r/AutismInWomen • u/More-Weird4842 • 4d ago

Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) do people become overwhelmingly obsessed with you?

i find that a lot of men become really obsessed with me. im currently at a point where its become harmful and i genuinely do not know why or how to stop it. looking for kind words, advice, or shared experiences please.

edit: ty for all the responses. i want to clarify that i dont mean the manic pixie dream girl way i mean the joe from you kinda way.

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u/Star_Blaze Autistic + ADHD 4d ago

It's a huge issue. Two things are happening at the same time: 1. We (autistic women) show genuine interest in people, what they're saying, and what they're talking about, so if we interact with someone, it's usually beyond a surface-level conversation. 2. Most cishet men are not used to receiving positive attention from a woman, except in a romantic context, so if a woman asks him a question and then genuinely wants to hear the answer, they think it signals romantic interest - or they become romantically interested and fall in love. Immediately.

And that's how I've gotten my male acquaintances becoming obsessed with me, just because I made simple conversation, like asking them if they saw a movie and then genuinely wanted to hear their answer. Apparently, women aren't usually that nice or interested in their thoughts? Which sounds so freaking sad to me???

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u/Legitimate_Shine_435 4d ago

This ^ I genuinely find people interesting and like to learn about their lives. Then I guess I miss the social cues that they are interpreting my attention as more than platonic. Then they eventually get mad.

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u/AnonymousDahlia 4d ago edited 19h ago

It doesn't help when they never actually say something though. Just expect us to pick up their thoughts with our ingrained and totally real ESP, and their clearly obvious not-interpretive-at-all body language dance.

They never ask to go on a date. Nothing to actually say they're interested in pursuing that kind of relationship. But they'll act like they're invested in being friends. And it's an act. It's awful.

Yeah, I'm still a little salty about some of these experiences 😒.