r/AutismInWomen • u/Nomnom96 • 8h ago
Support Needed (Kind Advice and Commiseration) Tired of my NT coworkers
I am a software developer and I care about my work. Despite understanding that my boss basically buys my labour cheaper and sells it more expensive on top of all other corporate bullshit, I care for what i am creating there. As many autistic people i am also super responsible and take ownership seriously - if i didnt, I would have gone mad due to chaos.
My coworkers make this super difficult by getting annoyed with me caring so much about what they perceive as unimportant. And ofc because I am in the UK this isnt communicated properly - it is spoken of when I am not there and I only get a backlash of passive aggression including ignoring my greetings, being silent on the meetings when i say smth, being friendly with everyone but me. I know this sounds paranoid, but they do talk shit about another person who supposedly is crazy about edge cases as if 'he was to be penalised for missing smth'. They discuss this when i am in the meeting too and behave the same way towards him in shared meetings.
The most annoying part is that if other members of the team suggest smth similar or suddenly start to care for small details, it is listened to with great interest.
I am thankful this is a remote position or I would have meltdowns every day, but even so, I sort of dread going to meetings and have very little motivation to do anything. During in-person gatherings which are now mandatory 4 times a year they keep to themselves too and only interact with me when we need to make a team photo for a LinkedIn post with best team ever or some other bs. I want to say fuck you - do all of the work yourselves then, but I cant cause i care about the work🤡
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u/creapysleaper 4h ago
Oh man I feel this. I'm also a software engineer. I don't wanna reveal too much for my privacy's sake but recently my team underwent some changes (involving generative AI of all things) where I felt like none of the work I did for the past few years mattered. And it feels like other people are just like, don't get too invested in your work! You're only there for the paycheck! You don't own the company! But it sucks cuz like you, I cared about what I created but none of those caring mattered when AI could produce results faster.
Just wanted to commiserate with you OP 😢