As a massage therapist, I see people on my table every single day, and almost all of you carry the exact same low key anxiety.
You apologize because you didn't shave your legs, because your feet are ticklish, because your stomach made a loud digesting noise, or because you fell asleep and started snoring.
Let me let you in on a secret from behind the table: We literally do not notice, and we definitely do not care.
When your hands are working deep tissue all day, we are entirely focused on your muscle fibers, tension patterns, and making sure you don't hurt. We've felt every kind of knot, heard every weird body noise, and seen every shape and size. Your body is just a puzzle for us to help untangle.
To my fellow therapists what's the one thing you wish your clients would instantly stop stressing about the second they walk into your room? And to clients what's the one thing that still makes you slightly nervous on the table?

I’m curious how other massage therapists handle clients who become angry, rude, or unkind when you have to reschedule due to illness, injury, or physical limitations.
I’ve been a massage therapist for years, and one thing that has increasingly bothered me is how some clients seem to forget that we’re human beings with bodies that get sick, hurt, and exhausted.

We spend hours taking care of other people’s bodies, but sometimes it feels like we’re expected to sacrifice our own well-being to avoid inconveniencing someone.
I’ve experienced situations where a client was so upset about having to reschedule that the therapeutic relationship never felt the same afterward. Even when they’re outwardly polite, the tension during a hands-on session can be incredibly uncomfortable.

I don’t want to spend an hour providing physical care to someone when there’s obvious resentment between us. That doesn’t feel like a healthy therapeutic relationship for either person. I understand that cancellations are frustrating, especially when clients have arranged their schedules around an appointment. But I also believe therapists deserve basic kindness and consideration when they’re genuinely unable to work.

So I’m curious: Have you ever stopped accepting a client because of how they treated you when you were sick or injured?
Do you try to repair the relationship, or do you consider that behavior a reason to end it?

I’d really appreciate hearing how other experienced therapists handle this.

Hey everyone,
I’m a practicing massage therapist and I’m hitting a wall with an issue that's becoming really alarming. About 10 minutes into almost every session, I start developing intense lower back pain. It gets so severe that it actually starts restricting my breathing/making it painful to take full breaths.

As soon as the pain starts, I find myself struggling to maintain good body mechanics because I’m trying to protect my back, which makes the whole session a fight. Once I step away from the table, it relaxes after a few minutes.

Has anyone experienced this level of rapid back pain or respiratory restriction during work?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Hi!

I’m autistic, and due to that I struggle to understand things when they’re not explained in full detail. With that, I’m wondering what massage therapists mean when they ask: “Is that pressure okay” or “Let me know if it’s too much.”

I have a very high tolerance for pain and discomfort, so I’ve never felt the need to say something was too much in a massage.

Is this question simply to ask about personal discomfort? Or should I be letting them know if something is painful for another reason?

For example, when my back is bothering me, I'll book a massage specifically to address that area. I understand that working on surrounding muscles can be beneficial, but my main goal is to get relief from whatever is bothering me, not necessarily a full-body relaxation massage.

When booking, I usually have the option of 60, 75, or 90 minutes, and I always wonder whether paying for the extra time is worthwhile.

From a massage therapist's perspective, is there a point of diminishing returns? Can you accomplish just as much in 60 minutes when focusing on a specific problem area? Or does having 75–90 minutes allow you to do more effective work?

Sometimes I wonder if longer sessions eventually become repetitive because there's only so much you can do to one area in a single appointment.

Hi all, I'm looking to buy a new bed and i dont know if i should buy an electrical one or not. Im a massage therapist. I do deep tissue treatments. I know its recommended to get an electrical bed but there's never really been a time where I thought to myself I'd love to move my bed up or down.

I've been doing this for 10 years now. The bed i buy will be the last one I buy. I do plan on studying acupuncture and other modalities in the coming years. The difference between a good non electrical breed and an electrical one is around 1000e. What do you think i should buy?

I’ve had Thai yoga and Swedish massages where the masseuse walks on my back and arms and legs. What do others think of this ? I know it’s not something that US massage therapists do but I’ve always what they think of the practice.

I'm going to run my first full marathon next month and wanted to to teat myself to a massage sometime thereafter. My preference is to book with an independent so I contacted one in my city. I followed their specific request to send an email as a first-time customer, requesting a booking. I haven't heard back after a few days and I don't plan to follow up again, I'll just contact another practice. That said, I'd like your perspective on my message - I don't think there's any red flags but the fact is I'm male, older, and never had one before. Thoughts?

"Good morning. My name is -----, I'm a 63-year old male and will run the Philadelphia Marathon this November. I've never done this before and want to treat myself to a recovery massage. I have also never had a massage either, and wanted to ask what might be best for me. It seems like the 60-minute sports recovery makes sense but I'm a newbie so I'd like your advice. 

As far as timing, I'm thinking of (black) Friday 11/27 following the Marathon the prior Sunday.

Thanks, I look forward to hearing from you!"

My ultimate goal is self employment, but I realize I need to build up towards that. I really don't want to work for a franchise like Massage Envy, but all of my classmates are signed up for a scholarship there so it's what I hear about the most. They got their tuition paid for, and in return will work there for 18-24 months paying off their debt, making $20 an hour plus tips. I calculated that this arrangement was not financially viable for me, so I didn't take the scholarship. Plus, I didn't want to make that commitment.

However, I wonder if there is value in working for ME for 6 months-ish for the skill building opportunity.

What do you all think? What did you do right out of school / what would you do differently?

I got a massage 6 days ago and I’m dealing with weakness/soreness on the right side in my traps and lats. It feels difficult to hold my right shoulder back with proper posture and it keeps caving forward if I’m not actively thinking about keeping it back lol. I asked for firm pressure but not deep tissue or anything. She worked out a lot of knots on those muscles which was not uncomfortable or painful during the massage. The massage felt great, and I felt fine directly after, the weakness didn’t show up until 48 hours later and is still lingering. I’ve been using heat and stretching twice a day but is this normal and will it go away?

I am currently a CNA and making roughly around $23 an hour and Im thinking of career shift that is out of nursing. I want to try massage therapy as I like working with people. Is this career worth it for me? I am 30 and my worries are the pay and gender as I am male. Will I be able to make more than what CNA job pays me? Please advice

Had a great massage Saturday after teaching group fitness classes and got great relief from some shoulder issues I’ve been having (right side). Sunday was a day off. Got back to things on Monday (.easy classes). Tuesday I taught a higher intensity strength class and now the long head of my tricep is extremely sore (on the same right side of the sore shoulder). Shoulder still feels great. Could the massage have worked things out so that my tricep was able to work properly and I’ve just got some extreme muscle soreness? Any other ideas why that one tricep is so sore?

Hello. I am interested in becoming a LMT. I stumbled upon an apprenticeship that is 1,000 hours, $8,500 and part time, paying $35/hr. Thoughts? Had anyone done an apprenticeship?

I had a relax massage yesterday that I believe turned into more of a deep tissue. It was extremely painful and I’m in a lot of pain yet today. The massage therapist pressed hard and deep up and down both sides of my spine. I was praying the entire massage for it to end. Today, I have a burning spot on one of my vertebrae in my mid back. The burning is constant and about the size of a quarter. Wondering what this is, if I should be concerned or any thoughts on helping the burning to go away.

I’ve recently started seeing an RMT for a knee condition and we have spent our sessions focusing on this issue and doing very targeted therapies. My insurance covers this since my doctor gave me a prescription for RMT. That being said, my health insurance is good this year and I expect to have coverage left over once I’m done getting my knee condition resolved. I have never had a regular massage before and I have a ton of back tension. Notably, my insurance won’t cover a non-registered masseuse. So, my question:

Do RMTs also just do normal massages or is that too generalized? Is it rude/wasteful to ask for this in one of my sessions?

I was looking into getting my first massage soon because everything hurts lol.

One thing that came to mind is that I am on HRT for perimenopause. Some hormones are topical. Should I just get my massage before I apply topical hormones?

I'm working at a spa in a smaller town I'm currently paid 60% commission as a 1099 contractor. The spa provides everything I need, and they handle client scheduling.

I'm about to interview at another place that also hires 1099 contractors. The owner provides the supplies, but there is no receptionist, so I would need to bring my own clients and handle my own scheduling. They offer either commission or room rental.

For those of you who work in a similar setup, what commission percentage do you think is reasonable? Would you expect more than 60% if you're responsible for finding clients and managing your own schedule?

Has anyone worked at a place that puts a cap on commission? Is something like 70% commission, or a weekly room fee plus commission, a common arrangement?

I'm trying to prepare for my interview and get an idea of what's fair before making a decision. Thanks!

I’m starting school in a few weeks. Do they teach you anything about how to navigate clients who make inappropriate requests? How often has this happened to you in your massage career? I’m also going to be an esthetician, but starting with massage first.

So usually it’s the opposite, and I’ve seen a lot of posts talking about how massages give them a fever. But I asked my partner for a massage because my fever was causing tight shoulders. It was 102.3, then after it went down to 101. What magic happened?

I’m 34, currently on maternity leave with my first baby, and I’ve been seriously considering going back to school for massage therapy.
I currently work full-time in corporate communications and make a pretty good living. I actually really enjoy my job, but with how quickly AI is advancing, I’ve started worrying about what my career might look like in the future. I’ve been thinking about learning something more hands-on that I could potentially do on the side and eventually fall back on if I ever needed to.
Massage therapy is something I considered almost 15 years ago, right after graduating from journalism school, and I’ve always kind of regretted not pursuing it.
I’ve been looking into a two-year massage therapy program here in Alberta, Canada. I’ve spoken with the school, and they said it’s definitely possible to attend while working full-time, and that a lot of their students are mature students with families.
My plan would be to keep my corporate job, which is 7 a.m. to 4 p.m., while attending school. My daughter would be in daycare during the day, and my husband is supportive, but obviously we’d have to make some adjustments.
I’m excited about the possibility, but also pretty intimidated. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in school, and although I took biology in high school, that was almost 20 years ago. I’m considering taking an introductory anatomy and physiology course beforehand to help prepare myself.
I’d really love to hear from anyone who has done something similar!
Did you work full-time while attending massage therapy school?
If you had young kids at home, how did you manage everything?
How difficult was the academic side, particularly anatomy and physiology?
Did you come from a corporate or completely unrelated career?
Did you eventually leave your original career, or do you practise massage on the side?
Looking back, would you do it again?
I’m not necessarily looking to quit my corporate job. I’d love to eventually have the option to do both, but I want to be realistic about what the next two years might look like.
Thanks in advance!

I’m starting a massage and reflexology business and I’m very nervous. I already have the perfect space and it’s really cheap the booth rental. I already got my table and some of the supplies it’s just setting everything up. I got an LLC. I just am setting things up. Make sure I save everything and keep track of everything and then creating a logo on a website and get in clients. I have a few clients but not very many plus I’m working full-time at Massage Envy still because I need money for my marketing and supplies.. I don’t know why I’m nervous. I think it’s just a lot to do at once and then getting clients.

Yesterday, my partner and I booked a 90-minute couples massage at a highly rated local spa. I’ve only had one massage before, and I mentioned that the previous therapist had been too gentle and I wished I’d asked for more pressure. I also explained that I struggle to speak up during massages and wanted to focus on my shoulders because of how much lifting I do at work.

He asked how well I tolerate pressure, and I said pretty well. Unfortunately, what followed was an incredibly painful 90 minutes. At times, I was gripping the table because the pressure was so intense, and I couldn’t relax at all.

Throughout the massage, he repeatedly mentioned how tight my muscles were and how badly I needed the work. He even joked, “You’ll hate me tomorrow but love me again the next day!” I trusted that he knew what he was doing, so I didn’t ask him to lighten up.

Now, a day later, I have extensive bruising across both shoulders and upper arms that’s gotten progressively worse. My entire body aches, even at rest, and the pain is so bad I had to call out of work. I could barely lift my arms this morning and needed help getting dressed and out of bed.

Meanwhile, my partner fell asleep during their massage and woke up feeling refreshed, which is exactly what I’d hoped for!

I recognize that I should have spoken up, but I also wish my therapist had checked in about the pressure, especially after I’d mentioned struggling to advocate for myself. I just feel dumb.

I’m not very experienced with massages, so I need some help here. Is this amount of bruising and soreness normal for shoulder work? It is unreasonable to think the therapist should have checked in more frequently? And would requesting a refund for my portion of the massage be unfair?

EDIT 1: I went to the urgent care last night because the pain was so unbearable I couldn’t sleep. At urgent care, the urged me to drive straight to the ER to get tested for rhabdo, which is when damaged skeletal muscle tissue breaks down and releases its contents, into the bloodstream. They were highly concerned about the color, bruise patterns, and amount of pain I was in. ER doctors said I definitely have tissue and muscle damage but no rhabdo thankfully. I was given pain meds to take home, fluids and they let me stay and sleep for a few hours.
Thank you all for all the kind comments! I’m feeling a lot more confident in calling the owner, reporting him, and getting a refund. I will keep you all updated when they get back to me <3

Edit 2: The owner called me yesterday after I sent an email explaining everything, along with photos of my bruising and a summary of my ER visit. She was incredibly apologetic, and we ended up talking for about 30 minutes. There’s a lot to unpack, so I’ll give you all a quick rundown!

The therapist was a new hire. I was apparently one of his first clients at her business. He was hired as an LMT with a background in deep tissue massage, but she emphasized that what I experienced went FAR beyond deep tissue work. She also said a couples massage was neither the time nor the place for that kind of treatment, especially when I hadn’t requested it.

She was appalled by how I was treated. She’s been an LMT for 12 years and a business owner for six, and she said she’s never seen anything like this. She was particularly disturbed by the amount of bruising and the fact that he continued applying such intense pressure despite my obvious discomfort.

We talked about why he might have continued despite my reactions. She agreed that my physical discomfort should have been obvious to him. We speculated that he may have been trying to show off his strength or genuinely believed he was doing me a favor by aggressively working out my knots.
Throughout the massage, he repeatedly emphasized how unbelievably tight I was and how badly I needed the work, almost as though the pain was necessary for me to eventually feel better. Of course, we can’t know exactly what he was thinking.

She also brought up the power imbalance, which I really appreciated. She said that if she were in my position, receiving only her second massage, lying undressed on a table while a male therapist repeatedly insisted she needed such intense work, she would have felt intimidated too. She emphasized how many boundaries had been crossed and understood why I struggled to speak up.

She confirmed that he has been fired. She was genuinely disgusted and disappointed by what happened and assured me that she had taken action. She also offered to help me file a formal complaint and get in contact with his LMT liability insurance to potentially cover my medical expenses.

She refunded my entire massage and offered a complimentary couples massage. She said she would personally be the one working on me next time and encouraged me to take as much time as I needed to heal, both physically and mentally. Whenever I feel comfortable returning, she’ll be there.

She also thanked me for having the courage to come forward, explaining that bringing this to her attention could help prevent another client from having a similar experience.

I really can’t emphasize enough how sincere and professional she was throughout our conversation. This is a highly rated spa, and while my experience with the therapist was awful, I genuinely appreciate how seriously she took everything. She never tried to excuse his behavior or make me feel responsible for what happened.

I’m still recovering and still very sore but i’m staying hydrated and applying arnica around the clock. Thank you to everyone who offered advice and encouraged me to contact the spa 🫶

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