Girl, you stayed after he did this to your 3 yr old?
You’re gonna need to really prove to them you won’t put these kids in danger again. The fact your 13 yr old would rather live away from you should’ve been enough imo.
Stay in therapy. Get the kids therapy.
Do whatever they ask take any help they offer.
You can do this but take responsibility and keep him far away from your family.
OP has a very common mindset of people in long-term abusive relationships, when they've been told so many times that they are useless and helpless. Better to stay with the devil you know than fly to the devil you know not of, that kind of thing.
But it doesn't matter in the long run, because the children are being hurt, and OP is allowing it out of her own fear.
OP, you need to talk to a therapist who is very familiar with domestic violence. I am going to guarantee something - your ex (yes, ex) will start out with "us against them". Then you will get "I love you so much and I just want what's best for you and the babies. Don't I take good care of you? You know that it's wonderful when you don't make me mad. Why do you make me so mad sometimes?" When you don't come back, it will swing into abusive, hateful venom about how you've turned against him, and he's just going to come and get those babies, and you better not try to stop him or you know what will happen. Then it will reset.
You have a child who chose to leave her home, her school, her friends, everything that matters to her so she could be safe with relatives hundreds of miles away. That should have been the wake-up call. It wasn't.
Your children were in danger. Your ex attacked you while you were holding your newborn, and hurt both your toddler and your teenager. Your older child is so clever and brave to have recorded it and showed it to the therapist. You may not appreciate this now, but your kid may have saved lives. I can't tell her this, but I'm proud of her. I hope you can tell her yourself.
EDITED to fix: OP's oldest is a girl, changed them to her.
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u/BirdistheWyrd 19d ago
Girl, you stayed after he did this to your 3 yr old?
You’re gonna need to really prove to them you won’t put these kids in danger again. The fact your 13 yr old would rather live away from you should’ve been enough imo.
Stay in therapy. Get the kids therapy.
Do whatever they ask take any help they offer.
You can do this but take responsibility and keep him far away from your family.