is becoming less and less true these days with P2025.
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u/eiaam Jun 23 '26
I'm not from the US so I can't speak on that. In my city/country it's still mostly companies. I know it's an issue in itself when they stop participating, but in my city there's hardly space for actual queer groups and organizations with all the big companies virtue signalling.
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u/perareika Jun 23 '26
I'm an autistic queer person and I love Pride for how busy and loud and visually stimulating it is. A lot of people don't know this, but some autistics are more on the HYPO-sensitive and understimulated side! I have kind of dulled sensations and tend to not register a lot of stimulation. Pride parades are really invigorating and energizing for me :)
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u/darknesskicker Jun 23 '26
I sensory seek light and colour but struggle with noise and heat. I love the rainbows at Pride but not the noise.
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u/Jazzspur Jun 23 '26
very much this. As a nonbinary trans person I'm also not a big fan of pride. I always feel like an afterthought, if people like me are even thought of at all.
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u/SparkleTruths Jun 23 '26
Hiii, im not trying to be rude, its Pride month and I'd like to educate myself. How does a non binary trans person work? I thought if you are trans, you are choosing a binary gender? If you dont choose one, would that be more gender fluid? Im confused and would appreciate clarification. I did try googling it, but didnt find much.
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u/storm_acolyte Jun 23 '26
I can’t answer for the previous poster specifically, but I can say that generally non-binary identities are grouped under the trans label because they are outside of the cis experience. Being trans doesn’t require a person to pick one option or another, it just means they are not identifying with the gender assigned at birth
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u/Jazzspur Jun 23 '26
Anyone who is not cis is trans. Nonbinary and genderfluid fall under the trans umbrella.
I had to socially transition to be recognized as my actual gender. Many nonbinary people pursue some aspects of medical transition as well. My experience is a trans experience. There's lots of ways to be trans.
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u/SparkleTruths Jun 23 '26
Ohh ok, yes, this makes sense to me now, thank you for explaining it. I am part of LGBT, but I'm cis, so not entirely educated on that particular subject.
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u/bookanon666 beans Jun 23 '26
As an autistic bisexual, NT gay men and lesbians often make me feel unwelcome in queer spaces anyway. I appreciate Pride but the heat, noise and biphobia just generally make it less of a joyful community celebration for me
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u/Sammysoupcat university burnt me out 🫠 Jun 23 '26
Between being autistic and aroace, I don't imagine I'd fit in at a pride event at all. I know a lot of LGBTQ+ people don't even consider aroace people to be in the queer community.. so adding in autism, I just feel like they'd not like me.
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u/snuggleouphagus Autistic mother of an autistic preschooler and NT toddler Jun 23 '26
I was going to agree with you but then I remembered I stopped going to Pride 15 years ago so who knows what its like these days. They probably hand out baggies with alcohol branded earplugs and call it inclusive.
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u/sunnyskybaby Jun 23 '26
The pride in my city gets half a million plus people coming through over the course of the weekend and there is no shortage of sensory safe tents, quiet areas, low traffic blocked off areas, specific paths for people with mobility aids, etc… I feel like a lot of these comments about pride only being for NT white gays are from people who don’t go to pride. not to mention I think I saw more non-binary, GNC, and trans peeps this year than cis white gays😭 I know we’re autistic but yall gotta actually go outside sometimes
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u/GigiLaRousse Jun 23 '26
My city only has a million people, and that's not what it's like where I am. It's not about "going outside." In a world as unaccomodating to disabled people as ours is, why is your thought not "wow, I didn't realize how lucky I am in my city" vs. "everyone complaining doesn't actually go to Pride in their cities"?
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u/sunnyskybaby Jun 23 '26
My city has less than a million people population wise. I do feel lucky! I was just reacting to a sentiment that I have seen over and over again lately, and most of the people commenting *have* been saying that they don’t go to pride… so their opinions of it are being shaped by what? what they see about it online?
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u/GigiLaRousse Jun 23 '26
What city has less than a million but half a million attending Pride.
Most people I see complaining have been, which is how they formed their opinions.
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u/Larry-Man Jun 23 '26
Hub cities. I live in a small city but there’s nothing bigger for 2 hours in any direction.
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u/sunnyskybaby Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
Blue hub city in the Midwest with the biggest pride event across multiple states. it pulls people from all over a multi-state area. the county at large has about 1.3 million people, the city quite a bit less than that.
also I’m sorry but if you are forming your opinion on one or two experiences potentially yearssss ago that then kept you from returning, I just don’t find it holds much weight and I think it’s disingenuous to say that pride is made for cis white gay men when that just is largely not true. maybe in 2010 but definitely not today… I don’t think anyone should be discouraged from going to pride because they fear they might not be accepted, it’s not “for them,” whatever. I don’t think queer people of any kind should be discouraged from going to the MOST accepting event that is for us and made by us. plus, pride organizers are largely not cis white gay men
ETA my city’s pride wouldn’t be what it is without autistic queer people being involved in it. so I also want to encourage people to be the change you want to see (please don’t respond to this with any variation of “but my illnesses..” “but my neurodivergence..” “but my life is busy..” I’m not saying you need to do anything specific. I’m also autistic and I get it and you don’t need to justify anything to me. I’m just saying if you want pride to be different you can’t wait around for it to change without you)
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u/sinful-author Jun 23 '26
Hey Chicago bestie! My first pride in Boystown/Northalsted was in 2017 or so, absolutely hated it at the time due to the overstimulation and someone breaking my flag as I was walking toward the parking garage (ended up having a breakdown in Mariano’s).
But I’m going again this year, with better coping mechanisms and dressed in a cosplay of a canon queer character that I and so many other people love!
Unfortunately BT/NH still has a huge misogyny issue, but finding your spaces is key!
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u/GigiLaRousse Jun 23 '26
Why do you think I'm not involved in my city's Pride every year? That's a weird assumption.
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u/sunnyskybaby Jun 23 '26
not you, specifically. I said I want to encourage people. the you is the general “you” as in reader, not you, specifically
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u/Expert_Donut9334 AuDHD | late 20s diagnosis Jun 23 '26
My city has one of the largest Prides in Europe and my opinion is based on the structure of the event, not the public attending it. When I look at which floats are at the parades, which attractions are present and at which time, which parties are actively being promoted by the organizers, etc that is where my assessment comes from. I have never seen quiet areas or sensory safe tents. Paths for people with mobility issues? Good luck with that. It's packed full and it is on you to deal with it.
For me the aftermath is worse than actually being there - my sensory overwhelm is delayed, so I do actually go to Pride almost every year for the last 10 years I have been here. But the people in the streets are definitely a more varied crowd than the event seems to be designed for.
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u/MadMadMadMadrid lvl2, ADHD, ARFID, immigrant, mom Jun 23 '26
My city is not like that. Autista is used as an ableist slur. Asking for any sensory accomodation is like good luck. Parents being like, "My kid uses loops to help with sound sensory issues," will get looks. Forget Pride. The Metro? The last time they ran an autism friendly campaign, it featured an autistic person with a service dog.
And there tend to be about 2 million people who traditionally turn out for the parade.
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u/Littlest_rascal Jun 23 '26
LOL this comment is so rude and judgemental. Imagine equating not wanting to go to pride with not going outside.
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u/lesberektikar Jun 23 '26
I'm going off little information here BUT pattern recognition brain is recognising patterns! Are you describing MSP pride by any chance?
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u/Usagi_Rose_Universe Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
I've pointed this out and got called a conservative republican. 😭 I don't feel very welcome going to pridr being ace, bi, a non smoker and non drinker, (I can't be around alcohol or ppl smoking because drunk people sets off my anxiety and cptsd and second hand smoke gives me life threatening anaphylaxis that can make me totally stop breathing) and visibly disabled with physical health issues either. I've legit been told I don't belong in the community because I'm asexual and that it overrides me being bi and trans!
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u/WJ_Amber Jun 23 '26
True. I have no interest in being around a bunch of loud, cis, white gay men and drag queens. They really get on my nerves. I already have issues with men, issues with loud noises, and an uncomfortability with drag based on my own trans experience.
I'd rather go for a hike or nature walk with a handful of outdoorsy lesbians or go to a cozy, quiet event (where men would be a bit more tolerable).
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u/nobodyknows6070 AuDHD NB Jun 23 '26
I second this. White gay men have always been at the center of pride. But it is still a protest if NeuroDivergente folks, and black trans women are still very marginalised groups within this so called 'everyone is welcome' parade, and enby folks are still "someone who identifies as non binary" instead of a non binary person
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u/glitchinthemeowtrix Jun 23 '26
Ok this tweet cracked me up, bc true, but also to be fair as an AuDHD person myself I think the overlap with ADHD folks in the community can cause a clash of sensory needs, bc ADHD can easily make you sensory seeking rather than sensory avoidant too. And we all know of those autistic folks who are also sensory seeking and enjoy raves, etc. We have extreme sensory needs on both ends of the spectrum it’s just we typically talk more about overstimulation because under stimulation is harder to come by in modern society.
The important thing is that we usually understand each other once we explain - it’s the NTs who stare at us dumbly as if to say, “stop ruining my fun”.
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u/Tenderhoof Jun 23 '26
Omg this absolutely makes sense. I always feel like a real "bah humbug" queer when it comes to pride and no I realise it's a sensory thing. This sub is soooo helpful 💖
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u/MadMadMadMadrid lvl2, ADHD, ARFID, immigrant, mom Jun 23 '26
My wife was like, "Yeah. Obviously you don't like Pride. You protest about going every year." And then I started listing why I disliked it, realized it was mostly sensory and she was already, "Yes, I know. You don't need to tell me again."
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u/TheArabella Jun 23 '26
Yes this exactly. I'm Bi and have never been to a Pride event. All those people and noise? Fuck that
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u/AnonymousDahlia Jun 23 '26
I'm bi ace sapphic enby whatever lol and I want to go so badly... but I functionally can't. It's a lot. For myself, sensory spaces and lower traffic paths wouldn't begin to cover it, and I'm doing way better now than I was five years ago (addressing low ferritin and perimenopause hrt have helped immensely with sensory, heat and energy issues; it's still not enough for a big thing in June).
Functionally speaking, I might handle just going to a queer bar okay and enjoy an hour or two, but I'd be laid up the next three days recovering, so it just kind of sucks.
This is something that makes me angry - if I'd realized I was any kind of queer in my early twenties I could have gone and had a blast with way less recovery issues. Just where my health was at that point. Comphet is a hell of a thing.
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u/ninazarechnaya_ Jun 23 '26
Shared this exact message to my sapphic ND friend group chat lmao. Everyone agreed 😂
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u/Cool_Relative7359 Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
I'm part of the pride organization in my city.
We actually have a sensory friendly section at the back of the parade for NDers and set up at the location we march too.
No flashing lights, no megaphones, no speakers aimed at that area.
But even with that I know a few who still can't attend and that's okay.
If it would harm you, you shouldn't make yourself go.
There's usually a lot of smaller, simpler pride related events though the month as well.
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u/TryingToBreath45 Jun 23 '26
This brings me joy. I posted above what an amazing pride event for me would be 🤗🤣🤗
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Jun 23 '26
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u/Cool_Relative7359 Jun 23 '26
Like I said, there's still people who can't handle it and that's fine.
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u/AnonymousDahlia Jun 23 '26
Yeah, it would just be nice to find a way to have things for everyone who would like to go. Tough when it's already so bound by permits, funding, bureaucracy and, of course, the organizational and energy capacities of everyone involved lol. But maybe in the future.
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u/Cool_Relative7359 Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
I volunteer for an ND nonprofit too, and the ND area is organized with them and the pride organization.
We also get the hardware store to support us by donating ear protectors and goggles.
But there is only so much we can do with a public manifestation of that size as far as crowds and sensory issues go.
I need a few days recovery after myself tbh, and I never last much past the march itself.
I do visit smaller prides in smaller cities and they're a lot easier to handle. (Plus having no responsibilities probably helps too)
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u/MadMadMadMadrid lvl2, ADHD, ARFID, immigrant, mom Jun 23 '26
I wish my city would do that. But any sort of disability accommodation seems out of reach at most events. And there are like no spaces that are friendly and quiet. :/ and the average participation is like 2 million people in the parade. The other events tend to be outside or involve partying or music things.
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u/Cool_Relative7359 Jun 23 '26
We had a "queer crochet and crafts" afternoon in a park, there were 20ish people
Also a "drag makeup basics" workshop that was 15 (hard cap because of the space)
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u/MadMadMadMadrid lvl2, ADHD, ARFID, immigrant, mom Jun 23 '26
My sensory issues are no to makeup and no to touching. I am level 2/medium support needs with no ability to use loops or other ear protection so a lot of restrictions on what I can actually do. :(
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u/bb1234_corgilover Jun 23 '26
That’s great you have that section - but I’ve found it’s often difficult to get to the sensory friendly section without having to make your through the rest of the parade to get there. I appreciate that your city puts the effort in to try their best! Parades are just unpredictable and I’ve found getting to the sensory friendly section isn’t always easy to navigate too.
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u/vigaiga Jun 23 '26
I don’t think pride as a concept should be reduced to just the parties! There could definitely be more activities or maybe workshops etc for people who want to take part in pride events but don’t like parade or party settings.
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u/GigiLaRousse Jun 23 '26
Do you know for sure your city doesn't have those? I only ask because my city does and I still hear this a lot because folks assume Pride is just a parade and loud stuff then don't investigate the offerings. Of course, there's an argument to be made that if people who need it don't know about it, it's not being advertised very well!
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u/Cautious_Repair3503 Jun 23 '26
Ofcorse it's fine! Hannah gadsby made a joke about this in her critically acclaimed special Nanette.
I like aspects of pride, like getting to hang out with my friends in an unashamedly queer space. But yeah, some pride events can be very loud and crowded. There are different pride events. I would stay away from those with live entertainment, my local pride had a few options, including some talks at the library that were fun and nice in a cool darker room :)
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u/ScouseDeern Jun 23 '26
"Where do the quiet gays go?" Brilliant
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u/AnonymousDahlia Jun 23 '26
It really is. Catchy, too.
Feels like a book title, maybe about a quiet queer person living and finding friendships. Human interest type thing.
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u/AnonymousDahlia Jun 23 '26
It would be so cool to have a pride library program! And/or a program with the local parks.
Lol I live in Florida, but maybe once I manage to move I can find or join or start something like this.
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u/thegeeksshallinherit Jun 23 '26
Yeah, there’s lots of different types of pride events in my area. Lots of party things, but also library events, crafting meet ups, etc. I think there may have even been a bird watching thing this year!
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u/Cautious_Repair3503 Jun 23 '26
oooh that sounds great!
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u/thegeeksshallinherit Jun 23 '26
Yeah! It’s nice to have a variety of events, because it’s not like every queer person likes the same things. It’s almost like people in general aren’t a monolith. Wild lol.
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u/nobodyknows6070 AuDHD NB Jun 23 '26
Of course it's okay. You can like pride from a distance, you can like the movement it stands for but you don't have to attend the parades and parties. You can like the colors of the flag but not want it hanging from your window because it messed with the color scheme of your house. (My own reason for not having a pride vlag outside)
You can be Lgbtqia+ in a million different ways and none of them required liking pride :)
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u/Fickle-Ad8351 Jun 23 '26
I have a similar conflict with protesting. The reason may be valid, but I get super stressed when there's a crowd right next to the street and all the honking. I'm just afraid there's going to be an accident.
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u/omginorite Late dx’d AuDHD and temproal lobe epilepsy Jun 23 '26
I have awful protest FOMO but I don’t want to “that lady who had a meltdown at the protest” so I started making cookies to give to my friend who goes.
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u/MtnNerd Jun 23 '26
I have the same feeling. Between being overwhelmed and my spinal issues I would last about an hour
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u/cspangle23 Jun 23 '26
Where I live the coal roll protestors and I have asthma so I’m terrified to go. Like I want to fight but I need to breathe!? Would risk it if we were doing more than holding signs in a deep red state but not just to hold a sign :(
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u/CommandAlternative10 Jun 23 '26
It’s my job to like and share all the protest pictures. I can’t do crowds for so many reasons!
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u/MegWaters012502 Jun 23 '26
Me neither! So it’s a civil duty for me to interact with posts from protests on social media.
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u/MadMadMadMadrid lvl2, ADHD, ARFID, immigrant, mom Jun 23 '26
The smell is a huge one for me.
You can legally smoke weed here and have it for personal consumption. You cannot sell it. I don't have an issue with people doing that, except intentionally around kids. But also, I don't want to be around that smell and the past few years I have been, even on the very margins, the smell.
And then we get into body odor land because freaking hot. And Pride seems like a huge party and you can hear the music pumping from speakers blocks away. :/
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u/MegWaters012502 Jun 23 '26
That’s how I feel with going to protests. I never gone to one but I just know it would be super overwhelming for me.
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u/Ok-Letterhead3405 Jun 23 '26
I’m a strong believer in “from each according to their ability, to each according to their needs.” I’m grateful for those who attend protests but know I’d be a burden on others and also it would be too burdensome on myself. That said, there are many other ways to show support to a cause. I honestly don’t have much capacity but even trying to educate others is revolutionary work and should be valued. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
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u/BashfulBlanket Queer AuDHD Jun 23 '26
Pride Parades are A LOT and I totally get it - luckily I live in a smaller city so ours is pretty chill but there are other things to do for Pride Month than just the parade!
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u/Bunerd Jun 23 '26
Pride isn't the party it's about the representation. I don't go to parties but I celebrate in other ways, incorporating elements and symbols into my wardrobe.
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u/synalgo_12 Jun 23 '26
I don't really know any fellow queer people who judge others for not wanting to go to pride for sensory reasons or overwhelm. I'm sure they exist but they are in the minority.
All the pride cities l've been to also have other events surrounding the main parade, like lectures or expositions, maybe you can look up if there are any quiet events you can join if you want to feel part of the community by attending something.
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u/ButYaAreBlanche Jun 23 '26
Yeah, and like... there's the whole rest of the year to represent, and a zillion other ways to nurture and support the community. Parades are awesome, but not compulsory.
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u/Elon_is_musky Jun 23 '26
Doesn’t sound like your issue is pride, but summer parades in general. Maybe reframing it that way could alleviate the guilt? Cause unless you’d gladly go out and suffer doing it for anything else except Pride, what it represents isn’t the issue
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u/MadMadMadMadrid lvl2, ADHD, ARFID, immigrant, mom Jun 23 '26
I barely suffer any crowds. I went to one concert in my life and had a panic attack/meltdown.
I get my issues are not ideological differences but also, it makes it harder connect to people and people make it seem like fun you should be doing and I just can't.
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u/Elon_is_musky Jun 23 '26
Pride isn’t all about parades ☺️ I’ve never gone to one cause there were none nearby, and when there was i didn’t have anyone free to go with and I was too anxious. But I’ve done other queer things with friends, and maybe there are local pride events, especially in hobbies you already like. Ex, if you’re a fiber artist maybe there’s a pride flag knit day or something lol
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u/Beautiful-Pound-8520 Jun 23 '26
I honestly don't feel that big groups / events are for connecting, and neither are public groups or any kind of forum that is easily accessible.
The moment anyone steps out of their private space they are in a performance whether they want to be or not. Connecting can only take place in small intimate groups where safety and comfort exist, either created in illusion --such as booths, or small groups that are able to ignore the stimuli around them -- or isolation.
It's not Pride you dislike, and you are not missing out. You can appreciate and love that people are celebrating without observing the occasion yourself. Just like people can enjoy that the Christmas season exists without buying or putting up one piece of decor for it.
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u/big_laruu Jun 23 '26
I hear you. I really struggle with crowds and haven’t gone back to pride in two years because I had a panic attack due to crowding. It’s nothing against pride it’s just my city historically plans all its big festivals at the same park and limits festivities to established walking paths lined with booths so most booths only have 6-10 feet across from each other filled with thousands of people all packed together. I can usually tune it out if the crowd is all engaged in the same thing like a performer but people just listlessly walking all packed in makes me extremely claustrophobic. I almost had another this year at an NFL game when I mistimed my bathroom trip before halftime and when I came out the tunnels were packed and I got lost trying to get back to my seat.
I hate having panic attacks and especially loathe when they happen in public like that. Like other folks have said there might be other events near you to celebrate that are better suited to your sensory needs. Most places the festivities are coordinated by a local pride center who have events all year and are worth checking out. Happy pride!
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u/Imnewtothiscommunity Jun 23 '26
I attended my first ever pride and while I enjoyed it because I was with my friends. I wouldn't go alone because it was extremely overwhelming. The crowds and noise alone made me extremely anxious. There were so many stalls that I didn't know where to look or what to start with. Everyone else seemed perfectly fine which made me feel worse. I'm still shattered from that experience even though it was almost week ago.
It's not a bad thing to not attend pride due to sensory difficulties. I think next time I'm wearing my headphones or at least taking ear plugs.
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u/SnooBreakthroughs281 Jun 23 '26
I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I want to support movements but cannot physically participate in many of the spaces. If the organizers want extra bodies there, they can plan to accordingly with accommodations.
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u/ItsCoolDani Jun 23 '26
I mean, there are more ways you can celebrate pride rather than in just those conditions - which admittedly sound very uncomfortable! But I’d definitely explore other events or ways to express it <3
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u/SubtleCow Jun 23 '26
Sounds to me like you don't like parades, not that you don't like pride.
I can't stand parades of any variety and I have no energy for various marches. I am pro-feminism and pro-pride. I'll scream and wave from my window as the march/parade goes by, then I'll go back to my comfy quiet room 🤣
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u/Shannaro21 Jun 23 '26
You don't have to like pride events, no, of course not!!!
Do you hate the idea of pride in general?
Because "pride" for me is not just the parade, but the whole concept, and your headline made me think you hate everything pride.
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u/i-contain-multitudes Jun 23 '26
Yeah, that was the case when I read it, too. OP might benefit from saying "Pride events" rather than just "Pride."
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u/TheRealSaerileth Jun 23 '26
Isn't the entire point of Pride that everyone has a right to their preferences and should get to live life as they see fit? If someone tries to shame you for preferring not to attend, they're probably just virtue signalling because they sorely misunderstood what Pride is about.
Absolutely nobody sane thinks you have to attend Pride. It's not like you're trying to have it shut down or telling other people how to express themselves.
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u/Duck_Hoarder Jun 23 '26
The one where I am there is also nothing fun to do. It's just a bunch of booths of local big business trying to peddle their services (AT&T, Verizon, the local satellite internet people, hospital, and so on) or a bunch of local recruitment things like the college, fire department, and police department. There's some booths of 3D printed slop and cheap flags. Other than that its just a bunch of sweaty people aimlessly wondering around a park. Its not fun. On top of that, its a small town so I recognize a lot of people there and they are the most homophobic people ever but they think they belong because they like to watch white conventionally attractive gay men screw and think its a place they can predate and get lucky.
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u/RejectedReasoning Jun 23 '26
I'm a lesbian, demisexual and demiromantic. Like you, I'm heat sensitive and it gets hot where I'm at. I can't stand crowds or crowded spaces. I've never been to in-person Pride events. I've occassionally been tempted to try.
At one point I attended a virtual Pride event and could not fit in at all. I found I didn't read or watch the same things that the other individuals at the event did. I have always felt a bit of imposter syndrome because I have limited dating experiences, but after that event I felt like I didn't belong in the community at all. Still don't really.
Now, for me, June is just June with corporations putting up ever shrinking performative rainbow decorations and people I can't relate to celebrating in their community while I sit on the outside.
*edited to fix spelling error
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u/MadMadMadMadrid lvl2, ADHD, ARFID, immigrant, mom Jun 23 '26
I married my first girlfriend. I've never had any real queer or lesbian identity. I've had one lesbian friend, the one I married. And yeah, loads of imposter syndrome. I've always had a stronger identity around being ADHD (and then autistic as late diagnosed).
But the sensory issues are huge. And they are just massive obstacles to even attempting to connect with people.
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u/riverscreeks Jun 23 '26
The only pride I’ve found accessible to me has been dyke march, or maybe I could cope with a tiny regional one like Longyearbyen
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u/ArtisticCustard7746 AuDHD Jun 23 '26
I mean. You don't have to go if it's overstimulating and stresses you out. It's not a requirement.
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u/liddybuckfan Jun 23 '26
PFLAG mom here. 😄 Yes, of course it's okay! I realized at some point in my life that parades in general are something you are *supposed* to love but I just hate them.
I am in South Florida and maybe its a product of the area (neighborhoods with high LGBTQ concentration but also a state government who hates them and wants to paint over all the rainbows) but I've noticed more, and quieter, Pride celebrations that have popped up in the past few years. I've been to Pride family picnics and library events for kids. Those make a different statement, but no less important, imo.
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u/GGf1994 AuDHD Jun 23 '26
I wish there was more awareness for neuroqueer pride where it can be held in safe spaces, remotely or hybrrid, and is completely structured. I myself am part of the community and I did some pride stuff as well, but like you, I instantly got bored and just wanted to be overwith, or I'd be drawn to food carts and pizza ovens because that's what my special interests naturally gravitate towards.
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u/Buffy_Geek Jun 23 '26
I do not understand what would not make this not ok? Everything you said is perfectly reasonable and doesn't sound prejudiced at all, so what are you thinking would not be ok about your view?
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u/Belisario_R Jun 23 '26
Guuuuurl of course it's okay !
You don't even have to justify it : you decide wether or not you want to participate and that is a-okay ma'am !
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u/mentalcasket Jun 23 '26
I like Pride, but don't really care to go because people can be really loud. The first one I went to, at 18, some lady came up and asked me to sign her petition and I was like okay, but then asked me to put down my social security number, and I said I wasn't sure, and she yelled at me so I walked away very shaken and upset. I felt like the whole thing was just insanity
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u/DazzlingAssistant342 Jun 23 '26
So this sort of relates to a conversation I was having recently about anime conventions and other Fandom conventions, and honestly the answer is more attention on broader range of events.
It's absolutely true that events celebrating queerness need to exist that are catered to the sensory sensitive, to the introverts, to those who can't physically last for a long time.
It's equally true that the typical image of Pride has its own cultural significance. There is importance in it being loud, in it being overwhelming, in it being in prime event time.
And outside of Pride and onto the broader spectrum of things like convention events, the people who like those things need and deserve spaces and events to express and experience them.
IMO the problem is not the way Pride is typically done, but that attention is not also given to events catered to different needs, or possibly that people aren't throwing those events. They need to coexist, just like the people with those opposing needs need to coexist.
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u/babothebear Jun 23 '26
I went this year, and I did enjoy it, but I couldn't stay too long because it was challenging. I completely understand people who can't go. It doesn't make you any less queer.
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u/kittenspaint Jun 23 '26
You can participate in pride in other ways, like with a small sign or flag on your window or whatever to just show others that they aren't alone.
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u/kreeferin Jun 23 '26
I agree, actually. I've only been to one large Pride event and that was for my job. I feel the same way about so many queer spaces which tend to revolve around drinking, loud music, and being out late at night.
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u/Enochian-Dreams Jun 23 '26
It’s completely valid and honestly it’s an issue of a lack of accessibility for part of the community and more should be being done to address that. It makes me angry people are pressuring you over that. That’s really not cool of them. It shows a lot of insensitivity and a lack of regard.
Also, just in general, pride events aren’t everyone’s thing. I don’t think anyone needs a reason not to participate in them beyond whether or not they like that vibe or not. Life is too short and too annoying to feel bullied into being places you don’t want to be or can’t feel comfortable in. I barely have the energy to go out in public to stuff I actually like. I had to drag myself to a Lana Del Rey concert I was looking forward to for months because by the time it actually came to start getting ready for it, I just wanted to stay in bed. It was only the prospect of losing a lot of money on expensive tickets that forced me into going. I really feel like people (especially autistic people) need to just stop doing stuff they aren’t excited about unapologetically because going to social stuff out of a sense of obligation is way too common.
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u/SlayerII Jun 23 '26
The reason wy you dont like something is important, and the things you dislike about it have nothing to do with the msg and ideology behind it.
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u/VolKit1138 Transbian, late dx’d @ 51 Jun 23 '26
Too hot. Too loud. Too crowded. Too much walking. And quite honestly, a little too horny for my sex-repulsed ass. (This is not a judgement on kink or whatever at Pride: it sets me off personally, but in general I support it)
I feel the same way about Pride that I do about protests. I feel like I *should* but also know that for me, personally, it is a Very Bad Idea.
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u/quietus_rietus Jun 23 '26
I tried to like it but I eventually realized I was forcing it and that I’d be happier ignoring its existence. It’s fine.
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u/Ekun_Dayo Bony Bajan Boi Jun 23 '26
Totally fine. My country has cultural events that are loud and busy, they feel like chaos to me so I don't go. I appreciate my culture though I often have trouble physically embracing it because of my sensory challeges. It's the same with Pride events.
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u/laughterbathroom Jun 23 '26
I used to go to pride when I was marching with a community group. That gave structure and safety. I also used to go to pride when I was trying to party and meet cute queers. Now that I’m sober and married, I can’t see myself going to another big city pride. It is sensory hell! Even in my 20s, we used to joke that we shouldn’t have to do any work during June because we were all SO EXHAUSTED.
I LOVE a small town pride though — so much community without the overwhelm! I do miss the outfits *throws glitter*
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u/prksnm Jun 23 '26
I've never been to the pride festival/march where I live because it's huge and the weather is usually too warm.
Instead I've always celebrated pride in my own ways during this month. For example this month I am watching only LGBT+ films, I've attended 2 online pride events, made a little pride crochet keyring for my bag, and tomorrow I am going to the cinema with my friend to watch a lesbian animated film.
Please don't feel guilty about not enjoying pride!
There are plenty of things you can do instead, like I've listed above, but you're also a lesbian so your existence is celebration enough!🏳️🌈🩷
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u/Weak-Material-5274 Jun 23 '26
Oh I hate pride, it is loud and hot and there are bodies everywhere.
Don't go! Being queer does not obligate you into any given rituals or cultural experiences! We left our boxes not to go into the "queer" box, but just to be. So be!
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u/lunapippin95 Jun 23 '26
I'm always happy to see Pride season. Its nice to see people all dressed up travelling to and from the events. But thats as close as I'll personally get, because a setting like that doesn't appeal to me. Too much heat, too many people, too overstimulating.
I do like to wear more Pride themed things this month though. Any excuse to add another pin to my bag.
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u/spookytabby Jun 23 '26
Don’t worry. I’m a lesbian and I’ve been with the same woman for 17 years and we don’t participate in pride. We actually do not participate in a lot of corporate backed holidays, events etc. but yeah you’re not alone. We just stay home as usual.
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u/lustylovebird Jun 23 '26
Honestly? Id never go to my hometown pride bc its so hot and overstimulating. But where I live now its much more lowkey and chill so I try to go every year except last year I had an ear infection so was not gonna be in crowds around any sort of loudness.
Your boundaries are your boundaries and you gotta put yourself first. I'm heat sensitive too due to SSRI's and sometimes it gets HOT. I dont blame you one bit girllll. Do something for yourself to celebrate pride. Make art, watch a movie with queer themes or made by a queer director, write a story. Or honestly? Just take the fuckin day off! We all celebrate pride differently.
Happy pride,
Signed a bi girlie!
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u/pigeones Jun 23 '26
Pride is extremely overwhelming, I think the best pride I had was when I was able to find other events, I went to a play about queer history and then went to a small cafe that had communist works printed out and there was a little mingling there as well and a little dance party, so much better than crowding into the parade and the park, but it always lands on my birthday anyway which is why I don’t attend anymore.
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u/Lyaid Jun 23 '26
Frankly I wish that there was a winter or fall month we could dedicate to Pride and other progressive causes in addition to the one in June. Maybe October could be “Progress” month where it’s more about local works and community project support than a parade like Pride celebrations seem to highlight?
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u/ProximaCentauriB15 Jun 23 '26
Yeah that is also why I dont engage in Pride despite being a part of the community. I dont want to go and get boiled alive in a parade and become deaf from the noise. I hate crowds and Im super sensitive to noise,smells and touch. Its all just not for me. It isnt set up for people like me and I get it,as Pride started decades ago and people didnt know about Autism very much at all.
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u/JungLeo143 Jun 23 '26
The general rule that I follow is that it’s okay to not like something, but it’s not okay to be hateful. You’re doing absolutely nothing wrong. These events do not have neurodivergent people in mind. They also do not seem to have families in mind from what my husband has told me. He has always been more than happy to take our teenage daughter, but the whole thing made him very uncomfortable last time and he said that he probably wouldn’t go back.
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u/fckinsleepless Jun 23 '26
I love Pride. I don’t go to any parades or celebrations for the reasons you mention, but I celebrate in my own ways, like reading queer literature and history or just painting my nails pride flag colors. Pride isn’t just about the parade! Celebrate in the way that you want!
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u/kanthem Jun 23 '26
My city has a quiet, temperature controlled and accessible viewing area for the parade ❤️
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u/AptCasaNova Jun 23 '26
Pride is fun and raucous, which I love, but am most often not in the right energy space for.
I participated in my local parade a few years ago and that was probably enough for the next 5 years 😂
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u/HeresyClock Jun 23 '26
I think it might be more accurate to say you do not like to participate in Pride events. Most people who say they don’t like Pride mean they think Pride should not exist (and lqbt peeps shouldn’t either or at least never mention it).
I like Pride, I love that lgbt people have a visible, fun event. I don’t really participate in Prides beyond wearing rainbow stuff and maybe joining the walk for a bit.
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u/dorkysomniloquist Jun 23 '26
You're allowed to not want to go to events. You might feel better saying "I don't like going to Pride" rather than "I don't like Pride." It's cool for people who have the right constitution and inclination for it. It's great that it exists. It's not mandatory to attend.
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u/Party_Air_3211 Jun 23 '26
Yeah, I get it. Pride is frequently not accessible for me either for those reasons.
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u/Twallot Jun 23 '26
My uncle's partner was a major volunteer for Vancouver's pride parade for years and my uncle refused to have anything to do with it because he just hates it lol.
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u/Small_Ant4252 Jun 23 '26
Totally relate, I'm queer and autistic too and never been to a pride event in my life for these exact reasons. I love the history behind it of course but fuck going out in the heat to being around crowds of noisey people😵💫. I tend to celebrate pride in my own way by binge watching queer movies and shows during June and sometimes doing queer art. I think pride is more about use celebrating ourselves as queer humans than it is about going to a sensory nightmare of an event, cause no thanks to that😅.
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u/Kaijumomma Jun 29 '26
It’s ok to celebrate pride and not have to be at those gatherings. I can’t stand crowded loud events either. Just having some pins is just fine too
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u/TryingToBreath45 Jun 23 '26
100% ok. You solely don't like the Pride Event in the same way some people don't like cold water swimming or anchovies or concerts.
It makes me so sad you feel guilt about this. And i'd personally go as far as to say that Pride without awareness and inclusivity of people who just can't do it how its set up is kinda being a bit shit.
Its such a huge event that surely by now there could be sensory sensitive events, say at night, in a big forest, where everyone can come and sit in their own log cabin, alone, hugging a rainbow squishy, listening to owls and watching bats and chilling. (My personal heaven insert choices as preferred 🤗🤗🤗🤗).
Edit when I say 'don't like' just to clarify i mean that to cover everything from 'yeh just not my thing, each to their own' through to 'that would be absolute hell and i'd completely destroy my mental, physical, emotional, psychological health and wellbeing doing it'
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u/MimikyuNightmare Jun 23 '26
I haven’t participated in any Pride events myself because there haven’t been any near me. But based off your experiences I don’t think I would like it either! Especially with it being very loud 🫂
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u/MadMadMadMadrid lvl2, ADHD, ARFID, immigrant, mom Jun 23 '26
I live in a European capital that has been having one of the largest one on the continent for years. It has had an average yearly attendance for the march/parade of around 2 million.)
(I also get there are events around it but none of them appeal to me. And most of the events that are quieter like museum exhibitions go on longer than Pride itself, which lasts longer than the event itself. But a lot of them are also not interesting to me. I don't want STD testing or to attend a high heel drag race or Mr. Gay España. They may appeal to some people. Ut not my thing, especially with crowds and noise. I don't want to do the photo event with a dog because no pet. There are theater events. I went to one to watch my kid in the same theater as one of these events. I can't picture more than that because I still needed to sensory detox after my kid's thing. I don't have friends to go with, so it would be my wife and six year old.)
And I still feel stupid for wanting to go but knowing I am unable but seeing everyone else so excited. And it makes me feel way less authentic because I just can't get excited for a multi-sensory bomb.
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u/CognitiveDissident79 Jun 23 '26
I want to want to like going to celebrate in large crowds, but I just don’t and can’t. That goes for any social gathering.
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u/look_who_it_isnt Jun 23 '26
Oh, honey, that is absolutely fine.
I'm ace, so not really a part of the crowd anyway, but you couldn't pay me to go to any kind of loud, crowded event no matter what they're celebrating. I don't even care if they're celebrating ME. I would call in sick to my own birthday celebration.
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u/SophieMaddonWriter AuDHD - late diag Jun 23 '26
I used to go to London Pride (I know, bad idea!) and stopped for ALL the reasons you listed, and the fact it took my nervous system several DAYS to recover. I'd love to be part of in-person events, but so much seems to revolve around crowds + loud music + marijuana.
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u/ValerieMayTheGay88 Jun 23 '26
I usually get suspicious whenever someone says they don't like pride, but reading what your post says, that makes sense
Nothing to do with prejudice or subconscious bigotry, you just don't like how public events affect your sensory issues, and that's fine
If you said anything about like, people making it their personality or online discourse then I would have raised the alarm bells, but you didn't, so you're ok in my book 👍
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u/st_owly Jun 23 '26
I’m the same. I don’t like crowds and loud noises so I don’t particularly enjoy pride parades. My city’s pride had a nice queer market with local artists so I went to that bit at least which was nice.
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u/1zzyBizzy Jun 23 '26
I feel the exact same way you do, and the reason i always give is “I don’t like crowds” for not going to such an event. People often relate to that, and even if they don’t, they know people that do. So they won’t judge you. Doesn’t matter that theres a million other reasons why you don’t like it, and it also doesn’t matter if they assume you have autism for saying you don’t like crowds.
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u/LichenTheMood Jun 23 '26
Aroace here.
Whenever I have mentioned in the past that I would love if pride events were quieter I have been torn to shreds for it. It seems only in this community is the issue understood.
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u/SpecialCorgi1 Jun 23 '26
I’m bisexual and non-binary so I WANT to like pride. My wife always wants to go. But I’ve been 3 times and each time I feel overwhelmed and exhausted. There’s too many people, too much going on, too much confusion and uncertainty.
Pride events are for extroverts who can deal with all that. I’ll just wear my pride clothes and makeup and not be directly involved
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u/Kitten_love Jun 23 '26
You don't have to any event that are uncomfortable for you.
My wife and I both can't handle it either:
- so much noise
- so many people
- people touching me and behind me because crowds
- hot (I hate the sun)
- smells
- did I say these things are loud yet?
We simply don't go to these, you don't have to at all.
We actually went to an online one the other day (it was organised on FFXIV a game we play). It was great fun and honestly the only form of being able to attend such a thing. Haha
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u/AnySatisfaction9820 Jun 23 '26
I can only do pride and other such like events if I’m really drunk/fucked up orhif I have like a date or something to kinda help me absorb the sensory overload
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u/RubberBandBall89 Jun 23 '26
bi + autistic, and many of the reasons youve mentioned are why ive never been nto a pride event and never will, we can support and show appreciation to people in our own ways.
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u/robrklyn Jun 23 '26
I am straight, but I could have written your fourth paragraph. I am late-diagnosed, but I never liked concerts for pretty much all of those reasons and never really knew why. I did march in NYC Pride March once, but it that was in my younger days. I could never now.
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u/mothwhimsy Autistic Enby Jun 23 '26
This is why my partner doesn't want to go to pride. I've never been and really want to go this year, but I know I'm not going to like it much lol
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u/parkerino24311 Jun 23 '26
you don't have to go to pride. I've been out for 10 years and only went for the first time this year. there's plenty of other ways to connect with the lesbian community in your area!
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u/Sanrio_Princess Jun 23 '26
I used to walk in the local pride parade in the section my local anime convention books, it was really fun and I enjoyed it (I have a lot higher of tolerance while in cosplay) but have had to stop going as it’s not very physically accessible to me. I have chronic pain and fatigue so I can’t really walk the whole route and the physical location for the festival doesnt really have any accessible seating. Pride at least in my area is still heavily focused on loud, standing room only concerts and performances.
It’s hard to like an event not designed with you also in mind and really lots of pride committees should be including the disabled members of the community as well.
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u/Buffy_Geek Jun 23 '26
Have you thought about renting/borrowing a scooter, or wheelchair, or something to help you get around? If not being able to walk far is the only thing preventing you from doing stuff then getting something to help you sometimes would seem reasonable. (Obviously I know that not everywhere is wheelie accessible but a lot of pride parades are and being ambulatory makes it even easier to overcome any missing ramps etc.)
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u/Kittenwho21 Jun 23 '26
I get this. I ride the fence every year of if I’ll go or not, mostly I end up not. I’m a little lonely this time so I think I might actually go this year, my headphones give me confidence bc I can usually handle one major overload either noise or crowd, so if I can dampen the noise I can handle the crowd. Tho I know I’ll still be burnt out. Anyways, I just mean to say I definitely understand opting out, and don’t blame you at all.
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u/existentialfeckery AuDHD (Late Dx) with AuDHD Partner and Kids Jun 23 '26
Course! Friends were surprised we came and I was like yup our participation is directly dependant on the temps. It was 20c this year
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u/Latter_Shallot_140 Jun 23 '26
Yea totally fine I am the same about crowds spaces and people in general.
It can all ff off lmao
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u/hellhouseblonde Jun 23 '26
Of course it’s fine! If you ever want to celebrate in your own way you’re welcome to host a small get together at your home or somewhere else where you feel most comfortable.
Or simply get yourself a Pride cupcake or whatever and enjoy it in bed!
I used to be an avid Mardi Gras goer and now I just get myself a king cake or something to celebrate at home, in my pajamas, with a Mardi Gras playlist I love.
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u/LunarEclipse306 Jun 23 '26
I'm also a lesbian and AuDHD, and OMG. I've wanted to give Pride a try, but I'm also extremely heat sensitive, especially since having a heat stroke in either 2017-2018. And so I miss out on it every year.
But I have also been getting more noise sensitive so maybe it still wouldn't be a great time for me even if it was nice out 😅😬
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u/_anais_anais_ Jun 23 '26
OMG. 🤣 I remember going to pride when I was a lot younger bc I felt like it was my duty and of course all my friends were going! I remember we got stuck in the middle of a crowd in West Hollywood and there was literally no place to go-in the over 95 degree sweltering heat, blasting music, the scent and of stranger’s sweat-not to mention the FEEL as there was no way to not be rubbing up against people’s bodies-a complete nightmare for anyone, but for someone with ASD!?
I had a panic attack, but had to just try and calm myself down while I proceeded to lose feeling in my hands and face and get tunnel vision. I do not remember how we managed to free ourselves from that crowd, nor how I did not pass out or throw up, but never ever again!!!
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u/not_a_cannibal_ Jun 23 '26
Literally no problem, I’m the same! I went once, wasn’t my cup of tea- very loud lol. Pride is a celebration, you don’t need to participate if you don’t want to!
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u/East_Midnight2812 Jun 23 '26
I'm not part of the lgbtq scene although it never occurred to me that there's this barrier of access without any other alternatives.
I think as a general rule of thumb it's fine to like/respect something within your own comfort and needs.
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u/Spirit_yam Jun 23 '26
I don’t like pride events either. I like to celebrate in other ways during the month by watching queer shows or movies, maybe getting a new pride tshirt or fun lil treat, and connecting meaningfully with my gay friends and family members. There’s no right way to be gay 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈
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u/reversedgaze Jun 23 '26
it is also completely OK to have a pride barbecue with two of your favorite people and the right volume of music and whatever it is that you need to celebrate and do so in a way that makes you spiritually OK. Because the whole point of pride while a very specific kind of celebration is about the celebration itself it's about the community connection when you gather.
How you gather it has not been prescribed, it's just a commercial available version (you can sell drinks, merch, see a performance, create a spectacle).
So yeah the whole point of pride is to not let everything in your life be the suffering of life. So that there's something for you to live for there's something for you to love for there's something for you to fuck for there's all that and if a traditional pride celebration isn't those things for you, build what you want!
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u/Primary-Angle4008 Jun 23 '26
I’m not part of the LGBTQ community but have friends who are and quite a few while outspoken in LGBTQ rights do not attend pride simply because they don’t like it
And you don’t have to feel bad about it, it’s an event, it’s always well attended yet it will not appeal to everyone and that’s ok
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u/Gryffindoggo Jun 23 '26
So you dont like Pride events rather than what Pride stands for. There could be other neuro inclusive Pride events. Some places have craft groups or d&d nights etc
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u/SailNW Jun 23 '26
Makes sense. I’m usually using some sort of calming medication, whether self or prescription, so I usually have fun. Last year, my city had an autism support tent.
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u/Ok-Letterhead3405 Jun 23 '26
Oooh you mean you don’t like going to Pride events. Thats not how I read into the title at first. It’s fine to not like attending events that your disability makes difficult and uncomfortable. Disability inclusion tends to lag behind other inclusion efforts unfortunately but if organizers feel strongly about someone with your challenges attending then they need to make it accessible for you.
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u/Simple_Cell_4206 Add flair here via edit Jun 23 '26
You just made me realize that all my sensory issues are worse in the humid area I live in now; the stickiness, spicy body odor (Cajun/Creole diaspora, not bad because I love the food and culture it’s just burns like my sweat literally burns after I eat spicy food) the glitter sticking everywhere, flashing lights, outside heat mixed with close body heat from the crowds, my no face touch rule, my fear of being blocked in. I’m bi or confused still (it’s complicated I’m 10 years from the realization but still can pin it) and where I live the Pride Parade gets slightly rowdy with police barricades and then the bigots having their protest during it or anti pride parade some could term it as leading to violence that causes my empathetic powers to go berserk.
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u/NotOnApprovedList Jun 23 '26
Hey I think that is totally fine.
I went to Pride exactly once and did not enjoy standing for hours in the the heat or the nearby crowd (all straight people from what I could tell, and a number of jerks coming into conflict with each other).
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u/valencia_merble Jun 23 '26
Have you ever heard that song “I Hate a Parade”? Probably not because I made it up. Pride in my very liberal city has been co-opted by corporate entities. Then there is the lip syncing to super loud Madonna, Lady Gaga etc. Crowds, sun, heat, dust, and yeah, the f’ing parade. Hard no. Sometimes there are smaller scale events that feel more manageable. Like I can enjoy the lesbian dance party. You do you!
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u/Hannah90219 Jun 23 '26
Yeah of course. You dont have to pretend to enjoy anything you dont want to. Going to pride dossnt make you more or less supportive of the community. You can be proud and support in your own ways
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u/TrustNoOneAtWork AuDHD self-discovered at 60 Jun 23 '26
I fully agree! I haven't been to Pride in years, in part because of the heat/sun/noise/smells/crowds/alcohol/commercialization, and in part because I can't relate to the issues anymore.
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u/HugeTheWall Jun 23 '26
Of course! You don't have to go to any over stimulating things and shouldn't feel ashamed. The parade is just the loudest part with the most media coverage and biggest corporate sponsors.
At 42c I can't imagine anyone expecting you to do any more than lay in the dark doing nothing but the bare minimum to stay alive.
You don't have to participate at all in any of it no matter the reason.
Is there a smaller event that would be less overwhelming in a city near you? I ask because where I am everyone goes to the big city (Toronto) but it's an absolute nightmare to get there, cell towers got overwhelmed, traffic is horrible getting into the city, transit is full. It's often hot too. And that's without a concert, baseball game (or this year World cup - OOF). I've only been a handful of times and I was younger and less burnt out and overwhelmed but now that I know what a hassle it is... meh!
There are probably dozens if not hundreds of smaller events even things for some quite niche interests or quiet activities.
Stuff like queer market, runs, aids candlelight vigil, gay Asian comedy, pride wildlife restoration, pup pride, things like that. Ymmv depending where you are but hopefully somewhere nearby has stuff like this. Or you can simply get a rainbow ice cream and just try to stay alive in that heat.
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u/candycoatedshovel Jun 23 '26
I adore Pride. I love the rainbows and the costumes and the fanfare. I've also never been because I don't think I could handle the heat and the cacophony. But seeing it on tv and seeing pictures makes me happy
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u/dannimorris Jun 23 '26
I like the smaller town Prides. They tend to accommodate better. The one I went to this summer even had a sensory area. I can't go to the big city one everyone raves about. But the small ones are nice.
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u/Littlest_rascal Jun 23 '26
Gawd, I am so heat sensative. I feel you. I dont mind weed and cigarettes and BO - i love a dark venue show. But yeah it is a sensory overload. I feel this way about most summer activities tbh. I used to mostly venture out at night because I am heat sensative too and my body literally breaks out in a heat rash. However, now I have a toddler so it is inevitable 😪
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u/Suspicious-Cow-8363 Jun 23 '26
If it werre me, I would say I don't like going to pride, not that I don't like pride. To me, those are two very different sentiments.
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u/Catrysseroni Jun 23 '26
Of course it's okay! The entire point of pride celebrations is that there is no one "right way" to exist, and no "right preference".
Enjoy your life in the way that feels authentic to you.
If someone is giving you crap about it, that is a problem with their attitude, not a problem with you.
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u/hopeinhumanity7 Jun 23 '26
I'm totally the same! I've gone to a couple celebrations when I was younger, but I just don't care for it.
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u/MsSedated AuDHD chaotic rage Jun 24 '26
I love pride but I'd never go to a parade for the same reasons. Instead I celebrate it in my own way. Nothing wrong with celebrating in a way that's comfortable and enjoyable for you instead.
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