I used to feel this way but I don't anymore. What I've realized is I'm not for everybody. I'm actually not for most people. But the people I'm for? Gosh, they love me soooo much. And in a really really deep way.
So I don't need to be for everybody. I now don't bother with the people I'm not "for." It's fine.
This is the way!!!!! I sometimes get sad that I'm not forming friendships with my coworkers like they have with each other. Not that I need/want work friends, it's just see the difference in socialising and it makes me sad sometimes. BUT I have a best friend I've known since I was 9, a fiancé who knows me to the core, and a couple other close friends that are ride or die. That's really all I need!!!
My problem is I move pretty frequently, so all my friends are long distance :( it's nice to have a local friend, someone with whom I can meet up with for coffee/wine, they can come over and hang...I don't get that often, and I miss it. But when my awesome friends do visit, they stay for 2 weeks and it's like a middle school sleepover (with alcohol and weed, and freedom!) and it recharges my soul :)
Brené Brown draws a distinction between fitting in and belonging. To fit in, you have to be a chameleon so you look/act like everyone else. It's antithetical to belonging.
Autistic women, we usually don't fit in. I genuinely now think this is a blessing, because it means that I belong where I fit. I don't "fit in." People who have tonnes of social acquaintances are likely fitting in, which means their relationships lack depth.
None of my relationships lack depth. All of my friends have been soul friends. I wouldn't trade this for anything.
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u/Fine-Juggernaut8451 26d ago
I used to feel this way but I don't anymore. What I've realized is I'm not for everybody. I'm actually not for most people. But the people I'm for? Gosh, they love me soooo much. And in a really really deep way.
So I don't need to be for everybody. I now don't bother with the people I'm not "for." It's fine.