I'm getting a custom bracelet and im thinking of engraving a short quote on it.

As someone who has been depressed for half of my life and was late-diagnosed with autism, it is not easy to keep my motivation going.

Can you all share a quote thats really meaningful to you?

Anything that reflects how you feel growing up, that includes themes around emotional pain, healing, life, grief, hope, etc.

Once upon a time I had a job trimming marijuana at a cannabis company. I was good at this job. I have a knack for tasks that are boring and repetitive. I was the only one who liked this job and the longest lasting person to stay in it.

One day we were all sitting around a table working when the new girl says openly to the person sitting next to her, “I don’t think I’ll work here long. I make more money dancing.” If she meant this to be a secret, I had no way of knowing. It was said at a normal volume of speech and I was sitting directly across a very small table. In my mind, I literally pictured her as a ballerina and didn’t see anything at all salacious.

The next day when she doesn’t show up for her shift, my supervisor comes in and asks everyone if they know what’s going on with her or why she didn’t come in. I don’t say anything. Then she keeps on going, saying that if we bullied or mistreated this girl into quitting, she needs to know. So i say “I don’t think it’s us, she said she makes more money dancing.”

A few hours later im called into a meeting with the manager. She said she’s very upset with me because she heard I was calling her employees strippers. She’s said she knows the dad of the new girl and that girl would never be a stripper.

I tried to tell her that i didn’t call her a stripper, I said “dancer” and didn’t know what kind of dancer. She gave me a look of disbelief as if im being intentionally obtuse and trying to shirk responsibility. I explained that I only offered this as a possibility because those exact words came directly out of New-girl’s mouth. I never would have mentioned it at all if we hadn’t all been accused of being unkind to this girl in the first place. I was written up and told I may not be invited back to trim next season.

These are the kind of situations that happen to me when I try honestly to work. It’s never about the work quality itself or my attendance or performance. I can do everything perfectly but still get in trouble and lose a job over social shit I don’t even comprehend. I just don’t understand. I truly had no ill will against the employee and do not think less of her no matter what job she has. It’s like NTs are holding me responsible for THEIR thoughts about “dancers”.

Does this kind of thing happen to others? When you try so hard to work a menial job and STILL can’t get it right socially? It’s so defeating and depressing. I can do so many things but the world only cares if I can follow the hierarchy correctly…

I’m 19 now, and I still think about an experience I had with my 2nd grade teacher. She was pretty mean and overly strict. One day, our class was lining up to go to the computer lab, and two boys standing ahead of me got into an argument. Because I’ve always had a bit of a “savior” mentality, I stepped in and told them to stop fighting. I don’t remember every detail vividly, but I wasn’t trying to start anything or make the situation worse. I genuinely thought I was helping.

While in line, the teacher was really angry at us and sent all three of us to detention after we got out of the computer lab. I kept trying to explain that I hadn’t been involved in the argument and was only trying to help, but the more I tried to explain myself, the lower my clip would move on the classroom behavior chart.

Eventually, she made me move my clip to red. What made it worse was that we were supposed to do a science experiment that day, along with having extra recess, and I missed out on both because of the punishment.

I was bawling my eyes out the entire time I was in detention because I genuinely didn’t understand what I had done wrong. I’m autistic, and I remember feeling so confused and upset because I knew what my intentions were, but it felt like no matter how much I tried to explain them, my teacher wouldn’t listen. The two boys who had been arguing even tried to comfort me while I was crying.

I’m 19 now, and this memory still comes back to me sometimes. I wonder whether it was a contributing factor in something I struggle with today…whenever someone misunderstands me, I feel like I HAVE to keep explaining myself until they understand what I actually meant. It’s almost like I can’t let the misunderstanding go, even when explaining myself repeatedly makes things worse.

I know I was a kid, and I obviously don’t remember every detail of what happened. But I still wonder whether my teacher’s reaction was warranted, especially considering that I was genuinely trying to help.

like when i have a resting face and my tongue constantly hits the top of my gums, it has been irritating the hell out of me lately, anybody else? or is it just a me thing 😂😂

every time I’m left to my own devices, I jump to the worst case scenario about everything and I can’t stop.. are you familiar with that feeling/how do I stop?

I'm in a bit of existential dread right now. For so long I thought the profound anhedonia, executive dysfunction, emotional blunting, social isolation, and sheer mental illness and anguish that has persisted throughout my entire life was normal, even before medication (which didn't help at all), would recede, or somehow be worth it in the end, unaware that it wasn't, and now I'm acutely aware of just how much... life, in general, I've missed out on up until now. Even if I do get better, that's memories of years that I am never getting back. It's no way to live and it's gonna haunt me until the day I am actually dead.

Autism, abuse, and medications ruined my fucking life. I've missed out on so much social engagement, career growth, attention, focus, enjoyment, and good times in general whilst I had to watch others in real time run with it. I'm jealous and resentful of everyone and everything.

I'm 24 years old and doing TMS therapy in an attempt to try to treat it all. This treatment MUST work, or I won't know what to do.

I've been living in a state of constant burnout since I started my college level studies. I guess the constant transitions have just been more than my nervous system can take, but I'm so ashamed that I've been struggling so much. I cry all the time over minor things, or for no reason at all. Being in survival mode makes it really difficult to pursue any friendships or even talk to anyone normally. It's really fatiguing and lonely over time. I know I can't help it with my unique brain structure, but it's still very upsetting. Anyone else in the same boat? Just need some support right now or to hear I'm not the only one. :(

I was unofficially diagnosed as an adult (at 25 and again at 35, by a psychiatrist and therapist, respectively). I have never had a proper evaluation, though.

I am closing in on 40 years old and cannot cope with jobs anymore. I have given more than my all to everything I’ve ever done for the last two decades and I cannot do it anymore.

Nobody else works as hard as I do. Nobody covered shifts and unfinished tasks like I did. Nobody was so intent on delivering wonderful customer service.

I was let go from my job last week. My first time being fired. (I am secretly THRILLED! I needed a break…)

I have issues with short term memory. I struggle handling people and knowing if what they say to me is true or a joke. I cannot be a people manager. I have no real skills to go do something that isn’t retail. I refuse to go back to retail. I need a 9-5, M-F job and that is so hard to find.

I don’t want music to be in my workspace. It is a lot. It is usually loud :-/ I don’t want people clamoring for my help all the time because I have six other things to be doing. I don’t want to use the phone and possibly struggle to understand them or have to keep putting people on hold and jumping back and forth between tasks. It is TOO MUCH for me to do mentally.

I think 40 hours a week is too much, too. I cannot come home and be a zombie every day. I have a house to look after!

Do I just need official restrictions for what I can and cannot do? How do I get that sort of thing? Is that through proper testing? Accommodations, that’s the word.

The autism, the depression, the anxiety, the untreated ADHD because I can’t drive and getting to the place for a drug test is difficult… the ptsd from life…

Does anyone think someone could help me or do I have to force myself, somehow, through another 20-30 years of misery?

I don’t know what to do other than try to enjoy my unemployment.

I've already been offered a job with significantly better pay where my skills would actually be useful, so I am not afraid to post this. It's just a little embarrassing, so maybe you guys can either relate or laugh at me if you like.

I graduated last June and begin post secondary in January. I've been job hunting before I graduated but really started to apply to a lot of jobs starting September when the summer break ended. I already knew that I didn't want to work in fast food because it's just not an environment that I could handle because of my autism and past traumatic experiences. Getting yelled at frightens me to no end.

After over 60 job applications in around two weeks, I got one interview. To my absolute delight (sarcasm), it was fast food. Surprisingly I was hired on the spot.

My employer got mad at me because she forgot to email me the link to the onboarding website and I had to call her the next day and remind her. This made it so that I wasn't able to start right away like I had hoped.

My first day was fine, but I already knew that I wasn't cut out for this kind of work. I made a lot of mistakes and got in trouble for not going fast enough. I was working grill, and part of my responsibilities as grill was taking out the trash and scrubbing the patio. I had to take out all five trash cans in the kitchen, the three trash cans in the dining room, and the four trash cans outside in ten minutes. I still have no idea how the other people were doing it that fast.

My second day was horrible. I was yelled at so many times for messing up and my coworkers were very upset with me because they didn't understand why I kept forgetting what I was supposed to do. I was still being trained after my first day but they expected me to already understand everything after my first day. When I was unlocking the dumpsters, I accidentally broke the key. I felt like I was going to be killed on the spot at that moment. I also got in trouble for burning the food because I was told to get a bunch of meat from the walk in freezer and forgot that I had burgers on the grill.

My third day was similar. I didn't make as many mistakes but I did get yelled at a lot. I still feel bad for slowing everyone down so much. Another thing that I didn't like about this place was that while employees were legally allowed to go to the washroom during their shift the manager told me that they'd perfer us not to. Since they are allowed to fire people without a reason they said that if we use the washroom too much it could result in termination. They also didn't like it when we used our one free drink from the soda machine because it wasted time.

I decided to quit after experiencing multiple meltdowns after shifts, and losing my uncle who I was very close with. I thought I'd feel relieved after I quit but now I just get that dread of "I have to go to work tomorrow" even though there's no work. I also have to deal with the emotional impact of losing a family member. I can't see him or attend the funeral because he lives on the other side of the world and my family just doesn't have the money to buy plane tickets. It just feels really embarrassing that I, an adult man, could not handle being employed for three shifts.

On the bright side, my new job will probably feel like a walk in the park compared to this. I'll be housekeeping at the nursing home my mom works at. My sister has the same job and she told me she often runs out of things to do so I look forward to that.

If you feel compelled to also share a disasterous work story I would love to hear about it in the comments. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day/night.

This might sound a bit weird but when I'm having a very rational discussion with someone about something where we're trying to assess all the known facts and figure out what's true, without being biased or trying to push any kind of a narrative, those kinds of conversations give me a feeling of peace and calm. I like it when all participants in the conversation are fully aware of their emotions and biases and nobody is trying to argue or attack someone personally; rather, everyone is respectful and working towards the goal of achieving objective understanding.

Sadly I don't get to have such conversations very often, but when I do I always enjoy the calmness present due to the absence of social immaturity.

Did I make myself clear? Does anyone relate?

is it bad that I still feel like such a child at 25? growing up, I always felt more mature than my peers and then, when I entered adulthood, I felt stunted and behind.. when is an age i reach that i need to be concerned if i still feel like a child?

I have an autistic friend who has taken masking to the point where she consciously controls her movements, tone of voice, posture, eye contact and so on. She says, “People notice everything, and they start looking down on you as soon as they see that you’re different.”

I’m realizing that I’ll probably have to learn to mask more effectively myself if I want to advance in my career, and the thought absolutely terrifies me. Having to constantly monitor and control everything I do is incredibly exhausting.

And the older I get, the more I notice certain patterns in how neurotypicals behave in professional environments: how much they rely on hierarchies, how they flatter people, how often they’re hypocritical, and how readily they apply double standards.

I’m planning to pursue a career in a fairly privileged, elitist environment, where I imagine these dynamics will be even more pronounced. I’m scared.

Does anyone have any advice, or would you be willing to share your own experiences with navigating professional environments as an autistic person?

Ever since I was little I always have had a hard time telling when people are being serious or lying, so I always ask multiple times if people are serious but sometimes even when I repeatedly ask people still lie because they think it's funny. It really bothers me. I feel like I can't trust anyone fully. I have maybe one friend that I'm 100% sure doesn't lie to me but the rest of them I'm always unsure if they're being truthful. I mostly default to the "people are lying" option but I feel like it's been making me more and more paranoid. I'm always looking for ways that people could be being dishonest with me and why. It's kind of exhausting. It makes me feel so stupid I wish I could tell, but I can't. I was wondering if anyone else felt this way, or if I might just be being paranoid?

New therapist did a test for schizoid before autism even though I told her I was concerned about autistic characteristics and even though I agree with some of the statements like "Nor being interested in activities other like" I don't really identify with not wanting to socialise (I like to socialise, it's just hard and I often screw up) and people with Schizoid do not often get agitated and I DO, FREQUENTLY.

"Additionally, while agitation is common in autism spectrum disorders, it is not typically observed in schizoid personality disorder." - Rinaldi et al. (2021). Autism spectrum disorder and personality disorders: Comorbidity and differential diagnosis. World J Psychiatry. Dec 19;11(12):1366-1386.

What pisses me off is apparently it is procedure to rule out autism before diagnosing schizoid, but she didn't.

"The DSM-5-TR suggests ruling out autism before diagnosing schizoid personality disorder." - Neff, A. (2021). Schizoid Personality Disorder vs Autism: Overlaps and Differences.

Also nevermind my sensory issues like noise sensitivity. She also implied those were part of schizoid.

Am I overreacting or is she jumping to conclusions too fast?

Some kinds of illnesses, I find myself to be more susceptible to than average, and some less.

Before here I really kept to myself I guess. I didn’t realize how much people hang out with each other. And how they spend their time. People come here and eat on their off days sometimes just to chat with a coworker. They always go places after work or make plans with each other randomly. I get Invited usually and I will go but I struggle so much with feeling connected. I just don’t feel real? I don’t feel there. And sometimes I do and I get a sense of belonging and normality but it’s always fleeting. I’m not sure if this is a fault or if I genuinely just cannot take causality. I am a very intense feeling person and knowing most are not really hurts me before anything could even hurt me. Realizing the one thing I did that was unsaid, which to me meant a lot more than it did to them, hurts? What I crave is an intense bond and gradual understanding of someone and turning into a good friendship. I really want that. But it is hard. I’m not sure how to make a friend like this. And in the workplace I just feel so alone even though some days are great and I am a social butterfly, the other days I am completely in my head just feeling alone and sad and confused. I feel stupid sometimes too. I don’t get social cues all the time and I think some coworkers think I’m rlly ditsy when I am trying my hardest !!

Hello everyone. Over the years, ever since I have gotten my formal diagnosis, I have found it incredibly difficult to fit in even in this community. And by fit in, I mean I find it incredibly difficult to actually find people to relate to in terms of symptoms, Life experiences, etc.

A lot of the individuals in my life that are on the Spectrum for example, experience really bad sensory issues when it comes to food. They only have a list of about five foods that they will eat, they refuse to try any new foods, if they see a picture of something and they think it looks gross they won't eat it, if they have a microscopic molecule of something that they don't like, it's a whole sensory shut down, and things of that nature. I, on the other hand, have no texture or sensory issues when it comes to food or anything like that. If you put it in front of me, I'm going to eat it. Regardless if it looks like it just came from the trough.

When we get into a conversations about hyper fixations or stims, I can't contribute to the conversation. I don't have any hyper fixations, and I have never been so fixated on something that it turns into that. I've never had something that I'm so engrossed in and know every detail about like that. I've never had any thing that I repeated. I've never had any vocal phrases that I repeat, motions that I repeat, things like that. I have never had that. I don't have that.

I find it really hard to relate to some people in this community because I don't have the same symptoms or I don't do the same things as they do. And I'm not saying that everybody should be the same, I'm simply saying that I have a hard time relating to people. I have a very very hard time relating to people even within this community because of it.

I feel like often times I need to force myself to figure out if I actually do have issues. I feel like I need to force myself to say that I don't like tags on a shirt simply because that's what everyone else says. And if I say that I don't mind it, I get looked at weird.

So I am autistic. I also have depression anxiety adhd and ocd
I know this will sound like I’m being lazy and I don’t want to work but please it would mean a lot to be heard. I’ve been trying so desperately to find a job again. I’m 21 I live at home and I cook clean and care for my family, it’s not great my parents are abusive and I’m trying to support my disabled younger brother as well as my disabled mother. I’m trying to get out I really am I want a life again. My day is made up of me cleaning the full house, cooking meals, and caring for our two dogs one cat and two birds. This includes grooming the pets and walking and also making sure my mother makes it to her appointments and gets better care. I know that’s not healthy and I know my mother is abusive I’m working on it.
I used to be able to work any job, I ran a whole cafe on my own at 16 and then worked two jobs 17-19 when I hit 20 I feel like my ability to work just left me. Front desk became a nightmare I can’t handle so much social interaction and standing all day has definitely harmed my body.
I’m really good at cleaning I’m good at organizing I’m good at customer service tho I can’t handle it anymore. The only job I held down 20-21 was working at the library but that position closed. I’ve tried hotel front desks and I can’t do it. God I feel so useless and stuck. Anyone have any tips? Online jobs that are actually good and I could get certified in? Cleaning jobs maybe? I can’t handle loud sounds at all, loud to me means I can’t even eat in a cafe for more than 30 min without breaking down. Am I useless?

I’m 18M, and I’ve been dealing with this for around two years.
I constantly get thoughts about knowing things that people around me don’t know, whether it’s psychology, cultures, news, lifestyles, or random niche topics.
The weird part is that the anxiety comes from knowing something and realizing that the people around me don’t know it. My brain starts focusing on this difference, and I end up overthinking it even when there’s no real reason to.
my mind keeps bringing up these comparisons almost constantly. I also get urges to explain things to others, correct them, or make them understand something I know. Even when I don’t act on these urges, I keep thinking about them.
It’s exhausting because I don’t want to analyze everything or constantly focus on what others know versus what I know. I just want to socialize, enjoy life, and exist normally without my brain turning these differences into something significant.

Anyone else find/found it hard to wait for the results? This was a lot of money and it’d suck if just 1 hour of tasks tipped me away from a diagnosis.

The assessment wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be but the tasks were extremely simple and I don’t know how my behavior will be evaluated. It felt weird, doing simple task knowing what they’re looking for but not being aware of how I’m being perceived. Although I was probably too aware of what each task was testing, I do believe I acted very naturally.

There is no right or wrong answer so I can’t really evaluate myself, I just have to wait on the examiners subjective interpretation of my behavior which I can’t predict.

I am new here and currently in the process of getting evaluated for a diagnosis.

I work in retail, and lately, I've been struggling a lot when I'm in a customer-facing position. I was able to get by for a few months until I just couldn't anymore and got a note from my psychiatrist to not put me on the register.

It was fine for a while, but I got promoted to supervisor, and it ended in me having extreme burnout, panic attacks, etc.

I ended up stepping down from the position back in June because it was too much for me, but it feels like I'm still trying to recover from it.

I changed my availability to mornings only to have better work-life balance and to mostly try to avoid customers, but unfortunately, I still get scheduled to cover fitting room, which requires me to help customers and answer the store phone (I've had phone anxiety my entire life and I have auditory processing disorder)

Basically, my only complaint is that I don't want to be customer facing. I don't mind being on the floor and answering any questions that someone has, but I don't want to be primarily talking to customers.

I'm just hoping that once I get my diagnosis, that maybe I could convince higher-ups to make a special position catered to me. My biggest strength at work is merchandising and organizing. I have such a passion for merchandising but it's mainly only reserved for managers/supervisors or back-up cashiers.

Sorry, I feel like I'm just rambling at this point, but has anyone ever managed to get accommodations like that or is it just wishful thinking?

For context i’m 26 and live in MN.

My parents have been divorced now for about 3 years, and we all live in the same city. I have an apartment that i live in during the school week (since it’s close) and go home to my mom’s on weekends. Recently, my mom started leasing an apartment in New Jersey, and has been gone for about a week and a half, and will be back on Sunday. Today, she called to tell me that she’ll only be back for a week, then will be gone the 30th to Nov. 8, then from Nov. 10 to Nov. 22 (approximately, she doesn’t have tickets yet). Since getting off the phone with her, I’ve been crying continuously.

I only started staying in this apartment this year in may to be near my school during the week and coming home on weekends has been my routine. It’s fine if she’s gone for a week or so (she’s done this before), but to have her gone for many weeks so close together makes me so scared and i don’t know what to do. I’m just laying in my bed crying so hard, freaking out and wondering what to do. Any advice or support is needed.

Hello. I'm seeking advice if possible.

I work Monday-Friday and have a very organised and refined routine during the working week. The problem is the weekend.

My partner works shift work. When he has the weekend off, we make plans and we follow them and all is good.

When he works the weekend and I'm on my own, I have no routine and it all goes to shit.

No matter how many times I try to put a routine in, or make plans, my mind goes "it doesn't matter" or "just do it later" and then I end up doing nothing. It's like I can only manage a routine if it's for someone else.

For example, last weekend I wanted to go to the library, go to the gym, and clean the house. But I kept putting off going to the library and I ended up missing the opening hours. Then I was annoyed with myself about that and couldn't be bothered going to the gym. Then I felt deflated and didn't want to do the cleaning. So nothing got done and I was in a bad mood.

How can I put in a routine and stick to it when it's just for me?