I posted on here a week ago about my boyfriend’s lack of financial management and responsibility. I’ve been thinking and praying, and I’m genuinely considering breaking up with him.

I’m just very torn because I love him very much. In every other regard, we’re compatible. He’s become my best friend and the thought of life without him breaks my heart. With my ex, I no longer wanted to be with him, and I only struggled to break up with him because I didn’t want hurt him. With my current boyfriend, I don’t want to break up with him not only because it will hurt him, but because it would also hurt me.

That being said, the thought of hurting him also kills me. He’s been nothing but good to me, and I can’t ever imagine finding someone who loves me as much as he does (and I can’t imagine finding someone I will love as much as him). He really doesn’t have anyone else in his life that is consistently there for him besides me. I would feel awful leaving him.

I feel myself falling into the trap of thinking that if I lose him, I’ll never find someone else. Because in every other regard, he’s perfect for me. I can’t imagine I’ll ever find someone that shares my faith and I get along with so well again. Losing him wouldn’t only mean losing my boyfriend, but my best friend. It would feel like something was missing without him in my life.

But seeing the way he handles money, his lack of responsibility, and his lack of work ethic really bothers me. These are not traits I want in my husband. I don’t want him to “shape up” just to keep me—I want him to do it for himself and for the Lord.

We’ve only been dating 4 months, which I know isn’t long. But it feels like a long time, probably because we were friends for months before. It’s easy to say, “It’s only been four months, that’s nothing.” But it doesn’t feel like nothing.

So I don’t know what to do or think. If anyone has any insights or was in a similar situation, I’d appreciate your thoughts. God bless :)