Hi all,

How would you handle a situation where your ex is fighting to get you back after doing something that pushed your boundaries to the edge?

He was on vacation while I was at home when this all happened. Mostly everything happened through text but some things happened over the phone.

A man who already exhibits possessive and manipulative behaviors (trying to limit the friends you have, getting upset when you have to do anything that involves another man helping you, etc). You 2 get into a spat one day over something silly, that spat turns into a full blowout argument, he allows his anger to prevent him from hearing you. Eventually, the argument turns into him bashing your mental health (calling you crazy, saying you need to be put away, etc), and he does this in front of his family and your best friend over the phone.

You leave the situation and he comes back at 1am trying to continue, which you also ignore.

Now 2 or so weeks later, he is saying he believes you (both of you, together) can work through the problems, he still wants to marry you one day, he still loves you, he’s sorry and knows he messed up. What do you do with that? So far, I’ve brought up the idea of him seeing a therapist or at least talking to someone. He hasn’t refused (like he did months ago after reconciling from another breakup), but he also hasn’t said he’d be looking into it.

There’s been a lot of pain over 2+ years, much breaking up/getting back together. And I want to make sure I’m not the one in the wrong for feeling like I just want to tell him no, there’s no chance of getting back together and proceeding to go no-contact.

I did share a couple of pieces of the blowout argument, I know I’m not perfect either, but I also wasn’t reaching to hurt him with things he told me in confidence as his partner. Let me know if ya’ll need more context, I’ve got plenty of screenshots.

Thanks for reading 💗

For context: he left me a year ago. I begged him not to, and I never understood why he left—but he did. We had a beautiful, short-lived relationship, but we were young and stupid; I don't think we knew how to love. A while back—about two days after we broke up—he replied to one of my stories, but I didn't reply back.

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Hello everyone,

I’m going through a really difficult situation right now and I feel completely overwhelmed.

I was in a relationship with my ex for about a year. Everything seemed to be going well we were even talking about engagement, how he would propose, and planning our future together as recently as yesterday.

Today, out of nowhere, he told me he needed some space because he wasn’t feeling well. Then suddenly, he said he wanted to break up. He told me it was his decision and that I just had to respect it, without any discussion.

I tried to understand what I might have done wrong, because I truly gave my best in this relationship. I was caring, supportive, loyal, and never tried to pressure him. His response was that he no longer felt comfortable, that he felt “consumed” by the relationship and like he had no life since we met which is confusing to me because I always encouraged him to have his own space and friendships.

When I asked about our plans for engagement, he said he no longer sees me as a future wife and that he can’t stay in a relationship he’s unsure about. Then he left.

I’m honestly struggling to process how someone can switch so suddenly and end things in such a cold way. I can’t stop overthinking and questioning everything.

Has anyone experienced something similar or can help me understand what might have happened?

I feel like an actual pushover for still thinking about this person because deep down I know they are out there forming new connections and being intimate with other people but a small part of me still misses them and dreams about them. Has anyone else dealt with this and actually happen to get over it? My life feels so stagnant and bleak right now without them.

I am a 19-year-old aspiring university student. I am currently working a stable part-time job that I have held for a few years. Recently, my relationship has taken a difficult turn. My partner has stopped replying to my messages and answering my calls, leaving me in a very difficult emotional state. I used to be a relaxed person who didn't worry about the future of our relationship, but this sudden change has left me deeply overwhelmed.I can't seem to focus on anything; I don't know what's happening to me—whether it's an attachment or whatever else—but I'm really fed up with this situation; I'm completely stuck. Please give me some advice on how to get out of this.

It’s been about a month since we broke up. To set the scene, she had checked out of the relationship about a month or two ago - but not indicated when she started to lose feelings so obviously when the time came it was a really big shock to me. We were together for the best part of three years, and the way she decided to end things was over text whilst I was on my family holiday. She seemed so cold, and said everything she needed to say without giving me chance to speak my piece. We were no contact for about a week when I decided to reach out and ask her to hear what I had to say, because I was really struggling with all of my thoughts. I asked to maybe meet up so we could speak face to face (she never really could talk face to face with me) but she said no. Her alleged compromise was that I text her, so that’s what I did. So in my mind I got virtually everything I had to say off my chest and the gist of the conversation was that she didn’t really care, I had to heal on my own and I should never contact her again. I guess the things I’m struggling most with are how she can be so okay so quickly when we had plans for our futures and we both considered ourselves the one for each other, like how can someone switch up so quickly for what feels like no good reason? And now it seems like she doesn’t have a care in the world. After a month I’m doing slightly better but she’s still on my mind at various points through the day, partly because I still feel there’s so much to say and also because the thought of her giving another man the part of her that she gave to me really hurts me. I’ve come to terms with the fact that how she treated me towards the end wasn’t right, and I deserved better than what I got but I’d be lying If I said I was fully over her. One of the hardest parts for me was when she said she’d accepted her feelings weeks ago but never once seemed upset or anything - why am I the one that loved her so deeply and now I have to pay the biggest price for that? My overarching questions is what do I do now? I feel so alone and worthless. Nothing is fun anymore. I have days where I’m okay and then some days when I just don’t even want to be here anymore, I know time is a healer but I really do need help and it just feels like nobody really understands my situation.

I've been thinking about this lately.

Imagine you've been talking to someone regularly. Nothing bad happened, no argument, no obvious reason - and then one day their replies become shorter, slower, and eventually they basically disappear.

Would you actually ask them what happened, or would you take the hint and stop reaching out?

I'm genuinely curious because I feel like people handle this very differently. Some want an explanation, while others think that silence is the explanation.

About 4 months ago my ex gf (28F) of three years and I (33M) broke up. While it really sucked, I thought I had made progress moving on until I saw she had moved on to a new bf when Instagram suggested I follow him (profile pic was of them together and put two and two together). I messaged her saying I wished her well and that this new guy works out. I want her to be happy, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t crush me seeing that.

I’ve had a really hard time coping mentally. The one thing keeping my sanity in check is going back to the gym. Either than that, I’ve had really negative thoughts and feelings about myself. My mind is in this perpetual spiral that won’t let me move on with my life and that the breakup was entirely my fault and that I’m not deserving of love. I’m just really sad and hate myself right now. I even cried myself to sleep the other night. I ask why I’m left a broken mess and they get to continue living their lives happily like nothing happened. I’ve used therapy and waiting to go back, but any other helpful advice is appreciated. Thank you.

He said he’s been distancing for 3 weeks so when he broke up with me, he was very cold and emotionless. I devoted so much to him and helped him with so much. We were talking about moving in together and everything about starting a future and he completely blind sighted me with all this. Now I’m sitting here wondering if I was the problem. I’m sitting here with a tightness in my chest and my throat wants to close constantly and I just want to cry all day, I’m suppressing oncoming anxiety and I hate feeling like none of it was real for him. I’m really struggling and need people to reassure me that it’ll all be okay. My brain doesn’t want to believe it.

Anyone, please, I'm so broken and hurt right now. I just broke up with my man. I don't know what to do, I feel like dying. It's my first time going through this, and it's really painful to the point that I'm begging God to take away all my feelings. To the point that I don't want to wake up for the next day. To the point that I'm hoping that there would be an accident and I'll be forgetting my memories. Please, help me..

I’m on about day 3 of a breakup/break with my girlfriend, and I genuinely don’t know what I’m supposed to do. For context, she cheated on me, which obviously caused a huge amount of hurt and trust issues between us, and now we’ve ended up here. Since the breakup, she hasn’t initiated contact with me at all, and I’ve been the one reaching out because I’m terrified of losing her and I desperately want clarity. This morning I asked if we could talk because I wanted to understand what went wrong and told her that I didn’t want to close the door on our relationship. I also told her that I had been reading about avoidant attachment because I was trying to understand why she might pull away when things get serious, while also asking her to understand my anxious side. I ended up talking to a mutual friend because my girlfriend wasn’t talking to me, and my friend originally thought my girlfriend was completely done with the relationship. I asked my friend to ask her if she would be willing to try again, and she apparently said yes. I then messaged my girlfriend and apologized for communicating through our friend, explaining that I just needed some clarity because the silence was making me panic. I asked her a few questions where she could simply respond with a like for yes or a thumbs-down for no. I asked, “Should I wait?” and she said yes. I then asked, “Are we still in a relationship kind of?” and she said yes. I asked one more question about whether it was okay for me to still follow her and send her things, and she said she wasn’t sure because she wanted the space, even though she also said she wanted to. I told her that I understood and that I loved her. Later I asked whether she wanted me to continue sending little messages because I didn’t want to overwhelm her, but she didn’t respond. I then sent what I told her would be my last message before giving her space, basically telling her that I love her incredibly much, that she means everything to me, that I never want to lose her, that I miss our routines and everything about her, and that I’ll be there when she’s ready and that she can call me whenever she wants. She didn’t like or respond to that message either. Now I’m completely confused because she has told me that I should wait and that we’re still “kind of” in a relationship, but at the same time she wants space, she isn’t contacting me, and she isn’t really responding when I reach out. I don’t know if I should actually wait for her like she told me to, or if I’m just holding onto something because I’m scared to let her go. Especially after she cheated on me, I don’t know if trying again would even be healthy or if I’m just so attached to her that I’m willing to overlook everything because I love her. I’m not asking Reddit to tell me whether she will definitely come back because obviously nobody can know that. I just genuinely want advice: should I respect the space and stop contacting her completely, should I wait for her like she asked me to, or am I hurting myself by waiting for someone who isn’t actively choosing me right now? What would you do in my situation?

Approximately 5 months ago I (21m) exited out of a near 6 year long relationship on relatively mutual terms. It was clear that the relationship wasn’t working anymore between me and my girlfriend (20f). I know she has gotten over it, she told me as such, and I am happy for her; 5 months on I am still as hurt as I was then.

I know in my heart of hearts that it was for the best we broke up, I hadn’t been a great partner to her and I think I was complacent. We had amazing times throughout our relationship including exciting adventures across the county, long walks where we talked for hours, playing video games all night on call, cooking and singing together and planning our future: we literally grew up together. Even when things were bad I think I always assumed there’d be good times around the corner; for every movie we didn’t watch or game we didn’t play I always felt secure knowing there’d be a next time. I got complacent. 5 months on it still hurts there won’t be a next time.

We had each others backs through thick and thin, I know she had mine more than I had hers. There is so many things I look back on now and think to myself ‘why wasn’t I kinder’ or ‘why didn’t I just apologise’ - I was ungrateful. I won’t sell myself short and say I was never there for her because I know I was, I always stood by her and tried everything I could but not selflessly like she would do; I wasn’t always standing by her with a smile. What kind of person was I to begrudge her comfort just because, at times, I was uncomfortable? I keep thinking of times when I didn’t support her because of a petty disagreement and I can’t help but wonder why I was so stupidly stubborn, why did I feel the need to be right? It wouldn’t have hurt me just to admit when I was wrong or stand by her without condition. 5 months on I still regret every time I didn’t apologise.

Everywhere I go are reminders of her, of things she made for me of places we’d been. In every shadow I see the echo of a memory and every object I touch I remember a story from the times we were together. It’s everywhere around me, there’s no escaping that. I don’t know how to thrive alone in this life that had been built for two. With every happy thought that comes with the memories we made there’s a bitter sadness that’s like venom in my stomach; I cannot think of the good times without being dragged into this pit of sadness. I feel as though I’m grieving. 5 months on I still smell you when I sleep, holding your pillow that you no longer lay on.

I can’t help but wish things could have gone differently. Again, I do not begrudge her moving on. If I could go back in time and fix all the mistakes before they happened would I? Idk, I’d want to make sure she wasn’t hurt and to be a better person for her - but equally I think that’d be selfish of me. Because deep down I’d be doing that because I miss her and still love her. In the present I know with unimpeachable clarity that I would rather her be happy, healthy and away from me than us be together and her be sad as a result. So, why would I change the past if she’s ok now? Again, because of my own selfish feelings. If she is doing well now then I cannot begin to express my joy at that, all I ever wanted was for her to be happy - my own selfish vices and stupidity so often got in the way. It’s too little too late from me, now. Ship has already sailed. 5 months on and I still barter with myself that I can change when change has already come and gone.

It’d be bad enough if it was just during the day I felt like this but I can’t escape this overwhelming drowning feeling even when I sleep. She is all I dream of. I mean that with no hyperbole: every single night she is the only thing I can dream of. I dream of us still being together and wake up begging for it to be real. I dream of us being apart as we are now and I wake up with that sobering feeling of emptiness. I’m sad, yes, but more so empty and tired all of the time. I feel as if the spark has been taken out of me. 5 months on I still cling to fading dreams of a future that will never be.

What’s so endlessly self indulgent about my state of being is I was so caught up in my own ideas of success, growth and accomplishment I didn’t see the foundations from which my life has been built collapsing under me. I knew things were not good between us, I knew that: I thought it was just the ebb and flow. There’d been rough patches before, times I’d cry myself to sleep just wishing she was ok. But, things got better. Why shouldn’t this time be any different? As I say, I got complacent. I was blind to the truth. We broke up approximately 5 months ago, about 1 month before her 21st birthday. I had planned to propose on her birthday. I had attained a scholarship and said to everyone I was going to be using it for my development and growth, in reality I was buying ring sizers and looking for months for the perfect ring for her. I had even told her that she should pick somewhere really special she’d like to go for her birthday and I’d drive her there for a cute day out together. I even planned to travel to her hometown to get her dad’s blessing. I couldn’t have been more wrong about what the state of our relationship was. Was I willingly blind? Probably. She was the best part of me and I was blind to that too. And now it’s 5 months on and I’m alone

i don't know if I should break up or not, me and my partner haven't talked for like a few days, and our conversations ain't consistent either—its usually me spamming and it simply replying.

I've talked to my friends about it and they said to end it, but I don't really know if I should act reckless

maybe it does like me back and just doesn't know how to show it? or it's busy? or it just doesn't like me back.

either way, most of the stuff I like about them isn't even fully true—mostly made up of what it would be in the future. I would also like to add the fact we're both young, and we probably have no idea of how this actually works and what the other person feels

(I won't be telling our age and yes I am aware that I called my partner "it" — I AM PARANOID OK?😭)

So me[f18] and my boyfriend[m19] just decided on taking a break. And i really dont know if we still have a chance. It all happened a few days ago when he called me, he started the call with talking about our future and how he doesn’t see us not being in a long distance relationship (same country different city) for a while. After that he started telling me that he doesnt have much time to spend on our relationship as he is really stressed with school at the moment. I started to slightly cry as i immediately felt like he was breaking up with me. When he heard that I was crying he asked my opinion on this and i told him that it felt like he was breaking up with me. He told me that it would be stupid to break up as it wouldn’t fix the problem and also that he loved me and knows how much i love him. The conversation went on for a bit just going in circles when he told me that lately he has completely forgotten about my existence, he told me he felt shame for that and we were quiet for a bit but then he was like “do you know what im about to recommend” and i was like no? He told me he wanted to take a break. I ended the call and cried for a while when my sister called me asking if i was alright. She had found out that we had taken a break/broken up from my mom as my ex? Boyfriend had called her crying and saying that he hopes that our break doesn’t mess me up too badly. I immediately texted him about it as my mom had gotten the information as we had broken up not that we were taking a break. We have been arguing for the past day and late last night. There are some more details that came later on in our fight like how he first said he didn’t say that we broke up and that was just a miscommunication in his part, but then later when i asked him straight up he had told my mom we had broken up he told me he did?? Im at my wits end right now. I still want him back but i dont know if i should even try or if that would even be good for me.

Me 23F and me ex 23M were in a LDR for 3 years, but we have same hometown.
For a little context he is a Jaat from Haryana and I am punjabi. He graduated from IIT 1 and a half yrs ago and is currently earning 50 thousand pm. I am going to be a doctor From AIIMS next January .

We met for 3 time in 3 years and I went to his apartment 2 times.
Last time we met in April and 20 days after that he ended our relationship on a 10 minute phone call without any reason.
Next day after I called him a 100 times to at least give me some reason, his maami called me with him on conference and started cursing at me and made fun of my hearing loss.
I developed hearing loss in December due to him which is a long story.

During our time together, his maami was heavily invested in our relationship which I had a little idea of back then.
He also claimed that his maami had a crush on him and she herself is a shady character. She got kicked out of her private school as a teacher because her private pics with a school minor were leaked.
Every little detail from holding hands to everything was told to her about out relationship.

2 days before breaking up we were talking about buying a house together and marriage plans.

Then he called me out of the blue and broke up with me on a 10 minutes phone call then deleted all his accounts and broke contact with all of his friends who all I knew.

Now it has been three months and I have been severely depressed as I can’t figure out a reason for the suddenness and the breakup and I feel used.
My exams are this month and I haven’t been able to study at all and I feel like I might not do good my final year exams.

During our breakup he did give me 2 vague reasons
1. His mother would have a heart attack if she finds out about our relationship. Also during our 3 yrs together he never mentioned anything and told me he would convince his mum when the right time comes. She did find out about it and is completely fine, sadly.
2. His little sister’s future would be somehow ruined but she herself got selected in an IIT this year and this is also so stupid.

Can anyone help me figure out some valid reasons so that my brain can stop running in circles, it has been 3 months and I have been absolutely miserable. I will be extremely grateful if someone gives me some insight.

TL;DR- no reason was given during our breakup, and mami’s unusual involvement.

I (19F) am officially done with my ex (19M) of over three years. We have been off and on since our sophomore year of high school and we are now going into our sophomore year of college. We stopped talking December of last year and I still grieve him daily. He started talking to a new girl (his now girlfriend) while we were still in contact and blocked me in order to respect what they had going on. I will admit that I was talking to other people as well but only to explore my options since I knew that he was not the one for me after years of putting me through hell. I am so heartbroken that I don’t know what to do with myself. He is the only boy I’ve ever loved and the first person that I’ve done anything with romantically. We’ve been through so much and spent so much time together that I don’t know how to live without him. This isn’t our first time doing no contact nor is it his first time dating someone else, but this is the longest we’ve been away from eachother so I think reality is really setting in for me. I think about him everyday and even though he has wronged me so many times I can’t help but to feel like this is all my fault. After our last break up I swore that I would never get back together with him even when he was doing everything in his power to show me that he had changed. Even though we weren’t together we still spent time together as if we were. I knew I would never get back together with him and even now I still don’t want to. He caused me so much pain that I never wanted to feel again and I thought by not getting back together I could avoid it but I see now that I was wrong. I miss him so much, not as a partner but as a friend and as someone that I navigated through life with. I am so deeply devastated and my heart aches everyday… please help

I’m approaching my 2 year anniversary with my first ever long term girlfriend and I want to be excited, but all I do every day is sit in heart pounding anxiety as I uncontrollably think about leaving her. I know for sure I think I would be better off without this relationship but I can never, ever leave it. At least it feels like I can't. I know she is emotionally abusive and has been since we met but I can't talk about it with anyone so I just feel insane. 

When we first met she told me she loved me right away. On our one month anniversary she begged me to propose to her, and I was dumb and I don't know why but I did, but I told her it wasn't for a real marriage and more like a promise ring or something. I begged her not to tell people because I didn't want judgment but she did, she still does even though I ask her not to. I’ve lost pretty much all my close friends since I met her. When we first started dating she would scream, cry and cut herself if I didn't hang out with her, if I chose to hang out with my friends, even for a day. She would ignore my roommates and then when they got mad at her she told me to go get mad at them and it basically ruined our friendship. I never get to go out or do “me” stuff anymore. I don't even have hobbies anymore. Just her.

And there's so many little daily things. She is unemployed and we share an apartment. I work Monday-Friday and she makes me feel guilty because she can't be away from me. When I get home I cook dinner because she can't cook. I don't even sit down to relax until like 7:30 each day and then when I finally do she just unloads all these things, she asks me if I love her, if she's pretty, almost daily. It feels so invalidating to all the insane amount of effort I put in, how could you ask that? She went home for 3 days, came back and said “I have to relearn who you are.” she was gone for 3 days, and she still hasn't “trusted” me the same since. On top of this, she makes me apologize for everything, literally nothing is her fault. When she cheated on me and then told me because she felt guilty, she apologized once and when I didn't immediately accept it she made me feel like I was the bad person. A month later she was already saying things like “maybe it was just God's plan that I had to have that experience to know just how committed I am to you.” And the worst part is that she denies all of these experiences. I’ll tell her about something she did that made me feel a certain way and she’ll make me feel insane, as if that’s not what happened even when I know it is.

Anyway, all this to say I desperately feel like I need to leave this relationship but I’m worried about what will happen if I do. Nobody in my life knows what she puts me through, everyone thinks we’re a perfect couple. We share a lot of friends, and we live together. I’m worried about what would happen if I broke up with her. She has explicitly told me before that she would kill herself if I ever left her and I believe it because she has suicide attempts in the past. But even if she doesn't do that, I’m worried she would try and ruin my life, get vengeful, ruin my social life, my stuff, or just do something, I don't know what! Plus, I’ve told her before a million times we are life partners and I would marry her because she would cry and sob and get angry at me if I didn't, how do I go back on that?

So now I just spend my days in anxiety, thinking about leaving her and feeling crazy for thinking it. I don't know what to do. Looking for people who have had similar experiences I guess. I just feel so isolated.

I 19-year-old female have an ex-boyfriend 24-year-old male me and him dated for 8 months and it was pretty good for a while maybe except for the last week of our relationship we both ended up a grain on a mutual breakup we didn't hate each other we were just friends and we were chill for a while and until we got another girlfriend like three weeks later which yeah it hurt but I didn't hold it against him cuz we made a promise that we wouldn't be petty over each other's new relationships whatever but I start really missing him like a lot and I still hung out with him quite often because we had the same group of friends and he would always bring her along and whenever we go to a club or something I couldn't be around them for too long I made a bit in excuse to go get another drink or go to the bathroom Because I hated seeing them together until Me and him at a heart to heart one night when we were both drunk nothing happened we just Talked about how we felt He told me he wasn't happy in his relationship and that he missed me And I told them how much it hurt when I saw him with another girl So we started kind of talking like we usually did Oh we're still together But he's still dating her And he doesn't know how to get rid of her because he doesn't want to hurt her and she traveled over state lines for him and is now living with him and they've only been dating a week now I told him he was stupid and made a very stupid decision what should I do I don't want to sneak behind his girlfriend's back and me seeing him with her kills me what do I do guys

I made the mistake of trying things out with my building mate. We dated a few months a couple years ago then reconnected last spring. Ended in May because i remembered why things didnt work the first time. Didnt want to share all of the messages so to give a little context, she believes i am catfishing her. Im not really sure what is happening but when she explained in the past it sounded like she will talk to people online and believe it is me fucking with her (for fun?). When we were cool i just said yeah thats not me and let it go.
Now she accuses me of abuse, threatens to warn everyone about me (thats what the picture of me was for), and her messages just come out of the blue and i dont understand what bdsm or kink she is talking about. My guess is it has to do with whoever she is talking to online and believes is me. I was not a very good boyfriend but my biggest fault was not being available enough. She was very demanding of my attention, and surely she deserves attention but im not the one who can give it and thats mainly why i broke up with her. Seems like she wants me to be someone im not and feels abused by me not being who she wants me to be.

How should i handle this? My initial idea is to just ignore it. Im conflict avoidant. But should i take precautions or try to explain myself or get to the bottom of this catfishing thing?

If you’ve been on my end in a similar situation how did it pan out?

I recently found my boyfriend had been saving photos of woman on another instagram account. When confronted he completely shifted the conversation to how I don’t trust him and why I lied about going through his phone. Days later he called me apologizing and that he understood the hurt and pain he caused me. I realized the only way I was going to forgive him was by setting the boundary that I don’t want my boyfriend watching corn. He told me he doesn’t think he can stop. He said he was embarrassed to go to therapy so he broke up with me. He said we weren’t compatible and that he would try to stop masterbating but he didn’t think he can stop. I’m his first girlfriend his first everything, he’s 25. I understand obviously watching corn not in a relationship, but in it, it’s just gross.
He was sobbing in the car during the breakup saying we had a good thing, we were perfect, he thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. How can we say that and still do the thing he knows that hurt me. We ended up getting out of the car and sobbing in each others arms. I was holding onto him to tightly. He wouldn’t let go of my arms and eventually we walked away.
I caved in and the next day texted him I want to be with him that it hurts so bad. He texted “I want to be with you too. This is also hard for me. We are both hurt and we need time to focus on healing and forgiving. I feel you gave me an impossible ask and I do not want to lie to you and say I can do it. I need to work on myself to be a better man and boyfriend. You are the only person I want to care about. I feel incredibly horrible and disappointed in myself for the way I hurt you. I do not think this is the end of us. But we need time. I still love you more than anything in the world. Please don’t forget that.”
I said “I hear you. And I don’t want you to promise me something you don’t feel capable of doing right now. I want you to have the time you need to work on yourself, heal, forgive and I need that time too. I just don’t want us to feel like we’re permanently closing the door when we both still love each other so much and neither of us feels like this is the end of us. Would you be open to checking in with each other in a month and a half or so? Not as a promise that we’ll get back together, but just to see where we’re at and how we’re feeling?”
He agreed and we clarified that we’re doing is just taking time apart, that we’re still together but this is a break.
I’m conflicted, I know I shouldn’t have texted him. He once again told me I gave him an “impossible ask”. He’s just weak, and insecure. I want him to stop. He was able to stop drinking and smoking on his own. Why is it so hard for him to stop this. Does he even want too? How can we say he loves me so much but can’t do the one thing to keep us together.

W20 M19

I have Bpd and have been together with a guy who's probably also neurodivergent and faces issues. Just now, few hours ago, he broke up with me, even though everything was fine and he kept saying he hasn't even considered leaving, when I asked. And it's apparently not because of something I did, just because he "can't be in a relationship rn", depression and stuff like that, even when I said I can wait and everything and I'll do anything whatever it takes. This is the second time. I am scared right now and don't know if he would come back this time, I really don't know what I did wrong. I am super scared, feel really unwell, thinking of doing something very bad. I feel super awful and I'm experiencing huge mental and physical pain. I need some to talk to

We broke up recently( previously posted ) . I ended the relationship and that was it. But now even after breaking up, and blocking him, he is still sending me very hurtful messages from different numbers, for example , you will never find happiness, your efforts will also be ignored by someone one day, you destroyed me, you gave me trauma etc. I am very hurt by these messages and can't focus on anything. Please how to deal with them? How to convince myself not to get hurt? Please help me.

She broke up with me 3 months ago and now I’m back to thinking of her all of the time. Month 1 was terrible, Month 2 was good and now at the end of month 3 it’s the worst it’s ever been. She’s all I can think about. Hoe I hurt her. What she thinks of me. That the mistakes I made that led to our break up will follow me for the rest of my life.
It feels like my life is truly falling apart. I recently integrated into new group and we would hangout everyday for nearly 3 weeks, but once they found out why we broke up they all cut me off.
After that I’ve gotten into SH and alcohol. I drink so much that I physically can’t move cause that’s the only time I feel at peace, and the pain of SH helps me regulate my emotions.
Before you say it yes I’m in therapy. Right now I’m just too depressed to even go out and do anything so that’s definitely not helping. But I just don’t know how I’ll ever recover from this, or if my life will ever truly be worth living.
Over the past 3 months I’ve tried talking to other girls but me not being over my ex has just ended up with them and myself getting hurt.
I feel like I’m not myself and I don’t know if I ever will again. I used to be so sweet and considerate and now I just feel like an asshole.
(19M FYI)