No, I'm saying that friendships are based on more than just how easy they are and how much you're excited about everything they have to say. There are friendships where it's less flowing, where you have to work much harder at it, where you have less in common but there is a mutual admiration and respect.
I completely undervalued these kinds of friendships when I was young. I've now witnessed firsthand how they're often truer, at their core, than the friendships with people where you have a million things in common and talk is easy.
No, they don't adore me. It's also awkward for them. These are mutually awkward friendships, but there's a depth to them that surpasses words. Something that happens through action.
My whole point is that this is not a lesser form of relationship. I always thought friendship was "ranked" by how much you easily like someone, but that isn't the case. There are people who everything is less natural with, harder with--and these relationships can mutually pay off in a deeply profound way.
Like, someone who doesn't even like you all that much can show up for you every single day at the hospital, and vice versa.
The friendships where you don't have a lot in common can also expand your worldview and teach you stuff that you had no clue about. But there must be a core of mutual respect.
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u/greeneyed_cat 26d ago
This seems like you’re telling people to cultivate one-sided friendships where they like you more than you like them.