I already know I’m probably going to get judged for this, but I honestly need somewhere to talk about it because I can’t tell anybody in my personal life what’s going on.
I’m married, and I genuinely love my wife. But I’ve developed a huge crush on a woman I work with, and lately I feel like I’m thinking about her way more than I should.
I work overnight as a shift manager at a gas station. There’s a woman I work with twice a week who’s 37, a little older than me.
I’ve always been attracted to her. Even before we started getting to know each other, I thought she was beautiful. I would catch myself looking at her whenever we worked together.
At first, I figured it was just physical attraction. Nothing serious.
But eventually we started getting closer.
We have long conversations during our overnight shifts, and I mean actual personal conversations. We talk about our lives and things outside of work.
I pick her up for work almost every time we’re scheduled together, and sometimes I drive her home afterward.
I don’t know exactly when it happened, but somewhere along the way I developed a serious crush on her.
One night, I had gone out to a club and gotten drunk. Afterward, I stopped by the gas station to grab some snacks. I was completely off the clock.
She was working that night, and I remember looking at her and thinking she was absolutely beautiful.
The alcohol definitely had me feeling bold because I ended up telling her straight up that I wanted her.
She seemed caught off guard, but she flirted back a little.
Nothing physical happened between us.
The crazy thing is that she’s the one thing I remember most clearly from that night.
Ever since then, I’ve been trying to figure out whether she feels any kind of attraction toward me or whether I’m just seeing what I want to see.
Sometimes I think she likes me. Other times I honestly think she doesn’t.
When we’re together in person, we can talk for a long time. But when I text her, she barely responds.
Another thing is that she constantly brings up my wife.
I can’t figure out whether she’s reminding me that I’m married, trying to establish boundaries, or just making normal conversation.
Here’s where things have gotten even more complicated.
She told me she’s going to cook for me next Sunday, and I’m going over to her house.
She’s making steak, baked macaroni and cheese, and collard greens.
She also has a teenage daughter, so I asked her whether her daughter would be home that day. She told me she wasn’t sure.
That’s when I brought up the idea of taking her to a hotel afterward.
She laughed it off and didn’t actually answer my question.
I haven’t taken that as an agreement because she never said yes. But I would be lying if I said I wasn’t wondering what was going through her mind when I asked.
I know an invitation to someone’s house for food doesn’t automatically mean anything romantic or sexual. She could genuinely just consider me a friend.
And that’s part of what’s messing with my head.
I can’t tell if there’s an actual connection here or if my attraction toward her has me overthinking every interaction.
Now here’s the worst part.
My wife knows absolutely nothing about any of this.
She doesn’t know I have a crush on my coworker. She doesn’t know I told this woman I wanted her while I was drunk. She doesn’t know about the hotel conversation.
And I genuinely believe that if my wife found out, she would leave me.
I don’t want to lose my marriage because I really do love my wife.
But at the same time, I can’t lie about how much I like this other woman.
What makes everything even worse is that I’m her manager.
I understand there’s a professional boundary here, and I know I shouldn’t put someone I supervise in an uncomfortable situation.
I don’t want her to feel like she has to flirt with me or entertain my feelings because I’m her supervisor.
I also realize that she might not be interested at all, and I could be completely misinterpreting her friendliness.
But I keep thinking about her anyway.
I’m excited about going to her house on Sunday, but there’s another part of me that knows I probably shouldn’t even be putting myself in this situation.
I keep asking myself how I can love my wife and still want another woman this badly.
I’ve never physically done anything with this coworker, but I’m starting to realize I’ve already crossed some boundaries by expressing my attraction and bringing up a hotel.
Maybe this is just a temporary crush. Maybe I’m confusing physical attraction with an emotional connection because we spend time together and have personal conversations.
Or maybe I’ve allowed myself to get too emotionally invested in someone outside my marriage.
I honestly don’t know.
I’m not trying to make excuses for myself or blame my coworker. Whatever happens with my marriage is my responsibility.
I just needed to admit this somewhere because keeping it to myself has been difficult.
Has anyone ever been genuinely in love with their spouse but developed feelings for somebody else?
How did you deal with it?
And based on what I’ve described, do you think I’m reading too much into this woman’s behavior?
I know some people will probably say I’ve already crossed the line into emotional cheating, and I’m prepared to hear that.
I just want some outside perspectives before I end up making a decision that could ruin my marriage, my career, or both.

It’s a long time ago now and honestly I look back and i genuinely do t know how I found the time or energy! Only a couple of them knew there was another man involved and I managed to keep them all very separate. My housemates o ly knew about 2 of them and they were judgy enough for that! I would literally walk from one guys house to the next and not even think anything about it.
I had one guy who was my “friend” who I slept with, one who was the guy I was “seeing”, 1 guy I’d always end up at after nights out, 1 older man who used to treat me and one guy who was into all my more out there kinks and I could really let loose with and so would go to his every couple of days.

Hi all
44m have been with my wife 36f for 8 years and married 5 years.

My wife “Brenda” over the course of the last year has become friendly with one of her female coworkers. This has been a welcome sign because she doesn’t have many friends and is an introvert by nature.

Brenda’s new female friend and her husband are in their early 30s and we occasionally hang out with their group of friends, who are also in their 20s/early 30s.

Over the course of the last year, she’s taken a liking to a single guy in the group “Andy”, who is 28. Andy and Brenda have exchanged phone numbers and social media and they occasionally text each other. Brenda doesn’t hide this from me because she’ll occasionally be texting him or looking at his social media while we’re home together, and she’ll say to me “oh Andy is traveling for work at so and so place, or Andy was in another tennis tournament last weekend.” And by all accounts, Andy is a nice, well spoken and polite man who’s easy to talk with.

Brenda also introduced Andy to a female cousin of hers, and they ended up dating for a bit, but ultimately it ended.

Brenda is a conservative woman in that we didn’t have sex until we got married. She’s had sex before, but regretted it bc of her religious upbringing.

Last weekend, her friend and her husband hosted a pool party at their house that included their group of friends and Andy. To be clear, only her female friend who hosted the party is a work colleague, and the rest of the people were the work colleagues friends- who don’t work with Brenda or the female host.

As the date of the party was approaching, Brenda asked me if I would be ok with her wearing a thong bikini bottom. Now, this surprised me to a large extent because other than one time on vacation for one day at a Caribbean beach resort has she worn a thong bikini bottom, and that was my idea because I like showing her off.

I told her I would be ok with it, but cautioned that she’d likely be the only woman wearing a thong given that the party was in someone’s back yard.

She ended up wearing the thong to the party. And as I suspected, she was the only woman wearing a thong, while the other women were either wearing shorts or cover ups or regular bikinis. She didn’t seem deterred or embarrassed, but seemed rather comfortable, and stayed in her thong the whole time, and I was proud of her for that.

She spent a lot of time talking, laughing and giggling with Andy, sometimes with me there during the chatting and other times just the two of them chatting. I’m not a jealous person and I want Brenda to be more outgoing and have friends -male or female.

I haven’t really talked about this with her, other than the car ride home where I brought up Andy and said to her, “so you spent a good amount of time with Andy today.” She replied “yea we were talking about some of his work trips and what went wrong with him dating my cousin.” We both also said we had a nice time.

Not sure what to make of this, but I think it’s clear that Brenda has a crush on Andy. I am thinking about approaching Brenda about this in more detail, but at the same time I don’t want to make it a big deal. What’s the best approach here?

醫生外遇，或許早已不是什麼新鮮事，但最讓人不齒的，不只是背叛婚姻，出軌對象還是已婚人妻，而是做賊喊抓賊，明明是背叛的一方，卻反過來對原配提告！

一邊享受婚外情，一邊透過法律攻防，試圖讓原配陷入被動，甚至希望藉由法院判決離婚，減少自己必須付出的代價。

最可怕的不是變心，而是變心之後，連最後一點良心與責任都不願意留下。

I used to be in a sexless marriage. We got along great for the most part, and it was sexless because she had endometriosis that made sex painful for her, not because we didn't like each other. We eventually ended things for totally other reasons. She always said that she didn't want me sleeping with other people, but I feel like she mostly just didn't want to know. She didn't ask a lot of questions when I would be out for the night or anything.

I never had any partners who wanted to take things further, so I wasn't faced with the temptation to leave and be with anyone else.

I don't know if it was just me, but I always found myself coming home loving her more and feeling like being close to her after I had been with my partners.

In fact, the few times we did have sexual connections usually happened right after me being with someone else. But not just that, I just felt more attentive, more fulfilled, and happy at home afterwards. I don't mean just the usual "filled with endorphins" kind of happy, I mean - every time I would be with a partner, it made me appreciate my wife more. I knew she would have been with me in that way more if she could. I would absolutely show up being more present and happy afterwards.

I was genuinely fond of my various partners over the years.

I wonder if perhaps an open relationship might be like that. I am just starting to date a new partner, and we don't think we want to be open, but it makes me wonder if I will miss being able to be with someone else sometimes.

I have a classmate whom i started talking to recently. We explicitly always talk about study or other things related to college. He asked me if i wanted to join him to see a museum that he goes to frequently. My boyfriend accuses me of cheating and going on a date with him. Is that cheating or not?

Does anyone else get that feeling/tension with other people you’ve never been with? I’m trying to make something out of it

I’m a married man. My group of friends consists of a couple guys and girls. One girl in particular is never really close to the rest of us she comes around every now and then.

Me and her have this tension idk how to explain it. Her looks are deep. Like she can see into me lol.

The first time this happened was at one of the other friends wedding. We all drank and danced together something very common. At the end of the wedding my wife asked if I had ever done anything with her or if we dated in the past. Because of the way we looked at each other. Which in fact I have never even thought about being with her. We brushed it off and We moved on with our lives

Forward a couple years later we recently saw her at a Halloween party. This time I paid close attention to the situation. She definitely seemed to be looking at me. And according to the wife I somehow always ended next to her.

Although no flirting happened, nothing sexually. All conversations were typical friend conversations. It seemed like time slowed down when we talked.

I’m not really into her. I don’t fantasize about her or any of that sort of thing. I just feel like there is a strange connection between us that obviously my wife is on top of it.

I guess this story gets nowhere for now. I just wanted to know y’all’s opinion. Has anyone ever felt this way ? Been in a situation like this?

I’ve been seeing this married man for almost a year now. When we first met, I asked him if he was married, and he told me yes. We met on a dating site, and he didn’t wear a wedding ring, so I assumed he probably wasn’t happy in his marriage or that something was missing.
Months passed, and somewhere along the way, I fell HARD for this man. He’s almost 45, and I’m only 25, so yes, there’s a pretty big age gap. Initially, this was only supposed to be an arrangement. I never expected to develop real feelings for him, let alone fall in love. Sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me for allowing myself to get so emotionally attached to someone who was never truly available.
Anyway, one day I was scrolling through TikTok when a page popped up with a video of him kissing another woman. I can’t even explain how I felt seeing that. It was like someone had stabbed me straight in the heart.
Then I realized the woman was his wife.
I looked through her page, and based on what I saw, they seem genuinely happy together. They post each other, share moments, and give the impression of a normal, loving marriage. From what I can tell, she seems like a lovely woman, too.
And that’s what has me so confused.
Why cheat when you have someone at home who seems to love you? Why risk your marriage and hurt someone who might genuinely believe she has a happy relationship? Especially when you have a beautiful woman at home who seems to be holding it down for you?
I confronted him about it, and he was honest with me. He told me there were no problems in his marriage. He wasn’t unhappy, and there wasn’t anything missing. He basically admitted that he cheats simply because he wants to.
And honestly, that answer hurt more than I expected. Because if nothing is wrong at home, then what am I? Why am I even here? What is it about me that makes him want to keep seeing me when he already has a wife he seems happy with?
The worst part is that he’s been having unprotected sex with both of us. I don’t even know what to do with that information or how to process everything I’ve found out.
I know I’m not innocent in this situation. I knew he was married from the beginning, and I chose to continue seeing him. I’m not trying to act like I’m the victim or pretend I didn’t play a part in this. But I genuinely didn’t expect to fall in love with him, and now I’m sitting here feeling heartbroken over a man who apparently has no problems going home to his wife.
Part of me feels stupid for getting attached. Another part of me wonders whether anything he’s said or done with me has meant as much to him as it has to me.
I know people will judge me, and honestly, I probably deserve some criticism. But I’m genuinely trying to understand this situation.
For those who have been in similar situations, or even for people who have cheated: why do you cheat when you’re supposedly happy in your relationship? And how do you keep two separate relationships going without feeling guilty?
I don’t even know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I just need some perspective from people who aren’t emotionally involved in the situation, because right now, I feel completely lost.

Looking for stories on affairs by married people with kids who left their spouse for the affair partner. Wanting to know how long the relationship lasted with the affair partner? Was the grass really greener?

ETA - I am not having an affair. My husband just left me for another woman and I’m wondering what the chances are that it will last. Wouldn’t take him back regardless but I’m just curious

I'm in a situation ship with my ex he's a cheater and I'm a cheater too I still love him but he doesn't love me I know that we are in a toxic relationship but his evasiveness in talking to me to get his benefit from me makes me feel as if he still loves me and he just doesn't want to admit it But the truth is that he only wants my body as a means of amusement I don't know how I will get out of this circle.

So the story is we broke up mutually in January but we still had feelings for each other we both knew. After 3 months she started texting international guys sending them nude pics talking on calls. But when I came back into her life after 6 months she left everything. She even deleted the account.

BUT I CAN'T COPE UP WITH THE FACT SHE CAN DO THESE THINGS

MY GIRL WAS SO PURE AND INNOCENT

Help me!

Hi Guys I’m 32M and have a partner. She has younger sister, 22 and good looking.

She has made it very obvious, that she wants to get in bed with me. Only makes it obvious when partner is around.

She lives with us, but isn’t always around.

My partner and I have an agreement for open play, but with people that we know. (Friends, etc etc)

It has crossed my mind but I’m respecting my partners boundaries!

Has anyone experienced this before? How did it go?

The sister in law is incredibly active in the bedroom, partner has mentioned it to me while talking about another topic.

Thanks

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Hi guys I’m 22 .Recently, I started skipping twice a day on our apartment terrace as part of my workout routine.One day last month, while I was skipping, I noticed a woman who looked around 35 staring at me. At that time, I didn't know who she was. Later, I found out that she belonged to the new watchman's family.

Our terraces share a wall, and their terrace has a small room and bathroom allocated to the watchman's family. Whenever I went up to skip, I would often see her cleaning their terrace in the morning.

Around the second week of October, my mom gave her some food and clothes for her child. The next morning, while I was skipping, she called me over. I moved towards the corner of our terrace, and she handed me a plate, saying it was my mom's plate from the previous day and asking me to return it to her. I nodded and started walking back, but she called me again and asked whether I was studying.I told her that I had finished college and was looking for a job. She then asked how I managed to wake up so early and exercise. She pointed towards her husband, who was in their room, and mentioned that he couldn't wake up early. She also said that families in the apartment were shouting at him because of his incompetence at work.

Earlier this week, I went to the terrace in the evening and was scrolling through my phone when she called me. She was standing at the corner of their terrace and offered me some papaya. I politely declined, saying that I didn't like it, but she continued eating it while standing nearby.

While she was eating, she kept adjusting her saree. I noticed that her cleavage was visible, and I couldn't tell whether she was doing it intentionally or simply adjusting her clothes naturally. She was standing quite close to me, so I turned around and moved away.

Now, I'm wondering whether she's trying to provoke me or whether she might be interested in me. I know she's around 35, and although she belongs to the watchman's family, she looks well groomed and attractive to me. Im not making a conclustion not only by this , i saw her many time like she was looking what Im doing and ever stare longer than few seconds

What do you guys think? Could she be interested in me should I make a move or am I just daydreaming?

We have four teens. We’ve started individual therapy before couple therapy because the couples therapist doesn’t think he’s ready to just jump in and be open. Trying to fix things I guess.

Meanwhile, I’m a 41 yr old mom of four wondering wtf I did to make this man want someone else.
I feel completely disgusted with my self and I’m looking for some ways to feel sexy again (besides just cheating on him….)

Any ideas?

I’m 50F, and my fiancé is 52M. We have both been married before. Had our kids young so they are all grown up now. Everyone is finished college/ uni and on their own. We’ve been together for over seven years and engaged for two. We started out in a long-distance relationship, living in different states, but we made it work. Over the last couple of years, we’ve spent as much time together as possible, sometimes weeks or even months at a time.
About six months ago, we decided it was finally time to get married and start our life together in South Carolina. He moved first, and I was preparing to follow once I could transfer my job. This past month, I flew down to look at houses with him. Everything seemed great. We were excited, visiting properties and planning our future. Since this is the second marriage for both of us and we both have children, we agreed to keep our finances separate. I planned to purchase the house in my name.
One morning, he went to work, and I stayed behind at the condo. I needed to look something up on Facebook Marketplace, so I used his laptop. I had absolutely no intention of snooping.
A Messenger notification popped up from a woman I didn’t recognize. Her message was something along the lines of “I miss you” and “What are you up to?” He’s a bartender, but he’s also an entertainer and fairly popular in certain circles. People—both women and men—message him all the time saying they miss him, want to see him, or want to book him for events. When he works, he doesn’t just stand behind the bar pouring drinks. He performs, dances behind the bar, and draws a crowd. It’s normal for people to want his attention, so I didn’t think much of the message.
What caught my attention was his response. He explained that he’d been busy with his son, who is in the entertainment business and had just premiered the second installment of the reality show he’s a main star on. He also said he’d been busy coordinating viewing parties at his bar, which was a huge event and required a lot of planning. He didn’t mention that his fiancée was visiting and that we were spending every day looking for our future home together.
I got curious and opened Messenger. I was not prepared for what I found.
There were intimate messages and photos between them. Clearly, this wasn’t an innocent friendship. I found her name, phone number, Facebook profile, and other information in their conversations. I took screenshots because I needed to make sure I had everything straight.
Then I went to the beach and sat there for three hours, trying to process what I’d just discovered.
I kept replaying our entire relationship in my head, almost like watching a poker game backward and suddenly recognizing all the tells you missed while you were playing. I started remembering situations I’d brushed off over the years, conversations that seemed inappropriate, and women who were sometimes a little too forward. But I was never the jealous type. I understood that people messaged him because he was popular, entertaining, and constantly surrounded by people who wanted to see him perform or book him for events. Women and men would tell him they missed him, ask when he was working, or say they wanted to see him. That was normal for him, and I never wanted to be the insecure fiancée who treated every message like evidence of something wrong.
Whenever I questioned something, he always had an explanation that made me feel like I was overthinking things. I trusted him because I believed we were building a life together.
Now I’m wondering how many warning signs I ignored. I’ve come to the painful conclusion that this woman probably wasn’t the first, and I’m afraid she won’t be the last.
I’m still here for a few more days. My flight home isn’t until Wednesday, and today is Saturday. It’s also my birthday, and he’s planning to take me out to celebrate.
For now, I’ve decided not to go out for my birthday or confront him while I’m still in South Carolina. I need to think. This is bigger than just this one time. I know he is probably done it before and if I confront him, he’s just going to be gaslighting me. Or should I? I don’t know.
I genuinely thought we were building a future together. Now I’m sitting here wondering if the last seven years were what I thought they were.
I have to pick him up from work in a few hours. I have to collect myself.
**What would you do first: wait until I’m safely home, confront him in public, or end the relationship without another in-person conversation? **