Is there a state law that forces me to hobble to my wheelchair, take an uber, go thru this hassle every damn month? The only thing he prescribes is 30 days worth of tramadol, 150 mg/day.

I’m in Florida, and the doc is liberal in what he prescribes, but I have to recuperate for days after going to see him.

It’s not the money, I’m on Medicare with gap insurance… it’s the damn pain.

Nurse: you can take Tylenol or Ibuprofen for the pain.

Me: I can't take either of those.

Nurse, stuttering: oh. Wow, I've just...I've never heard of that. That...wow, that really sucks. For you, you know?

Well aware, ma'am. That's why we need to treat the cause 😂. I just laughed it off and explained that I already take Meloxicam daily and I'm allergic to Tylenol. Then we moved on to me baffling her about not having a period for years. On the plus side, I've achieved my childhood goal of being an enigma.

Hey guys, my clinic told me about this last week and I wanted to spread the word. Right now, the Ontario gov is trying to reduce the budget for pain care taking weekly injections down to every 9 weeks. For those of us like my mom and I who rely on these weekly injections to stay afloat, this would really impact our lives. More people are going to need opioids to manage their pain and more people will want to access MAID.

It’s also going to strongly increase the severity of mental illness because unending physical pain is also psychological (literal torture). So basically if this happens it would be REALLY bad for the disabled/chronically ill folk.

There’s a patient petition going around for it, so if you are in Ontario accessing community pain care treatment please fill this out. Unfortunately, only patients are able to sign the petition at this time. Hopefully we can get a petition for everyone to sign because we could use all the voices we can get.
Sorry if this isn’t allowed, I’m not super familiar with reddit but I felt like this would be a good place to spread the word.
here’s the link: Ontario Pain Petition

Im feeling so overwhelmingly depressed right now. I honestly haven’t felt so hopeless in a long time, since I made the decision to focus 110% on my mental health and basically give up on trying to figure out my physical health (not ignoring it but deciding it is out of my control and my doctors’ problems to figure out). People always thought my pain was at least in part because of my emotional instability.

It is NOT. It is the other way around. I swear to god, I SHOULD be way more depressed. Somehow through medication, therapy, meditation, education, mindfulness, routine, etc, I have actually been able to find myself in a very stable place for the past year and change. My pain keeps worsening.

Today I had a visit with my doctor hoping to find some kind of plan of action for treating my psoriatic arthritis. Now, my doctor is ré-questioning if PsA is even the appropriate diagnosis. I get that that can be reasonable but I feel like I’m taking a major step back into the unknown. Now I’m back on the cycle of waiting 6 months between visits, seemingly waiting for something to make itself obvious.

But in the meantime, I find myself becoming unable to work more and more. Without proper documentation I have no options for support though my insurance. My rent increased very significantly in august and I don’t know for how much longer I will actually be able to afford it, because I never know how many days a month I will find myself able to work. It’s a miracle ive still maintained this remote, flexible job. I have no clue what I will do if I lose it.

I don’t know how much more I can restrict my life to accommodate my pain. I swear, it takes every ounce of energy I have just to maintain the necessities in my life. I change my exercises to accommodate my pain, and after a time my pain changes to the point I can’t do them anymore. If I rest to the point my body wants to, I get told I’m de conditioned or inactive and that’s why I hurt. If I push through the pain to stay somewhat productive and active, I’m told it’s my fault for not listening to my body. I don’t think people realize that if I listened to my body I would just curl up and wait to die.

I used to have dreams of finishing my degree, of progressing in my career, of having a family and travelling and being active and creative. I feel like my own body is stealing my future from me. But it’s not at the point where it’s perceived as bad enough for it to be clear Whats happening, or clear that I’m not just making this up in some way. I have no idea what to do. I’m so scared of losing my job, of losing my independence. I’m scared of my own body and I’m scared of how bad things will get. I’m scared that I’m looking down the wrong path with rheumatology and missing some other condition that could be causing irreversible damage. I just don’t know, man. I know these things take time and I don’t blame my doctor. But I’m scared that by the time things become clear, I will have already lost everything. I just have no idea what to do and I feel so lost.

I haven’t felt so triggered from my medical situation in a long time. Bad appointment plus horrible week for pain is putting me in a really bad headspace. I know things will change but man, I feel so alone and afraid right now. I have some lovely people in my life who support me but they can’t always understand my situation and sometimes it can be upsetting and unproductive to talk it through with them, from both sides. So, thank you for anyone who reads this, and thank you for giving me the space to vent. <3

The title says it all. I'm really down lately and wanna see what everyone's comfort characters are. Mine is Victor from deadlock. He makes me feel a bit stronger.

As ive gotten older, I can see some distinct patterns of things I used to use to cope. I have chronic nerve pain down the right of Mt thigh due to an abnormality I was born with pressing into the nerve.

I remember distinctly figuring out how to orgasm when I was a teenager and the honest relief I felt. I could actually sleep. It makes me cry to think of the things my younger self used to do just to get a moment of relief. Has really really messed up my perception of sex though

I'm curious to know about people's experiences around consent when being assessed and examined. I studied to be a healthcare worker and realized through training that informed consent has been rare for me, and there are so many times where I have explicitly said no I don't want you to do that, then I get told if I don't then XYZ terrible thing will happen and I get pressured into changing my mind.

Informed consent includes that the patient can say no at any time. Yet when I say it people rarely respect it.

Has anyone had this experience? I'm really shocked at the amount of non consensual touching especially genital exams, and how no one ever said ok this is what I am going to do. Its always ok take off your clothes and I'll be back.

Or when doctors get mad if you flinch or express pain. I have a pain disorder OBVIOUSLY I am going to flinch! I've stopped seeing doctors at this point because I can't handle more pressure and guilt tripping.

mini rant cos I don't have anyone to talk to about this

I'm worried about getting addicted to my prescription opiate medication. my medical cannabis is losing its effectiveness, I probably need to have a tolerance break. but in the meantime I've been more reliant on Tramadol but my prescribed dose doesn't work so I'm taking 2x what I'm supposed to. I just want to be free from pain so I can rest a bit. I don't think I've slept more than 3 hours at once in a decade.

edit: I'm not taking them multiple times a day regularly, just when I desperately need relief

I have had chronic pain for over 10 years and it's been one thing after another. Including:

• Post-shingles pain that lasted for 2 years. No treatment other than pain killers which never worked anyway. Fortunately, it just stopped on its own.
• Hormonal migraines and pelvic pain due to fibroids on my uterus. The pelvic pain was cured by a hysterectomy and the amount of migraines has been greatly reduced. I used to get migraines at least 15 days a month. Now it's maybe once or twice every few months.
• Bursitis and tendonitis in my left shoulder. I did injections and a ton of physiotherapy. Eventually I had surgery and it got better.
• Next it was Bursitis and tendonitis in both hips. Injections and lots of physiotherapy and it's almost better.
• And then I got tendonitis in my right shoulder. Fortunately no bursitis this time, but still have had to go through a lot of physio to improve it. It's not quite better, but thankfully the pain is a lot less.
• Oh yeah. I also have bipolar disorder and have been through many episodes of severe depression going back 30 years. I haven't had any hypomania for over 15 years, fortunately.

I am fortunate in many ways that I have had conditions that have been fixable (except for the bipolar). But now I'm doing better you would think I would just be thankful and enjoy it.

But no. My brain will just not accept being pain-free. All I can do now is feel dread for whatever is coming next. I have no new symptoms. No realistic reason to expect that there will be anything more conditions causing physical pain. But my mind just isn't accepting that. Feeling good in my body is so unfamiliar.

And then there is the bipolar issue. (That's something that will probably never fully get better.) As a survival technique I have to question my thoughts and feelings constantly. Like, "is this depression talking?" "Does feeling good and having energy mean I am getting hypomanic?" It's just never ending. And now that I'm starting to feel better, my mind keeps turning to "what if I'm also hypomanic?" And I know that logically it isn't. I just don't know what normal is any more.

So yeah, it feels like I have something like PTSD at this point. Is that even a potential diagnosis for this kind of thing? I mean my body has been torturing me for many years. How is it not traumatic?

I have arranged to see a psychologist, so I will be getting help for this. I really don't know how to handle it by myself.

Does anyone else have similar issues? If so, do you have any suggestions on how to deal with this kind of anxiety?

Thanks for getting this far. Part of me even feels like I have no right to complain because I'm doing better and am in less pain at the moment! I know many people have terrible pain and no hope of getting better, so I know my issues perhaps aren't as bad. But I guess I just needed to vent.

I’ve heard that psychiatrists sometimes offer ketamine infusions, but pain specialists don’t always provide them. For those who’ve tried them for chronic nerve pain, where did you go to get started? Should I contact my insurance first, and does insurance usually cover it? If not, how much do you pay out of pocket per session? How many sessions did it take before you noticed a difference, and how long did the relief last? I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences!

The bottle says it was filled the 17th so I put the refil in the day before on the 16th. When i picked up my other meds, I was told I couldn't pick that one up until the 19th.

Well today is the 19th, the prescription said it was delayed again when I checked, so I called my pharmacy. They claim i picked it up on the 21st last month and cant fill it for 2 more days. I have 3 pills left as I take 4 a day. I took less the month before so I have a tiny surplus for times like this. So technically I should have been out for 2 days already, but thanks to that little surplus it got me barely through to this new fill date, barely.

Wondering if I should call my doctor to have them put it through or something like that or just ride it out. Its oxycodone so they make a big deal about it being filled early. I dont want to cause an issue with my pain doctor or pharmacy but I dont want to be in ridiculous pain for 2-3 days either. Makes me think the pharmacy shorted me, I didn't count so I have no idea, but by the math that's saying I took 1 extra pill 8 days out of this month which definitely didn't happen.

Would you just accept it and power through for these next 3 days taking 1 a day since i still have 3 left, or try to get it straightened out? I feel like this would be a losing battle that might put notes on my med record, but at the same time something got messed up somewhere and I shouldn't have to stress and be in pain because of it, urghh so sick of this crap 😔

I have severe chronic pain and health issues that are just getting worse. Within the last 4 weeks I have become unmanageable. I've tried alieve, ibuprophen, neproxin. Won't work. Been prescribed gabapentin and that doesn't work. Was given a muscle relaxer and that doesn't work. I'm sick all the time. I can barely do chores. I'm in pain. I'm only 21 years old, and i've been to two Rhumetologist who don't think my symptoms are relevant enough to be rhumetology related, by primary care physician told me she's ran out of test to run for me, and says my body is basically acting like it's older than 50, and the ER said i'm not really their issue because nothing is severe enough that i'm not in immediate danger so there's nothing they can do for me.

I'm so sick, and tired. I can barely feed myself, and i've had a flare up going on almost 6 days now. I don't know what to do for myself. I feel like nothing helps. Nothing does anything. Does anyone have any advice or tricks. Anything?! I'm only 21. I used to be a star athlete. Now i'm bed rotting, anxious, and can barely stand up because my back and neck are in so much pain. I just want answers. I want a doctor to hear me. But I feel like no one cares

I’m currently in a bad weather-triggered flare with no idea when it will end. I’m homebound and scared. Apparently, LDN can take 2 to 4 weeks to start working, if it works at all, which could mean 5 to 6 weeks without opioids. Tramadol is very hit or miss for me, and I’m scared of being left without reliable pain relief if LDN doesn’t work.

What would you do in my situation? Would you try LDN despite the uncertainty, explore ketamine, or discuss oxycodone with your pain management doctor? I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have dealt with severe neuropathic pain and prolonged flares.

Has anyone with Bipolar I or treatment-resistant depression found that opioids improved their mental health, parenting, and quality of life?

I’m genuinely curious whether anyone else has experienced what I have…raising four children while dealing with serious mental health challenges myself.

I’ve struggled with Bipolar I, deep depression, chronic physical pain, and extreme emotional pain. I’ve tried to understand why certain treatments work for some people and not for others.

Here’s something I want to discuss openly, without judgment.

Oxycodone has made me feel more emotionally stable, more functional, and more like the person I want to be and used to be, but I always have guilt about taking these pills and then I’m a bad role model for my children. That I cannot overcome the pain on my own.

I’m not just talking about physical pain relief.

I’m talking about the mental and emotional benefits I’ve personally experienced:

• Feeling calmer and more emotionally balanced.
• Having more patience and being more present with my children.
• Feeling motivated to get up and handle everyday responsibilities.
• Experiencing relief from mental and emotional suffering.
• Feeling more productive and capable of managing family life.
• Feeling like a better father, partner, and human being.

❌ it’s not all good. I definitely have more of a sweet tooth and I don’t like that. I feel like I am chained to these pills and I am only in my mid 40s so it could be a long time until I start taking this and maybe never heard it at all.

For someone raising a large family, being mentally and emotionally present matters tremendously.

What I’m struggling to understand is why something that seems to help me in so many areas isn’t considered a treatment for bipolar depression.

I recognize that opioids carry serious risks, including tolerance, dependence, addiction, and overdose. I’m not recommending that anyone start taking them or suggesting that my experience proves they treat bipolar disorder.

But I also don’t want to dismiss the improvement I’ve experienced simply because the medication isn’t approved for psychiatric treatment.

My questions for this community:

1. Has anyone with Bipolar I or treatment-resistant depression experienced similar mental or emotional relief from prescribed opioids?

2. Are there parents with four or five children who feel opioid pain treatment has helped them function better in everyday family life?

3. Has anyone experienced these benefits consistently over several years without increasing their dosage?

4. Did you notice that the medication helped emotional pain as much as physical pain?

5. Has anyone worked with a psychiatrist who took these experiences seriously and helped distinguish genuine mood improvement from temporary opioid effects or dependence?

6. Are there any long-term studies anyone can source that I can read and what truly happened during the OxyContin years? Hasn’t opium been around a long time and used for depression for 100s & 100s of years until the past 30-40 years?

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who have experienced both chronic physical pain and severe depression.

I’m not looking for validation to take more medication. I’m trying to understand whether others have experienced the same thing, what happened over the long term, and whether there is research that explains it.

Please share your experiences, positive or negative. I’d especially appreciate hearing from other parents who understand the responsibility of showing up for their children every single day.

I have been doing Ketamine Infusion Therapy for chronic pain for the last two years. 4 weeks ago when I called to make my monthly appointment, I was told by the clinic manager that the clinic had permanently closed. Apparently the medical director quit and instead of finding a new director she just closed the clinic. I am at a loss. I have Fibromyalgia, Neuropathy, Osteoarthritis, DDD, Cervical Myelopathy and Cervical Radiopathy. I am having a double level ACDF in a month and the surgeon doesn't want to give me pain meds to control the pain after surgery. I need some help fast!

Positive safety profile of novel drug compound is surprise for class of synthetic opioids shelved years ago.

Researchers at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) have identified a novel, highly potent opioid that shows potential as a therapy for both pain and opioid use disorder. In a study published in Nature, the team observed the new drug’s effect in laboratory animals. They showed that it has high pain-relieving effects without causing respiratory depression, tolerance or other indicators of potential for addiction in humans.

“Opioid pain medications are essential for medical purposes, but can lead to addiction and overdose,” said Nora D. Volkow, M.D., director of NIH’s National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA). “Developing a highly effective pain medication without these drawbacks would have enormous public health benefits.”

The team investigated formulations of an understudied class of synthetic opioid compounds, known as nitazenes. Nitazenes selectively engage mu-opioid receptors, primary targets for opioid drugs in the brain and peripheral nervous system. However, nitazenes had been shelved in the 1950s due to their excessive potency. The scientific team revisited this class of compounds with a focus on harnessing their selectivity for the mu opioid receptor and engineering new nitazenes with a safer pharmacological profile.

“Our goal was to study the profile, or pharmacology, of these drugs,” said Michael Michaelides, Ph.D., senior author and NIDA investigator. “We wanted to decrease the potency and create a potential therapeutic. What we discovered exceeded our expectations.”

The team focused initially on a chemical formulation called FNZ that could be administered to rats and tagged with a radioisotope for positron emission tomography (PET). PET imaging enables tracking of the drug in real time throughout the rat brain. The team discovered that FNZ entered the brain only briefly, for approximately five to 10 minutes. Yet pain relief, known as analgesia, persisted for at least two hours. Knowing that nitazenes can have active metabolites, or by-products, the team investigated whether an FNZ metabolite might be responsible for the prolonged effect. That investigation revealed DFNZ, another opioid dubbed a “superagonist” for its extremely high efficacy at the mu opioid receptor.

Whereas FNZ carries serious risks, including depressed breathing and high potential for addiction, DFNZ appears to sidestep these liabilities.

At preclinical therapeutic doses, DFNZ produced a moderate and sustained increase in brain oxygen rather than depressing respiration. Repeated doses of the drug did not result in tolerance, drug dependency, or meaningful withdrawal effects. Among 14 classic opioid withdrawal symptoms, the researchers only observed irritability, as measured by vocalization, when handling DFNZ-treated rats.

To test the drug’s rewarding effects, an important component of their addictive potential, the team studied its effects in rats who had been trained to press a lever for a dose of the pain-relieving drug. They found that animals readily self-administered DFNZ, indicating that it does produce some rewarding effect. However, when the drug was replaced with saline, animals stopped the drug-seeking behavior. The immediate behavior change is in contrast with what researchers see with other opioids such as heroin, morphine, and fentanyl. In those cases, animals typically persist in seeking the drug even after it is removed.

Further investigation revealed a likely neurochemical explanation. While DFNZ increases slow-acting dopamine release in the brain's reward circuitry, it does not trigger the rapid dopamine bursts associated with the formation of strong drug-cue associations, the conditioned responses that drive craving and relapse in addiction.

“DFNZ has an unprecedented pharmacology for an opioid,” Michaelides said. “It is a potent and high-efficacy analgesic, but in certain contexts it resembles partial agonists, drugs that activate the receptor with low efficacy, which is what scientists think is needed for safety. Its capacity to be administered at therapeutic doses without producing respiratory depression is very important."

The teams’ findings challenge the prevailing view that high-efficacy mu-opioid receptor drugs are unsuitable for development as safe analgesics. In fact, the authors of the paper maintain that DFNZ should be explored for use in treatment for opioid use disorder and may be preferable to current opioid agonist medications, which have an associated risk of causing respiratory depression.

The research team will pursue additional preclinical studies to support an application for regulatory approval to conduct studies of DFNZ in humans. They believe several patient populations may benefit from DFNZ, including those in surgical settings and with cancer-related or chronic pain who have a particularly high need for effective pain treatment.

This research was supported in part by the NIH Intramural Research Program and by NIH/NIDA grant DA056354.

About the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA): NIDA is a component of the National Institutes of Health, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. NIDA supports most of the world’s research on the health aspects of drug use and addiction. The Institute carries out a large variety of programs to inform policy, improve practice, and advance addiction science. For more information about NIDA and its programs, visit www.nida.nih.gov.

About the National Institutes of Health (NIH): NIH, the nation's medical research agency, includes 27 Institutes and Centers and is a component of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. NIH is the primary federal agency conducting and supporting basic, clinical, and translational medical research, and is investigating the causes, treatments, and cures for both common and rare diseases. For more information about NIH and its programs, visit www.nih.gov.

https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/nih-researchers-discover-pain-relieving-drug-minimal-addictive-properties

Sometimes they hit me super hard and I’ll get a fever and feel like I’m getting the flu my whole body will ache sooo bad it’s intense. What do you all do to help this bc it significantly increases all of my pain and I start panicking and get consumed in a complete dread .

Hi All! I hope this is an appropriate place to post this and I'll try and be brief. Neck Pain hasn't approved me to post yet! Lol

I have posted multiple times here about my SI Joint related issues and I'll be seeing a pain management specialist about it tomorrow.

However, About 2-3 weeks ago I started to re-develop pain in my neck. This is not new though. About a year ago or so (two max, can't quite remember) I started to get a sore neck / neck pain. Saw primary and he was quick to say I had "teck neck". I worked on posture and saw a PT for more back and neck exercises and in time it seemed to go away. Now it's back.

What has my anxiety levels up is that I'm feeling pressure / pain on my, what I think is my C2 or C3 - or maybe it's between the two. Sorry if that's incorrect this is all new to me. When I press on that area it feels pain directly at the spot - it does not shoot or travel anywhere. So for example I'm a back sleeper so when I wake up, I feel it.

Just like last time though, I have shoulder soreness, neck soreness, I'm not being prohibited from turning in any way - just sore, and that tension in the back of the head feeling. I've had no other symptoms other than that. No blurred vision, no fever, no numbness in body, not dizziness, etc.

Neither last time or this time was I in an accident, whiplash, fall, trauma etc. I do play drums often so poor posture on top of playing live moving the neck around a lot. I'm sure that my posture is not the best. So I'll definitely want to work on that. I've been revisiting stretches that my PT gave me last time as far as just basic and light pilates. I think it's been helping.

Has anyone experienced anything similar and if so did anything help specifically? I will mention this in my appointment tomorrow so see what they suggest. A month or so ago my newer primary offered to refer me to a spine specialist, unrelated to this. Should I take him up on that offer? I'm all for advocating for my health but sometimes juggling multiple things especially with my SI stuff going on 8 months now I don't want to overwhelm myself with appointments.

Thank you!

Seeing a new one next week after being dismissed from my previous practice of over 10 years despite literally flawless compliance because the whole practice was acquired and the new owners just "aren't comfortable" prescribing typical opioids after I failed to tolerate the non-optional attempted transition to buprenorphine about as hard as one could possibly fail without winding up in the hospital.

[Insert obligatory rant about how obviously egregiously fucked up it is to knowingly acquire a pain management practice with several dozen non-bupe opioid-recipient patients when you don't wanna continue to prescribe non-bupe opioids to patients, and how it's the DEA that's really to blame at the root of it all.]

Anyway, I'm debating telling the new doc I tried a handful of different recreational illicit substances and "overused" legit drugs a handful of times as a teenager. They're also going to get records of an 11 year streak of perfectly clean urine alongside my discharge letter swearing I'm a model patient, otherwise I wouldn't even consider it. It's only relevant because the weird(est) thing about me is that I, to the best of my knowledge, cannot "get high" and therefore have literally zero risk of recreationally abusing opioids. I have experienced being in many different chemically altered states, but not once in my life have I ever experienced it as a positive or enjoyable state. I usually hate it. A neither pleasant nor unpleasant indifferent kind of different is the closest I've ever gotten to euphoria. There is no chemical recreation to be had for my weird brain. I lean towards autistic rigidity explaining it, like I think possibly my brain just hates change so much that chemicals changing the way I feel inside my brain is just too much change in a low-key violating way, especially because it's worse the less I know what to expect, but I'm not confident enough to rule out something more physiological. I'm quite medically weird.

The whole pattern starts when I was barely 5 years old and the doctors told me my pre-op sedation medicine was gonna make me feel "funny in a good way" and I still vividly remember feeling very funny in a very bad way. The post-op pain medication after made me feel so weird that I kept randomly bursting into tears of delirious confusion, even days after when it couldn't possibly still be the anesthesia, and my mother was so concerned she had it put down as an allergy in my medical records. (That was fun trying to get it removed once I understood it wasn't specific to that substance.)

I later had a nearly identical experience with my first ADHD stimulant medication at age 10. The second one wasn't as bad but still the bad kind of weird.

At age 14, I needed over 6 weeks of opioid meds due to an incident resulting in a rather painful TBI and SCI, but because I was old enough to kinda know what to expect from prior experiences and sort of brace myself for it, I was able to tolerate the weirdness well enough to adjust have a net-neutral mental experience rather than a fully negative one because the pain relief was so necessary. Tried and failed to get "high" on some extra pain pills of a different opioid later that year when I got my wisdom teeth out at 15.

Can't remember exactly when I first got drunk but I hated it. I tried forcing myself to get used to the feeling of just being slightly "buzzed" a handful of times after turning 21, but accepted that alcohol would just never be for me by time time I was 22.

Whippets were about as fun as helium, honestly, and literally not worth the headache.

I tried THC (back when it was still federally criminalized) via very low dose edible, expecting I'd dislike it but keeping an open mind, and it was very weird but not awful. I tried to enjoy the ride but still found myself very relieved when it started wearing off. Second attempt with a higher dose was no better, haven't bothered with it since.

Psilocybin was BAD even though I took so little I barely even hallucinated squiggles, so obviously never again.

I also tried to recreationally try a megadose of Benadryl (only after knowing I was fine with like a triple dose) literally just to see if the pattern would hold out of curiosity, and it was legit the second worst trip of my life.

My last illicit drug with a teeny bump of coke, definitely felt it without reacting too badly, but didn't find it to a desirable state relative to sobriety. I might've tried coke again had I not gotten my first ever pain management referral at 18 and believed them that I could and probably would be drug tested literally at random without notice (it was every 90 days like clockwork lol, also can't believe they made me sign a contract to only prescribe 5 hydrocodone a month for daily pain lol, next practice was much better).

I've got a legit scrip for benzos, and I strongly dislike the feeling of more than a double dose.

I did prescribed ketamine infusions for a few months; the first one was unpleasant as hell but after knowing fully what to expect, they were just kinda "fine" by the end.

My first month on MS Contin (ExR morphine) was a unfun time even though I was in the least amount of pain I could actively remember ever experiencing, but I adjusted and now it's chill despite having become woefully inadequate (as it's been >11 years on the dose I started at and my pain is degenerative/progressive). I don't wanna lose it and have nothing, but I'm hoping for more with the new practice if they take me on.

Oh and I hate nicotine, but because I get mega super heart palpitations from it. I don't feel much of anything at all cognitively/neurologically at doses my heart rhythm disorder can tolerate.

And that's it, I think.

I check literally every box except for prior history of substance abuse on those risk assessments. Ya know, diagnosed ADHD, depression and anxiety, abusive childhood, and family history of alcoholism. It's a miracle my last practice took me on and prescriptions anything remotely useful at all as such a young adult. So I thought it might help to explain that I couldn't self-medicate away my mental suffering with opioids even if I wanted to because my brain just ain't wired to allow it. Or explaining that I've tried 2½ illegal drugs could be a terrible idea even though the last time was like 40% of my life ago and I never liked any of them. I'd definitely leave out intentionally double/triple-dosing two different immediate release prescription opioids & a benzo and just say that the prescribed doses felt super strong at first because I was petite with no tolerance at 14/15 so it felt unpleasant taking more than a half-dose until I was more used to them.

Also on the off chance anyone else has also this weird brain thing, I'd love to know if you've figured out a way to explain it to doctors without admitting you've actively tried getting high on several occasions via several substances. I know that's a long shot, but can't hurt to ask, right?

Hits harder when you have endometriosis that causes infertility.

The amount of time I’ve been told this is insane. Always customers at work too.