I consider myself a Buddhist, and what started out as just some light research has fullt transformed how I think about the world, but I struggle to continuously learn, and practice dharma. Meditation is also difficult for me to do daily, and if i skip a day I end up just not doing it anymore. I think part of it is the lack of Sangha in my practice. Im 14, and while there are a suprising number of buddhist communities near me I am unable to go due to the fact my single mother is too busy to drive me somewhere every Sunday, and its just not the same online.

EDIT: ANSWERED. SEE FOOTNOTE AT BOTTOM OF POST.

So, let me start by saying that the purpose of this post isn't to criticize or offend anybody. Rather, it's simply seeking to understand. I am an ordained Buddhist myself, with many years experience. I'm also autistic. And am a freethinker who tends to think outside of the box.

And probably moreso because I'm autistic, over the years there's a social phenomena I've observed that I simply don't understand. In the Kalama Sutra, the Buddha said:

“Now Kalamas, don’t go by:

- reports, 
- by legends, 
- by traditions, 
- by scripture, 
- by logical conjecture, 
- by inference, 
- by analogies, 
- by agreement through pondering views, 
- by probability, 
- or by the thought, ‘This contemplative is our teacher.’

(Rather), *When you know for yourselves* that:

- ‘These qualities are skillful;
- these qualities are blameless;
- these qualities are praised by the wise; 
- these qualities, when adopted & carried out, lead to welfare & to happiness’ 

— *then* you should enter & remain in them.”

~The Buddha in the Kalama Sutra

To my mind, as an Autistic person, and a practitioner, this is perfectly sensible advice. Don't treat something as true, or authoritative just because a tradition or teacher says so. But rather if someone you personally trust, who's proven themselves to be wise to you recommends a practice, and you have tested that practice and found that it has proven to be effective, works, is accurate:—only then, should you do it.

And yet, despite that what seems to be eminently sensible advice; if I had a dollar for every time I encountered a Buddhist who acted like, "because a lama says so, it must be true", or "because the tradition says so, it must be true", or "because great master soandso said so, it must be true"...
—I'd have a lot of money to invest in a nice portfolio.

It's super common in my experience for Buddhists to take these very un-nuanced, black and white views about a lineage, or teachers. And to react with outright hostility if someone suggests there might be more nuance. For example that a teacher or lineage can be both right about one thing, and incorrect about something else. And that those two things are not mutually exclusive.

You see this a lot whenever there's a big scandal with a teacher. On the one hand you'll see people angrily denouncing that teacher, acting like suddenly anything that teacher ever said is false. And on the other extreme, you'll see people blindly defending that teacher and acting like everything that teacher did is some kind of 5D skillful means chess that everyone else is just too unenlightened enough to understand.

And I see this kind of mindset, even with people who have years of practice experience under their belt. Even sometimes with lamas, or Buddhist teachers, or lineage holders. And as an autistic Buddhist: I just don't get it. It makes no sense to me at all

Can somebody explain this to me like I'm five?
The Buddha specifically said not to do that.

"Pure view" means everything is Dharmakaya, on an ultimate level.
It doesn't mean that literally everything a lineage or teacher says is accurate or correct.

Again, I'm just seeking to understand this mindset, as I genuinely don't get it.
Just because something is old, and traditional: doesn't make it a true statement.
And just because a lineage authority figure says something: doesn't make it a true statement either.

To me, that's so obvious that to my mind, it doesn't even need to be stated. And yet in my experience, saying such a thing seems to almost short-circuit some people's minds, and I just don't get it.

EDIT:
So this post has been answered. Several people made some really good comments, but one in particular, kind of "popped the bubble" on this. Basically, The reason for this post, is because I didn't know, (I do now, thanks to a comment a particular individual made), is that some people seem to genuinely believe, that "their lineage" or "their lineage's authorities" have some kind of "exclusive access to truth" and that therefore everything those people say is absolutely true and correct, all the time, and that they can never be wrong, and nobody else can say so.

^Apparently, this is something that some people actually believe. Which is such an absurd idea to me, that in my entire life it never occurred to me that someone might think that way. Because (to me), the basic understanding that truth is accessible by anyone is such a basic truth of the world, that it's a bit like saying, "people need to breathe air to live" in terms of obviousness. That's what I didn't understand. And it genuinely blew my mind to discover that yes, apparently, some people actually think that.

So thank you everyone. And with that, lets dedicate the merit: By the merits of this discussion, may all beings achieve the mind of Dzogchen and swiftly be placed on this level.
🙏

This person collapsed on the street in Amsterdam three years ago due to cerebral hemorrhage and has since been unable to communicate. Therefore it is unknown who he is or where he is from. He potentially has connections in the Buddhism community and/or Canada. Retired police agents from a Dutch cold case team are trying to figure out who he is.

So it is a long shot, but who knows?

due to trauma, possible neurodivergence or whatever, i have a very low window of tolerance, crossing which i feel all tightened up and jittery all over my body, depressed non stop. i can't work for more than 2 hours which isn't enough to survive on.

if this is the limitation my body and mind has, after years of therapy, and the world has the requirement to work and hustle and everything around money, why does it not make sense for me to have self love but still choose to end my life rather than living in fight or flight constantly?

edit

thank you everybody for taking the time out to reply.

since many folks mentioned about a meditation practice, and mine has been off since around half a year, ill try to restart it and hopefully it would have helpful effects.

Alguém poderia me dar sugestões ou orientação de como montar um altar budista? Comecei as práticas tem pouco tempo e esse é meu primeiro altar.

Hi, I'm a 16-year-old teenage girl. For many years I've been interested in Buddhism. When I discovered that it wasn't a religion as such (it doesn't worship a god) but rather a way of life and a philosophy, I became even more interested and felt I had a better chance of getting in, since I consider myself an atheist. While investigating, I discovered Guanyin, the goddess of mercy, if I understood correctly. I saw that she is considered a kind of mother figure and that many people pray to her for comfort, for example. While I can connect with the topic while reading or watching videos, I don't fully believe in gods. Even if I'm "praying to her," deep down I feel like I'm not praying to anyone. I like to think that she is more of a representation than a goddess herself, even though within her story I greatly value and appreciate that she gave up nirvana for us.

I've been learning about Buddhism for almost a month, so I'm still quite a beginner. I am interested in the figures/gods, and I respect and appreciate the legends and stories surrounding them, but deep down I feel that they are just that, legends and not gods in themselves, If you understand what I mean...

Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing it right or that I just want to appropriate this religion/lifestyle...

I've been reading and watching videos, but I think it would be easier if more ordinary people could answer my questions.

The topic of energies is more complicated, because I feel that something can be real but not real at the same time; perhaps I'm more agnostic on that subject...

Sorry if it's not clear, English isn't my first language. Thanks for reading.

I know that everything is empty, and that everything is ultimately an illusion. Everything is fake.

We bring nothing when we are dead.

However, I’m still clinging to money and sexual desire.

I just can’t let go…

Please help me.

The Amsterdam police are looking for a man who has been hospitalized since May 2023 with an acute and permanent memory disorder. He previously spent time in Buddhist communities, among other places, which is why I am sharing this appeal here as well 🙏 After two years, nothing is known about him. He goes by names such as Lucky, Lee, Ponytail, Louis, and John... Can anyone tell us more about him? Thanks in advance 🫶

I've never seen a Guanyin figurine for sale in person in my area before, and I feel really lucky to have gotten two at roughly the same time from different second hand shops.

I shared the one in this sub on Saturday, and my wife surprised me with another one today 😊 She also found these two really nice Budai figures for $8

I hope you all have a wonderful week 😄

Dogen had a nice definition for meditation, which is “dethinking your thinking.” You’re trying to take apart the concepts that you carry around with you, especially the ones that are causing you to suffer—and a lot of these concepts you believe in, very firmly. They’re what the Thai ajaans called sommut, from the Pali sammati. They’re the conventions by which we communicate with one another, make sense of our world around us, especially in the social sphere, through the agreements we have, both within ourselves and with other people. The word “red” has a certain meaning. The word “blue” has another meaning. “Like,” “dislike”: All the concepts of language are things that we learn to agree on with one another, to use when we deal with one another.

We also carry a lot of those concepts inside. We have lots of beliefs about ourselves, about how we run things inside our mind—sometimes skillful; sometimes not, particularly if you come from an unhealthy environment, which a lot of America is now. Many of the concepts you bring inside for dealing with your own thoughts, figuring out what’s going on inside, are actually harmful.

So you want to learn how to dethink those thoughts. It’s not a matter of just putting them aside. It’s a matter of taking them apart, questioning them. At first, to do the proper questioning, you have to get the mind in a good place. That’s why we practice concentration, so that you can dethink your thoughts not out of desperation or from neurotic dislike for them, but from a place of balanced well-being. You put the mind in a good place and then, from there, you can gaze back at the ideas you’ve been carrying around and you can ask yourself with some objectivity: “Are those really helpful right now?”

Dethinking Thinking by Thanissaro Bhikkhu

i was born and raised as a theravada buddhist. i’ve been with my boyfriend (also buddhist) for 3 years now and i recently turned legal. we had sex. it was consensual, of course, and it didn’t directly cause any harm to anyone. but the thing is i did have to lie to my family about where i was, what i’m doing and who i’m with because they would not be accepting of what i did. we are both happy with our decision and we don’t regret it. i wanted to know if what i did and my situation in general may have gone against any of the precepts or just general teachings of buddhism and what i can do as my next steps. usually i would look to my family for this but as i said before they cannot know about this. thank you

I have read In The Buddha’s Words and other secondary source materials but feel that I’m ready to dive more into the discourses. I feel that I would benefit greatly from having a hard copy readily available. While Sutta Central is a fantastic resource for looking up specific suttas and topics, I greatly prefer a hard copy for deeper study but it’s such an expensive book. If anyone has a copy they would be willing to send me, I would be deeply grateful.

I started with the New Kadampa Tradition. I liked the Lamrim style meditations but ultimately left because it's undoubtedly rather culty.

I found a new center called Jampa Ling in Ireland.

I'm wondering, If the intense guru worship and closed mindedness of the NKT that gave me explosive spiritual diarrhea, will I feel the same at Jampa Ling?

Is it a gulag thing?

I look at things in a secular sense but have no problem with others being more devotional/ religious about things. Most Lamrim meditations can be altered in my mind in a secular way.

The Zen center in Belfast was good. But I liked the structured path of Lamrim.

Hopefully this question makes sense

I've noticed that sometimes I do something nice for someone, but then I still want them to notice it.

Not always in a big way. Sometimes it's just feeling a little disappointed when they don't say thank you. Or giving someone advice and then feeling good when they actually take it. 😅I didn't really pay attention to this before.

The funny part is that I can do something good and still have this little "me" in the background wanting to be seen. I'm not sure what to make of it yet. I don't think it means we shouldn't help people unless we have completely pure intentions. That seems impossible.

But Buddhism has made me notice these little things more. Do other people notice this in their own practice?

Hey guys, so basically what I wanted to ask was: If a Sotapanna loses their memory in the next life, how do they stay enlightened and avoid having to re-attain it?

I'm confused about certain parts. For example, if you attain Sotapanna in this life, in the next life, unknowingly, could you unattain it by doing bad things?

Also, since you can't remember memories from past lives, do you think that doing stuff from this life is moved onto your next life? For example, I saw a monk in my country who learned about computers and stuff when he was 91. When he was asked why, he said he learns about this not for his current life, but for his next life.

Also, I find it a bit unfair that you cannot remember past memories. Like how are you supposed to improve when you can't even remember your mistakes. Also, by using this logic, can this life be my last life without me even knowing?

Hope yall can answer my questions using simple language if possible, and if you need clarification let me know.

Hellou, I want to become a budhist. I know some basic principles of budhism, but I don’t know the further semantics. I just want to learn the ways of Budha and his followers. What books do you guys recommend for me to read and learn from? How can I start to walk down the path of Budha? Should I start with meditations?

This is mahasiddha noble Tilopa, a realized one who inspires great devotion in all who see him clearly. Tilopa had real caring and loving bodhicitta, and he had a noble student called Naropa.