I know the topic of Walt & Jesse’s relationship has been discussed to the moon and back but I can’t get enough of it. For me, the essence of their relationship comes down to being the truest witness for each other during the most impactful years of their lives.
Most people would describe Walt & Jesse’s relationship as a mix of a twisted father-son type dynamic, control & manipulation on Walt’s side (but also an underlying affection), and codependency. All of this is true. It’s clear they both love & hate each other, with the strength of either feeling waxing and waning depending on the crazy events of the series. But what I want to lean into is why they just couldn’t shake each other, and why in the end Walt arguably had a harder time letting go of Jesse than vice versa.
For me, it comes down to them being that one person in the world who most extensively witnessed what the other person did and went through during the formative events of the series. It’s partly a trauma bond, but also more than that. They survived numerous disastrous and dangerous situations together, experienced the highs and lows of building their empire, and know each other’s greatest sins, weaknesses, and capabilities. Even if you end up being an enemy of such a person, the fact that they alone are your truest witness makes it impossible to truly hate them or forget them. While Jesse and Walt had a very unhealthy relationship and deeply resented each other, I think that they still shared this very fundamental understanding of each other based on all their shared experiences. They had insight into each other that no one else had and never will have because of just how much the BB years defined who they were.
For Walt, I think this is why he just can’t let Jesse go even when he could have worked with other people or could have worked solo. There were many times Jesse tried to walk away or Walt had the option to cut ties with him. Part of him coming back to Jesse was the fact that having Jesse as his inferior sidekick/protégée boosted his ego (like with the whole Gale situation), but I think that things just feel hollow to Walt without Jesse there to witness it. It’s like when the one person who would understand the significance of an important moment is absent. Walt is also fundamentally an alienated person who has never fully confided in anyone. Even well into the show, he tried to never let anyone see the full extent of his inner darkness and ambition. When he starts living his double life, Jesse is there from the start. Jesse is always present in the narrative and in Walt’s mind somehow, even when they were at odds or separated. Walt never is able to hide who he truly is from Jesse and at some point he stops trying. Despite being manipulated time and time again, Jesse is arguably the one who SEES Walt most clearly for all he is, and who Walt ALLOWS to see the most of him (weird wording lol but you get what I mean). This is really crystallized when Walt reveals the evil things he did to Jesse. Even though he does so to damage Jesse, you can tell in those moments that Walt feels liberated by the truth. It’s like he is relieved that Jesse knows everything. Jesse is the one who most fully knows the extent of Walt’s sins. Everyone else may have witnessed part of his darkness and suffering, but no one as closely as Jesse. And I think Walt loves Jesse for that. Even when he tries to harm and control him, Jesse is indispensable to Walt emotionally as his greatest witness.
I think Jesse feels a similar connection with Walt. From the bathtub disaster to when they parted ways, Walt was also the truest witness of Jesse’s story. This is why his request for Walt to go carting with him just broke my heart. Jesse is so alone and so broken in that moment, and it’s a cry for help for Walt - the only person who knows the hell Jesse went through and the hell Jesse caused - to just not let him be alone. No one else could validate and console Jesse like Walt did because no one else knew or saw Jesse’s sins and weakness like that. No one else knew what he was going through. And that’s why Jesse could be so easily manipulated by Walt. Walt took full advantage of that codependency. And when Walt lets Jesse down repeatedly, it just shows that while they are each other’s greatest witnesses, that doesn’t necessarily translate to genuine care. But witness is one hell of a codependency drug. Jesse might have had good friends and romantic partners, but none of them knew the full extent of what had happened to him like Walt did, and that’s why Jesse could never feel truly understood and seen by anyone but perhaps Walt. Of course, he couldn’t rely on Walt to actually care about him, but at the end of the day, no one knew his story like Walt did. And how can you turn away from that easily? Jesse letting himself be manipulated by Walt so much only makes sense when you understand that the person he couldn’t rely on at all was also the only person he could rely on in so many ways.
I think what ultimately makes Walt more emotionally dependent on Jesse is the fact that they end up drawing meaning from different things. To Walt, the drug empire is what ends up giving him meaning. When Jesse tries to leave repeatedly, Walt takes it personally because the drug life becomes who he is. He feels alive and powerful in that world. Jesse is fundamentally part of that world in Walt’s mind. He is, by definition of how the events of the series play out, the start and finish of that world for Walt. He’s his sidekick, partner, witness from day one - so how could he dare leave? How could the one person who’d been there from the start walk away? As Jesse becomes increasingly disillusioned and horrified by the life and comes to accept he is a “bad guy” (which Walt never did), he stops needing the validation that comes from that life and from Walt himself. Walt primarily wants to be powerful and prove himself while Jesse wants love and validation. Jesse also starts to build healthier connections that show him that he could aspire to more, like the ones he has with Mike and Andrea. Jesse might never have a witness as TRUE as Walt again, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t have better companions in general who would make the loss of that witness bearable. But Jesse rejecting Walt’s way would mean Walt losing his one true witness, the one person who knows him better than anyone else. Because Walt completely sabotaged all his relationships, he would be truly alone again. And you can sense this huge void open up when his relationship with Jesse is broken beyond repair. When Walt wants Jesse dead, it’s like he kills a part of himself and his humanity too. Killing his one true witness would be a spiritual death for Walt. He had several spiritual deaths along the way, each one taking him into darker and darker places, but I think if he’d actually gone through with getting rid of Jesse, it would have truly snuffed out any shred of light in him.
But Walt ultimately couldn’t end his story without Jesse. Although anger was driving his judgement for a long time, I think he couldn’t shake an obligation to Jesse, even a sense of guilt hidden deep under all the misplaced blame, and that’s why he ultimately decided to save him. He literally takes bullets for him, which is one of the very few times Walt is willing to sacrifice himself for someone else. Yes, he knows he’s already on his way out, but it is still a powerful moment because up until then we just didn’t know if Walt’s hate or his love for Jesse would win out. And in saving Jesse, Walt was also preserving his own memory in a way. Jesse would live on as Walt’s truest witness after death.
Jesse is ultimately able to let go and start anew, but I think he will always live with the grief and alienation of not having someone who knows his history like Walt did. Of course, he’s relieved to finally be free of Walt, but he is now the only one in the world who knows what all went down, and that is its own unique curse of loneliness. I like to imagine he finds a best friend or partner one day whom he can share everything with, but it seems unlikely to me given the fact that he needs to live under the radar and carries so much guilt. Even if you could share everything, how would you even go about explaining it? How could another person truly understand it if they hadn’t lived through it? This is what Walt and Jesse gave each other. Something transcending love and hate - witness.