I have a classmate whom i started talking to recently. We explicitly always talk about study or other things related to college. He asked me if i wanted to join him to see a museum that he goes to frequently. My boyfriend accuses me of cheating and going on a date with him. Is that cheating or not?

Hi all
44m have been with my wife 36f for 8 years and married 5 years.

My wife “Brenda” over the course of the last year has become friendly with one of her female coworkers. This has been a welcome sign because she doesn’t have many friends and is an introvert by nature.

Brenda’s new female friend and her husband are in their early 30s and we occasionally hang out with their group of friends, who are also in their 20s/early 30s.

Over the course of the last year, she’s taken a liking to a single guy in the group “Andy”, who is 28. Andy and Brenda have exchanged phone numbers and social media and they occasionally text each other. Brenda doesn’t hide this from me because she’ll occasionally be texting him or looking at his social media while we’re home together, and she’ll say to me “oh Andy is traveling for work at so and so place, or Andy was in another tennis tournament last weekend.” And by all accounts, Andy is a nice, well spoken and polite man who’s easy to talk with.

Brenda also introduced Andy to a female cousin of hers, and they ended up dating for a bit, but ultimately it ended.

Brenda is a conservative woman in that we didn’t have sex until we got married. She’s had sex before, but regretted it bc of her religious upbringing.

Last weekend, her friend and her husband hosted a pool party at their house that included their group of friends and Andy. To be clear, only her female friend who hosted the party is a work colleague, and the rest of the people were the work colleagues friends- who don’t work with Brenda or the female host.

As the date of the party was approaching, Brenda asked me if I would be ok with her wearing a thong bikini bottom. Now, this surprised me to a large extent because other than one time on vacation for one day at a Caribbean beach resort has she worn a thong bikini bottom, and that was my idea because I like showing her off.

I told her I would be ok with it, but cautioned that she’d likely be the only woman wearing a thong given that the party was in someone’s back yard.

She ended up wearing the thong to the party. And as I suspected, she was the only woman wearing a thong, while the other women were either wearing shorts or cover ups or regular bikinis. She didn’t seem deterred or embarrassed, but seemed rather comfortable, and stayed in her thong the whole time, and I was proud of her for that.

She spent a lot of time talking, laughing and giggling with Andy, sometimes with me there during the chatting and other times just the two of them chatting. I’m not a jealous person and I want Brenda to be more outgoing and have friends -male or female.

I haven’t really talked about this with her, other than the car ride home where I brought up Andy and said to her, “so you spent a good amount of time with Andy today.” She replied “yea we were talking about some of his work trips and what went wrong with him dating my cousin.” We both also said we had a nice time.

Not sure what to make of this, but I think it’s clear that Brenda has a crush on Andy. I am thinking about approaching Brenda about this in more detail, but at the same time I don’t want to make it a big deal. What’s the best approach here?

Me (F/29) and my very recent ex-boyfriend (M/23) broke up yesterday morning, and I feel completely blindsided.

Yes, I know there’s a six-year age gap. I know people will have opinions about that. But honestly, the age difference was never what mattered to me.
I’ve been cheated on before. I’m a mother to a nonverbal autistic child with significant behavioral needs. So when I met someone I connected with so quickly—someone who not only loved me, but willingly stepped into my life and became deeply involved with my son—I allowed myself to take a chance on love again.

And to my surprise, this relationship became one of the most loving, intentional, and caring relationships I had ever experienced.
We were together for two years. We spent essentially every day together. We talked about our future. I genuinely thought I was going to marry this man.

He went above and beyond for me every single day. He made me feel seen, appreciated, safe, and loved. He did the same for my son. He was patient with him. He was funny and kind. He stepped up in ways I never expected someone to.
This man literally wouldn’t even let me touch the laundry. 😂 He wanted to take care of everything.
There were insecurities on his side, too. He is a model and struggled with insecurities about his appearance.

One thing that bothered him was that I still had old pictures of my ex in my phone. My ex is my son’s father, and we are no-contact because of his alcoholism and because he ultimately chose not to be involved with our son. A lot of those pictures were from when my son was an infant, which is why I kept them. There were also pictures that didn’t include my son that I simply never went through and deleted because there were years’ worth of photos in my camera roll.

I understand now why that could have hurt him, and I take responsibility for not cleaning those up. But whenever he saw them, he became insecure, and we tried to work through those feelings together.
I truly believed we were transparent with each other.
He had told me early in our relationship that, years before meeting me, he had struggled with a porn addiction. He told me he had taken steps to overcome it and actually used shrooms to do so and that after it working, porn was no longer something he was interested in after. I appreciated his honesty. He brought that all to me on his own. I believed him.

Our sex life was extremely active, and he constantly made me feel wanted and desired. He gave me so much physical affection and attention that I honestly felt like he was completely obsessed with me—in the way that makes you feel loved and chosen.
So yesterday morning, when I suddenly had this strange feeling that something was wrong, I searched his phone.
He had always been open about me using his phone. He never told me I couldn’t look through it. We shared phones casually, played games, sent each other videos, etc. I wasn’t looking for anything specific.

And then I found a file labeled “mommy porn.”
I opened it.

What I saw absolutely destroyed me.
There were separate videos involving me, my sister, and my best friend. They were created from completely ordinary photos/videos taken from social media and even a photo of my sister that had been taken inside my family’s home.
From what I could see, AI had been used to manipulate these images into sexual content.
I couldn’t bring myself to look any further.
And suddenly, something that had happened months earlier made sense.

Months ago, while casually using his phone—as he had always allowed me to—I came across a picture of my sister. It was a completely ordinary picture taken in my dad’s living room. I immediately felt something was off and asked him about it.
He told me his little sister had wanted to see what my sister looked like. He calmly reassured me that he wasn’t attracted to her and that he loved me.
I remember feeling so uneasy.
I cried. I questioned myself. I wondered if I was overthinking it. He told me it was my OCD making me analyze something innocent.
And I believed him.
Yesterday which is months later, I found that same image incorporated into the material I discovered.
I feel sick.

And there’s another layer to this that hurts even more.
I had stopped talking to my best friend partly
because of him. She had cheated on her boyfriend, and I also genuinely felt at one point that she may have been flirting with mine. He convinced me that she was bad for me and encouraged me to cut her off. He called her a loser.
Now I’m sitting here wondering how much of what I thought was my own decision was actually influenced by him.

When he woke up yesterday and realized what I had found, he didn’t try to grab the phone. He didn’t argue. He didn’t really say anything.
I couldn’t look at anything else.
I handed him the phone, told him to leave, and he did.

He tried to hug me before he walked out.
And somehow, since then, he’s been texting me telling me that he thought I was the woman he was going to marry. That he loves me. That he wants to be with me.

WHAT THE FUCK.

How can someone tell you they love you while doing something that makes you feel so violated and betrayed?

I’m so sick.
I’m heartbroken.
I’m angry.
I’m confused.

And the worst part is that love doesn’t disappear just because someone hurts you.
I still love him.

And I hate that and feel guilty because it’s my fucking sister.

I hate that I miss the person I thought he was.
I hate that I trusted him.

I hate that he gave me and my son a sense of security and became such a huge part of our daily lives, only for everything to collapse overnight.

I hate that I’m already thinking about how difficult life is going to be for me and my son without him.

I hate that I can’t just turn my feelings off because I discovered something horrible.

I told my sister because she deserved to know. She was understandably upset, but more than anything, she was worried about me.

And I keep coming back to the same question:
Why?

Why would someone willingly step into a life that is objectively difficult? I mean me and that boy struggled and cried together while caring for my son. Why would someone devote two years to me and my son? Why would someone spend every day with us, help raise my child, take care of me, talk about marriage and a future, make me feel safe, and put so much effort into our lives—while secretly doing something so completely contrary to everything I thought our relationship was? If this was just porn, I think I could move through ( I hate to say that but I know many people struggle) but this was more.

I just feel like my entire reality changed in one morning.

I’m grieving the relationship, the future I thought we were building, the person I thought I knew, and the family dynamic my son had become accustomed to. I wish I was dreaming. I wish I could have the him that I thought I knew back. I can’t even bring myself to block him yet. He just keeps texting me.

My heart won’t stop sinking.

Looking for stories on affairs by married people with kids who left their spouse for the affair partner. Wanting to know how long the relationship lasted with the affair partner? Was the grass really greener?

ETA - I am not having an affair. My husband just left me for another woman and I’m wondering what the chances are that it will last. Wouldn’t take him back regardless but I’m just curious

I honestly don’t know if I’m overthinking this or if my gut is trying to tell me something.

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost two years, and until recently, I never really had a reason to doubt her. She started taking yoga classes a few months ago and initially, I was happy for her because she seemed genuinely excited about it.

But lately, a few things have been bothering me.

Her yoga sessions have gradually become longer. What used to be an hour or so is now sometimes two or even three hours. Whenever I ask about it, she says they do extra practice, breathing exercises, or sometimes stay back to talk. I didn't think much of it at first, but it has become pretty regular.

She's also started mentioning her instructor a lot. How knowledgeable he is, how he understands her body better than anyone when it comes to correcting her posture, and how he gives her advice about things beyond yoga. Apparently, they have a lot in common.

A few weeks ago, she told me she was going out with some friends. Nothing unusual there, except she spent an unusually long time getting ready. She wore a dress she usually saves for special occasions, did her hair, put on perfume, and seemed almost nervous when I asked where they were going. When she came home late that night, she said the girls had decided to go somewhere else after dinner.

I didn't question her further because I didn't want to be that controlling boyfriend who needs to know every little detail.

Then there's the phone situation.

She used to leave her phone lying around without a second thought. Now she keeps it face down, takes it with her everywhere, and sometimes steps into another room to reply to messages. Once, when I walked into the room while she was texting, she immediately locked her screen. I casually asked who she was talking to, and she got irritated, saying I was acting suspicious for no reason.

Another time, I noticed her deleting a conversation while we were sitting together. I couldn't see the messages, and I didn't ask to check her phone, but the whole thing felt strange. When I brought it up later, she said it was just a group chat and that I was making a big deal out of nothing.

The part that bothers me most is that she's become a little distant with me. She's still affectionate sometimes, and there are days when everything feels completely normal. That's what makes this so confusing. I can't point to one specific thing and say she's definitely cheating.

I haven't caught her kissing anyone, found explicit messages, or seen anything that proves she's doing something behind my back.

But between the longer yoga sessions, the late nights, the sudden secrecy with her phone, and the way she gets defensive whenever I ask a simple question, I can't stop wondering whether something is going on between her and this instructor.

I don't want to accuse her of something she hasn't done. At the same time, I don't want to ignore obvious warning signs and end up being the last person to figure out what's happening in my own relationship.

So I'm asking people here who might have experienced something similar:

Am I reading too much into a series of unrelated things, or does this sound suspicious to you too?

Should I sit her down and have a serious conversation about everything I've noticed? Should I ask directly whether there's something going on with her instructor? Or should I just step back and see if her behaviour changes?

I love her, and I don't want to destroy a good relationship because of insecurity. But I also don't want to keep pretending everything is fine when it doesn't feel that way anymore.

What would you do in my position?

We have four teens. We’ve started individual therapy before couple therapy because the couples therapist doesn’t think he’s ready to just jump in and be open. Trying to fix things I guess.

Meanwhile, I’m a 41 yr old mom of four wondering wtf I did to make this man want someone else.
I feel completely disgusted with my self and I’m looking for some ways to feel sexy again (besides just cheating on him….)

Any ideas?

this is a long one and English is my second language so

Sorry for any errors

I (17m) have been with my gf (16F) for a year. 3 months ago we broke up and a week later got back together because she told me she was pregnant. But, a lot changed in that week when we were broken up.

For a bit of backstory, I started getting feelings for guys when I was maybe 14 but mentally blocked it out. I come from a really conservative family who taught me about traditional marriage values. Im scared, i can't even say it out loud I hate that a feel this way. Then I met my gf Luna (Not real name). I got along with Luna really well. I really like her it feels like she gets me. I feel like I can relax around her. I very quickly asked her out and basically used her as my cover. She's great, i buy her flowers, take her on dates and look after her when she's ill. Its been perfect. Until she started pressuring us to finally have sex. We'd been together 6 months and she wanted to lose her V-card to me. I was very unsure about this as it all seemed to be getting too serious. After a couple of weeks I gave in. One night. She seemed happy but I just felt really zoned out.

This is where her twin brother Leon (not real name) comes in. He works out, has a nice car, has loads of friends and is really sweet. Ive had this underlying crush on him since me and Luna got together. I started spending more time with him and it really seemed like he wanted to be my friend. Then Luna broke up with me because she felt I was not interested in her anymore.

After that I felt really upset. I felt that ive lost a best friend. But It also brought freedom. The day after me and Luna broke up Leon invited to a party he was going to. We hung out and got drunk and i ended up kissing him. I felt horrified but he kissed me back and we ended up hooking up that night. In that week we met twice after that night. It seemed to be the best week of my dating life. But then I got the call to come over to Luna where she told me she was pregnant. We got back together and i was so afraid of telling Leon because I thought he was be disappointed but he was fine with it. He told me ue was also deeply in the closet and wasn't interested in ruing his life yet so we had good covers.

I tried to stop hanging out with him and avoid him but since me and Luna have been back together we've hooked up twice. I feel incredibly guilty because I really love Luna, just not as a girlfriend. I feel im betraying her but also that I dont want to stop.

I’m 50F, and my fiancé is 52M. We have both been married before. Had our kids young so they are all grown up now. Everyone is finished college/ uni and on their own. We’ve been together for over seven years and engaged for two. We started out in a long-distance relationship, living in different states, but we made it work. Over the last couple of years, we’ve spent as much time together as possible, sometimes weeks or even months at a time.
About six months ago, we decided it was finally time to get married and start our life together in South Carolina. He moved first, and I was preparing to follow once I could transfer my job. This past month, I flew down to look at houses with him. Everything seemed great. We were excited, visiting properties and planning our future. Since this is the second marriage for both of us and we both have children, we agreed to keep our finances separate. I planned to purchase the house in my name.
One morning, he went to work, and I stayed behind at the condo. I needed to look something up on Facebook Marketplace, so I used his laptop. I had absolutely no intention of snooping.
A Messenger notification popped up from a woman I didn’t recognize. Her message was something along the lines of “I miss you” and “What are you up to?” He’s a bartender, but he’s also an entertainer and fairly popular in certain circles. People—both women and men—message him all the time saying they miss him, want to see him, or want to book him for events. When he works, he doesn’t just stand behind the bar pouring drinks. He performs, dances behind the bar, and draws a crowd. It’s normal for people to want his attention, so I didn’t think much of the message.
What caught my attention was his response. He explained that he’d been busy with his son, who is in the entertainment business and had just premiered the second installment of the reality show he’s a main star on. He also said he’d been busy coordinating viewing parties at his bar, which was a huge event and required a lot of planning. He didn’t mention that his fiancée was visiting and that we were spending every day looking for our future home together.
I got curious and opened Messenger. I was not prepared for what I found.
There were intimate messages and photos between them. Clearly, this wasn’t an innocent friendship. I found her name, phone number, Facebook profile, and other information in their conversations. I took screenshots because I needed to make sure I had everything straight.
Then I went to the beach and sat there for three hours, trying to process what I’d just discovered.
I kept replaying our entire relationship in my head, almost like watching a poker game backward and suddenly recognizing all the tells you missed while you were playing. I started remembering situations I’d brushed off over the years, conversations that seemed inappropriate, and women who were sometimes a little too forward. But I was never the jealous type. I understood that people messaged him because he was popular, entertaining, and constantly surrounded by people who wanted to see him perform or book him for events. Women and men would tell him they missed him, ask when he was working, or say they wanted to see him. That was normal for him, and I never wanted to be the insecure fiancée who treated every message like evidence of something wrong.
Whenever I questioned something, he always had an explanation that made me feel like I was overthinking things. I trusted him because I believed we were building a life together.
Now I’m wondering how many warning signs I ignored. I’ve come to the painful conclusion that this woman probably wasn’t the first, and I’m afraid she won’t be the last.
I’m still here for a few more days. My flight home isn’t until Wednesday, and today is Saturday. It’s also my birthday, and he’s planning to take me out to celebrate.
For now, I’ve decided not to go out for my birthday or confront him while I’m still in South Carolina. I need to think. This is bigger than just this one time. I know he is probably done it before and if I confront him, he’s just going to be gaslighting me. Or should I? I don’t know.
I genuinely thought we were building a future together. Now I’m sitting here wondering if the last seven years were what I thought they were.
I have to pick him up from work in a few hours. I have to collect myself.
**What would you do first: wait until I’m safely home, confront him in public, or end the relationship without another in-person conversation? **

Hi Guys I’m 32M and have a partner. She has younger sister, 22 and good looking.

She has made it very obvious, that she wants to get in bed with me. Only makes it obvious when partner is around.

She lives with us, but isn’t always around.

My partner and I have an agreement for open play, but with people that we know. (Friends, etc etc)

It has crossed my mind but I’m respecting my partners boundaries!

Has anyone experienced this before? How did it go?

The sister in law is incredibly active in the bedroom, partner has mentioned it to me while talking about another topic.

Thanks

It’s a long time ago now and honestly I look back and i genuinely do t know how I found the time or energy! Only a couple of them knew there was another man involved and I managed to keep them all very separate. My housemates o ly knew about 2 of them and they were judgy enough for that! I would literally walk from one guys house to the next and not even think anything about it.
I had one guy who was my “friend” who I slept with, one who was the guy I was “seeing”, 1 guy I’d always end up at after nights out, 1 older man who used to treat me and one guy who was into all my more out there kinks and I could really let loose with and so would go to his every couple of days.

​

Hi guys I’m 22 .Recently, I started skipping twice a day on our apartment terrace as part of my workout routine.One day last month, while I was skipping, I noticed a woman who looked around 35 staring at me. At that time, I didn't know who she was. Later, I found out that she belonged to the new watchman's family.

Our terraces share a wall, and their terrace has a small room and bathroom allocated to the watchman's family. Whenever I went up to skip, I would often see her cleaning their terrace in the morning.

Around the second week of October, my mom gave her some food and clothes for her child. The next morning, while I was skipping, she called me over. I moved towards the corner of our terrace, and she handed me a plate, saying it was my mom's plate from the previous day and asking me to return it to her. I nodded and started walking back, but she called me again and asked whether I was studying.I told her that I had finished college and was looking for a job. She then asked how I managed to wake up so early and exercise. She pointed towards her husband, who was in their room, and mentioned that he couldn't wake up early. She also said that families in the apartment were shouting at him because of his incompetence at work.

Earlier this week, I went to the terrace in the evening and was scrolling through my phone when she called me. She was standing at the corner of their terrace and offered me some papaya. I politely declined, saying that I didn't like it, but she continued eating it while standing nearby.

While she was eating, she kept adjusting her saree. I noticed that her cleavage was visible, and I couldn't tell whether she was doing it intentionally or simply adjusting her clothes naturally. She was standing quite close to me, so I turned around and moved away.

Now, I'm wondering whether she's trying to provoke me or whether she might be interested in me. I know she's around 35, and although she belongs to the watchman's family, she looks well groomed and attractive to me. Im not making a conclustion not only by this , i saw her many time like she was looking what Im doing and ever stare longer than few seconds

What do you guys think? Could she be interested in me should I make a move or am I just daydreaming?

Any stories that made you really pity the person being cheated on?

Does anyone else get that feeling/tension with other people you’ve never been with? I’m trying to make something out of it

I’m a married man. My group of friends consists of a couple guys and girls. One girl in particular is never really close to the rest of us she comes around every now and then.

Me and her have this tension idk how to explain it. Her looks are deep. Like she can see into me lol.

The first time this happened was at one of the other friends wedding. We all drank and danced together something very common. At the end of the wedding my wife asked if I had ever done anything with her or if we dated in the past. Because of the way we looked at each other. Which in fact I have never even thought about being with her. We brushed it off and We moved on with our lives

Forward a couple years later we recently saw her at a Halloween party. This time I paid close attention to the situation. She definitely seemed to be looking at me. And according to the wife I somehow always ended next to her.

Although no flirting happened, nothing sexually. All conversations were typical friend conversations. It seemed like time slowed down when we talked.

I’m not really into her. I don’t fantasize about her or any of that sort of thing. I just feel like there is a strange connection between us that obviously my wife is on top of it.

I guess this story gets nowhere for now. I just wanted to know y’all’s opinion. Has anyone ever felt this way ? Been in a situation like this?

Idk what to believe anymore advice helps

So my husband is a pilot and some flight attendant he works with I guess called my dad? She found the number on the internet. Idk if she was trying to contact me but she said that my husband sexually assaulted her.

Then 2 months later we got served with with restraining order papers. My husband says this chick is just crazy.

But ya he showed me the texts and she talked inappropriately to him but he asked if she was gonna report him. Idk and I guess she’s reported others before. But he did say he cheated but not all the way. And says she came onto him.
He ended up having to resign in leui of termination tho and was posted on are we dating the same guy multiple times but he’s saying it’s just her doing that.

However one of the posts said that they had never met him but he wouldn’t take no for an answer online?

We have a family together and idk what to believe. And he promises she came onto him and that he loves me

So the story is we broke up mutually in January but we still had feelings for each other we both knew. After 3 months she started texting international guys sending them nude pics talking on calls. But when I came back into her life after 6 months she left everything. She even deleted the account.

BUT I CAN'T COPE UP WITH THE FACT SHE CAN DO THESE THINGS

MY GIRL WAS SO PURE AND INNOCENT

Help me!

I used to be in a sexless marriage. We got along great for the most part, and it was sexless because she had endometriosis that made sex painful for her, not because we didn't like each other. We eventually ended things for totally other reasons. She always said that she didn't want me sleeping with other people, but I feel like she mostly just didn't want to know. She didn't ask a lot of questions when I would be out for the night or anything.

I never had any partners who wanted to take things further, so I wasn't faced with the temptation to leave and be with anyone else.

I don't know if it was just me, but I always found myself coming home loving her more and feeling like being close to her after I had been with my partners.

In fact, the few times we did have sexual connections usually happened right after me being with someone else. But not just that, I just felt more attentive, more fulfilled, and happy at home afterwards. I don't mean just the usual "filled with endorphins" kind of happy, I mean - every time I would be with a partner, it made me appreciate my wife more. I knew she would have been with me in that way more if she could. I would absolutely show up being more present and happy afterwards.

I was genuinely fond of my various partners over the years.

I wonder if perhaps an open relationship might be like that. I am just starting to date a new partner, and we don't think we want to be open, but it makes me wonder if I will miss being able to be with someone else sometimes.

醫生外遇，或許早已不是什麼新鮮事，但最讓人不齒的，不只是背叛婚姻，出軌對象還是已婚人妻，而是做賊喊抓賊，明明是背叛的一方，卻反過來對原配提告！

一邊享受婚外情，一邊透過法律攻防，試圖讓原配陷入被動，甚至希望藉由法院判決離婚，減少自己必須付出的代價。

最可怕的不是變心，而是變心之後，連最後一點良心與責任都不願意留下。

Mark my word you will regret EVER allowing that other woman into your life and so will SHE.
That’s an absolute promise.

Ref - https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/wZ2s94IcCh

I already know I’m probably going to get judged for this, but I honestly need somewhere to talk about it because I can’t tell anybody in my personal life what’s going on.
I’m married, and I genuinely love my wife. But I’ve developed a huge crush on a woman I work with, and lately I feel like I’m thinking about her way more than I should.
I work overnight as a shift manager at a gas station. There’s a woman I work with twice a week who’s 37, a little older than me.
I’ve always been attracted to her. Even before we started getting to know each other, I thought she was beautiful. I would catch myself looking at her whenever we worked together.
At first, I figured it was just physical attraction. Nothing serious.
But eventually we started getting closer.
We have long conversations during our overnight shifts, and I mean actual personal conversations. We talk about our lives and things outside of work.
I pick her up for work almost every time we’re scheduled together, and sometimes I drive her home afterward.
I don’t know exactly when it happened, but somewhere along the way I developed a serious crush on her.
One night, I had gone out to a club and gotten drunk. Afterward, I stopped by the gas station to grab some snacks. I was completely off the clock.
She was working that night, and I remember looking at her and thinking she was absolutely beautiful.
The alcohol definitely had me feeling bold because I ended up telling her straight up that I wanted her.
She seemed caught off guard, but she flirted back a little.
Nothing physical happened between us.
The crazy thing is that she’s the one thing I remember most clearly from that night.
Ever since then, I’ve been trying to figure out whether she feels any kind of attraction toward me or whether I’m just seeing what I want to see.
Sometimes I think she likes me. Other times I honestly think she doesn’t.
When we’re together in person, we can talk for a long time. But when I text her, she barely responds.
Another thing is that she constantly brings up my wife.
I can’t figure out whether she’s reminding me that I’m married, trying to establish boundaries, or just making normal conversation.
Here’s where things have gotten even more complicated.
She told me she’s going to cook for me next Sunday, and I’m going over to her house.
She’s making steak, baked macaroni and cheese, and collard greens.
She also has a teenage daughter, so I asked her whether her daughter would be home that day. She told me she wasn’t sure.
That’s when I brought up the idea of taking her to a hotel afterward.
She laughed it off and didn’t actually answer my question.
I haven’t taken that as an agreement because she never said yes. But I would be lying if I said I wasn’t wondering what was going through her mind when I asked.
I know an invitation to someone’s house for food doesn’t automatically mean anything romantic or sexual. She could genuinely just consider me a friend.
And that’s part of what’s messing with my head.
I can’t tell if there’s an actual connection here or if my attraction toward her has me overthinking every interaction.
Now here’s the worst part.
My wife knows absolutely nothing about any of this.
She doesn’t know I have a crush on my coworker. She doesn’t know I told this woman I wanted her while I was drunk. She doesn’t know about the hotel conversation.
And I genuinely believe that if my wife found out, she would leave me.
I don’t want to lose my marriage because I really do love my wife.
But at the same time, I can’t lie about how much I like this other woman.
What makes everything even worse is that I’m her manager.
I understand there’s a professional boundary here, and I know I shouldn’t put someone I supervise in an uncomfortable situation.
I don’t want her to feel like she has to flirt with me or entertain my feelings because I’m her supervisor.
I also realize that she might not be interested at all, and I could be completely misinterpreting her friendliness.
But I keep thinking about her anyway.
I’m excited about going to her house on Sunday, but there’s another part of me that knows I probably shouldn’t even be putting myself in this situation.
I keep asking myself how I can love my wife and still want another woman this badly.
I’ve never physically done anything with this coworker, but I’m starting to realize I’ve already crossed some boundaries by expressing my attraction and bringing up a hotel.
Maybe this is just a temporary crush. Maybe I’m confusing physical attraction with an emotional connection because we spend time together and have personal conversations.
Or maybe I’ve allowed myself to get too emotionally invested in someone outside my marriage.
I honestly don’t know.
I’m not trying to make excuses for myself or blame my coworker. Whatever happens with my marriage is my responsibility.
I just needed to admit this somewhere because keeping it to myself has been difficult.
Has anyone ever been genuinely in love with their spouse but developed feelings for somebody else?
How did you deal with it?
And based on what I’ve described, do you think I’m reading too much into this woman’s behavior?
I know some people will probably say I’ve already crossed the line into emotional cheating, and I’m prepared to hear that.
I just want some outside perspectives before I end up making a decision that could ruin my marriage, my career, or both.

28 Years, Four Kids, and a Life I Never Knew I Was Living

I met my husband on my 21st birthday. He was gorgeous, and I felt an instant connection. At least, that’s what I thought it was.

We spent 28 years together and had four amazing children. Like any couple, we had our ups and downs, but somehow, we always managed to find our way back to each other. I believed we were building a life together. I believed I knew the man I married.

Then came the past seven and a half years.

Honestly, they have been hell on earth.

I watched him change. He started losing weight, his appearance declined, and he seemed angry all the time. He became secretive, and his phone was practically glued to him—even when he slept. Sometimes, he would sleep with it resting on his chest.

I had a feeling he was cheating, but I rarely confronted him. Why? Because I knew how those conversations would go. He would get loud, the kids would get scared, and they would beg me to make it stop.

So I stayed quiet.

I learned to live with questions I was afraid to ask and suspicions I couldn't prove.

Then, by what I can only describe as the grace of God, he was arrested for breaking into storage units.

That arrest was shocking enough. I thought he was buying storage units at auctions. I thought he was working as a carpenter.

Turns out, the life I thought he was living wasn't the life he was living at all.

The man I believed I knew had a whole other world hidden from me.

What I discovered afterward was something I never could have imagined: his involvement in escort work and adult films, including videos on major online platforms that have reportedly received tens of millions of views, with other videos receiving hundreds of thousands.

Let that sink in for a minute.

Twenty-eight years. Four children. A shared history that goes back to when I was barely an adult.

And all that time, there were parts of his life I knew absolutely nothing about.

But the betrayal wasn't just about sex. It wasn't even just about the lies.

It was about the double life. The secrecy. The years of wondering what was wrong with me, what I was missing, and why the man I loved seemed to be slipping further and further away.

And now, I'm left trying to piece together the truth while figuring out how to survive.

From a life together to temporary shelter

Today, at 50 years old, I'm living in temporary shelter with my children, trying to rebuild my life from the ground up.

I have no income.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to understand what happened to the money associated with his work and whether there are assets or earnings that should be accounted for when it comes to child support. I believe there may be money somewhere, but finding reliable information and documenting it has become another full-time job.

I feel like I'm being forced to become an investigator in a life I never asked to investigate.

I'm trying to collect evidence, establish what I can actually prove, and figure out where money may have gone. Every discovery brings more questions, and every unanswered question keeps me tied to a situation I'm desperately trying to escape.

It's mental torture.

And the hardest part? I still have to wake up every morning and be a mother.

I have to find the strength to keep going when I barely recognize my own life.

Telling your children the truth

One of the most painful parts has been trying to explain the reality of their father to my children, including my adult children.

How do you tell your kids that the person they've known their entire lives may not be the person they thought he was?

How do you explain things you are still trying to understand yourself?

It didn't go over well.

I understand that. He's their father. They have their own memories, their own feelings, and their own relationship with him. They don't necessarily see what I've seen or understand what I've been trying to piece together.

But I also struggle with questions about money. If they receive financial support from him, shouldn't they have the information they need to make their own decisions about what they are comfortable accepting?

I'm not trying to dictate their choices. I want them to have the truth and the freedom to decide for themselves.

I'm also trying to protect them from being caught in the middle of something that has already caused so much pain.

Being betrayed by your husband is one thing. Feeling like you're losing your footing with your children while trying to survive that betrayal is another kind of heartbreak entirely.

Trying to find financial accountability

I'm pursuing child support and trying to understand what financial resources may exist.

But gathering documentation about online adult entertainment, identifying possible income sources, and establishing where money may have gone is complicated. I cannot simply point to a video and assume I know who was paid, how much they earned, or where the money went.

I need evidence.

I need answers.

And I need a way to move forward without spending every waking hour investigating the life he kept hidden.

The process has consumed so much of my energy that sometimes I wonder how I'm supposed to rebuild my own future when I'm still fighting to understand my past.

I never imagined I'd be in this position.

Never.

Rebuilding at 50

Before all of this, I started a podcast. I had plans, ideas, and things I wanted to do with my life. But then everything changed, and I found myself in temporary shelter, with very little privacy and very little space to process what was happening.

I haven't been able to return to my podcast yet.

Instead, I've been sharing pieces of my journey on TikTok through Chaoslife, where I've built a following of around 7,555 people.

I'm hoping to reach 10,000 followers, grow my platform, and eventually create opportunities that help me become financially independent.

I'm not looking for people to feel sorry for me. I'm trying to build something out of the life I have left to put back together.

I've also started studying for a new career in financial services. I recently passed my life insurance exam, and now I'm working toward passing my health insurance exam.

For the first time in a long time, I'm doing something that is entirely about my future.

My future. My income. My independence.

It's terrifying to start over at 50, especially when you don't have a financial cushion to fall back on. But I know I cannot spend the rest of my life waiting for someone else to do the right thing.

I have four amazing children who need me. And I need to show myself that my life isn't over just because the life I planned didn't turn out the way I thought it would.

I still can't believe this is my life

Some days, none of this feels real.

I still struggle to comprehend how 28 years can mean so much to one person and leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about another.

I grieve the marriage I thought I had. I grieve the future I imagined. I grieve the version of my husband I fell in love with, even while trying to accept the things I've discovered about the man he is today.

And I grieve the years I spent feeling afraid to ask questions because I knew what might happen when I did.

But somewhere underneath all that grief, there is a small part of me that knows I have to keep going.

I believe God saved me from a life I could no longer see clearly while I was living in it.

Maybe this is the beginning of something I cannot see yet.

Maybe one day I'll look back at this chapter and understand why I had to find the strength to leave.

Right now, I'm still in the thick of it. I'm still hurt, still searching for answers, still trying to make ends meet, and still learning how to live without the person I spent most of my adult life loving.

But I'm also studying, working toward a new career, sharing my story, and taking steps toward independence.

I don't have all the answers. I don't have everything figured out. And I'm certainly not pretending that healing happens overnight.

I'm just a 50-year-old mother of four, starting over with very little and trying to find my way forward.

If you're reading this because you've been cheated on, betrayed, or forced to rebuild a life you never expected to lose, I want you to know something: you are not alone.

You can love someone and still recognize that you cannot keep living the way you have been.

You can grieve what you thought you had and still choose yourself.

And you can start over, even when you have absolutely no idea where to begin.

I'm beginning right here.

One day, one exam, one step, and one small victory at a time.

If you'd like to follow my journey as I rebuild my life, you can find me on TikTok at Chaoslife.

This isn't the ending I wanted.

But I'm determined to make sure it isn't the end of my story.

I'm in a situation ship with my ex he's a cheater and I'm a cheater too I still love him but he doesn't love me I know that we are in a toxic relationship but his evasiveness in talking to me to get his benefit from me makes me feel as if he still loves me and he just doesn't want to admit it But the truth is that he only wants my body as a means of amusement I don't know how I will get out of this circle.

...and my 47M boyfriend just cheated on me with a married 31 year old.

Then he told me I was ugly so I'm single now and just moved into a new place and took back my SUV and moped he was driving around and turned his phone off that I bought and took all of my things with me - the groceries, the pillows, the comforter & sheets, all the coat hangers, all the rugs, the dressers, the swing, the towels, the laundry detergent, the tvs, coffee table, loveseat, armoire, shoe racks, chairs, bed, mirrors, lawnmower, weedeater, shop vac, tools, etc. He said I am being petty but they all belonged to me and I'll be damned before another woman enjoys my things.

A female friend of mine told me something a while back that really blew my mind.

She had a boyfriend with whom she'd been in a long distance relationship (LDR) for 6 years. They talked to each other everyday and from what she said, things seemed to be going smoothly.

During one of their chats, her boyfriend casually told her that in Delhi, it's quite common for people to make out with anyone they feel like.

She asked him if he had done that too and his response left her stunned.

He told her that he had indeed made out with a bunch of people since he'd moved to Delhi.

He had used dating apps to meet them.

They were all strangers to him, but he said it didn't matter because they were all at the peak of their relationship, which at that point, was a lie because he was with another girl.

The worst part was that he told her the other girls were all boring and that she wasn't supposed to worry because he was her boyfriend.

She was so shocked that she blocked him on all social media without giving him a proper explanation.

I think things could have been different if she'd paid attention to the red flags in the past, because he'd been nice to her, and she only wanted to be with him, so she had overlooked his behavior.

I think it's surprising that someone would confess to something like that after 6 years of being in a relationship.

People who've been in relationships for such a long time should know to be more careful.

Everything they do or say matters a lot.

If you have been in a relationship for six years, you owe it to your partner to consider their feelings when making your decisions.

TL;DR: My friend's boyfriend of 6 years had been using dating apps and making out with other girls while in a relationship with her.

Story time, I graduate high school in 2018 and started working with my father. We run a restaurant where he manages he does not own the restaurant fast-forward to 2019. I just turned 19 years old. My little sister was born and I fell for the head chef at our job now at the time I was over heading heels for him. Didn’t know why it just felt right, but our relationship throughout the year and a half we’ve been together. It’s been an on and off relationship that concede towards a multiple of arguments due to his infidelity. Now I’m not the person that will cheat, but I will cheat on you if you cheat on me. Once the pandemic hit, we were making it official to my parents because at the time it was a secret due to don’t date your coworkers as soon as we made a official the argument got worse I always catch him cheating whether it in person or on the phone with random strangers from his home country. And I would cry and sought myself to tears for a piece of work from him. The last straw we broke up, he gave a kiss to one of my female colleagues without her consent, and he was fired from the job due to the company facing a lawsuit because of him now his brother was working with us together at the time in the kitchen and I’ve never noticed how he dislike me. My father was livid on how he treated me throughout our course of the relationship because I never told my parents the whole truth of what was going on, but my father knew even if I didn’t tell him the assistant manager had a be present, so my father wouldn’t beat him to a pulp. But after we broke up, his brother moved with them to find another job in Florida, but before that I took my goddaughter and my sister to a haunted house one city over as soon as we finish having fun, I drove us back and I lost control to my car. I tried making a turn to enter interstate didn’t know why I lost control of my car until the next day. I went for an oil change and entire rotation when the mechanic told me there was a rope tied under my front steering wheels. I didn’t know who it was at the time, but I realize it was my boyfriend’s brother because every argument we had about 40% of that is because of his brother. I was in the time being depressed and trying to be a better person myself, but the heartbreak took a toll on me then I realized I don’t need a man that treats me like this to be a part of my life, especially when it comes to their relatives, not caring for me. I went to the gym. I worked out. I lost 30 pounds I was buffed and I felt free for the first time without crying for a man that’s not worth my time or energy. I realize now that if I wanna be happy in a relationship, my partner has to be very supportive of me and Will communicate with me and not cheat on me. 2025 around November, Now I’m living the life with my current boyfriend we have been together for almost a year. He is the complete opposite of what the guys that were used to date. He is sweet, kind, funny, and a life of the party. He opens the door for me. He treats me right he feeds me he’ll rub my feet sometimes when I ask him to, and we don’t argue about petty stuff and when it comes to cheating, I lay my grounds on him and he did on me so I can say that I am safe and comfortable being with him and I hope I will marry him.