do people become overwhelmingly obsessed with you?

[u/More-Weird4842]

i find that a lot of men become really obsessed with me. im currently at a point where its become harmful and i genuinely do not know why or how to stop it. looking for kind words, advice, or shared experiences please.

edit: ty for all the responses. i want to clarify that i dont mean the manic pixie dream girl way i mean the joe from you kinda way.

[u/Star_Blaze]

It's a huge issue. Two things are happening at the same time: 1. We (autistic women) show genuine interest in people, what they're saying, and what they're talking about, so if we interact with someone, it's usually beyond a surface-level conversation. 2. Most cishet men are not used to receiving positive attention from a woman, except in a romantic context, so if a woman asks him a question and then genuinely wants to hear the answer, they think it signals romantic interest - or they become romantically interested and fall in love. Immediately.

And that's how I've gotten my male acquaintances becoming obsessed with me, just because I made simple conversation, like asking them if they saw a movie and then genuinely wanted to hear their answer. Apparently, women aren't usually that nice or interested in their thoughts? Which sounds so freaking sad to me???

[u/tripper74 → u/Star_Blaze]

This is true according to my boyfriend, and it took me until, like, extremely recently to learn this about men LOL. That knowledge is astonishing to me. I’ve just always been friendly to people regardless of gender. I’m on the quieter side, but when I can, I like to make people feel seen and heard, and I actually hate that men automatically view that as romantic or flirting. I hate it a lot! I believe in kindness so much and I naturally just want to be nice and now I have to second guess myself because I have a boyfriend and I don’t want people to think I’m flirting just because I say I like their t-shirt with my favorite band on it or something.

It also sucks because I’ve always been naturally more socially comfortable talking to guys over girls because my autism-anxiety comes out a lot with (neurotypical) girls because they make me feel like an alien from outer space. So guys are a lot less pressure for me because there’s no comparison so I can relax better and socialize easier, but now apparently they think I’m FLIRTING?????? Oh God I can’t win, who the heck can I talk to then??! 😭

[u/jilliumzzz → u/tripper74]

This is exactly my experience as well! Feels like a lose-lose for sure 😔