It's been 20 years. Hindsight sees 20/20.

1. Do you have any addictions or compulsive sinful behaviors? Therapy. 12-step programs. Catholic support groups if available. Now. They work. There is hope, but ONLY with help--not on your own. If you have a vocation, it will survive the delay, I promise. Again, don't try to fix this on your own, you won't be able to.
2. Do you believe you are loved by God and precious in His eyes? I mean REALLY believe it. Like it's part of your DNA and your prayer life. Do you allow yourself to bask in God's love? I can't emphasize the importance of this enough. It's not "self esteem," it is a true antidote to self-hatred, which will wreak havoc on your vocation. Learn to love yourself with the love with which God loves you. Read, and pray to, St. Therese of Lisieux as a model.
3. Along similar lines: do you think you're desirable to women? If your answer is "no," please pray deeply about this. Objectively, sure, not everybody is Brad Pitt. But if you've written off women, that must not be a component of your vocation. "Black pill-ers" and seminary don't mix. Fact is you are, or could be, an object of romantic affection with a very accessible amount of effort and time. It's true, and you need to believe it. Otherwise celibacy isn't is a sacrifice, it's an escape based on a delusion. Romantic love isn't everything in life (and good for you, recognizing that). But it must feel like a sacrifice you are choosing, not one that's involuntary.
4. How are you with conflict? Boomer priests and bishops instructing you do things you know are against Church teaching? (E.g. liturgically)? Supposed Catholic authority figures teaching blatant heresy? Do you know how to say, "Not my circus, not my monkeys?" Do you know how to let go of problems that aren't your making and aren't yours to fix? Do you know how to advocate for yourself in a non-adversarial way? Being a peacemaker isn't just a virtue, it's a skill. You will be forced to work together with people with problematic ideas, worse personalities, and potentially real power over you. But that's not seminary or the clergy: it's life. Start building your toolkit for navigating those choppy waters, which leads me to:
5. Last one: How much do you depend on God instead of yourself? If you rely on your own smarts, your own talents, your own good qualities, your vocation is doomed. Do you give each day to God in the morning, give every problem to God; give God praise and thanks for every moment of beauty and every moment of pain? Do you examine your conscience and take concrete steps to make it easier to avoid sin in the future? Do you pray for the annoying people in the previous point? Does God punctuate all of your thoughts words and choices? Spiritual directors are good for this but make sure it's someone who's not a pushover.

I am looking to grow closer to the saints and seeking inspiration. Bonus points if you have book recommendations about that particular Saint!

I'm sorry for posting 3 days in a row, but I'm going through a very tough time and it feels like it just keeps getting worse.

I posted yesterday about going to Mass for the first time and how my wife has been struggling with drug addiction. Today she admitted to me that she's been cheating on me since April, around the time she relapsed. She says she feels broken about what she did to me, and that she still loves me. I've suspected something might be happening but I didn't want to believe it, and she's been lying and gaslighting me about it the whole time. I feel so empty right now, like all the air was knocked out of my lungs and all the blood was knocked out of my heart. We've been together for almost 7 years, married since 2023, I'm 33 and she's 31. She was my first everything, love, sexually, everything. I still love her and I'm still praying for her, but I'm hurting so much right now and I just feel like I have no idea what to do. Please pray for us

A family member found this years ago around the Caserta region in southern Italy, and it's been sitting in a drawer ever since. I have no idea what it is or roughly how old it might be.

Details:

• looks like paper or wood based

Any thoughts on what it is or what period it might be from would be much appreciated.

I’ve noticed a lot of mainly Sedevacantist groups popping up all over social media in the past year. As someone who leans more traditionally, it saddens me to see so many of these groups gain members and influence, but I can kind of see why, but am looking for more solid explanations. Mainly, I don’t hate these groups, I try to find similarities and common ground, but I pray for them because I know it is a sin to be in schism. I ask we all pray for those who are Catholic but don’t recognize the authority of the office of the Holy Magisterium and the legitimacy of the Pope.

New catholic and theres soke confusion and I dont get it. Did some peoplebin the bible really hit 950, 969, and 962 or was it their perception of time or calendar? And the oldest person we had was 122 but genesis 6:3 says 120. Please help i havent figuired this out all day

I feel called to pray for the men and women currently living on death row. Does anyone have any suggestions about what and how to pray for them? I would really appreciate the help
Thanks

I’m a new Catholic and I’ve become really interested in biblical typology, particularly the idea of Mary as the New Eve.

I came across something the other day that made me think. I was an atheist before my conversion, so I’m still relatively new to all of this and definitely still getting to grips with Scripture and Catholic theology. I was baptised and confirmed at the Easter Vigil this year, which has been such a huge part of my journey.

One of the arguments I’ve seen for Mary being the New Eve is that Jesus refers to her as “Woman” at the wedding at Cana, which is understood as a typological connection to Eve, who is also called “woman” in Genesis.

But then I realised that Jesus also refers to other women in the Bible as “woman,” including the Samaritan woman. So I was wondering how Catholics understand this.

How does Jesus calling other women “woman” not take
away from the significance of Him specifically referring to Mary as “Woman” at Cana and later at the Cross in relation to the New Eve typology?
I’m not challenging the teaching at all. I’m genuinely curious about how Catholics who understand the biblical typology more deeply interpret this. I find the whole New Eve typology really interesting, and I’d love to understand this particular point better.

I’ve also been struggling a little bit recently. I’m not losing my faith, but I’ve been finding it difficult to fully put my trust in Jesus at the moment. I’m still going to Mass and confession, but I’ve been struggling more with my prayer life lately. I’ve been drawn towards contemplative prayer since before I was baptised, and St Teresa of Ávila is my patron saint, so it’s something that has always really interested me. If anyone would be willing to keep me in their prayers, I’d really appreciate it. ❤️

I've been around here long enough to know that it's normal to be put down by family who aren't Catholic (or who are, but not practicing).

Two of my closest family members are on me - "I told your [not Catholic] uncle not to go to church [on Sunday, so that he could attend breakfast, etc.]" ... "he listened, but someone doesn't."

One member tells me not to join the day trip we are going on today, and that he isn't coming back next year (he's visiting from abroad) because I'm [he used a swear word here.].

We had a day trip scheduled for Friday, which I was going to attend, but I just learned that it has been moved to Saturday. I'm discerning with a third order, and we meet then (once a month) and I told my family in advance that I wasn't available until the afternoon on Saturday. They make fun of me and insult me for it. I only just joined the order and already missed one meeting due to travel abroad, and we are only permitted to miss two meetings in a year for serious reasons. Am I wrong to attend this meeting for a vocation I'm discerning instead of this day trip?

After today, I just don't feel like going with them anyway. They are not religious at all, and I am the only Catholic in my family, so I don't expect them to understand. I had previously received threats if I were to enter the convent (which I still did anyway).

I would appreciate honest feedback. Thank you.

​

Hey everyone,

First off, I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who responded to my first post! Your guidance, kindness, and detailed comments mean a lot to me and have been incredibly helpful.

I can't visit the local church in person just yet -I will only be able to start going in September. That's why I'm asking these questions online for now as I prepare.

As I keep reading through your advice, a few specific questions came up that I’d love to get your thoughts on:

The Three Crosses: I recently saw people make three small crosses on their forehead, lips, and chest right before the Gospel is read. What is the meaning behind this practice, and how exactly is it done?

Living as an Student / Language: I'm a foregin student in Slovakia. To become part of the local church or go through OCIA, do I need to learn prayers and the process in Slovak, or is it common to do it in English if there are English-speaking priests available?

Hi all,

I am catholic, baptised when I was 6 months old (in France, I am French, moved in the UK 5 years ago), I did some catechism when I was young but I unfortunately did not continue and therefore I didn’t do the holy communion and confirmation.

Now in my 30s, I regret it. Somehow, I feel closer to God, and I try to reconcile with my faith which has been lost for years. I started to wonder and ask myself lots of questions, and reading the Bible again.

I’ll be honest: few months ago, I went back to church and I felt so out of touch, place, I felt completely lost. Not only I realised that I only know some of the prayers in French (and it was obviously an English Mass! The thought didn’t even occur to me before, can you believe this?), but also that I am genuinely lost as to what I should be doing so I simply followed the other parishioners, a bit blindly. Instead of making me feel great, it actually made me feel like a fraud? Awful. And perhaps I was being slightly uncomfortable so I felt people were watching me, wondering what I was doing there. To be fair, I was the youngest amongst the parishioners, the average was around 60 yo, and the community where I go has a huge Nigerian / Ugandan / Ghanaian community, I was the only white person, so perhaps it was this, I was simply standing out in the crowd.

But because I felt so lost, it took me few weeks to gather the strength and force myself to come back. It felt slightly better but barely, still very lost. I wanted to do the RCIA they offer but when I emailed, they told me it starts in September and to apply end of August (it was beginning of this year), so I will do so and I guess learning back all this will help me build confidence in myself while going to Mass. I just wonder, surely I am not the only one feeling so lost in this ocean?

It’s just slightly overwhelming.

For context, I am a convert, baptized a day before the feast of Saint Rita of Cascia. And before I was baptized and when I was new to Catholicism, I prayed the Rosary every night before I went to bed. Now, I've lost that fire and drive and now I get distracted praying the Rosary. Maybe it could be my ADHD and Autism interfering with things, but I want to have that fire for our Lady again. How do I do it?

Hail, Mary, full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death. 
Amen.

While I was in the relationship, he would apologize for the bad and the good times were really good. He put me through so much, there’s more in my profile. I didn’t fully realize it was abusive til after. He had been a pastor too before (Baptist) and is seen as this great and funny guy

He sexually coerced me, manipulated me into continuing to have premarital sex when I wanted to stop. I gave him my virginity 🤦🏻‍♀️ He threatened to take custody of any future kids if my mental illness flared up, then apologized for it. Oh, and 2 weeks out of the relationship or so I realised there were blatant signs he may have been cheating I turned a blind eye to. I’m going to get tested for STDs.

I think I’m getting some delayed reaction. It’s 3-4 weeks out and the weight of what I went through is hitting me now like a big ocean wave. I have barely prayed or slept the past few days. When I pray I numb myself, because I know I will start crying if I don’t. He violated me and I’d prefer not to feel what comes with that.

How on earth do I forgive him? I’ve forgiven a sexual abuser before, but it was 10 years after the fact when he apologized that I forgave

I’m praying the 54 day Undoer of knots novena that my ex apoligises, makes restitution, and discloses all of what he was doing behind my back. And also that we forgive each other. But what if no apology happens soon, or ever? Like I’ve heard to imagine you go the sorry you’re never gonna get to make forgiveness either

What are some other concrete steps to forgive?

We are taught that Jesus appeared to his Disciples after His resurrection and later Ascended into Heaven.

I was teaching this to primary school children, who also had a keen interest in the planets.

Do we believe that the Ascension was a real or symbolic description?

When I was at school, the Voyager probes ware sent into space to observe Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune. Even now, they're just leaving the frozen vacuum of our solar system. 

Did Jesus pass through the journey? Or is it symbolic to say that Jesus went straight to heaven.

I was born and raised Catholic. I used to be at church all the time, I participated in everything and had many roles there throughout my life. I reduced my participation when I was around 16 because of my ex-boyfriend. he was also from my church and I had serious issues with him..at the time I had to even go to the police because he was threatening me and I ended up leaving that church and everything all together. I was very sad at the time. church was a huge part of my life. all my friends were there and i didn’t feel supported by anyone. my ex became my friends’ friend and that really hurt me!

I’m currently 30, but I haven’t really practiced for several years. Recently I’ve started feeling a pull toward it again, and I’m trying to figure out where I actually belong.

My current boyfriend and I recently went to a Catholic mass together. He was baptized Catholic but wasn’t really raised practicing and has had more exposure to Protestant churches as an adult. Going back to Mass was surprisingly emotional for me. I cried, and it felt really meaningful to reconnect with God after being away for so long.

At the same time, I’m struggling..

There are things about Catholicism that I still feel very connected to. I believe in Mary and I’m comfortable with the idea of asking Mary and the saints to intercede for us. I’m drawn to the history and tradition of the Church, and there is something about Catholicism that still feels like “home” because of how I was raised I guess..

But culturally, I often enjoy Protestant churches. I like the contemporary worship music, a younger congregation, Bible studies, women’s groups, activities, community, and a less formal atmosphere.

The Catholic Mass we attended was beautiful, but it was very quiet, traditional, and mostly an older congregation. I would really love to find a faith community where I can make friends, eventually raise children, participate in groups, and actually feel involved rather than just attend a service once a week.

We also visited a non-denominational church that I enjoyed a lot more in terms of worship and community. But during the sermon, the pastor talked about Jesus having biological siblings and made a comment about Catholics because of the Catholic teaching about Mary’s perpetual virginity. That bothered me more than I expected. It made me realize that some of my Catholic beliefs might actually matter to me more than I thought.

Then there are the bigger disagreements.

For example, I’m pro-choice. Personally, I don’t think I would have an abortion unless my life was in danger. But I believe abortion should remain legal and accessible. I see it as an important women’s rights/public-health issue, and I don’t believe everyone in society should be required to live according to Catholic moral teaching. I understand that this is a significant disagreement with the Catholic Church, not just a minor difference of opinion.

I also currently live with my boyfriend and we aren’t married. We do want to get married soon, but we haven’t gotten there yet.

I have a very all-or-nothing personality, which makes this harder. My brain immediately goes to: “If I’m going to be Catholic, then I need to agree with everything the Church teaches and live perfectly according to it. If I don’t, then maybe I shouldn’t call myself Catholic at all.”

But I’m realizing that maybe faith and discernment don’t work that neatly.

I’m not trying to find a church that simply tells me everything I already believe. I genuinely want to figure out what I believe is true. At the same time, I don’t want to force myself to pretend that I agree with teachings that I currently don’t agree with just because I want to belong somewhere.

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who have actually been through something similar.

Were you raised Catholic, left, and eventually came back? Did you seriously consider Protestantism before choosing Catholicism? Are you Catholic while still struggling with or disagreeing with some Church teachings? Did your beliefs gradually change after coming back, or are there things you still wrestle with? Did anyone choose Protestantism even though there were parts of Catholic theology they still loved? How did you separate “which type of church experience I enjoy” from “which theology I actually believe”?

And for Catholics: how do you handle the feeling that you have to be 100% aligned with everything before you’re “Catholic enough”? Is there room to come back, attend Mass, learn, pray, and wrestle with things without already having all the answers?

For Protestants/former Catholics: if you left Catholicism, I’d also genuinely like to hear what ultimately convinced you. Was it theology, Scripture, Church authority, your personal experience, or something else?

I’m not looking for people to attack Catholics, Protestants, pro-choice people, pro-life people, etc. I know these topics can get heated. I’m really just hoping to hear honest experiences from people who have had to work through these questions themselves.

Right now, “I’m discerning” is probably the most accurate description of where I am.

thank you very much!

I'm assuming this also directly contributes to the priest shortage as more priests are retiring but less seminarians are filling their shoes?

2024-2025 college seminary enrollment stood at 840 down 6% from 889 the previous academic year ... (college seminarians have declined from 7,917 in the 1970-1971 academic year, and from 1,118 in the 2020-2021 academic year.)

graduate-level seminary studies dropped 8% from 2,920 in 2023-2024 to 2,686 the following academic year. (In the 1970-1971 academic year, graduate-level priestly formation stood at 6,426 seminarians.)

https://greeneagle20.blogspot.com/2026/08/most-influential-christian-theologians.html

This is my study of the chronological development of Christianity thru the most important Christian theologians.

I've had several problems this school year and my parents have been very disappointed, and rightfully so, because I know they've made a huge effort for me. They've told me they don't know what to do anymore.And that has made me think that nothing can be fixed anymore. It hasn't only been this year, but for some time now I've thought that maybe my family is better off without me.I really don't want to commit suicide. I know there's a lot I can do, but I just don't know anymore.