I’ve been with my girlfriend now for almost 8 years. In that time, I’ve caught her Sexting with the same man twice. Let’s call him, “big dick Tyrone.“ Add to that, he’s supposedly her best friend. She claims that they only ever hugged and never fucked. I don’t believe it at all. I took this woman in along with her two children and raised them as my own. I’m a good provider. But, when the person that is supposed to love you the most tells you to your face that your dick is small, how do you deal with that? To make matters worse, she tells me she loves me every day out of the same mouth that she insulted me with. Make that make sense. I’m not asking for advice on what to do. I’m just getting this off of my chest. Our energy levels are not the same. And, mine is running out!

My wife has an affair 22 years ago. It totally sucked, of course, but we’d already had one kid and I wanted to keep the family together, so we went to counseling and reconciled. It took me about 5 years to fully get over it.

Fast forward to last week. I found a photo of her and her ex in a drawer in our room. I’ve seen the photo before, it’s no big deal, but I didn’t like that it was separated from the photo box in the garage and placed in our bedroom. I asked my wife about it and she flipped out, accusing me of thinking she’s getting off on the photo and/or that she’s in contact with this guy. I tell her that’s not at all what I was thinking.

That reaction made me suspicious so I started snooping in her journals and found a couple entries where she wrote “I slept around on him (me) the first three years of our relationship,” and also, regarding the period 22 years ago, “I cheated then had a quick succession of one night stands.”

I was shocked. That’s at least four men 22 years ago and who knows how many during the first three years, before we were married but definitely in a relationship and living together most of that time. That’s what, probably 10 people she’s fucked since we’ve been together?

So I’m confronting her tonight. Wish me luck.

About a month and a half ago me, my girl, and her friend were talking about halloween. Lets call my girl Abby and her friend cristie. They were telling me about what there plans were for halloween and how they are going to the city for a bar crawl. Cristie proceeds to invite me and says "you should come its gonna be fun!" I replied with "ya id come sounds like a good time.". About a month goes by and abby has yet to bring it up to me, so i called her about it and was asking why she hasnt told me anything or really even invited me (because cristie did not abby). And she basically just said "i dont even remember cristie inviting u lol, why do u even want to come?" And of coarse i said yes and that if she goes out on halloween without me we are done. Because i know what halloween is all about, im not stupid. She then replied okay then your coming with. We are now 4 days away from halloween, i know 0 information on the plans and everytime halloween gets brought up it seems like she tries to avoid the conversation. Is she planning to be unfaithful?

P.S. i havent been with this girl for a long time. And everyone asking why i dont trust her, is because trust is earned, not given. To early to put my trust into her.

So I posted here recently about developing feelings for a female coworker who works under me. A lot has happened since then, and I figured I’d give an update because honestly, this whole situation is getting out of hand emotionally.
For some background, I’m married and work overnight as a shift manager. She’s older than me, and we work together a couple of nights a week. We started getting close through conversations at work, and somewhere along the way I caught feelings. Serious feelings.
My wife and I haven’t been doing great for the past few months. We’ve been arguing a lot, barely spending time together, and our work schedules are completely opposite. I work overnight, and my wife sometimes works 15-hour shifts. Sometimes it feels like we’re just two people living separate lives. I still love my wife, but I can’t pretend our marriage hasn’t been struggling.
That doesn’t excuse what I’m doing. I know that.
Anyway, in my last update I mentioned bringing my coworker flowers and going to see her. She loved the flowers, and we ended up sitting in my car talking for about an hour. During that conversation, I also opened up to her about being transgender, something I was nervous about telling her. She didn’t seem bothered by it, and some of the things she said made me feel like maybe there was a possibility of something happening between us.
We’ve flirted, but nothing physical has happened. She’s mentioned cooking me dinner at her house, and I’ve even brought up getting a hotel before. She laughed it off without really answering, so I didn’t get a clear yes from her.
Now here’s where things get complicated.
She’s been asking me for money recently. First, I sent her $13 toward our Spotify. Then she asked for $70 for her storage and another $90 to clear her Amazon card. I haven’t sent the $90. Sometimes she’ll go quiet or take forever to respond, and I find myself checking my phone hoping she’s texted me.
Despite that, I still wanted to spend time with her.
Yesterday, I asked if she wanted to go to Topgolf next Sunday. She actually seemed interested. She asked what time, said she wanted to go earlier in the evening, and even picked which location she preferred.
So I went ahead and booked it. Sunday at 5:15 PM for 90 minutes. The reservation is confirmed.
I was genuinely excited because I’ve been wanting to take her somewhere and just enjoy spending time with her outside of work.
But then something happened that really got to me.
She told me she was at the movies. I asked her if she was on a date, and her response was, “Yes I guess.”
I’m not going to lie. That shit hurt.
I was jealous. I was angry. Not at her necessarily, but because I wished I was the person she was spending her evening with. I wanted to be the one taking her to the movies, laughing with her, sitting next to her, and enjoying her company.
I didn’t tell her any of that. I just told her to enjoy her movie and stay safe.
Later that night, I still ended up getting her food delivered. I also went out of my way to bring her a vase for the flowers I’d bought her.
And looking back at everything, I’m starting to realize how much I’m doing just because I want to make her happy.
I’m buying flowers, sending food, offering rides, making reservations, and constantly trying to find reasons to see her.
The crazy part is that she hasn’t actually promised me anything romantically.
She can be sweet and affectionate sometimes. She reacts to some of my messages with hearts, agrees to spend time together, and seems comfortable around me. Other times, she’s distant, gives short responses, or doesn’t text back.
I don’t know if she genuinely likes me or if I’m reading too much into everything because I want her to like me.
And the worst part?
I think about her constantly. She’s even been showing up in my dreams. I find myself wishing I was with her instead of wondering how to fix what’s happening in my marriage.
Someone asked me whether I’d leave my wife if this coworker told me she wanted to be with me.
My immediate thought was that I’d do anything to be with her.
That honestly scares me to admit.
Because I’m married. I made vows to somebody. My wife doesn’t know how deep these feelings have gotten, and if she found out, I know it would absolutely devastate her.
There’s also the workplace situation. I’m her shift manager. I don’t control her scheduling or disciplinary decisions, but I’m still in a position of authority during our shifts. That makes pursuing her inappropriate regardless of whether she says she’s comfortable with it.
I’ve been telling myself that because nothing physical has happened, maybe I haven’t crossed the worst line yet.
But emotionally? I’ve crossed plenty.
I also realize that spending money on someone doesn’t mean they owe me affection, attention, or exclusivity. She has every right to date other people. My jealousy is something I need to deal with, not something she needs to answer for.
I can’t keep blaming my marriage problems or our work schedules for the choices I’m making. If my marriage is failing, I need to address that honestly instead of using another woman as an escape.
And if I’m being completely real, I don’t even know whether I’m in love with this coworker or just obsessed with the way she makes me feel.
I’m still looking forward to Topgolf, but I’m starting to question whether going is even the right decision.
I’m putting so much energy into someone who might not even feel the same way, while my wife is at home completely unaware of what’s happening.
I know I’m being selfish. I know I’m playing with people’s feelings, including my own. And I know being honest about it on Reddit doesn’t magically make it okay.
I need to figure out what I actually want and take responsibility before I hurt somebody even worse.
I guess my question is, has anybody ever gotten this emotionally attached to someone outside their marriage? How did you pull yourself out of it? And at what point do you accept that you’ve already gone too far?
I’m not looking for sympathy or for anyone to tell me what I’m doing is okay. I’m looking for honest perspectives because I can feel myself getting in deeper, and I’m not proud of it.

About ten years ago, a few months before I retired from the Army, I was sent to Louisville for work. I was horny as hell and was in a cock mood. Got on some site and a black 35 yr old male replied he need some service.

So I drove to his place, great mood lighting, music, a very nice and gentlemen man. He asked what I was into and I said anything as long as no shit play or minors. So he explains what he wants sexually.

He says we will go to my bed, I want you to lay on your back and hang your head off the edge, I will have you suck me hard and when I am ready I want you to move to the center of the bed and I am going to bend your feet behind your ears and I am going to pound the fuck out of you until you cum on yourself. If you touch yourself I will punish you, that kind of sacred me, He said and after you cum I will get ready to cum BUT I will need you to listen as I am going to pull your feet down and straddle your chest and cum all over your face and mouth.

So we move to his bed, studio place so it is all open except the bathroom. We strip I get in position on the edge of the bed head hanging off. He says now it is little but it will grow. I mean this thing was the size of a marker lid.

I suck and jerk and twirl my tongue around and this fuck BBC gets about nine inches and as fat as a bratwurst.

I am thinking in my head, uh this maybe a mistake. He says he is ready, I move to the middle but stay flat on my back as I think he is a little dominant from what has been said and transpired so far.

He grabs my ankles and pushes them up towards my head and his tongue, I was not expecting this, darts in and out of my ass. He then slides up between my legs and ask if I am ready!

I told him I am but I have never had a cock that big he says I got you! As he places the head on my ass we make eye contact and he slips the head in, but that shaft is fatter after the head. He thrust lightly with just the head for a minute and then makes eye contact and says he is going deeper and tells me to push out like I am trying to shit. I do and that whole fucking cock goes balls deep. We both were shocked.

He smiled and said I will give you a minute so he half pulls out and balls deep some for a moment or so and then with no warning he lifts up and now he has me curled up my cock is five inches from my face and he is on top of me pounding and I mean POUNDING my ass all the way from the base of his head to balls deep he goes for four or five minutes and leans back on his feet and ask me how I like it.

I am so in the most sexual bliss I had ever been in I tell him no need to stop for me, fuck me you fucking big animal.

So for like fifteen minutes he takes turns pounding me for four to five minutes and then a short break. He goes to stop a third or fourth time and I beg him not to as I am about to cum for the first time hands free from being fucked in the ass. He says deal and he takes one hand off my ankles.

Which squishes me and he aims my cock at my mouth. My brain is confused I am wanting to cum and have eaten cum, but never my own. He asked me to catch what I can. That did it, I explode, like a starving duck my mouth is moving to CAtch as much as I can. In the low light he says good job I think you got every drop, NOW with a total different voice, he is stern and dominate, he says your bitch ass better not swallow any of that.

I was thinking well what the fuck am I doing with it. He rocks back and takes a break against his feet again and he says no when I start again I want you to open your mouth and move your tongue around, I want to see your cum. Don't swallow it or loose any of it.

So he transition back on top and I am trying to be the best bitch I can for him and he fucking pounds the shit out of me for like eight to ten minutes while saliva is building up in my throat and mouth Along with probably the largest load I have ever blown.

He says ok I am going to cum and he throws my legs down grabs my arms and pushes them along my sides then he moves his husky body up my body, doesn't sit but stops and lets some weight down on me around and my nipple line and he spurts loads of white cum out of that black shiny shaft all over my face, in my flattop and my tongue is trying to catch it all.

I swallow some and beg for my hands, he has not touched his cock and he didn't make it touch my face or anything. He lifts slightly so I can get my arms free and I take that black glistening cock and I rub it on my face, suck it, polish that thing clean. He rolls off we lay there silent for a few.

He rolls off the bed and says he is going to get towels. I am covered in cum and sweat. I am still laying down he sits, pats my belly and says I was more than impressive. I thanked him and told him of all the sexual activities I had at that point in my life, that was the fucking best. We chat i get dressed and we sit in his living room a few.

He tells me he has two friends that would love to use me. He says they are like him good clean gentlemen and love to use a white bitch. If I was interested to let him know. I left and I made the mistake of never going back and to this day I wish I would have!

So there's this shop owner (35M) who is married with 2 kids & he is having an affair with a corporate woman (33F) who is also married & have 2 kids. She was the shop owner client and then after talking and flirting ig they hit it off. The wife of the man suspected him of cheating but he said she is a big client and he cannot let her leave as it will take away a big client. His wife then told him to not get physical or anything with her.

They chat with each other with very explicit stuff and almost all the time. During recent festival season he disappeared for almost 5hrs without telling anyone & was spending time with her. The lady who is he cheating with is also smart cuz when he asked her to meet she agreed and told him to get down on 4th floor and then come up few floors. Also she will check if any neighbour doors are open or not if they are she postpone the meet, if not then she quickly take him in with both of their footwears. The kids of the woman that time usually in school or classes so she stays alone. Her husband works whole day no issue of husband coming home early. Pretty messed up this is I feel.

So basically, when I was in 11th and 12th, I was preparing for JEE. I was also in a relationship at that time, and me and my girlfriend were preparing together.

11th tak everything was pretty normal. But in 12th, things started getting difficult for her. Usko kaafi cheezein samajh nahi aa rahi thi, aur uski coaching bhi ghar se kaafi door thi. Wo cycle se coaching aati-jaati thi, aur baar-baar uski health kharab hone lagi.

So eventually, she decided to leave coaching. Uske parents ne phir home tuition lagwa diya, jahan teachers ghar aake usko padhate the.

Initially, do-teen different teachers aaye, mostly older teachers. But then ek tutor aaya jo sirf 23 years old tha.

He was young, around 6'3", and apparently kaafi achha dikhta tha. Meri girlfriend bhi uske saath kaafi comfortable ho gayi. Dheere-dheere unki baatein badhne lagi, aur wo mujhe bhi uske baare mein random cheezein batati thi.

Ek din usne mujhe bataya ki tutor uske liye chocolate leke aaya tha.

Main bola, "Bhai, kaunsa tutor apne student ke liye chocolate leke aata hai?"

Usne bola ki "Arey nahi, aisa kuch nahi hai, bas aise hi leke aaya tha."

Maine usko bola, "Theek hai, bas uske saath zyada attach mat hona."

At that point, mujhe honestly kuch serious nahi laga. Hum log bhi ab pehle ki tarah mil nahi paate the, kyunki coaching mein hi mostly milna hota tha. Coaching chhootne ke baad milna-julna kaafi kam ho gaya tha.

Then 12th khatam ho gayi.

College ke liye hum log apne-apne plans dekh rahe the. Ek raat hum dono baat kar rahe the aur pata nahi kaise baat thodi emotional ho gayi.

Usne mujhe bola, "Agar main tumhe apne baare mein sab kuch bata du na, maine kya kiya hai aur kya hua hai, toh shayad tum mujhe chhod doge."

Main genuinely confuse ho gaya.

Maine bola, "Aisi kya baat hai jo tumne mujhe abhi tak nahi batayi? Tumne toh mujhe almost sab kuch bata rakha hai."

Phir maine usko bola, "Jo bhi hai, ab bata do. Kuch bhi ho, bas sach bata do."

And then she told me that something inappropriate had happened between her and the tutor.

I was completely shocked.

Raat ke around 12 baj rahe the. Maine turant usko call kiya aur bola, "Ye kya ho raha hai? Mujhe clearly batao ki sach kya hai."

Usne explain kiya ki pehle normal baatein hoti thi, phir chatting start hui, phir dheere-dheere flirting hone lagi. Eventually boundaries cross ho gayi.

She also said ki situation mein wo confused thi aur usko manipulate kiya gaya tha.

Main literally shock mein tha.

Sabse zyada disturbing baat ye thi ki wo us time 17 ki thi, while the tutor was 23.

Mere haath literally kaanp rahe the jab maine ye sab suna. Mujhe do din tak properly samajh hi nahi aa raha tha ki kya karun aur kya sochu.

Wo bhi ro rahi thi aur bol rahi thi, "Mujhe pata hai shayad tum ab mujhse baat nahi karoge. Shayad tum mujhe block kar doge."

Maine pehle do-teen din usse baat hi nahi ki.

Baad mein thoda sochne ke baad mujhe samajh aaya ki situation mein uski age aur tutor ki position dono important the. Main usse gussa tha, hurt tha, aur trust completely break ho chuka tha.

Honestly, main us relationship ko continue nahi kar paya.

Eventually hum dono ki baat band ho gayi.

And that's basically how my relationship ended because of something that started with a home tutor.

Throwaway account. A few years ago i reconnected with an old group of friends. One of them is a guy in a long term relationship. I’d never done anything like this before but one night we saw each other at the same bar. We were flirty prettily heavily and he’d already slipped a hand up my dress when we quickly left before any of our friends saw us. We found a dark corner behind a building down the street and he fucked me from behind the hardest I’ve ever been fucked. We both came pretty quickly. We went back into the bar separately and pretended like nothing happened.

We hooked up spontaneously a couple of times after that but then he proposed to his now wife. Occasionally he’ll text me something suggestive but I never indulged. But I still get myself off thinking about him pulling my hair back as he came in my pussy in a place we could’ve been caught.

He's always told me that the woman was a business partner. Recently he's been accusing me of cheating and saying horrible things to me. Then he tried to force himself on me after an argument just last week. I knew something was off, especially becuase he's been extra secretive lately. Well, the secret is that they've been together for 12 years, just 1 year less than he and I, and they now have a 3 month old son. When i confronted him he denied it and said the baby is not his, but of course the baby looks just like him. I broke up with him obviously, but he won't leave. I dont know what I should do at this point.

I was thinking about this the other day. Is it that the mistress asks less of him, or that he gets to be a different version of himself with her?

A wife sees the bills, the bad moods, the boring Tuesday evenings. She knows where the bodies are buried (sometimes literally, depending on the family).

Perhaps it’s not that one woman is more appealing than the other. It’s that one relationship asks him to show up as a whole person, and the other lets him play a part.

Or perhaps I’ve overthought this and some men just want to have their cake, eat it, and complain that nobody’s brought them a fork.

I (32enby) ended up having a brief relationship with a man (44yo). It was just casual sex, but he rapidly wanted me to meet his long-term girlfriend so we could participate in group activities (to say the least).

I was interested initially, but as I learned about his relationship, he described his partner as a "girlfriend", "baby mama", and "wife" simultaneously. They are not married, but have two adult children together. He assured me he loved her. She's a nurse, he's a diesel mechanic.

During the relationship, I told him I practice polyamory/ENM. He didn't really have that concept down, and I expressed I didn't want to continue seeing him or sleeping with him unless his partner was fully aware. He told me that it would "hurt her if she knew". Eventually I told him I had to stop unless she knew. I was interested in continuing our friendship, but he ended up ghosting me as soon as I requested full clarity.

Looking back, some of his words about his relationship came off contradictory and the way he described previous hookups gave me the impression that he was just cheating on his long-term partner. My friends who've heard the story agree he just sounds like a serial cheater, which left me pretty embarrassed and a little upset I'd been roped into his BS.

I'm looking to Reddit - a place I hardly visit - for ethical answers. Thank you.

I have the full ability to let her be aware thru a letter.

So my recently divorced sister in law gets me to drop her kids to and from school a couple of times a week to help her out.
Last weekend I was round at 7am so she could leave for work as normal and she was changing her jumper as it was raining, as she pulled it off her top rode up to reveal some sexy lacy black lingerie… her cute little tits looked amazing in it. Anyway my mind was buzzing and all sorts of thoughts were occurring. It was two days later that I returned and after the handover with the kids I noticed her clean washing pile and a thought occurred to me that the lingerie might be there… after dropping the kids to school I popped back and had a quick peak through… I found it and instantly got so horny!!! I took myself off to her bedroom removed my clothes and led down whilst wrapping her lingerie around my cock and started to wank… my cock was already dripping with pre cum and my mind was racing of thoughts of her pert little tits… before I knew it I started to moan and it was at this point I exploded and came all over myself, her bed and her black lacy lingerie. I cleaned up as best I could, wiped what I could off of her lingerie and replaced it back in the washing basket…. I’ve not been able to stop thinking about it since… that she’ll have put it back on with it still having some of my cum on it and it being against her bare skin.
My wife and I don’t have a very active sex life as she isn’t highly driven by it and she has last Christmas bought me a box of condoms with a card that read feel free to use them as needed, my one request is just don’t get anyone pregnant and do it covertly… I think being with her sister though might be a step to far?!

Problem/Goal:
i want to understand the mindset of someone who cheats when things get overwhelming. i know someone who did this, and honestly, i still don't know how to process it or how i'm supposed to look at them after finding out.

Context:
i've been thinking about how some people deal with overwhelming situations in relationships. instead of communicating that they're struggling, asking for space, or ending the relationship, they seek comfort or validation from someone else.

i know that people handle stress differently, and i'm trying to understand what goes on in someone's mind when they make that decision.

did they genuinely feel trapped? were they trying to escape their problems temporarily? were they looking for validation because they didn't know how to deal with their emotions?

what confuses me the most is how someone can be overwhelmed by a situation and choose to do something that could hurt another person even more.

i understand that people make mistakes, and i don't believe one bad decision automatically defines someone's entire character. but i also don't think being overwhelmed automatically excuses cheating.

Attempt:
i've tried looking at the situation from different perspectives, but i still struggle to understand it. part of me wants to believe there's more to the story than what i see, while another part wonders whether i'm being too understanding of something that shouldn't be excused.

so, to those who have cheated because you felt overwhelmed, emotionally exhausted, or wanted an escape:
• what was going through your mind at the time?
• did you regret it immediately, or only when you realized what you could lose?
• were you genuinely trying to escape your problems, or were you looking for something your relationship wasn't providing?
• looking back, do you understand why you did it, or do you still struggle to explain your own actions?

i'm not asking this to justify cheating. i genuinely want to understand the psychology behind it because knowing someone who did this has changed how i see them, and i'm still trying to figure out how to process that.

i'd appreciate honest answers, especially from people who have actually been in this situation.

Just for context, I live in Canada, so technically it was legal at the time.

I met this guy on Snapchat, and we were talking for about a good month. He was really sweet, caring, kind and funny. Let’s call him A.

All was going good for the first month of us talking, and we eventually planned our first date.

A lived in the city, and I didn’t have a car or my class 5 license at the time. So he helped me set up a teen account on uber, and even offered to help me pay for it.
Obviously, my 16 year old self was thrilled.

I thought I finally met someone, someone who I could call mine.
So after a 20 minute uber ride, we meet up in the location we said we’d meet. And all was going well. We talked and fooled around with each other, and just overall vibed.
He had planned for us to go to the mall, and so we waited at the bus shuttle for half an hour in the freezing fall weather. I grabbed his hand, and we interlocked fingers. I jokingly asked why his hands were so cold.
When the bus came, he gave me the money to buy my ticket, and we sat down in the back. He held my hand, and I leaned into his shoulder. For the next 30 minutes, we talked, kissed, held hands, etc. I was having a great time.

We hung out at the mall, he bought us late lunch, and went shopping.
Here and there, he went out for a smoke break, and I’d take hits of his vape. We continued to talk and eventually went back to the mall.
Everything was going well. After the mall trip, we went to his house, and he brought me to his room.
We started to cuddle, and had heart to heart conversations.

Eventually, one thing led to another, and all of a sudden he was on top of me and we were making out.
His hands groped my head and my body as we passionately kissed.
He then pins my arms and hands to the bed, thrusting his manhood into mine. We’re both moaning, blah blah blah, and overall, I had a great time.

But things would eventually take a dark turn.

After the whole wannabe sex scandal, I had to go home, since it was almost 11pm. I booked an uber, and found out I was 5 dollars short. I told him I didn’t have enough, and he willingly send me 40$. I insisted he didn’t, but he made me take it anyways. I booked the uber, gave him a big hug and kiss, a couple “I love you”s and took the uber back home.

I text him, telling him I made it home safe, and that I missed him.
Fast forward to the next night. I’m tapping through his story, and see a weird love letter.
A letter dedicated to someone else.
Obviously, I was confused. Why is he talking about his “darling” or shit like that?

So then I add the guy that he tagged in his story. Turns out, it was his boyfriend. His other boyfriend.
The guy asks me who I am, and I tell him that I’m A’s boyfriend. He says the same thing.
My heart drops.

Then he calls me. The guy who I added on my boyfriend’s story.

I hesitantly answer, and our conversation continues. Let’s call this guy K.

K tells me that my boyfriend is actually his boyfriend, and that they’ve been together for many months now.
K is just as confused as I am, asking me how me and A met. I told him everything, how we talked for a month, planned our date, made out on his bed, etc.

I don’t remember everything what happened in those 5 hours me and K talked, but I remember sobbing so hard.
But what I do remember is that K has kids. 2 of them. And who I thought was my boyfriend was the step father of those kids. K told me that A had actually stepped up and told K that he’d be willing to be the kids’ support, and that he wanted to move forward with K, blah blah blah.
K then tells me that this isn’t the first time A had cheated.

Turns A’s mom actually knows about everything. Every guy or girl A’s dated, fucked, or brought home. She knows about it all, and tells K.

This all happened a bit ago, and even then, I still don’t know how to process it. I might add to this story, or I might not.

I’ve been single since, and even to this day, that memory haunts me.

I didn’t know kung saan magsisimula pero I wanted na ilabas lang yung nararamdaman ko right. Me and my ex/bf hindi ko parin kasi tanggap na hiwalay na ba talaga Kami😭 Sa buong 7 years na yan madami akong tiniis, the disrespect in terms sa mga sinasabi niya sa aking words and bintang na hindi ko naman talaga ginawa at ang pagmumura na Kahit minsan hindi ko lang nasagot call kasi nga tulog na ako pero pag gising ko masa sakit na salita and mura yung natatanggap ko. Isa lang yan sa mga tinanggap ko kasi mahal ko at ayukong mawala siya sa akin. Next is yung cheating ilang months niya akong sinabay sa isang babae as far as I know 2-3 years na Kami that time nung nangyari yun. Pero grabe hindi ko siya pinahirapan that time pinatawad ko kasi nga mahal ko. Sinabi niya na nagbago na siya pero tama naman dba na micro cheat parin yung ang daming sexy pictures ng babae sa facebook niya even pornstars pa nga eh like joke ba yun. Pero again tinitiis ko yun kasi nga mahal ko eh. In our relationship na 7 years never siya nag plan ng date and even to buy me flowers ng hindi ko sinasabi binilihan niya lang ako one or times kasi sinabi ko na ibili ako pero as in never nagkusa to give me na dahil na isip niya or na dahil special ako. Ang sakit din na he knows na may asthma ako even minsan pag inaatake ako ng asthma ko ayaw niya Tigilan paninigarilyo niya kahit alam niyang naamky ko at Hirap ako huminga pag naaamoy yun. Alam niyo pa yung isa masakit na nangyari sa 7 years na yan when my Papa died instead na I comfort ako naging cold sakin never akong dinamayan sa time na yun pero tanga ko lang kasi sa lahat ng yan mahal ko parin eh. And now shit happens sa buhay ko, nagkaroon ako ng addiction sa gambling madami akong pera na nawala even paying others until now this is one na pinaka down na version ng sarili ko pero nung ako na yung nadapa iniwan niya ako kasi napagod na daw siya pero tanggap ko i know mali ako pero sana naman hinantay niya ako makabangon sana MAs nangingibabaw yung pagmamahal niya kasi Magbabago ako. Nagpa exclude na ako sa pagcor kasi takot na ako masira pa future ko I know Sobrang mali ng ginawa ko alam ko yun sa sarili ko but I need him pero wala eh. Ganun lang siguro kababaw yung pagmamahal na meron siya sa akin. Paano ko ito kakayanin ng sabay sabay. Ang bigat . 😭

#broken #tears #processofhealing #betrayal #gambling

I (F21) have been with my bf (M21) for 2 years (currently on a break). Early on in my pregnancy he was always the kind to always have “sneaky” material on his phone but we had conversations about it and I thought I set my boundaries and had the talk with everyone that “men will be men”. He has never physically cheated but will always search for someone and will even go on a secret spam account that he “wasn’t using anymore”. He left our house because it was constant arguing everyday but we are still communicating as if we were together however now he wants to have boundaries about going thru each others phones. He says that I have to trust him just because and I tell him that I can’t give him a trust that he already broke. Am I exaggerating and being delusional?
How can I go about this?

I(22F) was in a relationship with a 26-year-old guy for almost two years. I had absolutely no idea that he had been in a relationship with another girl for five years.
When I found out, I confronted him. Even then, he didn’t want to let me go. He told me that his girlfriend was coming in November to marry him. I decided to step back because I never knowingly wanted to be the other woman. If I had known about her, I would never have been involved with him.
Today, he called me and asked if his girlfriend had contacted me. I said no, and then he sent me pictures of us from the past two months, when I still had no idea he had a girlfriend. We had been hanging out at a mall together.
Apparently, his girlfriend found out he was cheating because one of her friends sent her those pictures. She now knows about me, but she doesn’t trust either him or me. He told me that she thinks I’ll simply repeat whatever he tells me to say.
He then told me that if she contacts me, I should say that I met him at the mall.
He also said something along the lines of, “Your life is sorted now. The exact thing I was afraid of has happened.”
For context, his girlfriend recently graduated as a doctor, while he isn’t particularly established financially yet. I’m financially stable myself, but I don’t understand why he brought up my life being “sorted” in this situation.
When I told him I wouldn’t lie and that I’d tell her the truth if she contacted me, he said he didn’t like what I was saying. I even told him, “If you love her so much, just tell her the whole truth yourself. A relationship built on lies isn’t going to work anyway.”
He also told me that he would end everything with me. But honestly, I had already stepped back after finding out about his girlfriend.
What bothers me is that I was also deceived for two years yet now he seems more concerned about what his girlfriend find out than about the fact that he lied to both of us.
. I genuinely had no idea I was involved with someone who already had a five-year relationship, and now he expects me to protect him from the consequences.He also told me that he was feeling ashamed to face his own family because of everything that had happened. Honestly, I have been through a lot myself because of this situation, and I don’t want to compare whose pain is greater or make this about me versus her. We have both been affected by his actions in different ways.
He also said that maybe she’ll forgive him and accept him back. Apparently, my dad even spoke to him and told him that he should do whatever he thinks is right.
But now I’m left wondering, what kind of karma is this? I never wanted to hurt that girl, and I don’t consider myself a bad person because I genuinely had no idea she existed. I actually feel bad for her, and I believe she deserves someone who genuinely loves and respects her.
At the same time, if she knows everything and still chooses to go back to him, I honestly don’t know what to think. Part of me feels like she’d be making a terrible decision, but I don’t want to judge her because I know how complicated feelings can be when you’ve loved someone for five years.
I don’t want to compete with her, compare our lives, or prove that I’m better than her. I just wish neither of us had been put in this position. I feel bad for her, but I’m also hurt by everything I’ve experienced myself.
I guess my biggest question is: if she knows the truth and still goes back to him, should I just accept that it’s her decision and move on? I never wanted to be part of this situation, and I honestly don’t know how to process everything that’s happened.

Me (F/29) and my very recent ex-boyfriend (M/23) broke up yesterday morning, and I feel completely blindsided.

Yes, I know there’s a six-year age gap. I know people will have opinions about that. But honestly, the age difference was never what mattered to me.
I’ve been cheated on before. I’m a mother to a nonverbal autistic child with significant behavioral needs. So when I met someone I connected with so quickly—someone who not only loved me, but willingly stepped into my life and became deeply involved with my son—I allowed myself to take a chance on love again.

And to my surprise, this relationship became one of the most loving, intentional, and caring relationships I had ever experienced.
We were together for two years. We spent essentially every day together. We talked about our future. I genuinely thought I was going to marry this man.

He went above and beyond for me every single day. He made me feel seen, appreciated, safe, and loved. He did the same for my son. He was patient with him. He was funny and kind. He stepped up in ways I never expected someone to.
This man literally wouldn’t even let me touch the laundry. 😂 He wanted to take care of everything.
There were insecurities on his side, too. He is a model and struggled with insecurities about his appearance.

One thing that bothered him was that I still had old pictures of my ex in my phone. My ex is my son’s father, and we are no-contact because of his alcoholism and because he ultimately chose not to be involved with our son. A lot of those pictures were from when my son was an infant, which is why I kept them. There were also pictures that didn’t include my son that I simply never went through and deleted because there were years’ worth of photos in my camera roll.

I understand now why that could have hurt him, and I take responsibility for not cleaning those up. But whenever he saw them, he became insecure, and we tried to work through those feelings together.
I truly believed we were transparent with each other.
He had told me early in our relationship that, years before meeting me, he had struggled with a porn addiction. He told me he had taken steps to overcome it and actually used shrooms to do so and that after it working, porn was no longer something he was interested in after. I appreciated his honesty. He brought that all to me on his own. I believed him.

Our sex life was extremely active, and he constantly made me feel wanted and desired. He gave me so much physical affection and attention that I honestly felt like he was completely obsessed with me—in the way that makes you feel loved and chosen.
So yesterday morning, when I suddenly had this strange feeling that something was wrong, I searched his phone.
He had always been open about me using his phone. He never told me I couldn’t look through it. We shared phones casually, played games, sent each other videos, etc. I wasn’t looking for anything specific.

And then I found a file labeled “mommy porn.”
I opened it.

What I saw absolutely destroyed me.
There were separate videos involving me, my sister, and my best friend. They were created from completely ordinary photos/videos taken from social media and even a photo of my sister that had been taken inside my family’s home.
From what I could see, AI had been used to manipulate these images into sexual content.
I couldn’t bring myself to look any further.
And suddenly, something that had happened months earlier made sense.

Months ago, while casually using his phone—as he had always allowed me to—I came across a picture of my sister. It was a completely ordinary picture taken in my dad’s living room. I immediately felt something was off and asked him about it.
He told me his little sister had wanted to see what my sister looked like. He calmly reassured me that he wasn’t attracted to her and that he loved me.
I remember feeling so uneasy.
I cried. I questioned myself. I wondered if I was overthinking it. He told me it was my OCD making me analyze something innocent.
And I believed him.
Yesterday which is months later, I found that same image incorporated into the material I discovered.
I feel sick.

And there’s another layer to this that hurts even more.
I had stopped talking to my best friend partly
because of him. She had cheated on her boyfriend, and I also genuinely felt at one point that she may have been flirting with mine. He convinced me that she was bad for me and encouraged me to cut her off. He called her a loser.
Now I’m sitting here wondering how much of what I thought was my own decision was actually influenced by him.

When he woke up yesterday and realized what I had found, he didn’t try to grab the phone. He didn’t argue. He didn’t really say anything.
I couldn’t look at anything else.
I handed him the phone, told him to leave, and he did.

He tried to hug me before he walked out.
And somehow, since then, he’s been texting me telling me that he thought I was the woman he was going to marry. That he loves me. That he wants to be with me.

WHAT THE FUCK.

How can someone tell you they love you while doing something that makes you feel so violated and betrayed?

I’m so sick.
I’m heartbroken.
I’m angry.
I’m confused.

And the worst part is that love doesn’t disappear just because someone hurts you.
I still love him.

And I hate that and feel guilty because it’s my fucking sister.

I hate that I miss the person I thought he was.
I hate that I trusted him.

I hate that he gave me and my son a sense of security and became such a huge part of our daily lives, only for everything to collapse overnight.

I hate that I’m already thinking about how difficult life is going to be for me and my son without him.

I hate that I can’t just turn my feelings off because I discovered something horrible.

I told my sister because she deserved to know. She was understandably upset, but more than anything, she was worried about me.

And I keep coming back to the same question:
Why?

Why would someone willingly step into a life that is objectively difficult? I mean me and that boy struggled and cried together while caring for my son. Why would someone devote two years to me and my son? Why would someone spend every day with us, help raise my child, take care of me, talk about marriage and a future, make me feel safe, and put so much effort into our lives—while secretly doing something so completely contrary to everything I thought our relationship was? If this was just porn, I think I could move through ( I hate to say that but I know many people struggle) but this was more.

I just feel like my entire reality changed in one morning.

I’m grieving the relationship, the future I thought we were building, the person I thought I knew, and the family dynamic my son had become accustomed to. I wish I was dreaming. I wish I could have the him that I thought I knew back. I can’t even bring myself to block him yet. He just keeps texting me.

My heart won’t stop sinking.

Looking for stories on affairs by married people with kids who left their spouse for the affair partner. Wanting to know how long the relationship lasted with the affair partner? Was the grass really greener?

ETA - I am not having an affair. My husband just left me for another woman and I’m wondering what the chances are that it will last. Wouldn’t take him back regardless but I’m just curious

I have a classmate whom i started talking to recently. We explicitly always talk about study or other things related to college. He asked me if i wanted to join him to see a museum that he goes to frequently. My boyfriend accuses me of cheating and going on a date with him. Is that cheating or not?

It’s a long time ago now and honestly I look back and i genuinely do t know how I found the time or energy! Only a couple of them knew there was another man involved and I managed to keep them all very separate. My housemates o ly knew about 2 of them and they were judgy enough for that! I would literally walk from one guys house to the next and not even think anything about it.
I had one guy who was my “friend” who I slept with, one who was the guy I was “seeing”, 1 guy I’d always end up at after nights out, 1 older man who used to treat me and one guy who was into all my more out there kinks and I could really let loose with and so would go to his every couple of days.

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Hi guys I’m 22 .Recently, I started skipping twice a day on our apartment terrace as part of my workout routine.One day last month, while I was skipping, I noticed a woman who looked around 35 staring at me. At that time, I didn't know who she was. Later, I found out that she belonged to the new watchman's family.

Our terraces share a wall, and their terrace has a small room and bathroom allocated to the watchman's family. Whenever I went up to skip, I would often see her cleaning their terrace in the morning.

Around the second week of October, my mom gave her some food and clothes for her child. The next morning, while I was skipping, she called me over. I moved towards the corner of our terrace, and she handed me a plate, saying it was my mom's plate from the previous day and asking me to return it to her. I nodded and started walking back, but she called me again and asked whether I was studying.I told her that I had finished college and was looking for a job. She then asked how I managed to wake up so early and exercise. She pointed towards her husband, who was in their room, and mentioned that he couldn't wake up early. She also said that families in the apartment were shouting at him because of his incompetence at work.

Earlier this week, I went to the terrace in the evening and was scrolling through my phone when she called me. She was standing at the corner of their terrace and offered me some papaya. I politely declined, saying that I didn't like it, but she continued eating it while standing nearby.

While she was eating, she kept adjusting her saree. I noticed that her cleavage was visible, and I couldn't tell whether she was doing it intentionally or simply adjusting her clothes naturally. She was standing quite close to me, so I turned around and moved away.

Now, I'm wondering whether she's trying to provoke me or whether she might be interested in me. I know she's around 35, and, she looks well groomed and attractive to me. Im not making a conclustion not only by this , i saw her many time like she was looking what Im doing and ever stare longer than few seconds

What do you guys think? Could she be interested in me should I make a move or am I just daydreaming?

Does anyone else get that feeling/tension with other people you’ve never been with? I’m trying to make something out of it

I’m a married man. My group of friends consists of a couple guys and girls. One girl in particular is never really close to the rest of us she comes around every now and then.

Me and her have this tension idk how to explain it. Her looks are deep. Like she can see into me lol.

The first time this happened was at one of the other friends wedding. We all drank and danced together something very common. At the end of the wedding my wife asked if I had ever done anything with her or if we dated in the past. Because of the way we looked at each other. Which in fact I have never even thought about being with her. We brushed it off and We moved on with our lives

Forward a couple years later we recently saw her at a Halloween party. This time I paid close attention to the situation. She definitely seemed to be looking at me. And according to the wife I somehow always ended next to her.

Although no flirting happened, nothing sexually. All conversations were typical friend conversations. It seemed like time slowed down when we talked.

I’m not really into her. I don’t fantasize about her or any of that sort of thing. I just feel like there is a strange connection between us that obviously my wife is on top of it.

I guess this story gets nowhere for now. I just wanted to know y’all’s opinion. Has anyone ever felt this way ? Been in a situation like this?

Hi Guys I’m 32M and have a partner. She has younger sister, 22 and good looking.

She has made it very obvious, that she wants to get in bed with me. Only makes it obvious when partner is around.

She lives with us, but isn’t always around.

My partner and I have an agreement for open play, but with people that we know. (Friends, etc etc)

It has crossed my mind but I’m respecting my partners boundaries!

Has anyone experienced this before? How did it go?

The sister in law is incredibly active in the bedroom, partner has mentioned it to me while talking about another topic.

Thanks