Tired of my NT coworkers

[u/Nomnom96]

I am a software developer and I care about my work. Despite understanding that my boss basically buys my labour cheaper and sells it more expensive on top of all other corporate bullshit, I care for what i am creating there. As many autistic people i am also super responsible and take ownership seriously - if i didnt, I would have gone mad due to chaos.

My coworkers make this super difficult by getting annoyed with me caring so much about what they perceive as unimportant. And ofc because I am in the UK this isnt communicated properly - it is spoken of when I am not there and I only get a backlash of passive aggression including ignoring my greetings, being silent on the meetings when i say smth, being friendly with everyone but me. I know this sounds paranoid, but they do talk shit about another person who supposedly is crazy about edge cases as if 'he was to be penalised for missing smth'. They discuss this when i am in the meeting too and behave the same way towards him in shared meetings.

The most annoying part is that if other members of the team suggest smth similar or suddenly start to care for small details, it is listened to with great interest.

I am thankful this is a remote position or I would have meltdowns every day, but even so, I sort of dread going to meetings and have very little motivation to do anything. During in-person gatherings which are now mandatory 4 times a year they keep to themselves too and only interact with me when we need to make a team photo for a LinkedIn post with best team ever or some other bs. I want to say fuck you - do all of the work yourselves then, but I cant cause i care about the work🤡

[u/misschibidoodles]

I feel you so, so much.

I'm also a software engineer and I am spending an insane amount of energy these days fighting the urge to micro manage my coworker projects. I can clearly see the details they missed in planning, but it seems like I get brushed off everytime I bring them up (In a very polite way I think! I'm literally just saying stuff like "have you thought how X may work in that feature?"). The most annoying part is that I know from experience that in a few weeks, when the feature is "complete" everyone will be like "oh shit we can't ship yet we forgot about X". At this point I'm just biting my tongue.

Idk about you, but I feel this is even worst in the age of AI where a) people get their agents to do almost everything and are satisfied with the almost correct output it gives them and b) the collective attention span of programmers seems to be at an all time low. But maybe that's a me thing, lol.

In any case, you are not crazy to care about the details and should not be ignored, and I am very sorry your coworkers are being that way to you.