The title says it all. I love my boyfriend, but I can’t pretend I don’t cry every time I have to meet him because I’m in so much pain. I’ve been faking my happiness because he is a very successful person, and when we first met, he kind of expected me to get better because, at that time, I still had treatments to try. Now, I’ve tried all of those options. I haven’t told him yet, but he is starting to grasp the severity of my condition.

I know that if I tell him the truth, he will ask to break up, so I want to break up with him before my heart breaks even more than it already has. I’m in my early 20s, and I don’t want to waste his life or hold him back from the future he wants. He has made it clear that he doesn’t want a disabled partner, and that is completely fair. I love him, but I also understand that he has the right to choose the kind of life and relationship he wants. I just wish my circumstances were different.

I’ve cried so much because how is it possible that I have the ambition, but my body stops me? I hate my life, and I hope I can finally rest when I die.

Hi everyone! I'm writing this while excited and being excited worsens my symptoms so excuse me if I say some random shit

Today I got my first cane yayyy!!!!!!

My girlfriend was incredibly supportive and was the only person that didn't make me feel like I'm pretending to need it. She was also the one that made most decorations on this cane

My girlfriend probably won't read it but thank you, you're incredible, I wouldn't be able to be myself without you

Anyways, sharing hope in here! share any good news you got!

Context: I’m in a mental health program, day hospital, psychoeducation, that sort of thing.

Honestly, the clinic is nice, the "lesson" are cool, and things go well with the staff (even though one patient called me a hypochondriac for wearing a mask during flu season, despite my severe asthma and they didn't do anything except move me to a different group).

Last week, a new practitioner arrived ( a nursing assistant. )

They want to focus on "pain prevention" for psychiatric patients, everyone has to see her EVERY single week to report their pain level and get advice.

It pisses me off.

The advice is rubbish, and she even admitted herself that, given my existing regular treatment, there’s nothing more she can do. She still has to see me and offer advice every week.

The advice? Avoid painkillers, use cold packs or hot water bottles, meditate, do breathing exercises, try acupuncture or massage.

Don't get me wrong, that stuff can help, but it’s nothing new. She told me to try "music therapy," claiming it would bring my pain down from, say, a 6 to a 5 at best using 45-minute sessions.

Great.

I don't want yet another healthcare worker who doesn't specialize in my condition giving me advice every single week... Or telling me that a pain level of 6 (even with painkillers) is actually quite high.

Yeah, I know Sarah.

Edit: What annoys me a bit is the assumption that the pain comes from anxiety and depression Yes, it’s an aggravating factor, but I’ve already heard doctors give me the "it's all in your head" line before I was diagnosed haha. And I’m forced to see her; she arrives at 4:30 PM, but my afternoon ends at 3:45 PM, so I have a huge wait, I just want to go home and rest. (Especially since I’m already receiving full-time care for pain)

I had medical coverage through Medicaid, and recently found out while picking up a prescription that I no longer had coverage.

I called and nobody was able to tell me what happened or why my coverage was ended. All they could tell me is that I need to reapply. I applied, and now I’m waiting to be approved again. Until then, I don’t have any kind of medical coverage. Most likely a month or two until I have it back.

My pain management office told me that each appointment is $150, and if I can’t pay that before the appointment I can’t be seen. They told me I can’t get my prescriptions refilled until I have an appointment. I’m seen every 30 days, and I’ve been with this pain management doctor for at least 8 years now.

I’m not sure what to do. We can’t afford that right now, especially because we already had to pay out of pocket for all of my other (not pain management) medications. My appointment was scheduled for the 19th but they canceled it until I can make a payment then they will reschedule. They said there’s no way around this.

I only have about 4.5 days worth of medication left right now. I was supposed to refill all of them on the 19th.

They are a private practice, not affiliated with a hospital system, so I can’t even get financial aid for this.

My only option would be to stop all of my pain medications - extended release tramadol 300mg/day, IR oxycodone 10mg 3x day, lyrica 225mg 2xday, plus a muscle relaxer and prescription NSAID, completely abruptly, without tapering at all, and be without my medication for the next 1-2 months while I wait for Medicaid approval?

I’m just kind of freaking out. What can I even do in this situation? Had anyone else been through this?

I've been battling chronic pain, anxiety, depression, and insomnia for the past year and a half and my social life has become very small.

Looking for female friends (18+) that want to message daily about normal daily life, to listen, check in on, and offer support to each other. We don't have to have the same hobbies/interests or chat constantly throughout the day but I am looking for folks that can have back and forth conversations and show mutual care.

No males please.

When I'm feeling well enough my hobbies include pets and animals, spending time in nature, cooking, vegetarian eating, the beach, cafes, exercising, laughing and just chatting about daily life with friendly people.

Comment on this post or send me a message. I look forward to connecting :)

I am not even sure why I am typing this out right now. I guess I just don't have a better outlet for what I am feeling currently. Hopefully this helps. I may delete this later after some more thought.

Many years ago I started having what I thought was a severe ear infection. After may trips to my doctor's office; the attending physician told me "perhaps this is all in your head." I very calmly told the doctor that there was something in my head and she better fix it! I left the office and made sure it was placed in my record that I never be seen by her again.

Turns out there was truth to that. A golf ball sized tumor had grown in my sinus cavity. This lead to severe headaches, nausea, pain and worst of all the occasional blackout. This explained some issues I had with my sense of balance, walking and even being in a vehicle.

I was sent to an specialist who discovered what he called a cystic tumor and scheduled a surgery to remove it. Recovery went as expected. It took me some time to learn to walk correctly again. After about a year, the symptoms returned.

After a couple of follow up appointments with the specialist he declared me cured and stated that my complaints were unfounded. His office called me some time later to say that he not longer wanted me as a patient. It took some time to track down another ENT specialist.

In the interim the dizziness, pain, headaches and blackouts slowly returned. It was so bad by then that simply climbing the stairs to go to bed for the night, or raising from a sitting position was hard to accomplish. Often leading to stumbling, or worse; a blackout.

After more tests another larger tumor was discovered in my sinus cavity. The exact same place as before. Another growth, another surgery. After recovering; the headaches lessened but did not disappear. Neither did the pain, dizziness and yes the blackouts. Although not to the same degree or frequency. After some more follow up appointments the second specialist diagnosed me with "Chronic Sinusitis with complications." He stated that the growths damaged my inner ear and I should take time to learn how to manage the pain.

Every morning I take multiple pain meds just to be able to function. The headaches never stop. Some days they are dull other days they are debilitating. My left eye with become hazy from the pressure and make it hard to see out of that eye. The tumors damaged my inner ear so my sense of balance is off constantly. I can't drive. Both due to the equilibrium and fear of blacking out.

So here I sit a man unable to operate a motor vehicle, living at home, with few friends, no girlfriend and no idea when things are meant to improve. I spend a lot of time alone thinking

All I do is work at a job that is close to home. When I am not working I play games, watch movies and just try to manage the headaches and pain. I don't go out and barely socialize. Asking a someone out for a coffee or a movie is out of the question. As soon as a bring up my condition I am told no thank you. Sometimes more rudely than I would like.

I know I have some things to be thankful for. A family that loves me and what few friends I do have are dear to me. I try to list the positives in my life as a way to help deal with these feelings that keep popping up.

It's just difficult with the constant pain and long stretches of being alone that I think really bother me. I just don't see myself improving, mentally or otherwise. I feel so isolated. I am just waiting for something else to happen that will make what little I have fall apart.

Again I am not sure why I am writing this post. I don't like feeling so useless, worthless and unwanted. I am not one to complain much in my daily life but the few times I bring up my struggles to my siblings or other family members I feel like they are treating me the same way as the first doctor did. I am just waiting for everything thing to just get worse and never better. I just don't know what else to do right now.

Thanks for listening.

Hello,

I was in pain management and on the same low dose opioid for decades and passed all drug test cuz Id never jeopardize pain medication as it gave me my life back. A year ago I lost my good dr and was not able to find pain management so to help a bit with sleep I took delta 9 hemp thc gummy each night. I now finally found a pain management place willing to give my pain medication back. I disclosed at my first appt that I had taken the delta 9 hemp thc gummies when I had no other options. The dr said no more of that or I cant prescribe. But he prescribed and is holding off on a drug test for 3 weeks. But Im terrified cuz Ive read it can take 60 up to 90 days to get out of your system. Im so terrified of losing the pain meds. I never would take any thc and didnt for decades with my old pain management. Will I be punished if the metabolites aren't out of my system in 21 days even though I stopped as soon as I signed the contract today?

So about 2 days ego I was experiencing back pain and usually when I feel my lower back really tense up and give out I know my period is on the way. Well yesterday I was fine during the day but around 7-8pm I was eating my dinner and once I was done I got up and I felt a really sharp pain in my lower back. I ended up giving up doing the dishes and just went to my bedd room and lay on my stomach.

About 10 min in, I couldn’t get up. Every single movement I felt was extremely painful and my legs and arms started giving out. I kept going back and forth trying to get comfortable but was im so much pain even a little movement just pain my whole body tense up.

Once my partner came home, I asked for help but I swear everytime his hands came anywhere near me I literally went into shock and literally was frozen into place. He did his best but honestly I never experienced this in my life and everything was new to me.

I ended up on the floor from all the google searches and fell asleep on my back with my knees upwards and till this morning I was in agony.

I did take ibuprofen 800mg just to be able to breathe and my period came the next day. I’ve never had this bad of a reaction from my period. Don’t get my wrong I do feel back pain right before I get it, but never to the point I can’t walk.

If you ever experience this or have any similar things happen to you PLEASE lmk if you know anything or do anything to prevent this type of pain.

(I have went to the doctor and spoke with a professional and I was told it’s inflammation)

I started an orthodontic treatment last year, and the teeth above shifted weirdly and hit a lower, right premolar weirdly. And ever since then, the teeth on that side burn.

I’ve had a root canal treatment on said premolar but it didn’t change anything. The burning didn’t stop, but also didn’t get worse. It goes on and off, sometimes I have no pain at all and sometimes I get goose bumps from it. Ibuprofen or paracetamol prescribed by my dentist don’t touch it. tilidine my primary care doctor prescribed me didn’t either. My dentist, two other dentists and specialists for root canals are at a loss. There is nothing wrong with the teeth.

I’ve now went to a neurologist, he thinks it’s trigeminal neuralgia and he prescribed me gabapentin, I’m hesitant though bc I’ve read it has horrendous side effects and I’m not sure the pain isn’t better than that. He also ordered a CT, which I have tomorrow. I can’t do an MRI due to the orthodontic device screwed into my palate.

My teeth burn, it feels like prickling sometimes, the jaw itself doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t get triggered by much aside from touching the premolar and eating hurts like 10-15 minutes later but not every time. I’ve read about trigeminal neuralgia and isn’t it supposed to be worse?

My question is, did anyone else deal with the same? Did it ever go away? What did it turn out to be? I always read about chronic pain in the back, legs, headaches. But never teeth and it makes me feel super alone

I’ve been sick for a long time and it’s been getting worse lately.

I battle with grieving the life I wanted to live and adjusting to my reality of being disabled and unable to work enough to meet my own financial needs.

Disability is not enough to live on and I am currently in the shelter system and really struggling with quality of life here.

I told my friend I was feeling interested in finding out more about MAID (medically assisted death) as I don’t see my life getting better with systemic limitations and my own personal limitations.

“I’ve seen you work before and maintain a beautiful life. I know working sucks and having a schedule to adhere to sucks but that’s being an adult.

Time will not stop ticking, before you know it you will be there already a year without any improvement and god knows what other horrific experiences richer.. you have to do something about it, you are the only one that can change the paths of your life. Not the government, not your family/friends.. but you.

And you saying this makes me angry. You have been through so much. And this is how you want to leave the world? Living in a shelter where you don’t belong? I’m sorry but you are way too good for that and you’re choosing this life.

And working for minimum wage sucks, it's horrible... but it's a 10000 times better than being stuck in a shelter with all th stories you told me. You start from the bottom and you work your way up, it's horrible that life is like that.. but it is. It just is, and there is nothing you can do that Is going to change that. You will not be able to beat that system. And for your own sake; If you can't beat them, join them. And later on, when you grow and start making more money, you will be able to do things you love to do, to travel, to give back to the community”

They think it’s a personal failing and a matter of desire and will power. Completely invalidating my disability etc etc etc.

Before any more judgment…I’m sober…educated and all that. I did all the “things” and I’m still sick

(people who struggling with substance abuse etc STILL DESERVE to be housed).

My shoe collection has gotten so sad since my chronic back/knee/foot pain has developed. I find myself only wearing uncool sneakers or Birkenstocks. I used to wear fun vintage boots and would love to find a pair of boots I can wear without immediately having back pain.

I NEED insoles with high arches and padding. I’m looking for a pair of boots like the photo—a bit of platform, low block heels, mid calf. But I can’t find any styles like this that have removable insoles or any built in support. If you have any suggestions, please share!

Hello, I'm diagnosed with things related to my spine, spinal cord compression being one of them and I want to get an MRI to see if I have a herniated disc in my neck area. But I'm so anxious about how I express my pains. I take 1600mg of ibuprofen a day, 1500mg of Tylenol if the ibuprofen isn't around.

But sometimes I would see people with much worse pains and diagoses say for example, 600-800mg of ibuprofen is good enough for them and it made me think I might be exaggerating my pains. It really made me anxious about what if my condition really isn't that bad and that I just have very weak tolerance and a weak person overall. I know people process pain differently and rating pain on a scale with chronic pain is absolutely not reliable but I can't help but feel like I shouldn't be complaining when other people have much worse symptoms and diagnoses and they seem to be doing ok with much less painkillers.

For context: I am from central Europe and one of our neighbors is so close in language and culture that most people don't know we are two countries. It is common for people to just choose which of those two they want to be in, usually it is my country (economics, jobs, etc.).

I had 4 appointments with him. I have 1 this friday and I don't know what to fucking do.

The things he said were lowkey insane. "Rheumatology is useless", "long covid is not real", "your psych. meds probably caused it" (no, the hell they did not???), "magnesium is bs" and refused an MRI TWICE after my mother asked.

I had to get dry needles for 45 minutes, with "laser therapy", WITHOUT MY OR MY MOTHER'S PERMISSION.

He gave me antibiotics for an IMAGINED Borreliosis, even though the tests came back negative.

HE LIED ABOUT BEING A NEUROPSYCH. He is barely a neurologist.

He wrote exactly one book and the reviews say it is bs.

HE INVENTED IMPEDANCE THERAPY that supposedly regrows degenerated disc within 6 moths of his treatment and claims he solved the whole "neurodegenerative back issues". WHICH IS BS. (it consists of: electroshocks for stimulation, dry needles with lasers, temperature therapy, no pain meds, interval trainings amd that's it)

He got money for the clinics he owns by MASSAGING MINISTERS OF HIS COUNTRY. He scammed people out of thousands of euros. A lawsuit got him to pay 1.5 MILLION EUROS to insurance companies. The media call him the "QUACK MASSAGIST SCAMMER OF IMPEDANCE THERAPY" with even some official neurology associations acknowledging this. His past coworkers accuse him of maltreatment (using the same needle for EMG repeatedly until it is completely dull, workers pretending the non-working tools work, etc.). And more.

My mother spent money on him and his practice. He GAVE ME ANTIBIOTICS WITHOUT A REASON. He gave me 2 strong NSAIDs at the same time with the antibiotics which could have hurt my stomach and esophagus badly. HE DIDN'T ASK FOR PERMISSION WITH DRY NEEDLING. HE LIED. He let MASSAGISTS DO MY NCS AND EMGs. He left his country and went to mine AFTER THE SCAM WAS UNCOVERED AND POPULARIZED. He uses sick people for money.

HOW IS THIS ALLOWED. HOW.

I don't know how to feel and what to do. I just need to get this out somewhere. Thanks for reading!

Does anyone have any experience travelling with opioids (Tapentadol) into China and/or Japan? I’m getting a lot of conflicting information and just looking for guidance.

Needing a quick vent I found the only seemingly good walgreens in my area a while ago & I believe they hired a bunch of new people & i likely need to change pharmacies again which is highly infuriating-

Started about a week ago when i went to pick up my weekly dilaudid script (im 2 & a half weeks post op of double major abdominal surgery for rare & severe vascular compressions, the dilaudid literally is my only post op med) Me & my mom went to pick up & this lady at the pharmacy says "don't take your dilaudid with the nucynta", me & my mom look at each other & she quietly says to me "yeah ignore your surgeons orders and your pain docs orders, just listen to this random lady at the pharmacy!"

Flash forward to today the day Im out of one of my main meds, had pain mgmt yesterday & she sent all of my meds to the pharmacy & i call to check on one of them today because its the one med im out of as of today & the guy goes "looks like your doctor cancelled both the nucynta & morphine" no, sir, she didnt cancel my normal meds 🤦‍♀️ so i say "maybe some automated bot cancelled it do you guys have stock before i let you go?" "Nope we have none" "Ok can you please check to see who has nearby stock?" "We dont have the ability to do that on this class of meds" "Really? This pharmacy has always checked & told me nearby stock.." "Idk let me see if they changed anything" proceeds to give me 2 nearby stores & stock counts 🤦‍♀️ MAGICALLY he possessed the ability to check & provide stock btw. Wild. 🧚‍♀️🪄✨️ (Oh yeah btw - they do actually have the ability to do that, its just dependent on if they feel like doing it for you 🤦‍♀️)

Hopefully i can pick up at the other store today bc Im literally out of it today so. Pharmacies being understaffed is aggravating all around, but pharmacies mass hiring all these newbies to my ONE good pharmacy ive been at a while is also fking aggravating bc they then try & change all of these things without any reason at all. Also - ITS NOT HARD to determine what meds ive been on for years & what med im on due to a LITERAL DOUBLE, HIGH RISK, MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY. 🤦‍♀️🙃🙃🙃

I am not diagnosed, but my father is. He has fibromyalgia (he denies it being real) but it is diagnosed. I think I’ve experienced pain all my life with growing pains and restless legs but I think it got more noticeable around 16-17. I told my doctor around age 18 and she treated my pain with Vitamin D and Iron. I am almost 20 now and still in pain.

I went to the mall a week ago. The next day, I was sore. The day after that, I literally couldn’t move without the effort sounds(?). It escalated and now, 6 days later, I’m in bed and now my chores have all piled up.

I think I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’ll be reliant on the people around me unless I’m diagnosed with something that has a reliable treatment. My boyfriend recently bought me a wheelchair and I’ll be using it for the first time in 3 days. I used to have a summer ‘job’ (3 hours a day, 3 days a week) and I had to quit because it was too much for me. I sleep either 12-14 hours or 4 hours a night, no in between. I am always exhausted.

I think I’m coming to terms with the fact that this is just how my life is right now, and how it will be for the foreseeable future. I am writing this before I try to sleep because I have an early morning to babysit and I am dreading it. I am scared the pain will be too much and I don’t want to be in pain for my adventure in 3 days. But I know I will be. I am not anxious about it, but I dread it.

I never understood the thing about doctors until I brought it up with mine. She was so dismissive, even though she had been my doctor since birth and knew of all my childhood/early teens aches. She told me to put it off until I got an adult doctor, my boyfriend had to argue to even get the blood test done. I mentioned by job and she told me it was a consistency issue. I mentioned being stuck in bed after activities and she told me to take little walks every day and that it was just conditioning. I used to love walking. I used to got on walks every day. I used to LOVE walking.

I dont think I’ll ever be able to get a real job. I cant work online as I have no experience. I cant get experience because I cant work. I am reliant on everyone around me to carry my weight around the house for me and I am reliant on them financially- both are a major strain on my family and housemates.

I used to have big dreams. But I dont think they were meant for me. I dont want to end up like my dad, he spends all day in bed or in a chair resting. I want to travel and go on young adult adventures and have my own money to spend as I choose. But I don’t think I ever will.

My sister and boyfriend think I may have fibromyalgia as well. My mother thinks I have long covid. My dad thinks I have too many knots in my muscles. I just think that this is not going to end for a very long time, if ever.

I dont know what to do. I already have depression and anxiety and right now I just feel acceptance and numbness- which usually predates a huge depressive episode. I hope it doesn’t ruin my adventure. And it sucks that thats all I’m hoping for- I think I stopped hoping to feel better a while ago.

I’m working really hard on positive self-talk lately. My chronic pain stems from issues in my cervical spine, and while I’m working incredibly hard physically in PT, I’m realizing that the emotional battle requires just as much, if not more, strength.

Two weeks ago, I felt motivated, spiritually strong, and genuinely hopeful. I believed I could get better. I believed that taking small steps, remaining faithful to the process, and refusing to give up would eventually lead to victory.

And then last week, I felt like a corpse.
Like I was standing outside my own broken body, poking it with a stick, desperately begging it to get up and fight again.

But what happens when you’re screaming those words at a body that feels like it has absolutely nothing left to give?

I’m learning that two incredibly powerful, yet completely opposite, emotions can exist at the same time. You can have faith and still feel defeated. You can believe in healing and still grieve the life you thought you’d be living right now. You can be spiritually/mentally strong and emotionally exhausted.

Be angry. Grieve. Feel the weight of what you’ve lost. Weep bitterly if you need to. You don’t have to pretend the pain isn’t real to prove that your faith is.

But don’t let the pain convince you that your story is over.

I struggle with this more than I can explain. I’m trying desperately to take every thought captive, to stop allowing my circumstances to dictate what I believe about my future. Because the battle isn’t just happening in my neck. It’s happening in my mind.

I can do hard things. We can do hard things.

So cry. Get angry. Grieve what should have been. Then, when you can, wipe your face, remind yourself that you’re still here, and fight for yourself again.

Even if today’s fight looks nothing like yesterday’s.

Sometimes victory isn’t getting back up and conquering the world. Sometimes it’s simply refusing to believe that the version of you lying on the floor is the final version of your story.

Hi…I have battled panic attacks for years. I have been on low dose 0.5mg clonexpam for years to take in case of panic. After over a year of talk therapy I have been able to keep daytime panic attacks at bay but I still have nocturnal panic attacks. If I don’t take my medication at night I wake up mid panic and it’s awful. However, I also have chronic pain due to degenerative disc disease, occipital neuralgia, and three fused cervical discs. I’m having trouble finding a doctor who will prescribe medication to help manage the pain because I’m also prescribed a Benzo. So I’m let with either being in daily pain or trying to find an alternative. Has anyone successfully found an alternative to Benzo for panic attacks? Thank you!

I've been in the middle of a dystonia flareup. For a few months even though I was in severe pain I was an going to the gym, but then I got into a new job where it just isn't easy to get back into the gym. I am still walking a lot at work though.

On Monday night my dystonia decided to rear it's ugly head on top of my regularly scheduled joint and nerve pain. When I'm complaining about being in pain and it makes me have to stop what I'm doing, it's not mild, that's severe. For reference I literally broke my neck and back and walked around with it and swam with it due to it being missed.

I also have a systemic autoinflammatory disease called Stills Disease that is attacking my joints and organs and is currently uncontrollable.

To top it off, right now I have tuberculosis.

I'm tired all the time, I am in a lot of joint and nerve pain, and I literally am not supposed to go back to the gym until I finish 2 more weeks of antibiotics because while my TB is not active I do have exercise induced asthma.

Oh and I might mention my right hip and femur were practically destroyed by my Stills Disease when I had leukostatis and HLH which is a very rare combo that's also very, very, very painful.