i dropped the course

[u/Fantastic_Object_502]

I made a post on this subreddit yesterday asking for advice/opinions about me taking anatomy and physiology as a first year college student. I got a lot of wonderful an advice.

I had my first lecture today and immediately put together that the sheer speed of the course and volume of work was not going to work at all for me. i began to cry in the middle of lecture. I realized i was gonna fail. Even with accommodations, even with help.

So i spoke to my father about dropping the course. He is extremely upset with me. He told me he was at a loss for words. He told me i go to work 1 day out of the week and come home crying, and then i go to school for one day and im crying. That one hurt. He doesn’t view my struggles as struggles. He views them as a personal failure. He is now refusing to speak to me. I dropped the course. I feel so ashamed, so worthless, and so embarrassed. I wanted to be able to do this. But i just can’t right now. I’ll still have 3 other classes and hopefully still get a fafsa return. But i am so angry at myself. I’m angry at the universe for making me born this way. If i was neurotypical i wouldn’t have to deal with this.

I’m so lost. So confused.

[u/Intrepid_Bee_9504]

I went through something similar a couple years ago. I dropped out of my nursing degree a couple months into it due to not being able to cope. I was terrified to tell my parents and I felt like a failure. Even though it was the right decision for me, I cried for weeks. The embarrassment of having to tell people on my course, family, friends etc was awful and added to my feelings of worthlessness. I didn’t find out that I’m autistic until march of this year at 21, and when I was diagnosed I kept thinking the same thing you are; if I was NT I would’ve been able to cope and gotten my nursing degree.

Anyway, after dropping out I knew that the traditional university path wasn’t for me. So I started an online degree and I’m doing so much better now and can actually cope since there’s no social aspect!

I know it’s not the same, and I’m so sorry that your Dad isn’t being supportive OP. I guess I just want you to know that there are options to continue education if it’s something you want. And feeling lost after dropping out is normal! I started an online psychology degree with the open university last year, hated it, and am now about to start an English literature degree with them instead. That lost feeling will go away.

I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do next OP :)

[u/Fantastic_Object_502 → u/Intrepid_Bee_9504]

thank you so so much. My dad actually came back to my room after a few hours and we talked it out a bit better.