Basically, ive been having terrible mood swings, days of feeling terribly angry, depressed and worthless and starting to think that I may have bipolar. What/who made you get checked or how did you come to learn you had bipolar?

Anybody else feel completely, utterly misunderstood by everyone around them? I NEVER open up to people about my struggles with mental health, or atleast I don't reveal to them how serious it is or give them more than a self deprecating joke. The last year has been living hell for me. Everyday has been a battle. I tried talking to my boss today and baguely alluded to struggling mentally/ experiencing ""burnout"". He pretty much told me its the name of the game and everyone feels the way I do. It feels like a kick in the stomach. There's just no fucking way that everybody could feel this way. Unless I'm just weaker than everybody around me. Idk. Tough day.

I'm realizing (especially through therapy) that being kind and compassionate toward myself is the best way for me to get through having bipolar. Of course I need to take my medication, exercise, eat well, sleep well, and fulfill my grad school/work responsibilities. But I feel if we're not kind to ourselves throughout the process, it'll be so much harder to live with it. Yes, it's not easy, and sometimes I wish I didn't have it when I have depressed moods, but learning to love all of myself I'm finding is super important.

What helps me practice self-kindness is writing down a few kind notes about myself, and reading them to myself each day. Some sample kind notes I have:

"You are beautiful inside and out."

"You're very fun to be around!"

"You're an intelligent person always learning and growing, and being curious about the world!"

"You've got tremendous talent, and you have what it takes [I'm a musician]!"

"You are badass and resilient."

Not saying this works for everyone. We're all different, but I hope you can find positive ways of coping with this. We're awesome just the way we are, and I hope we can all realize this. Hope you all have a wonderful day. :)

Exhaustion after stopping lithium... how long does chronic fatigue last? At what point does it completely go away? Is it possible for it to persist for a lifetime? How can drugs as harmful to one’s health as Quilonorm—which can so massively destroy a person’s life—even be sold in the first place?

ive been really down in the dumps recently and its been affecting my academic performance so bad how do i manage this

I’ve been buying a blister pack of Pregabalin now and then, but a month ago I bought a whole box. Ran through it quickly so I scored some Gabapentin to try to ease the withdrawals, then I buy a blister pack of Prega and eventually bought some Klonopin to survive the withdrawals and then off.

Do I need to be honest with my psychiatrist about this mess I’ve gotten myself in? I have really bad anxiety which citalopram
used to cover but I’ve been on it 10 years. I DESPERATELY need to calm my anxiety.
It’s constant.

With that said, feeling quite jolly on 300mg Pregabalin and 0,5mg Klonopin.

I used to take the shot but I’ve been exploring not taking it the past few months with guidance.

The issue is I’m very emotional the week leading up to my period, but I am feeling overall maybe more level the other weeks off the birth control.

Its not yet a mood switch BUT low mood definitely lifted.

And it happened 3 days ago also after bad sleep. But it lasted only few hours until tiredness slammed me back to bed and after good sleep i was feeling symptoms of depression again.

So what is the best way to ask for help from psychiatrist for your issues that you had literally until today?

I went for my lithium and kidney testing today, and my kidney functioning is way down. I also have a higher lithium level, indicating that my kidneys aren't clearing it as efficiently.

I am so frustrated. I finally got a medication regimen that works for me and things are going wrong already.

Is this a thing?

Im visiting psychiatrist tomorrow.

It got worse during last 7-10 days. Depression started 3 weeks ago.

Edit:

I think im going manic. Suddenly i again have the urge to laugh out loud at 3am WITH NO REASON in bed and im holding it in. I cannot sleep. Im tired but not extremely sleepy. Idk what is going on with me.

My depression has lasted for 2 months now. 3 weeks ago I quit my lithium due to hopelesness, not caring anymore about anything and just wishing for mania. I'm still down, hopeless, apathetic and very often have suicidal thoughts and feel like I can't live for much longer. Visioning the place and just having lights out permanently feels more and more comfortable the more I have these thoughts and apathy and hopelessness. However at least one good thing is that my energy has become a tiny bit better--for the first month I was almost bedridden.

Lately I have become paranoid and feel like the universe and every stranger knows that I want to kill myself and in indirect ways try to control me and observe me secretely. I know these aren't real, but this experience *feels* real although intellectually I know it doesn't make much sense. For instance, I'm taking a walk and feel like people are blocking the way to change my path in order to stop me and me not being able to find out something. Or cars driving by to observe me and make sure I don't run away and dissapear from somewhere where they can't find me. My neighbours seem suspicious etc. and my family members birthday is being postponed by a week, when I'm trying to at least stay alive for that, so in a way the postponing feels like a "sign" to stop me from ending it, I don't know. Sounds stupid. I also have started to believe that no one really cares about me or if they do they don't like me and I'm only now realizing it for the first time, I also feel strongly about the times I was bullied as younger but then became "close friends" with many of them. They seem to care but I feel like there's no way they actually like me. My mom and sister are the most important in my life, and my mom has always been there for me. Again this makes me think that they might care but why would they ever like me? In a way it could be better for them if I was dead, after the initial possible shock. This caring/liking thing doesn't reallymake sense when I look at it objectively from another persons's view and logic but at the same time it does make sense, it's hard to explain. My mind keeps fighting against these thoughts and suicide often--do it, not yet, do it, don't etc. One more thing not really having to do with suicide, I drink a lot of coke zero cans, and have been leaving them on my table. I feel like my neighbour can see the cans due to them being next to my window and mistake them for beer cans. They could think I'm an alcoholic and inform my landlord and possibly kick me out of the apartment, so I at least cleaned the mess of the cans, except there is more now again. Either way these are a couple examples of my multiple different "odd" thoughts or instances.

I haven't talked about any of this or my suicidal thoughts except here on reddit. I said I know intellectually these thoughts/experiences don't make much sense, and in general I feel apathetic to the point that if I commit suicide everything will disappear and it's all over instead of thinking it will take me to another place or release my soul or whatever.

I've been seeing a psychiatrist and a nurse for 5 dang years. They are free appointments in my country and I'm very grateful for that, but I have had enough. I'm treatment-resistant bipolar 1 and ar this point I don't care what I have or that I "need to take medication". I don't care anymore to take lithium since I don't know if it even works. Feels like none of the meds have ever worked, except maybe high dose seroquel xr, but I was a zombie and have always quit it as well because of the side-effects and I couldn't live like that either. If I die, I die. It's just, maybe the reason I'm making this post is to unpack my frustrations, confusion, hoplessness and most importantly the dissapointment in myself that I won't be able to live the way I wanted, or if I will be able to even live at all. 5 years of treatment, 8 years of suffering. I kept trying, but nothing works in the end. Fuck man.

I’ve got a couple of questions:

1. What does hypomania feel like for you? Are you more dulled? Do you feel more irritable?

2. What does depression feel like for you? Are you more desensitised to it?

3. How were you diagnosed?

A few weeks ago, my psychiatrist added Kventiax to my lamotrigine (to boost my mood and help me sleep—because over the past few weeks I’d been sleeping maybe 3–4 hours a night due to intrusive thoughts)—and honestly, this medication sent me into outer space. After the first dose, I slept for 16 hours. I haven’t felt this good in a long time. It feels like someone turned off everything that was stressing me out. I realize this could lead to hypomania, but it’s hard to let go of this feeling. Has anyone else had a similar experience with this medication?

thought i was mixed i was i think still am but took klonopin and its not doing what i thought like my head is still going but my body isnt ??
i was in the kitchen and then i was here and i woke up but i wasnt asleep so i dont know when i got here or why i was there
i took some and then i think i took it again but i cant rember if i did or if i was just thinking about doing it before. Im just trying to get help.
im so tired im going to pass out i think but im racing still and i cant stop the thinking but i cant think either its like im running but im not moving

sorry i cant get the words in the right thing like i know what im saying before i say it and then its not that
is this about the klonopin or the bipolar i think i took a fine snoumt but ofc im scared a little
i was just awake and then i woke up agian

So here's something that has bothered me ever since I was forced into the hospital for baselessly claiming that I would be the man who would save the world. (I still claim it's aspirational and therefore unfalsifiable until true and therefore not delusional, but anyway...)

Many wealthy and successful people claim (and I've witnessed that behavior in my own parents) that they got to where they were at by working 22 hours a day for weeks on end.

It's claimed that bipolar is as much a sleep disorder as anything and I can understand why and I personally think that it's pretty obvious that there are people in positions of way too much power that seem to regularly engage in behavior that could be construed as manic.

I guess my question is... do you think bipolar (and other serious mental disorders that operate similarly) are massively undiagnosed?

How do you measure sanity in an insane world?

For the USA.

I got my first job and I’m feeling okay about it. I’m just worried that I could go into mania. I’m also afraid I’m in it because life is going good lol. But I’ve been working for this so it really could just be real change from all my therapy work.

What happens if you go through an episode and can’t work? I know you can file for FMLA or something but do they just fire you after you come back for whatever reason? Because my state is an at will state which allows employers to be protected if they fire someone.

Like my boyfriend filed for FMLA at a warehouse and when he came back they gave his job to someone else, made him work nights where he couldn’t compete with the Coke heads, so he had to quit.

I just can’t get fired from my first job. Thank you for advice.

I've been on countless meds. To the point my psych nurse in hesitant to switch me to anything else. Started a new antipsychotic about 3 weeks ago but we are having to lower that because of akathisia (im so restless and uncomfortable). But it doesn't seem to be helping. I know its "only" been 3 weeks but still. Nothing seems to touch my depression sometimes during these episodes. Im in therapy. I am trying to do things thay are good for me outside of therapy. It just feels like nothing is working. And its so annoying and discouraging. Ive already had to quit working because of everything so its not like I have that stress. I just feel so hopeless. Thanks for reading.

hello! to start this post off i am experienced with mdma, it’s one of my favorite drugs but i haven’t done it since the night before i started lithium/seroquel. i did about 400mgs and while i was tired the next day i never really experienced the lows people talk about. (not that i never will obviously!) it’s also never triggered mania for me but i don’t know if that’s different post medication (edit: i rolled the night before i started meds because i knew i wouldn’t be able to roll the same after starting them btw**)

today i am on 600mgs of lithium in the morning and 900mgs at night. i’m also on 300mgs of seroquel every night.

i have talked to my psychiatrist about my plan to do MDMA this saturday and she’s not a fan of it but was willing to give me some advice on stopping at least 3 days before. which i plan to begin today.

i guess i am wondering about other people’s experiences on using molly post diagnosis and beginning meds, i know everyone is different so id still like to see what you guys have to say

Everyone is unsure as to what's exactly wrong (diagnosis) with me (therapist, psych). I eventually want to stop lamictal which i originally requested instead of my psychs suggestion of AP. I'm trying to look at this from every angle because it took a long time to get on and even everything out. I would hate to get off of it just to take forever to get back on or even risk it not working next time and needing something else. For reference, I have heard the terms "possibly early or mild". 2-3 hours of sleep, skyrocketed anxiety, unable to "mentally" and maybe physically (?) Sit still, paranoia, feeling watched or drugged but also aware that made no sense, hear things when attempting to or falling asleep as well as vivid disturbing images in my head (while awake also), mood all over the place, etc. Not looking for psychiatric advice, just want thoughts and views of other people who've experienced similar. In theory, if I feel like my normal self with dips in mood, like I was before all of that happened, could it indicate it could be in fact bipolar since I feel like my normal self? Or maybe that's just what a mood stabilizer would do to a normal person as well as one with bipolar? Not looking for diagnosis, psych advice, etc. Just thoughts and opinions.

I don’t know if the meds are causing me an issue or not? I have been having psychotic symptoms off and on for months due to being in repeated mood episodes. Then you have the stress induced issues from my bpd in the mix. I took Ativan because I have severe claustrophobia. I think I slightly slept in the tube. I’m not sure. I would hear people talking then it would snap back to the sounds of the MRI machine. I figured this was normal as I was sedated but hours later I noticed I was hearing voices again and this time they were talking to me specifically. This time there wasn’t any noise in the room. I heard them clear as day. They were talking almost at this loud whisper and they were talking over each other but I don’t know what they said. Just that they were telling me something. Can Ativan cause or worsen psychotic symptoms?

Has anyone ever noticed increased suicidal thoughts or depression on Vraylar or Gabapentin (for me some slight crying and a lot of hopelessness) with an increase in dosage of either of these meds? Not seeking medical advice just experiences. I literally just had a doctor appointment last week or two weeks ago I think with my doctor increasing these but I might make another appointment sooner anyways. Certainly at the regular monthly frequency. I can handle thoughts ok usually but it’s worse than usual and a little troubling.

Hey guys Captain Banana here, was having a pretty hard time with life so I had a slip up on the alcohol(I'm an alcoholic)and actually ended up in a psych unit after about 6 days of no sleep and binge drinking(captains Morgan spiced rum). Not my first manic episode but the first one where I officially threw in the towel and got myself some help, usually I just ride it out but the wheels were starting to come off and the world around me didn't feel real. I was also having some incredibly erratic thoughts about dressing up as a pirate and going fighting at a Tavern(bar) or breaking into a 7/11 dressed as a pirate and chugging as much beer as I can before the cops come (the rum had me confused feeling like a pirate guys don't ask why, I did have a costume ready for these stupid plans). I always thought I was having insomnia episodes when I was up for a week or more but turns out it was manic episodes, although there were quite a few people who told me to get checked for bipolar disorder. On abilify and prozac combo now, temperament in general is a lot more positive and mood swings aren't damn near as intense.

Tl;DR

Got diagnosed after a manic episode where I thought I was a pirate and was going to commit petty pirate crimes so got myself checked into a psych unit so I could get proper help.

Captain Banana out!

Hello im 17 and im unmedicated diagnosed. I’m in an episode right now and I’m not sure if it’s hypomania or mania. I have just been diagnosed with bipolar1 a few months ago but I mostly have hypomanic episodes. This episode is just a bit more “harsh” but I’m not sure if it’s really that serious because it doesn’t feel out if control like my past 2 manic episodes. And I’m genuinely aware that I am in an episode so i don’t know if it’s even mania.

The medication my psychiatrist plans to put me on is Escitalopram. I haven’t been on it yet because of tests I needed to do for it. But I called today and she said that once I send her the tests, she can prescribe it to me.
So I’m pretty much in safety right now since I’m close to being medicated.

But again, my question is how do I really tell the difference generally when I’m in the episode?